How to Conquer a Secret Thought Life....written by Patrick Morley & David Delk
Almost every man struggles with the temptation of secret sin. Lust, bitterness, pornography, anger, selfishness all of us have private areas where we are especially vulnerable. Many men fight against these sins for years without significant change. Why is overcoming secret sin so difficult?
THE ISSUES OF VISIBILITY AND AWARENESS
I would rather go to jail than be seen in a bar. Frankly, the reasons are not spiritual, but selfish. I don't want my reputation to be tarnished, so I categorically avoid bars. This has less to do with what Jesus might think than what my friends might think.
The visibility of our speech and actions helps us keep these in line. Visibility brings a certain level of self-discipline. We all want to get along with others and have a good reputation, and these ambitions keep us in check.
In contrast, the low visibility of our private thought life has no peer pressure, no accountability, only self-discipline and dependence upon the Spirit. What is the result of low visibility? We lead a secret thought life, often unruly, which we would find embarrassing for others to know about.
Low awareness sins are blind spots such as pride, resentment, bitterness, and envy. These low awareness areas are fierce battlegrounds in our minds. The Psalmist inquires, "Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults … Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression" (Psalm 19:12-13). You can't beat an enemy you don't see.
THE VISIBILITY/AWARENESS CONNECTION
This figure shows the relationship between visibility and awareness. Visibility is oriented to the external world "others" while awareness is oriented to the internal world "me."
In general, the more visible a sin, the easier it is to control. Before I received the Lord, every other word had four letters imaginatively arranged. I became acutely aware of the sinfulness of this coarse language because of its high visibility. In contrast, my ambition to control my own destiny without anyone's help, including God's, escaped my awareness for many years, aided and abetted by its low visibility.
While the visibility of some sins motivates us to change, we can't change things of which we are not aware. Awareness of sin depends upon the degree to which we are leading an unexamined life. An increasing sensitivity and awareness of sin helps us stop sinning.
Let's look at what happens when visibility and awareness are combined.
High Visibility/High Awareness - These sins are the most blatant - sins that anyone (even the nonbeliever) would recognize as wrong. Notice how our high visibility sins are usually sins of speech and actions.
Once a friend started an affair which everyone, including his wife, knew about. He was approached by some of his friends to abandon this highly visible affair. He was very aware of what he was doing but would not stop.
High Visibility/Low Awareness - These sins are often the sins of nonbelievers, but not always. A man became a Christian, but after several years he still was known for temper tantrums at work. When approached, he said he thought it was perfectly normal to let off steam. No one had ever made him aware that anger can be a sin.
Low Visibility/High Awareness - Low visibility problems are where our secret thought life spawns itself unfettered. Every Christian man harbors some low visibility/high awareness sins. "I know my attraction to pornography is wrong, but I just can't seem to stop."
Once a friend offered to help me obtain a business loan. But when I went for his help, I couldn't get him to follow up. My feelings were wounded. I was angry beyond forgiveness, and I soon found myself bitter and resentful. I didn't have the courage to confront him, so I just festered.
I was aware of this sin in my secret thoughts, but its low visibility didn't require me to account to anyone. Finally, the conviction by the Holy Spirit became so strong that I reconciled the relationship.
Low Visibility/Low Awareness - The most sly sins of all are the low visibility/low awareness ones. Not only does no one else see it, we don't either. And since we rarely examine our lives or allow others access to our inner selves, we can be oblivious to our sinful attitudes.
Recently, I realized I am a "critiquer." I critique everything; people, buildings, cars, clothes, landscaping, colors nothing escapes the critique. That alone would be no problem, but I add to my critique a comparison to myself. So, very subtly, I put others down to make myself feel better. I was not aware of this sinful pride for many years.
HOW TO OVERCOME SECRET SIN
Here are four suggestions for overcoming secret sin:
Remember there is no "secret sin." God knows every sin we commit. We may hide our sin from others, but we can never hide our sin from God.
A pastor asked his youth, "Would you do the things in the back seat on your dates if Jesus was in the front seat? Well, he's not in the front seat he's in the back seat with you!"
Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. God is with us, even when we commit secret sin. We should fear God more than men. "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell" (Mat 10:28).
Look at the end of the road that you have started down in your secret sin. No one who commits adultery leaves home in the morning a happily married man and suddenly decides to sleep with a stranger. No one is a satisfied employee one minute and the next decides to embezzle thousands from his company. Adultery usually begins when a man develops emotional ties with a woman who is not his wife. Embezzlement comes after long periods of bitterness, lack of contentment, and greed.
You may think your secret sin is minor, but where will it lead in a month, six months, five years? Secret sins are like an addiction it inevitably takes more and more to satisfy our cravings. Like a river rushing towards a waterfall, secret sins gather strength the farther we go downstream.
When Satan tempts us, he offers the bait but hides the hook. Momentary pleasure can become bitter for eternity. If you are involved in secret sin, consider if the short-term pleasure is worth the long-term consequences.
Confess your sin to an accountability partner as well as anyone you have sinned against. "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Secret sin is particularly enticing because it is hidden from other people.
Letting someone in on our secret helps stop private sin in its tracks. If you have been involved with pornography, find an appropriate time and confess your sin to your wife. This may be hard she will be angry or hurt or both, but honesty can bring healing in your relationship.
Typically, we don't want to let anyone in on our secret sins because we are ashamed. Allowing shame to control us gives in to the propaganda of the devil. Everyone knows I am a sinner no one will be surprised. And they know the evil of which I am capable, because they know their own hearts.
Knowing God has forgiven even our secret sins can free us to overcome our shame and confess these sins to appropriate people. This can be a liberating experience, as if a heavy burden were removed from our backs. A word of caution prayerfully consider to whom and what sins you will confess. Making yourself vulnerable always involves risk, so use wisdom and discretion. Still, this accountability brings visibility and feedback that empowers us to stand firm.
Avoid situations where you will be tempted to secret sin. "Flee youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). You can't drown in the sea if your feet don't get in the water. And you won't be tempted to get in if you never go to the beach.
If you struggle with pornography, don't linger near the magazine racks. If you travel, ask the front desk to turn off access to the pornographic movies in your hotel room. If you have a problem with bitterness and greed, don't be the one to take the company's deposit to the bank.
This is not a call for legalistic rule making; rather we should set wise standards that help us avoid temptation. Make concrete decisions about the places you will go and the things you will do. Share these standards with someone and ask for help in sticking to them.
CONCLUSION
The goal of our secret thought life should be to be holy as He is holy. We must be ruthless in dealing with secret sin and take drastic measures to root it out of our lives "…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1). May God empower you to win the battles you face.
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Monday, 22 August 2011
What I thought was a good speech
DON'T WORK. BE HATED. LOVE SOMEONE.
----- Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008. -----
I must say thank you to... the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband. My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me. On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife. And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you. The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning. You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers. The good news is that they’re wrong. The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy. I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life. You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap. Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom. So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy. I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much. That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste. If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average. LIFE'S A MESS What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate. Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows. What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over. Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO GET A JOB. INSTEAD, PLAY. The most important is this: do not work. Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust. There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful. People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense. Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway. Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself. I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist. So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher. Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working. Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence. In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror. BE HATED. I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross. One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong. LOVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. The other side of the coin is this: fall in love. I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable. Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul. Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm. You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you. Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it. Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
----- Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008. -----
I must say thank you to... the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband. My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me. On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife. And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you. The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning. You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers. The good news is that they’re wrong. The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy. I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life. You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap. Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom. So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy. I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much. That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste. If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average. LIFE'S A MESS What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate. Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows. What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over. Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO GET A JOB. INSTEAD, PLAY. The most important is this: do not work. Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust. There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful. People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense. Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway. Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself. I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist. So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher. Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working. Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence. In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror. BE HATED. I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross. One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong. LOVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. The other side of the coin is this: fall in love. I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable. Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul. Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm. You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you. Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it. Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
The Lord Spoke!
I was just wondering and in fact was about to rebut/defend myself when I read this:
Stepping Back
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. —Proverbs 20:3
The Proverbs in Scripture are like excellent spiritual beef jerky. You take small bites and you chew on them for a long time. Meditating on Proverbs is life-training in the most practical ways. For example: Proverbs 20:3 says “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” Honor here is that which is weighty or substantive: integrity; character; worthy of respect.
Do you want respect? Good. It is an honor, or it is worthy of respect, for a man to keep aloof. The word aloof here is the Hebrew word Shabbat. It’s actually the root word from which we get our word Sabbath. Sabbath means to cease, to desist, to rest. “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife . . . ” This means he will not join the fray; not when attacked, not even to defend himself. He will keep himself aloof.
This does not mean aloof emotionally, but aloof from . . . Do you know what? “I’m not going to get into that. I’m going to step away from this argument.” You are doing your family a favor when you maintain a sense of perspective.
I taught this verse a few years ago at church. A week or two after the sermon, one couple came up to me all smiling and happy-faced. They told me they had really taken this to heart. Like a lot of couples, they admitted to certain habitual conflicts. And they laughingly said, “We had a fight this week!” The husband continued, “Yeah. We were arguing and I was trying too hard to make my point.” She added, “He was trying to goad me into the fight, but I remembered that verse you taught us in Proverbs. So I said to him, ‘I aloof you!’ It took a moment, but we both started laughing!” Talk about detouring an argument! Isn’t that great? “I aloof you!” It worked; they seemed so happy.
There’s honor in standing aloof from meaningless strife. “We’re better than this. We have way bigger dreams than this. Let’s figure this out rather than fighting it out.” “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”
Journal
What difference would this Proverb make in the way I currently handle conflict in my family?
How would I describe the signs of healthy versus unhealthy “aloofness”?
Prayer
Thank You, Father, for the pithy wisdom of Proverbs. You’ve graciously given us so much to chew on! Help me to move beyond thinking about these matters to the point of faithfully applying them in my relationships. And give me wisdom in those moments when I usually step into a fight to make the decision to step back, out of honor for Your Word as well as putting honor into practice. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This is the wisdom I've been praying for so I guess I should consciously practice it. I can do it =)
Stepping Back
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. —Proverbs 20:3
The Proverbs in Scripture are like excellent spiritual beef jerky. You take small bites and you chew on them for a long time. Meditating on Proverbs is life-training in the most practical ways. For example: Proverbs 20:3 says “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” Honor here is that which is weighty or substantive: integrity; character; worthy of respect.
Do you want respect? Good. It is an honor, or it is worthy of respect, for a man to keep aloof. The word aloof here is the Hebrew word Shabbat. It’s actually the root word from which we get our word Sabbath. Sabbath means to cease, to desist, to rest. “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife . . . ” This means he will not join the fray; not when attacked, not even to defend himself. He will keep himself aloof.
This does not mean aloof emotionally, but aloof from . . . Do you know what? “I’m not going to get into that. I’m going to step away from this argument.” You are doing your family a favor when you maintain a sense of perspective.
I taught this verse a few years ago at church. A week or two after the sermon, one couple came up to me all smiling and happy-faced. They told me they had really taken this to heart. Like a lot of couples, they admitted to certain habitual conflicts. And they laughingly said, “We had a fight this week!” The husband continued, “Yeah. We were arguing and I was trying too hard to make my point.” She added, “He was trying to goad me into the fight, but I remembered that verse you taught us in Proverbs. So I said to him, ‘I aloof you!’ It took a moment, but we both started laughing!” Talk about detouring an argument! Isn’t that great? “I aloof you!” It worked; they seemed so happy.
There’s honor in standing aloof from meaningless strife. “We’re better than this. We have way bigger dreams than this. Let’s figure this out rather than fighting it out.” “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”
Journal
What difference would this Proverb make in the way I currently handle conflict in my family?
How would I describe the signs of healthy versus unhealthy “aloofness”?
Prayer
Thank You, Father, for the pithy wisdom of Proverbs. You’ve graciously given us so much to chew on! Help me to move beyond thinking about these matters to the point of faithfully applying them in my relationships. And give me wisdom in those moments when I usually step into a fight to make the decision to step back, out of honor for Your Word as well as putting honor into practice. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This is the wisdom I've been praying for so I guess I should consciously practice it. I can do it =)
Sunday, 31 July 2011
YOUTH MINISTRY - ABLAZE! Ephesians 2:10
I am so glad that I went for youth today and got touched by the love of God. I just want to share and to encourage all that is out there that God does love you unconditionally and there is nothing that can seperate you from His love.
There's this video we watch and here's the link
http://www.skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel/?/store/detail/188/
I was halfway into the video and tears started to well up. Its as if God was speaking specifically to me. oh wait, not as if. He was and still is speaking to me about it. I am touched by His unfailling love. I am moved by His unfailling love. So much so after watching another testimony video, what God spoke to me struck so hard that when I prayed, I cried. I cried in front of everyone that was there. It was not that I'm comfortable with them but I am comfortable with God. I know that He has been there with me through all my tough times and there is not an exception. He will always be and no matter how much I disappoint Him, He will always love me and continue to chisel at me.
So to you that's reading He will continually work on you, His workmanship and masterpiece. He will continue to chisel away and its going to hurt but He knows best so TRUST Him. Always remember that He does it cause He loves you.
