Acknowledging His Grace

Once again I'm writing on the rich young man. Seems like there's tonnes to learn from him. Its about his possessions this time. What did you think he possessed? He had a lot of money, probably a huge mansion, a nice carriage(a sports car in today's time) and many material comfort amongst many other things I believe. MANY POSSESSIONS which Jesus asked him to sell away and give to the poor but he went away sad because he had great wealth, POSSESSIONS.

On the Eve of Lunar New Year, we went over to my Wai Po's place to have reunion dinner with Wai Pol, Jiu Jiu and Rose and I manage to learn something from Jiu Jiu.

There's no loved cause it doesn't stop just because the person is not around anymore.

Even as we become disciples, we must still be alert and be careful to not allow ourselves to fall away. For it is a daily decision and effort to take up the cross and follow Him.

Look and study Judas and you will know that even someone as close as within the 12 can fall away so who are we to say that we will not be tempted. Pride comes before a fall. How very true. Judas as many know as the disciple that betrayed Jesus was appointed as the treasurer. Thus it would seem there was a time when they trusted him, knew he was wise with money and perhaps even had something about him that made them believe he would be the last to take from them. Like the other 12, he too gave up all that he had and followed Jesus. However he allowed temptations to lure him back to a life of sin. John 12:6 speaks of how he took from the money meant for them.

Thats the start of allowing evil into your life. Stealing, depriving others of having the right to possess it. It started small from taking money to the life of his Lord. No matter how small a sin you're committing, it will grow and manifest itself through the evil thoughts and intentions as your conscience is slowly but inevitably being eroded away as you satisfy your earthly pleasures and desires. Even King David, a lover of God, committed adultery. Surely it was not an overnight turn of heart but a process over time of allowing his mind to dwell in lust and finally leading to the shameful act.

Unless we repent and turn, it is more than likely that one sin will lead to another and landslide to a life of sin which will be extremely difficult to get out of. Remeber every sin, big or small is the same in His eyes. Sin is Sin! However He is faithful to forgive if we just confess. So lets not cover up sin with sin anymore but recouncil back with the God that came and love us despite our sins.

It may not be easy and a struggle each day to deny the flesh but still do it and above all else seek after the heart of God diligently and faithfully and He will keep your path straight. =)

I guess I've been overly caught by self pity and feelings. I have many things to give thanks for compared to many people. I'm well and healthy and I do have people who love me and respect me. I must be thankful and choose to look at the bright side cause its all in the decisions we make. That's life. Our decisions DETERMINES our lives. I think I've posted this before so guess I'm relearning it again. =) No harm recaping. Afterall I think many people did enjoy that night. So its my pleasure to bring happiness to others.

I just read through the article on Haiti and realized how caught up I am in my own world that I forget that This world needs my prayer and help.

Lord I ask in the name of Jesus that you help us see beyond ourselves and to open our eyes to a world of need and suffering where your word and presence is capable of restoring peace and joy. Lord help us bring your word and spread it far and wide that many may come to share and know of your amazing LOVE. Come lets worship! =)

Hereditary disease? I think they that it is as John 9 says, Neither this man nor the parents sinned but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. No doubt through Adam, we as his decendents are plagued with this hereditary disease of sin, but it did not happened so that we may suffer. God definitely do not rejoice at you suffering over such pain for no good reason. All this happened that GOD MIGHT BE DISPLAYED IN HIS LIFE! So lets pray and believe together that God will heal!

The Birthday celebration went well enough. I managed to do up the decorations with the help of my Bros and bro and get everything sorted out. Even when food ran out, the contingency worked out fine and it wasn't too big a hick up. The only regret was that it seem like I've neglected some people and have not been a good host. But ultimately I am not pleased nor happy. Well I did enjoy the company and simply presence of those that I love, my buddies in OCS, Matt and Jun Quan, Choir mates from Aureole, Min and my Bros. BUT I am unhappy cause no one except for a few cares. I feel alone and abandoned and unloved. VERY.

