Thinking that you are the cleverest and everybody else is stupid is really a bad way to talk to your staff. It is full of disrespect and degrading. I hate it.
So if you can make that reference to everybody else, it simply means you will be making the same comment about me, in front of others. To begin with, if you believe all your staffs are stupid, then you are the stupid one that employed them in the first place. Otherwise, you have made them stupid over time.
I am throwing in the towel and don't think I'm the one to bring the company another step forward. My heart is already not here.... compounded with all the remarks, which are uncalled for. Never one who cares much about authority, I care about respect. basic human respect. I am not putting up against this.
Will still carry out the tasks that I'm supposed to be doing, but having Km in the post will not change anything. Contradictory instructions and remarks sucks. Worst if it's different ideology.
Lucky today is Friday. Looking forward to my whisky tonight..
Friday, October 30, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Step towards my passion
Today, is an important day, a day which I will take a step forward in preparing myself for my next career transition. Reading up on the roles and tasks of a consultant in a consulting firm, not only can I see myself in that role, I can see myself enjoy doing that.
Problem solving, analytical, enjoy numbers, enjoy cracking puzzles, everything that I enjoy doing in one package. Yes. This is the one that I shall prepare myself for.
Honestly, reading up on the expected tasks, the preparation required, I'm intimidated. Intimidated to the extent I feel I'm not ready to apply for it till I have much more experience. I will do it. I will go for it.
Make it happen.
Problem solving, analytical, enjoy numbers, enjoy cracking puzzles, everything that I enjoy doing in one package. Yes. This is the one that I shall prepare myself for.
Honestly, reading up on the expected tasks, the preparation required, I'm intimidated. Intimidated to the extent I feel I'm not ready to apply for it till I have much more experience. I will do it. I will go for it.
Make it happen.
Monday, October 19, 2015
5 years.. it's being 5 years since I've started working and I'm still on
my first job. It's being on my mind for the past 3 years that I should be
moving on and trying out different industry, but each time there is something
that is pulling me back. Now, there doesn't seem to be any real reason in
office to hold me back... I am holding myself back...
I have changed much over the years.... not for the better though.
Looking back on the days in my Sec school, JC, Army, Uni, I seem to have been
exceptionally self motivated and driven. After 5 yrs here, I believe I have
lost a huge chunk of that. Is that really a cause of me being stagnant for too
long? I have progressed in this company, but plateau-ed for the past 2 years
and I'm on the decline.. Sinking into a deeper hole as each day passes. Looking
at how some of my friends have progressed, I wonder what am I doing....
I feel neglected... I feel un-cared for at times... there is an
emotional void in me now... which is becoming more prominent. Independent yes..
but when you get forgotten over time for things that you feel important... the
feeling sucks. It makes you thing, am I really that un-important? I mean you
try to be understanding, sometimes really busy, sometimes really forgot.... but
if it's really important, efforts would be made to make sure it happens. Like I
said before, if it's that important to you, you will make sure you remember
it.. and you put in some efforts to it.
Perhaps, the love language is different.. perhaps the way of expression
is different.. perhaps.... but how will you find out if even prompting and
hinting several times, the action is not being taken up to improve on it... or
even attempt to look at it.. are all my messages all so un-important?
People say, the person you love the most tends to be the one that hurts
you the most... cos even the effect of a minor thing might be amplified 10x cos
words coming out from the person is worth 10x more.
I am unhappy... Sinking into a whole of virtual reality recently, where
I can control my own world... where I can control what I wanna do.. Do I really
want to just game myself all the time? Not really, but I guess that's where I
find relieve at the moment, without the channels being changed, without the
loudness being complained too loud...
Understanding... I try to be one ... and maybe that's what is causing me
to be like this now, sometimes at the expense of keeping it to myself for too
long... I feel entrapped. Communication... they say is the most important...
that is something that is not done very well lately... Never being a believer
of drastic actions as I believe many things can be resolved gradually, if
there's a will...
Perhaps it's time for me to do some drastic actions... I'm tired.. I'm
getting drained... my energy level as zy, is not the same zy I know of. Even
personality tests tell me so...
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