There's this video we watch and here's the link
http://www.skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel/?/store/detail/188/
I was halfway into the video and tears started to well up. Its as if God was speaking specifically to me. oh wait, not as if. He was and still is speaking to me about it. I am touched by His unfailling love. I am moved by His unfailling love. So much so after watching another testimony video, what God spoke to me struck so hard that when I prayed, I cried. I cried in front of everyone that was there. It was not that I'm comfortable with them but I am comfortable with God. I know that He has been there with me through all my tough times and there is not an exception. He will always be and no matter how much I disappoint Him, He will always love me and continue to chisel at me.
So to you that's reading He will continually work on you, His workmanship and masterpiece. He will continue to chisel away and its going to hurt but He knows best so TRUST Him. Always remember that He does it cause He loves you.
Saturday, 25 June 2011
Evaluation of my life
Recently, things haven't gone well for me. Relationship issues, Work, practically everything is running out of my control and I seem to be in a mess. It seems like I'm going in a cycle of hurt and disappointment in myself and its ever so vicious.
I just really want to make a commitment to really focus and get my life in order again. My mind is so filled with thoughts and so cluttered my words aren't even coherent...
I just really need to throw up all that is within. To put everything on paper and then from there sort them out.
I just hope I can really put things into order before I embark on my university studies in UniSIM. It's my chance of redeeming myself for not doing well for my A's. I really want to prove and make my Dad proud. I have been such a disappointment to have allowed myself to be overly arrogant and prideful. I was distracted and focused on other things but it was the arrogance and pride that I had within myself that told myself I'll be able to catch up that got me in that mess so LEARN from it.
I find myself ever so selfish, defensive and deceitful sometimes. I am not perfect and I know it. There's so much of me that needs to change.
Change is hard inside of me!
I just hope and pray that the Lord will never give up on me and to continue to do His work inside of me. To mould me and to make me into His likeness.
Dear Heavenly Father, I wonder what would you have me do with my life. What would you want me to deal with and how do you want me to deal with it? I do seek to please you but how do I go about doing so? Lord guide me and show me. I am confused. I am lost. I just hope you'll open up my eyes to see what You have in store for me.
I just really want to make a commitment to really focus and get my life in order again. My mind is so filled with thoughts and so cluttered my words aren't even coherent...
I just really need to throw up all that is within. To put everything on paper and then from there sort them out.
I just hope I can really put things into order before I embark on my university studies in UniSIM. It's my chance of redeeming myself for not doing well for my A's. I really want to prove and make my Dad proud. I have been such a disappointment to have allowed myself to be overly arrogant and prideful. I was distracted and focused on other things but it was the arrogance and pride that I had within myself that told myself I'll be able to catch up that got me in that mess so LEARN from it.
I find myself ever so selfish, defensive and deceitful sometimes. I am not perfect and I know it. There's so much of me that needs to change.
Change is hard inside of me!
I just hope and pray that the Lord will never give up on me and to continue to do His work inside of me. To mould me and to make me into His likeness.
Dear Heavenly Father, I wonder what would you have me do with my life. What would you want me to deal with and how do you want me to deal with it? I do seek to please you but how do I go about doing so? Lord guide me and show me. I am confused. I am lost. I just hope you'll open up my eyes to see what You have in store for me.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Father's Heart
I woke up to this song playing and I am encouraged.
I have been avoiding and shunning God for the past week feeling that I have once again disappointed Him.
I just thought that I don't think I deserve anymore of His Grace, His love and Him... I just don't understand how I can continually fail and yet He still loves me. Perhaps thats why we can never fathom the depth of His love for us. So deep He sent His only begotten son on the cross for us.
I want to turn over a new leaf and start all over again but how many times must I start all over? I don't want to go in this relentless cycle and be discouraged.
Paul advised that if we want different results, then we will have to change the process. If we keep doing the same thing, we'll just end up having the same results. Simple logic but yet how many of us are trapped in our own vicious cycle of comfort, comfort of miseries.
Do something different. Lord Help Me!
I have been avoiding and shunning God for the past week feeling that I have once again disappointed Him.
I just thought that I don't think I deserve anymore of His Grace, His love and Him... I just don't understand how I can continually fail and yet He still loves me. Perhaps thats why we can never fathom the depth of His love for us. So deep He sent His only begotten son on the cross for us.
I want to turn over a new leaf and start all over again but how many times must I start all over? I don't want to go in this relentless cycle and be discouraged.
Paul advised that if we want different results, then we will have to change the process. If we keep doing the same thing, we'll just end up having the same results. Simple logic but yet how many of us are trapped in our own vicious cycle of comfort, comfort of miseries.
Do something different. Lord Help Me!
Friday, 15 April 2011
Worship!
Worship is an intimate moment of awe, adoration n deepest admiration 4 God who loves us so unconditionally.
It is not to be adulterated;
it's a public display of affection to God which will cost us ridicule fr people of the flesh;
however,David, a man after God's heart, claimed tt he wouldn't give unto God what didn't cost him.
As a disciple, we must b willing 2 lay d cost of self-denial n denial fr d world to seek God who is seeking 4 'true worsippers who worship Him in spirit n truth' like d woman who sacrificially anointed Jesus' dusty feet w d perfume oil( to be reserved 4 her wedding; her all n best) w her hair, d most glorious part of woman(1Cor12:15). Our Lord promised tt her act of worship will b a memorial thru out the world(Matt26:13). - Aunt Sarah
Worship is an art and until we learn how to dwell in His presence and focus on Him, our hearts and mind will drift evening when we're singing songs of praise to Him.
It's more then an act of singing song, but every moment can be an act of worship. How we choose to live our life can be a form of worship unto Him. He deserves it. Are we willing to give our best to Him?
It is not to be adulterated;
it's a public display of affection to God which will cost us ridicule fr people of the flesh;
however,David, a man after God's heart, claimed tt he wouldn't give unto God what didn't cost him.
As a disciple, we must b willing 2 lay d cost of self-denial n denial fr d world to seek God who is seeking 4 'true worsippers who worship Him in spirit n truth' like d woman who sacrificially anointed Jesus' dusty feet w d perfume oil( to be reserved 4 her wedding; her all n best) w her hair, d most glorious part of woman(1Cor12:15). Our Lord promised tt her act of worship will b a memorial thru out the world(Matt26:13). - Aunt Sarah
Worship is an art and until we learn how to dwell in His presence and focus on Him, our hearts and mind will drift evening when we're singing songs of praise to Him.
It's more then an act of singing song, but every moment can be an act of worship. How we choose to live our life can be a form of worship unto Him. He deserves it. Are we willing to give our best to Him?
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Taking God for Granted
I have always thought humans are cheap cause we take things for granted ever so easily. What we have in abundant we take for granted. What we have all the time we take for granted is going to stay. We take everything for granted but I have come to a realization that there is someone that everyone takes for granted and yet He still loves us all the same. Ironically thats the reason why we take Him for granted.
