A to tha B : Rare to Share

It’s been a while since our last camping trip and I’m getting ITCHY!!!

Apparently the bugs attack me when I’m NOT in their wild realm…or it’s just mange.

Luckily, there has never been a report or an instance of a glacier undergoing acariasis.  So, one day on a camping trip too long ago, Matt and I hiked from Old Devil’s Postpile to a place called The Minarets.  (Not the Minotaur, The Minarets…but could you imagine?!?!?!  Yikes!) 

The Minarets are about a 6.5 mile hike one way, plus about 2 miles worth of hiking and exploring we did once there.  That’s right.  We hiked about 15 miles in one day!  And it’s not like you’re just walking down a road.  You’re hiking up, you’re hiking down…you’re starting, you’re stopping…you’re freezing, you’re sweating…you’re hungry, you’re more hungry…BUT!  One thing you’re NEVER feeling is any sense of regret.  I mean, how can you when THIS is your end result:

Not to mention, THIS:

SO, without further ado, I present to you,

THE MINARETS FORMULA FOR WASHBOARD ABS!!!

* Wake up at 5:30 a.m. and get ready for your hike.

* Pack a back pack such as this women’s Lowe Alpine backpack,  with all kinds of necessary goodies such as:  and a to hold the yummy glacier river water you pump into it using a water filter such as this MSR Miniworks portable water filter throughout your hike.  Our Nalgene, BPA-free water bottle comfortably screws into the bottom of the filter for a secure transfer.

* You’ll also want to make sure you are wearing a good pair of hiking boots, such as these lovely Vasque women’s hiking boots with a sole.

* And you might as well pack some of this in sandwich form.  You’ll need your protein since you’ll be gaining about 2,330 feet in elevation.  (Devil’s Postpile at 7,500 ft. + 2,330 ft. gain = Minaret Lake at 9,830 ft.!)  YUM!!!

* Dress yourself in layers that will keep you warm enough in the morning (in our case, it was about 28 degrees) but that you can shed for your afternoon sweat and stuff into your backpack.  But don’t over layer in the morning either!  I made the mistake of wearing too many layers in the morning, instead of toughing through the initial cold and by the time we climbed the first ridge only 20 minutes after we started, I had to stop and take off my jacket and 2 thick sweaters…this in turn became added weight into my already full backpack.  Not fun.  Luckily I had Matt and he wore the back pack the whole hike up to the Minarets.

* And finally, hike your a** off!

6:30 a.m. and into the woods we go!

A beautiful example of how glaciers pressured and polished granite rocks into this smooth surface thousands of years ago.

A tranquil clearing.

Almost there!

It looks tame from this angle, but this last bit was a tiny struggle of a climb mentally and physically.  I could see the tips of the minarets, but I couldn’t move any faster because of the elevation and the burning in my lungs and thighs…and I wasn’t even wearing a back pack!  Matt totally whipped me on this hike…yep, no surprise there.

I love this tree…but I really stopped to take its picture because I NEEDED A BREAK!!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!  ACK!!!!  FINALLY!!!!!!!!!  WE’RE THERE!!!!  I MADE IT!  I MADE IT!!!

Summer on the mountain tops.

But now it’s time for some glacier FUN!!!…

Can you find Matt in this picture?

There he is!  Just chillin’ on a glacier…but you know me…

I gotta be all DRAMATIC!

(I was re-enacting the trash compactor scene from STAR WARS…)

Unfortunately, Matt and I did not plan to spend the night, so it soon became time to leave this…

and to return to this:

All in all, it took us 4 hours to hike up and only 2 hours to hike back down.  We spent a solid 3 hours at the top.  Totally worth a day hike, but it’s more ideal for camping.  And YES, there will be a next time…especially since at this point, I am not so far removed from this:

It’s pronounced, “yo-SEM-eh-tee”.

Oops.

Yeah well, at least I wasn’t the one that chose to name the stunning valley by a word that in the native Southern Sierra Miwok language means,

“some of them are killers.”

You can thank L.H. Bunnell of the Mariposa Battalion for that one.  (check out paragraph 5 of that link)  Yet another shining example of the idiocy and disrespect we showered on native tribes.  It seems that the name for the valley should have been, “Ahwahnee”, which roughly means, “large mouth [of a grizzly].”  A romanticized translation would be, “deep grassy valley.”  This was the actual term used by the native people to describe the valley, but I guess it just wasn’t American enough.

But you know what is?

A la mode, no less.

Although there are no apple pie-men walking around Yosemite/Awahnee valley, you will find yourself inexplicably drawn to the rushing glacier rivers, the soft green meadows, the polished granite hills and the wild beauty of it all.

We started super early since we were camping at Devils Postpile, which is about 2 1/2 hours away.  And when I say super early, I mean it: 4 a.m.

It was a rather balmy morning in the eastern Sierras…

…yeah…balmy if you’re one of these guys:

Regardless…you suit up, gear up and shut up.  No room for wussies in nature.  That’s why when we go hiking, we carry our MSR Miniworks Ex water filter with us wherever we go.  It’s extremely important to stay hydrated in higher altitudes, especially if you’re going to be physically active.  We feel so safe and secure knowing that as long as we are near a water source, we will be able to drink fresh, clean water.  It’s so easy and fills up a Nalgene wide-mouth water bottle in no time!  Look how happy Matt is with his MSR Miniworks Ex water filter!

Filtered water never tasted so good.

Our drive into the valley took us along a breathtaking 45-minute scenic route.  Below is Half-Dome in the 6 a.m. light. 

El Capitan greets us as we enter the valley.  That’s 3,000 feet of sheer rock face, in yo face!

We decided to do an easy 3-mile round trip hike up to Vernal Falls…the trail is ridiculously manicured.

Engulfed in beauty.

A beautiful stretch of granite rocks and glacial water above Vernal Falls.

Emerald Pool.  So badly wanted to jump in and take a bath!!!

A numbing foot bath seemed more apropos.

Her diaper was soaking wet…hmmm, probably not so good for the fish…

After some lunch and a little nap on the rocks, it was time to leave.  But leaving here is just as good as coming here…

…and I’m going to continue coming back for a long time.

Next up:  GLACIER FUN!!!!

These days, everything is expensive.

Gas is EXPENSIVE.

Quality material is EXPENSIVE.

A professional’s time and labor is EXPENSIVE.

My life held in the hands of a complete stranger is VERY EXPENSIVE.

Luckily I knew the stranger.

Pilot Matt Ellis

And thanks to investing in winning a raffle drawing, my first helicopter ride was NOT expensive.

I’ll tell you what it was though…

UUUUUHHHHHH-MAZING!!!!!!!!!

Catalina Island was our destination!  Matt and fellow pilot, Mike Toland were our guides.

I’m just going to let the videos and pictures speak for themselves on this one.

Pre-Flight action shot!

This is NOT your dummy dashboard.

Pray for one of these to come looking for you if you’re ever stranded somewhere.

LIFT OFF!!!!

So long west coast!

HELLO CATALINA!!!!

Catalina Island = Super Mario Bros. GIANT WORLD

I guess we had to come back some time…Hello Palos Verdes!

Quintessential?

Yippee!!!!

Nothing to explain.

A million thank you’s to Matt and Mike and Orbic Helicopter Tours for taking such extraordinary care of us.

And REMEMBER!:

A helicopter tour is WORTH saving for!

Allow me to refresh those of you who may not have read the first of this series:

If the year of 1816 is known as The Year Without A Summer, then Los Angeles should be known as The City of Continual Summer.  (Like how I made that disparate connection?  And don’t you DARE do any word-play with the word “desperate”!)  The first year I lived here, it was wondrous.  I never had to worry about freezing temperatures, wind-chill factors or trying to knock ice off my wiper blades. Then I realized I lived in a bubble.  A big, filthy, smog-infused bubble.  I missed feeling and smelling the whispery changes in the air that signaled the coming of a different season.  So last year, I decided to make the least of the LA winter and head to colder territories whenever possible.

