I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!
I used to be hopeful.
I used to care.
I used to believe that "it's just not [my] time".
But right now? Right now I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. Right now I want to stand toe to toe with God and ask him why? WHY?
Why did I have to lose my baby?
Why did I have to endure this shame?
Why did I not have the strength to tell the people around me?
Why is there no one in my life who understands?
Why does she get to be pregnant?
Why?
Why!
Why?!?
Her? Her! Of all people!
She destroyed the marriage of one woman in this office. Then she snaked her way into that woman's friendships and cost her her best friend. This bitch is STILL MARRIED! To a drug addict that is currently sitting in a Delaware prison. She hangs around the kind of unsavory people that would "smoke" in a bed and cause her apartment to be burned down.
AND SHE GETS TO BE PREGNANT!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!???!!!!??????!!!?!!
This bitch tried to destroy me! She weaseled her way into a friendship with one of my friends and now that's gone too. Yes, I chose to end the friendship but I guess that's because I couldn't figure out what kind of "friend" would tell your secrets to someone so unworthy. Someone that you don't trust!
I thought I could do this. I thought I had it figured out. I thought that I was a better person than this. But all I really want to do is scream and cry and throw things AT HER!
I could go on about how evil and dishonest and untrustworthy she is but I only need to say this. She made it her business to copy and paste words from my blog and send them to everyone in our office. Period. End of sentence.
I hate her! And I can't see how it is that God decided that she should have a child. I can't. And if that's the kind of god I serve, then I don't know if I can keep doing that either.