I have felt like I was taken for granted at times. Having to serve when called upon or to even sacrifice as and when called upon. I was looking to the Lord for comfort while traveling on the bus when the Lord impressed upon me that isn't that how we've been treating Him. Alright alright, its how I have been treating Him. When I have the company of people or loved ones, He takes 2nd place. I don't regularly seek Him especially not when I'm having fun or when I'm taking pleasure in satisfying my flesh.
I was upset over how I was only called upon when there's trouble or problems and I was reminded that haven't I treated Him that way. Why do we take His grace for granted? Why do we take what He have done on the cross for us for granted? Of all things how could we? Yet do not all man kind do? And I can almost guarantee I will continue to do so though less deliberately.
Doubts fill us and the flesh is weak. Sometimes our faith is just not strong enough and we fail. But then can we in all this failure learn to seek Him and make a more conscientious effort to have a continual conversation and to build on our relationship with Him? I guess ultimately He knows we will always fail but it is our hearts He is searching after and when one man turns back and praise God, did not the word of God says the Heaven rejoices? Rejoice then for I am turning back to Praise God in my circumstances. =)
Dear Father Lord, even as I reflect about my suffering or the suffering of loved ones, let me turn to you and remember that You watched your Son suffer. What can be compared to what He suffered? We may never stop asking where were You when bad things happen but ultimately we trust you have a reason. We trust you have a plan. We trust that you are sovereign. We try to trust. Lord help us in our unbelief and help us in our weakness. I pray that you will impress upon my heart the importance of securing my life in you that I might come to understand better. Let me trust in your character! HELP ME LORD!!!
I have felt like I was taken for granted at times. Having to serve when called upon or to even sacrifice as and when called upon. I was looking to the Lord for comfort while traveling on the bus when the Lord impressed upon me that isn't that how we've been treating Him. Alright alright, its how I have been treating Him. When I have the company of people or loved ones, He takes 2nd place. I don't regularly seek Him especially not when I'm having fun or when I'm taking pleasure in satisfying my flesh.
I was upset over how I was only called upon when there's trouble or problems and I was reminded that haven't I treated Him that way. Why do we take His grace for granted? Why do we take what He have done on the cross for us for granted? Of all things how could we? Yet do not all man kind do? And I can almost guarantee I will continue to do so though less deliberately.
Doubts fill us and the flesh is weak. Sometimes our faith is just not strong enough and we fail. But then can we in all this failure learn to seek Him and make a more conscientious effort to have a continual conversation and to build on our relationship with Him? I guess ultimately He knows we will always fail but it is our hearts He is searching after and when one man turns back and praise God, did not the word of God says the Heaven rejoices? Rejoice then for I am turning back to Praise God in my circumstances. =)
Dear Father Lord, even as I reflect about my suffering or the suffering of loved ones, let me turn to you and remember that You watched your Son suffer. What can be compared to what He suffered? We may never stop asking where were You when bad things happen but ultimately we trust you have a reason. We trust you have a plan. We trust that you are sovereign. We try to trust. Lord help us in our unbelief and help us in our weakness. I pray that you will impress upon my heart the importance of securing my life in you that I might come to understand better. Let me trust in your character! HELP ME LORD!!!
Sunday, 27 March 2011
The Healing hand of God.
It may not be a huge testimony But I thought God should still get the Honour and Glory!
Yeows sprained his ankle while playing basketball with me yesterday. And unfortunately I was part of the cause. He landed on my leg and he got hurt. We were told by the Chinese Sinseh that there was a 50% of a fracture and so we went to TTSH A&E. That was where I got the impression to pray for him. I did and I thank God that it was just a sprain and should heal within a week.
I just want to thank God.
Furthermore, I think God deserves my praise for being there for me at my darkest hours. He have been healing me and helping me cope with all that is going on with my life. I just want to thank YOU LORD!!!
Lord I pray that your presence be ever stronger in my life. I want to live for you and be able to live out your presence in my life. I recognize that I am imperfect and am a work in progress under You. I hope that you would continue to show me your presence more strongly and tangibly in my life. In Jesus' Name, I thank you!
Yeows sprained his ankle while playing basketball with me yesterday. And unfortunately I was part of the cause. He landed on my leg and he got hurt. We were told by the Chinese Sinseh that there was a 50% of a fracture and so we went to TTSH A&E. That was where I got the impression to pray for him. I did and I thank God that it was just a sprain and should heal within a week.
I just want to thank God.
Furthermore, I think God deserves my praise for being there for me at my darkest hours. He have been healing me and helping me cope with all that is going on with my life. I just want to thank YOU LORD!!!
Lord I pray that your presence be ever stronger in my life. I want to live for you and be able to live out your presence in my life. I recognize that I am imperfect and am a work in progress under You. I hope that you would continue to show me your presence more strongly and tangibly in my life. In Jesus' Name, I thank you!
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Self discovery
Today I had to go through and plan for AOP. It's something I haven't done for a very long time. In fact I seldom had much practice on it so was pretty nervous and anxious. What made it memorable was how 'professional' we were. I got to agree I was not really putting alot of effort but did try. I felt like I did most or all the work. Not true but thats how I felt. In any case I got humiliated too cause of the poor standard which I thought wasn't my fault. There was a moment that I tried to defend myself and then I caught myself. I guess its an image we all want to protray but its not as easy as it is. Protraying the image we want? ... Its just impossible. If some of us had a choice, I guess we wont be seen by others like how we are. But its a true eye opener to have some self discovery and at the same time exposure. I have so much more to learn and develop. More like you JESUS! =)
Friday, 18 March 2011
Appreciation
How often to we feel unappreciated, not recognized and simply ignored? I bet its something that happens to everyone at some point of time.
The truth is this people are selfish and we look out for ourselves and we yearn for appreciation of ourselves but in doing so we focus on ourselves and as such we are unable to appreciate others around us.
The fact that we need to feel appreciated is because it is what we base our self worth on. We need validation from others and when others appreciate us, we feel good and know we are valued. But like I've mentioned above, human kinds are selfish, few and seldom do we get appreciated or recognized for our efforts. Hence the need for self validation. we got to recognize our own efforts and encourage ourselves. Knowing within our hearts of heart itself that we have done the right thing, done the best that we can, should be encouragement enough to push us in the right direction even if people do not give us a pat on the back.
I dont know what you would gather from this but always do the right thing despite not being appreciated is something that I thought is of great value. of course there might be many other thoughts on these idea but lets keep it short. =)
The truth is this people are selfish and we look out for ourselves and we yearn for appreciation of ourselves but in doing so we focus on ourselves and as such we are unable to appreciate others around us.
The fact that we need to feel appreciated is because it is what we base our self worth on. We need validation from others and when others appreciate us, we feel good and know we are valued. But like I've mentioned above, human kinds are selfish, few and seldom do we get appreciated or recognized for our efforts. Hence the need for self validation. we got to recognize our own efforts and encourage ourselves. Knowing within our hearts of heart itself that we have done the right thing, done the best that we can, should be encouragement enough to push us in the right direction even if people do not give us a pat on the back.