The reason why I even have a celebration is simply because my mum got pressurized to do it or it'll look bad on her. If not, it'll just be another year and I would have been happy to spend it like any other day because the only significance to me about a birthday is that its the start of one's life. Furthermore I see no significance in the age 21. Does the Bible say anything about young man and woman turning 21? NO! its a custom, tradition, a practice that people in this generation have that says you earn your right as an adult and the key to your life is presented to you(in a metaphorical sense). Guess what I've long earned that right though not all might agree and it is definitely NOT earn by the number of years you live. My father have long given me free reign. With guidance of course. So to me it means nothing to me that I'm turning 21 other then that fact that I'm older now.

I simply cannot understand why have a celebration if it was never intended to celebrate? Why say its for my birthday when the point is not about me(Not that I want it to be)? Why do you suggest it when you have absolutely no intentions of helping in any way? I had thought that the idea of a birthday celebration is to celebrate the life of a person, to make him/her happy. Apparently not in my case. I was not only unhappy but unloved, dejected and used. WHY DO I HAVE TO PLAN MY OWN BIRTHDAY, PAY FOR MY OWN BIRTHDAY AND DO EVERY OTHER THING MYSELF WHEN I DON'T WANT IT? WHY? Alright for God you say, for my parents, fine, I'll do it which I did. I did it to the best I can, washing the place, designing and decorating the place, design the cake, name it and I had a hand in it. WHY SUGGEST WHEN YOU HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF DOING ANYTHING FOR ME? Celebrate my Birthday? hahaha it's not in the least funny.

Wishing people happy birthday made me think about people wishing me happy birthday and me trying to force out a smile. What so happy about birthdays? Other people had their parents, friends to help them plan and organize to surprise them, to make them happy? what did I get? NOTHING

So whose going to share my burden? I helped carry others but who is going to help me? Who do I have left but the Lord? But it seems even He have chosen to leave me alone or maybe its a phase of growing up. I'll choose to believe its the later. That's why we call it faith? Choosing to believe.

Lord take my hurts and replace it with your joy. Men disappoint but You do not.

Its been a hectic week having Instructor's Development Programme, Planning for Friday night for my BRO gang and For Saturday night. Sometimes don't you just wish you have a personal assistant to help you take care of certain administrative matters while you can focus on more important things like planning and so on.

Currently I feel like I'm just planning all this so that my parents will be pleased. I'm rather sure that if Aunt Sarah haven't kept asking my mum and if not for Wei Ting's Birthday, I won't be celebrating mine. Its not really for me cause if it is, why am I doing all the things? The buffet, the cake, the place, the arrangement of activities, the decorations... My celebration? For me? or for them? And in fact we're celebrating my parent's 22nd Anniversary. So yup its for them. And I in my midst of traveling up and down Jurong and Hougang almost 3 times a week is not spared from having to oversee everything and to do everything myself. I'm tired and sick of having to please people. I really cannot be very bothered anymore. =(

Anyway praise God that He have been graceful though and have provided me in terms of transport and all. Take this Wednesday, I needed to be in camp by 6 and cause of Aureole Practice the night before I have to sleep at home. I'll have to wake up at 5 to catch a cab. There's no way of catching apublic transport and still being on time. Whats more I have to go get my equipment and gears from my bunk which is a far off place from my office, where we're supposed to gather. BUt Praise God, He arranged for my dad to go to Jurong for live firining that day. So not only do I not need to wake up that early but also get a free ride. On top of that he drove me to my bunk pick up my gear and drove me to my office! Of course I give thanks for having a great dad whose willing to do all these for me as well but you can't deny that God is good. =) A great natural father and a Great Heavenly father, well guess I have less to complain than I think I have.

Lord, I pray that you will help ease the trouble in my heart and see that it's alright to plan all the things by myself. Its preparing me to plan for greater events. I need all the exposure and experience that I can get. Whats more I have a group of Bros who will stick by me to help me on Sat. They may not be believers but they I believe they will one day see that you are not just a far off God. You're my Father and their Father. Father, I'm thankful for all that you've done for me all this time. The past 21 years. I may not have known you for a very long time but definitely You've known me for all my life. You're the one who formed me in your image and has blessed me richly. I've experienced life and seen enough to know briefly how I should and want to live my life. I just ask that you'll reveal more Wisdom through your word that I may live my life wisely, righteously, pleasing in your sight. Help me always to see the bright side of things and choose to oversee the negative side. In Jesus's name, Amen!