Los Angeles, CA winter: Average temps around 65 F, sunny and warm with intermittent showers three to four months out of the year.

Perry, IA winter: Average temps around 10 F (not considering wind-chill factors which easily drop that number into the negatives), cloudy and grey with intermittent snowstorms six months out of the year.  In other words…

WE’VE GOT A WINNER FOLKS!!!!

The month of March marked my visit to Perry, IA (or, Iowa for those of you who don’t know your state abbreviations).  I’ll be honest with ya…there isn’t much to do in Perry during the winter months except cure your meats, chop wood, wear at least 3 layers of clothing, and if it rains, go check out the awe-inspiring swelling of the Coon river.  Okay, okay…I’m JUST KIDDING.  J.K. my Iowans, J.K.!  (Except there really was a flood and I really did check it out…and yes, that really is the name of the river.)

There’s actually plenty to do in Perry during the winter, especially if you have the right equipment.  And by the RIGHT equipment, I mean GUNS.  Now, let me first add a DISCLAIMER:

• If you’re going to handle a firearm, you must first believe in the SAFETY and RESPECT of the weapon, of yourself and of anyone around you.

• NEVER operate a firearm on your own if you are new to this.  ALWAYS have someone who is experienced help you.  i.e., someone who has safely used a gun more than 10 separate times…notice I wrote,”… SAFELY USED a gun…”  Shooting other people, including themselves, is NOT a safe use of a firearm.

• WEAR EARPLUGS.

Okay SO!  Although it is true, I played a bad-ass Henchgirl in a little movie called, REPO!  THE GENETIC OPERA, it is equally true that I had never used a real firearm before in my entire life.  Practicing with a broomstick and a tree is a far cry from pulling a trigger.  Thank goodness I had help.

For my first try, I fired a .45 caliber handgun.  Check it out below:

For my second try, I had the awesome chance to fire a 12 gauge shotgun…EXACTLY WHAT THE HENCHGIRLS USE!!!!! Witness my prowess below:

Now watch the yellow tag, but beware of obscenities:

Yes, I am a natural, but it’s time for the real pro:

After an hour of thrills and literal chills, it was time to go.  It only took TWO WEEKS for the low-fi buzzing in my ears to go away.  Hence, my 3rd disclaimer.  I thought that since we were outside, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.  Guess I made an ass of myself.

My very special thanks to MARK MICHAELSEN and MATT MICHAELSEN for making sure I didn’t shoot myself or anyone else.

Allow me to refresh those of you who may not have read the first of this series:

If the year of 1816 is known as The Year Without A Summer, then Los Angeles should be known as The City of Continual Summer.  (Like how I made that disparate connection?  And don’t you DARE do any word-play with the word “desperate”!)  The first year I lived here, it was wondrous.  I never had to worry about freezing temperatures, wind-chill factors or trying to knock ice off my wiper blades. Then I realized I lived in a bubble.  A big, filthy, smog-infused bubble.  I missed feeling and smelling the whispery changes in the air that signaled the coming of a different season.  So last year, I decided to make the least of the LA winter and head to colder territories whenever possible.

RENO, NV or SNOWED IN AT THE AIRPORT

I will get to the latter part of that title later.  WELL!  What to say about Reno…Reno used to be where the golden gambling guilds would go and gregariously mingle with the gangsters in decked out garages and guesthouses whilst guessing and gussing over the guerilla girls.  Make sense?  Well, neither does much of Reno, but that’s what makes it so curiously fabulous.  I mean, they could have gone with something like, “The best medium-sized city in the world,” but no.  They chose to use an oxymoron.