I dont know what you would gather from this but always do the right thing despite not being appreciated is something that I thought is of great value. of course there might be many other thoughts on these idea but lets keep it short. =)
Friday, 11 March 2011
LUKE 18:9-14
This week's Manna, we shared on Luke 18:9-14.
Luke 18:9-14 (New International Version, ©2011)
The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
We're focusing on the importance of prayer this month and this week the idea is our attitude and how we should pray. This verse speaks loudly to me cause pride has always been a great hurdle in my life and self righteousness is definitely part of who I am now. I have to confess and I pray that as I write and consciously work on seeking the Lord and His righteousness, my pride and self righteousness will be replaced with His humility and grace =)
I dont know how many of you see it this way but do you ever watch the news, read the news paper about someone who have created a heinous crime and we get disgusted at the person and we think to ourselves we're better then him/her? I confess that I do. In fact, day to day, I make comparisons with others or even sins of others and tell myself that I didn't commit a sin greater then he/she did hence making me more righteous. It's subconscious but I know this delusion and falsehood resides in my mind. Having read this passage, the Lord expose this and is showing me what I also know and have read in the Bible.
Paul clearly states that(let me find the verses and get back)
1) There is no one more righteous then the other,
2) Our righteousness is a gift and was never by our works so how could we say/think we are more righteous then anyone else,
3) We are all equal in that we have all fallen short of His glory.
4) If you have sinned, you have sinned, it doesn't matter what sin.
This is where humility comes in. Noticed that if we have believed what Paul have taught then we could never pray the prayer that the Pharisee pray.
1) We will never put others down cause we should/will lift them up in love
2) Comparisons like that should never be made about how one is more righteous
3) He justify himself by his deeds but the truth is our righteousness is the gift of GOD. Not by works but by faith.
Notice that Jesus is speaking to people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and view others with contempt. What can I say more? Lets consciously work on not falling into this group. Let our trust be in the Lord on what He have done, not what we have done. Let us also uphold one another especially in the body of Christ instead of looking down on anyone.
Yesterday Kor Mark also made a point about how we ought to treat others who persecute us. True humility would not just be us being able to see others who have not sinned against us as equals but to even those who have. Humility is practiced when we forgive and when we pray for those who persecute you. When we are able to see those that have failed or sin as equals is one stage/level of learning humility. the next stage/level is when you are still able to see them a equals and love them, praying and forgiving when they persecute/sin against you.
Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner! I admit that I have failed You in so many ways but yet Your amazing grace and love ever envelops and surround me, tugging at my heart to recognize that You still desire for me to be in Your Kingdom, to be Your son, your friend... Father I recognize that I have done nothing to deserve what you have given me and that nothing I do can ever justify or made right what I did wrong. It is only by the Blood of Your Son, our Lord and Saviour, Jesus! His righteousness is what cloths us and allow us to commune with you! Lord teach us your people humility and that we might exemplify true humility to this world that trust in themselves. What an important value humility is. HUMBLE ME LORD!
Sunday, 6 March 2011
A tough week
Its been an unfruitful week and to think Pst just preached on being fruitful and not busy. Wasn't either of them. Had somehow been procrastinating and putting off what I can do now till later, constantly finding excuses and so on. Wonder what happened to the initiative and the passion for Life and God. Lord refresh and light up that fire within me.
There are however a few thoughts that I thought I'll share.
What do you think about vulgarities/profanities?
Sounds really controversial now and well even if it does I think its something that's highly prevalent in our society and unfortunately in the Armed Forces no matter which nation you're in. Generally perceived as something 'wrong' and should be avoided, some have taken all liberty with 'them'. Is there really a need for such crude language?
Personally I think in all aspects of life it is something to be avoided. There are no benefits to it and only serves to 'pollute' the minds of young people and giving permission to our burst of anger.
Anger is highly associated with them and I think most who use profanities have poor self mastery hence unable to control their mouth and emotions.
The Bible also clearly states, how can we with our mouth curse and praise at the same time? So it seems pretty clear there is no case and space for vulgarities.
HOWEVER with all that said, may I share an experience?
I have used the 'F' word before and under a circumstance that I thought reasonable and perhaps why the existant of profanities. It happened like this:
We were conducting an exercise and live rounds were used. It was dangerous and safety was emphasized to trainees that their technical handling and their obedience in following orders is paramount to not causing freak accidents.
It so happened that there was this trainee that I was watching over that not only did not handle his weapon properly but also pose a danger of his cadet. I was trying to be patient and made certain that he resolved the problem and try to follow instructions when he commit the same mistake again. I gave it to him this time not wanting to compromise on the seriousness of the situation. It was so loud and as I was one that have been known never to use vulgarities, my colleagues joked that the live firing momentarily seized when I had used it on the trainee.
The point I'm trying to make here is not to justify myself but to say that the creation for vulgarities probably have a cause and I deeply believe that it is so prevalent in the military because of the context. A simple vulgarity can easily replaced many words to convey the seriousness and the significance of the mistake especially in the case of lives. To the civilian and the ladies, perhaps this might be foreign and distant but when the timing arises and circumstances do not allow us time to explain or to convey our anger/displeasure, vulgarities seem to work and have proven to work. The stress that it imposes help to reinforce what we were trying to say simply with a vulgarity.
Just to say again that I am not encouraging the use of vulgarities nor advocating their use. But to show that perhaps it can serve its purpose for what it was created for. That it is perhaps understandable for the use of it in certain circumstance. Perhaps I am shortsighted and have missed out other considerations but in all I want to say is, lets try not to use it. Lets find ways to replace them and if possible to eradicate them. Use it less often so that when it is used, people know you mean business. =p
Would sure love to hear comments and remarks on this somewhat controversial subject.
Lord show us what we can do with our lives, our deeds and words. Discipline in the use of our mouth for your praise is important and that we should never curse with it. So we dont curse the person but the action just as we dont hate the person but the action? Lord teach me and guide me. I am willing to obey if you would simply say yes or no? Or perhaps you're telling us there are certain things that you dont really mind and this is one of them? I doubt so, so speak and I believe your people will listen. =)
Friday, 25 February 2011
On duty with Joshua again
I'm on duty today and guess what with Joshua again. =) sure reminds me of the time that we were doing duty together and the things we talked about. God's divine apoointment I must say.
Unlike the other time, today I was talking to someone else instead about the things of God. through SMS which ended up rather badly so we decided to talk when we meet to address the issue.
Did I hear you ask what the issue is about? Well it started like this:
Was 911 the judgement of God?
Did God allow the killings and the death of all that took place in the wars?
Well I think the question is one that asks aloud DID GOD ALLOW ALL THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED?
