But on the bright side, at least the sump pump kicked on!

We knew we had a flooding problem before we moved in, so I've never really been too upset.  We knew what we were getting into, right?  Wrong!  We had no idea just how bad it was.  A few weeks back Ryan and his friend rented a jackhammer, tore up the floor, and installed an industrial strength sump pump.  Ryan kept saying he was waiting for a storm big enough to test out how well the sump pump worked.  Welll... he finally got his wish.  Bad news!  Sump pump worked, but due to the fact that neighborhood drains all their water directly into our backyard, try as it might, it couldn't keep up.  It would be one thing if the water was just funnelling itself into the window wells from runoff water and filling them up.  Easy fix, right?  We could just redirect the flow of the water.  But what do you do when it isn't pouring in from above, it's rising from below?  That's right... the groundwater of our entire lot rose to the level you can see on our window wells.  Our sump pump is awesome, but there's no way it could handle that workload.  So... all you engineers out there, what on earth do we do?  How can we release the pressure of the rising ground water?  Where we do we send it so it doesn't all come into the basement?  Ryan has read and researched for hours on end, and we are still at a loss.  Help!
And yes... before you say it, we've heard the joke about just installing an indoor swimming pool.
Very sad day, indeed.