Reno, like any other city, rests in a precarious balance between what is natural and what is man-made.  Matt and I decided to straddle that balloon by walking on one of the city’s solutions:  the aptly named Riverwalk along the Truckee River.

If you’ve read my previous posts, you know I am a newborn angler, so to walk along such a famous and beautifully kept river was quite an exciting moment.  The Truckee River flows from Lake Tahoe to the famed Pyramid Lake, where you can find native Lahontan cutthroat so gigantic, they’d swallow a watermelon whole.

Photo courtesy of: bsgpicturestwo.blogspot.com

Okay, maybe a small watermelon. 
Regardless of whether or not you’re an angler, the Truckee reminded me of why it is so important to keep our waterways clean and natural.  The construction of large dams have wiped out many species of fish, particularly salmon on the west coast, and other aquatic wildlife.  Not only that, but it stops the natural flow of nutrients and sediment, thus stopping the growth of plant life and a bazillion other life-sustaining organisms.  READ MORE!!!!!

But I digress…Dams be damned!  The ducks will have their way.

The next morning, this is what we were greeted with!:

Which led to our flight being canceled, which led to us being stuck in the airport for 12 hours, which led to numerous McDonald’s combos, which led to MY VICTORY!!!!:

That’s right!  I hit JACKPOT on the penny slot machine!!!!  KITTY GLITTER!!!!!!!!!

Matt was also a winner, but less so with a mere $8.50.

Thanks RENO, for the memories and the cash!

If the year of 1816 is known as The Year Without A Summer, then Los Angeles should be known as The City of Continual Summer.  (Like how I made that disparate connection?  And don’t you DARE do any word-play with the word “desperate”!)  The first year I lived here, it was wondrous.  I never had to worry about freezing temperatures, wind-chill factors or trying to knock ice off my wiper blades. Then I realized I lived in a bubble.  A big, filthy, smog-infused bubble.  I missed feeling and smelling the whispery changes in the air that signaled the coming of a different season.  So last year, I decided to make the least of the LA winter and head to colder territories whenever possible.

LAKE TAHOE, NV

The glorious beauty of Lake Tahoe was where my first foray into the frigid digits occurred.  Matt’s best friend needed a pianist for his wedding and I needed a reason to continue owning a tuque.  Jack Frost my boy, HERE I COME!!!!!

BEHOLD AND WITNESS THE BEAUTY OF LAKE TAHOE

See how clean and pure the water is!

Lake Tahoe is the 2nd deepest body of water in the United States and it never freezes.

Crater Lake in Oregon holds the #1 spot by only 300 ft.

AFTER THIS:

THERE WAS MORE OF THIS:

Emerald Bay

Matt at the Eagle Falls Trailhead.  We decided to have fun in the snow and go on a short hike.  Little did we know…

…the clouds were starting to gang up on us!…

…along with the mountains!

Beautiful Eagle Lake nestled below Maggie’s Peaks.

The top of the mountain.

A snow-crusted Eagle Lake from above and below.

And that’s it for this edition of  A WINTER RECAP!!!!!

Stay tuned for A WINTER RECAP #2: RENO, NV

Ahhhh, the Ides of March.  How I love to say it.  Nay, PROCLAIM it to my friends and family.  The latter of which receives a phone call from me screaming into the receiver, “BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH LEST YE SEND ME BOUNTIFUL MOUNDS OF CURRY!…WITH PORK…GREEN CURRY, I LIKE AUNTIE’S GREEN CURRY…a-a-AND BEEF JERKY!…I MISS THE HOME-MADE BEEF JERKY!…OOOH!…I’d also like some peanut sauce, about two large jars worth and maybe some bbq spare ribs, mashed potatoes and those beans with bacon!!!……BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!!!!”

*click*

Then I call back and I’m usually met with silence and then proclamations on my general level of sanity.

But I get my BEEF JERKY, YES I DO!!!!…from the store.  Sad.  Damn Ides of March.