Can you take the truth? There's only 2 options to this questions and I will let you decide.
1) Yes He allowed it.
Or
2) Nope, He did not allow it and it still happened anyway.
Lets look at 1), So He allowed it? Sounds absurb that a Good God would allow murder, terrorism, war, rape, abuse, the list goes on even at this very minute as I type, to happen right? But what if I told you all this is due to Free Will? Freedom of choice? Man's doing. The simple truth. An excuse?
2) God should be all powerful, no? So if He did not allow it how did it happen? Powerless God still a God? Sovereign? definitely not then since He got no power as to what happen to us or in this world. So whose controlling all that and allowing them to happen? Shouldn't that (supposedly bad) someone be God instead?
You know we read about Job, a biblical character that was tested by God and Satan. God allowed it. if He chose all this things to happen, are you treating Him as God or are you just expecting yourself to be treated like a god?
Its late, I'll continue tml =)
Unlike the other time, today I was talking to someone else instead about the things of God. through SMS which ended up rather badly so we decided to talk when we meet to address the issue.
Did I hear you ask what the issue is about? Well it started like this:
Was 911 the judgement of God?
Did God allow the killings and the death of all that took place in the wars?
Well I think the question is one that asks aloud DID GOD ALLOW ALL THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED?
Can you take the truth? There's only 2 options to this questions and I will let you decide.
1) Yes He allowed it.
Or
2) Nope, He did not allow it and it still happened anyway.
Lets look at 1), So He allowed it? Sounds absurb that a Good God would allow murder, terrorism, war, rape, abuse, the list goes on even at this very minute as I type, to happen right? But what if I told you all this is due to Free Will? Freedom of choice? Man's doing. The simple truth. An excuse?
2) God should be all powerful, no? So if He did not allow it how did it happen? Powerless God still a God? Sovereign? definitely not then since He got no power as to what happen to us or in this world. So whose controlling all that and allowing them to happen? Shouldn't that (supposedly bad) someone be God instead?
You know we read about Job, a biblical character that was tested by God and Satan. God allowed it. if He chose all this things to happen, are you treating Him as God or are you just expecting yourself to be treated like a god?
Its late, I'll continue tml =)
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
A fruitful night
Yesterday night, I went to MDIS near Commonwealth to sign up for a Bio Medical degree programme offered by them. On my way there, I thought to myself why not get Ford out to have dinner together since he lives there and his studying Bio too. And so I did. He accepted readily and we went somewhere near his place to have dinner.
After the Seminar at MDIS, we decided to ask Kor Mark to come down and just chill and talk. Boy did we talk. The 3 of us together just talking and sharing. I thought it was a time well spent and really helped encouraged me to stay my course and press on in God. Its as my previous posts cries out, we may never understand why things happen the way it did. Our duty is to press on in Him and continue to seek Him. He is not just God of the good times but the bad times too and you know what it is in the bad times He will show Himself ever more strongly. Work your miracle Lord in the hearts of those that need it. Expansion from the inside out you say, Lord take our hearts!
We had such a good time, it was about 10 plus that we realized it late before we stopped. It so happened that yesterday was ladies night so I met Aunt Jenny and went back together. I think we both thank God for the company and encouragement. =) So yup a fruitful night!
Sick but Blessed!
I am down with a serious viral attack, an epidemic I believe started since January as reported in the Straits Times. Fortunate me, we don't have cadets and I am allowed to take MC and rest back home. So though I am sick I must say I am blessed to just laze around at home today doing what I like best: READ!
I just finished the 3rd book of the Trilogy, My Story consisting of A Child Called 'It', The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave. It was truly inspiring and encouraging! A book that once I picked up, found hard to put down even for toilet breaks.
It continued with how Dave being an adult grow and mature to overcome all that was in the past and walk out of the struggles he faces day to day even as an adult with the past chewing at him. I was not physically abused like him as a kid but I believe its not hard to empathize with him as I have. The lessons he brought out in his books were simple ones like the one that I had emphasized upon in my previous post about choosing to let what happened to you bring you down or act as a stepping stone. Others include giving the best one can give no matter what he/she has cause God definitely planned it and let your past go. Forgive and forget may not be easy but they are gifts that we have received and should freely give too. Definitely lessons that I am to learn from.
Lord I thank you for showing me how fortunate I am and at the same time showing me a little about the kind of future that I want to live. I know the lessons you have in this books are one that you want me to work on so continue to guide me and speak to me about this things and teach me. I like Dave give Thanks to You for You hold our lives in Your Hands and You're Sovereign. We may not understand the things that happened and are happening but we need to learn to trust, to trust in Your Goodness and Your Plans. I have seen how it worked out for Dave so Lord, like doubting Thomas, I have seen, help me in my unbelief.
Monday, 21 February 2011
Dave Pelzer, Thank God for you =)
I have been reading his books since yesterday and am I in awe of what he walked out of and accomplished despite of his past. Indeed it is a great paradox for if he had not gone through it, he might not have become what he is today.
Child abuse is so common nowadays and just today, someone beat the crap out of a 2 year old girl and killed her. I believe this are all happening as I type. It is recorded that 1 in 5 Americans have been abused as a kid.
I look back and I think about my own childhood and my desires to have kids and all that I have aqcuainted myself with. I can in someways understand why this is still present in an educated globalised world today. It is with much regret that sometimes this parents/abusers are not even aware they are abusing someone. It brings to mind the phrase "No one does what he/she thinks is wrong" We can be wrong but we just don't see it and be honest with yourself, don't we all fall into that category? We say we're doing what we perceive as RIGHT but is it right after all? Who is to say what is right and what is wrong? The consequences that follows determines it? Apparently not since good things can arise out of the negative as in Dave's case. Is it really just a game of perception and societal norms?
So often parents are caught up with their own desires to have children or their own love they get married early and have children early without being fully prepared for parenthood. This can be very upsetting when childrens lives are ruined by bad parenting. Worse, traumatised. I have loved kids all my life, adoring their innocence and the carefree spirit that they carry that is so infectious. Now I look back and laugh at my childish remarks back then at 13/14 year old to my uncle about how I dont mind getting a girl pregnant to have kids like his. How selfish and immature of me. Am I ready to carry the joy and burdens of having a kid? Not then, not now.
I am still in a stage of growing and discovering myself. Of course it would not be fair to say that I must come to a stage of truly maturing and knowing who I am and what I want for my life, answering all Life's Big questions before settling down. But it would definitely be unfair if we didnt know a thing and got ourselves enrolled before substantially preparing ourselves.
I remember that this thought came to me when I was resentful towards my parents last year: I didnt have a choice about coming into this world and they were the one who have decided to give me life so they are OBLIGATED to take care of me and make my life as pleasant as possible. A very self centred thought no doubt from the point of a child(that is still what I am) but at the same time you cannot deny the truth of it. I must admit that I am grateful I am brought into this world though. I am grateful to God who had formed me. If I were to pursue the matter, actually aren't I pinning what I said on God instead? Since God formed me and gave me life so He should be responsible for giving me a decent life? Unfortunately as we all know it, life can be a real pain sometimes.
In conclusion, like Dave, fight back your pains, your past and move on with it. Use it instead of letting it crush you down, why don't you step on it and use it as a stepping stone? You can choose to put it above you or beneath you. It boils down to a matter of choice. I think I know how I'll choose, how about you?
Thank you Lord for showing me all this and revealing yourself in this midst of chaotic thoughts. We may not understand why some things happen the way they do ever. We have only 2 choices, be it we understand or not though of course understanding could motivate us in the right directions more then lkely, and they are:
1) Choose to see it as you're just unfortunate and that you probably will be all your life so just heck it and continue to live with the negativity and respond negatively. Or
2) Choose to see it as something you have no control over, it was unfortunate no doubt but you will make the best of the situation you're caught in and learn from it. Respond with faith believing that it is with a purpose that it has happened the way it did.
Choices Choices Choices, I guess thats what You meant when You gave human kind free will, Lord. =)
Child abuse is so common nowadays and just today, someone beat the crap out of a 2 year old girl and killed her. I believe this are all happening as I type. It is recorded that 1 in 5 Americans have been abused as a kid.
I look back and I think about my own childhood and my desires to have kids and all that I have aqcuainted myself with. I can in someways understand why this is still present in an educated globalised world today. It is with much regret that sometimes this parents/abusers are not even aware they are abusing someone. It brings to mind the phrase "No one does what he/she thinks is wrong" We can be wrong but we just don't see it and be honest with yourself, don't we all fall into that category? We say we're doing what we perceive as RIGHT but is it right after all? Who is to say what is right and what is wrong? The consequences that follows determines it? Apparently not since good things can arise out of the negative as in Dave's case. Is it really just a game of perception and societal norms?
So often parents are caught up with their own desires to have children or their own love they get married early and have children early without being fully prepared for parenthood. This can be very upsetting when childrens lives are ruined by bad parenting. Worse, traumatised. I have loved kids all my life, adoring their innocence and the carefree spirit that they carry that is so infectious. Now I look back and laugh at my childish remarks back then at 13/14 year old to my uncle about how I dont mind getting a girl pregnant to have kids like his. How selfish and immature of me. Am I ready to carry the joy and burdens of having a kid? Not then, not now.
I am still in a stage of growing and discovering myself. Of course it would not be fair to say that I must come to a stage of truly maturing and knowing who I am and what I want for my life, answering all Life's Big questions before settling down. But it would definitely be unfair if we didnt know a thing and got ourselves enrolled before substantially preparing ourselves.
I remember that this thought came to me when I was resentful towards my parents last year: I didnt have a choice about coming into this world and they were the one who have decided to give me life so they are OBLIGATED to take care of me and make my life as pleasant as possible. A very self centred thought no doubt from the point of a child(that is still what I am) but at the same time you cannot deny the truth of it. I must admit that I am grateful I am brought into this world though. I am grateful to God who had formed me. If I were to pursue the matter, actually aren't I pinning what I said on God instead? Since God formed me and gave me life so He should be responsible for giving me a decent life? Unfortunately as we all know it, life can be a real pain sometimes.
In conclusion, like Dave, fight back your pains, your past and move on with it. Use it instead of letting it crush you down, why don't you step on it and use it as a stepping stone? You can choose to put it above you or beneath you. It boils down to a matter of choice. I think I know how I'll choose, how about you?
Thank you Lord for showing me all this and revealing yourself in this midst of chaotic thoughts. We may not understand why some things happen the way they do ever. We have only 2 choices, be it we understand or not though of course understanding could motivate us in the right directions more then lkely, and they are:
1) Choose to see it as you're just unfortunate and that you probably will be all your life so just heck it and continue to live with the negativity and respond negatively. Or
2) Choose to see it as something you have no control over, it was unfortunate no doubt but you will make the best of the situation you're caught in and learn from it. Respond with faith believing that it is with a purpose that it has happened the way it did.
Choices Choices Choices, I guess thats what You meant when You gave human kind free will, Lord. =)
My Mum and I
The last few days of last week was filled with my Mum and I spending some time together and I feel accomplished, not having spent much time with her for a long long time.
I don't exactly have a very close relationship with my Mum as compared to my younger bro. I am closer to my Dad. There are still some grievances and resentments deep underneath and despite how I try, there's still some distance between us. But I am trying. =)
It started with Friday evening, dinner together at home before going to the Airport to send Cheryl off. After which we went to Mannalife together. =) We didn't talk much like how I would with my Dad but still we caught up with one another's life and just accompany one another.
Then on Saturday, My Mum took me out to watch 'Homecoming' at Dhoby Ghaut. Wait I think I took her out =p Just my Mum and I. It have been very long since we went out like that. In fact our family never do. We're practical people especially with my Dad and so trips out has a mission to them. Building relationships never really was on their agenda perhaps until recently. It was a great movie emphasizing on family relations and special occasions when the family gets together. Contrary to what Jack Neo was associated with recently in the medias, it was a good family orientated movie and I liked it. It felt rather wierd and awkward though sometimes feeling like others view us as having a 'cougar' relationship rather then a mother son one. Think I'm overly conscious.
Sunday was spent with Mum following us to Church supposedly for the last time since she found work and will be working on Weekend mornings. It was also kind of wierd and awkward for me but I was glad she came. I hope she understood some of the things Pastor Steven Das said and that God will help her with her life.
Lord I commit my Mum into your hands. Lord I ask for your love to envelop her and remind her at all times that you're with her even though her husband and sons are not. You're her provider and she has nothing to worry about. There is no need for fear that she will not be taken care of or that she has insufficient money. Let her hope not be cast on money or anyone but YOU! Only You will be able to filled the void inside of her. Help her see what she needs to do to make her life fruitful and meaningful. She still have a good 30 years to live and she can accomplish yet alot more if she so chooses so Lord open her eyes to this fact and bless her. Make her prosperous in her heart and mind. Lord restore her health by helping her watch her diet and her activities. Encourage her to exercise and be fruitful. Lord use me as a mouth piece as you see fit. Help me to speak with respect and yet in a manner honouring her as my Mother even as I grapple with past issues. Lord you're the one who have given both of us one another so show us what you would have us do with one another. In Jesus' name, Amen!
I don't exactly have a very close relationship with my Mum as compared to my younger bro. I am closer to my Dad. There are still some grievances and resentments deep underneath and despite how I try, there's still some distance between us. But I am trying. =)
It started with Friday evening, dinner together at home before going to the Airport to send Cheryl off. After which we went to Mannalife together. =) We didn't talk much like how I would with my Dad but still we caught up with one another's life and just accompany one another.
Then on Saturday, My Mum took me out to watch 'Homecoming' at Dhoby Ghaut. Wait I think I took her out =p Just my Mum and I. It have been very long since we went out like that. In fact our family never do. We're practical people especially with my Dad and so trips out has a mission to them. Building relationships never really was on their agenda perhaps until recently. It was a great movie emphasizing on family relations and special occasions when the family gets together. Contrary to what Jack Neo was associated with recently in the medias, it was a good family orientated movie and I liked it. It felt rather wierd and awkward though sometimes feeling like others view us as having a 'cougar' relationship rather then a mother son one. Think I'm overly conscious.
Sunday was spent with Mum following us to Church supposedly for the last time since she found work and will be working on Weekend mornings. It was also kind of wierd and awkward for me but I was glad she came. I hope she understood some of the things Pastor Steven Das said and that God will help her with her life.
Lord I commit my Mum into your hands. Lord I ask for your love to envelop her and remind her at all times that you're with her even though her husband and sons are not. You're her provider and she has nothing to worry about. There is no need for fear that she will not be taken care of or that she has insufficient money. Let her hope not be cast on money or anyone but YOU! Only You will be able to filled the void inside of her. Help her see what she needs to do to make her life fruitful and meaningful. She still have a good 30 years to live and she can accomplish yet alot more if she so chooses so Lord open her eyes to this fact and bless her. Make her prosperous in her heart and mind. Lord restore her health by helping her watch her diet and her activities. Encourage her to exercise and be fruitful. Lord use me as a mouth piece as you see fit. Help me to speak with respect and yet in a manner honouring her as my Mother even as I grapple with past issues. Lord you're the one who have given both of us one another so show us what you would have us do with one another. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Monday, 14 February 2011
BREAKTHROUGH!
Finally! A breakthrough in the Spirit!
Initially as I worship, play and sing to 'Beautiful Saviour', it feels so routine and dry but I told myself to press on and for the longest time that I've not been touched or teared for so long, I FINALLY DID!
It just feels so good to let it out. It may not have been alot nor for very long but its a start.
For some background information, its very rare that you would see me cry. Some male ego issue I guess thats subconscious. But it becomes very natural for me to do so in front of the Lord even during service when there's lots of people. I just feel free with the Lord, He knows me and whats bothering me after all.
Its been a while too since I wanted to let out whats been surpressed inside of me, the pain and hurts that I do not talk about. Its just great to be able to let it out infront of God.
Thanks Lord, its encouraging to note that You're here with me and even as I am down trodden, You'll lift me up! Its what I need to grow myself and to be motivated to have that continuous conversation with you. =) Praise You!
Initially as I worship, play and sing to 'Beautiful Saviour', it feels so routine and dry but I told myself to press on and for the longest time that I've not been touched or teared for so long, I FINALLY DID!
It just feels so good to let it out. It may not have been alot nor for very long but its a start.
For some background information, its very rare that you would see me cry. Some male ego issue I guess thats subconscious. But it becomes very natural for me to do so in front of the Lord even during service when there's lots of people. I just feel free with the Lord, He knows me and whats bothering me after all.
Its been a while too since I wanted to let out whats been surpressed inside of me, the pain and hurts that I do not talk about. Its just great to be able to let it out infront of God.
Thanks Lord, its encouraging to note that You're here with me and even as I am down trodden, You'll lift me up! Its what I need to grow myself and to be motivated to have that continuous conversation with you. =) Praise You!
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Grace of God
This post is dedicated to thanking God for showing us His presence and grace.
Yesterday night we went out for a sent off dinner for Cheryl. We were walking outside Amoy food centre towards Tanjong Pagar MRT station when one of us kicked something. I picked it up and realize it’s a key, a car key. We were wondering who had so unfortunately dropped his/her key there. I examined the key and noticed that it’s a Hyundai car key. And it so happen that a Hyundai cab was right beside us. I decided to try and see if it belonged to that vehicle. True enough the key turned when I slotted it in.
Upon knowing that that is the key to that vehicle, we started to think about how we can return it to its rightful owner. Just as Silas was still waiting for the operator of the cab service to pick up, we saw a man walking over focused on the ground. We walked up to him and asked him if it was his keys lifting it up to him and to his surprise, it was. We can so see the change in his expression as he received his key from us; the key to his livelihood and income. Or so we thought.
The next thing we know, he started to praise God and immediately all of us saw how we were being used by God to be His vessel of grace. So as he praised God, we did too and we thanked God! Only then did I realize I am wrong, his livelihood and income is from the Lord, the Lord of provision Jehovah Jireh! To think we just celebrated Jireh’s Birthday too =)
In the making
As you would realize, I am someone that is highly inconsistent with my blog. And somehow it reflects how I am spiritually and also my life as a general whole. I thought I should make some sort of commitment and start life all over again. To start and continue to work on my misgivings and really to pursue after God and His will for my life.
I am actually at a crossroad of life wondering where my future lies for me now. I am very uncertain and fearful of making the wrong choices and ruining what God has in store for my life. Lord guide me and show me as you have with my decisions to stay in Singapore instead of going overseas to pursue my education.
There are a lot within myself that I am looking for an answer or understanding about too. I am currently trying to really work on my pride. One of the biggest issues that I think have affected my life in more ways than I thought it could. Pastor prayed and prophesied over me last week on the 6th Feb about a new phase of life, about how this chapter of my life will be one that God will teach me humility and that His great Love will be the agent of change. I think as the prophetic words say, I think I will be grateful to God for whatever way He intends to teach me humility. After all what can I bargain for if what He has in store for me is for my best and that He is sovereign right?
Lord I just pray that you will be with me throughout all this time. Pardon me for the times I have been unfaithful and I struggle against you to think that I know better. For the things I’ve done my way, the choices I make and the beliefs I choose to adopt which differ from yours, I am sorry. Your word says that even as we confess, you’re faithful to forgive so I shall hold on to your word and trust in your faithfulness despite my unfaithfulness. For you cannot deny yourself, the faithful one! Praise You!
Jesus I want to give you all the honour and glory for all that you can allow me to accomplish. You are the one giving me the opportunity, the one guiding me and the one that have arranged all things to allow me to have what I have. Lord to you I lift up myself! Let the struggles in my heart die in your presence. Teach me to be still and know you are good. Help me to appreciate that your Love is sovereign and that you have your plans. Resolve the bitterness in my heart and whatever that I am struggling with to believe that you are God and King! You know better, and you hold our lives in your hands. Who am I to question what is best. You have allowed some things to happen and I believe you will reveal your glory through all that has happened! I will learn to trust, have faith and hope in YOUR MIGHTY LOVE!!!
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