life's journey...

Today we celebrate 9 years of marriage. Nine years ago I married my best friend. I married the man God created and chose for me to spend the rest of my life with. I could not have dreamed it any better....

when it all started. this was a really long time ago. i think i was about 18 and casey was 21. wow, we were young.

first night with nathan. our lives were changed forever. we were no longer just the two of us. there was someone else that  we loved and cared for. he has changed us forever.

the day cooper was placed in our arms and our lives were once again changed forever.

Being a trans racial family has it's challenges... as you can imagine. When we are out in public, we get it all. All the looks. All the stares. I use to notice them all. I use to care. Now- not so much. When I do see them looking, I usually look back if they are looking for longer than I think they should, and sometimes smile, depending on the situation.  I often ponder what they are thinking and creating in their minds about our family. 

Cooper and I met Casey for lunch one day last week downtown. We were getting settled into our table.  I was holding Cooper while setting up his seat. There were two ladies sitting at the table next to us. One of them was trying to get my attention. These were her words.... " Mam... Your son is Beautiful! He is just beautiful!!"  I could not agree more with her and said thank you. Through out our lunch Cooper loved the ladies attention and flirted with them! They just loved watching him and talking to him. He LOVED it!

As we were leaving and taking Casey back to work, I asked him if he remember what the lady said about Cooper being beautiful and he said yes. I said, but did you HEAR what she said. She said YOUR SON is beautiful. NO ONE has ever said that to us that did not know us. NEVER. That was a first and it felt AMAZING. He is OUR SON and she knew it. She did not have to ask. She did not question. She did not hesitate. She knew. He was mine and I was his. It did not matter that we looked different than what the world defines as "family". She knew.

I am so thankful God has chosen me for this journey and my heart overflows with love for MY SON!

On December 8th, 2009 Casey and I woke up that morning in a state of confusion. Jet- lag probably had something to do with that, but I think our minds were very distracted and confused about what was to come. Jennifer and the girls stopped by that morning.... not sure why, can't remember... probably to drop off something for Cooper. It is all a blur. After that, we took it easy around the house. It was a cold, rainy day.

We were to be at Lifeline around 1pm, I think. We took our time getting ready. We left in plenty of time. There was no packing of luggage, no sending Brock off to stay with someone, no locking up the house. Just a little drive down the road to Hwy 280. We made a pit stop by Target. Can't remember what we bought. Nothing significant. We had everything we needed. Our house was full of Christmas decor and baby STUFF when we returned from Hawaii!! So we were set. All we need was Cooper Isaiah. I had not eaten. I do not think Casey had eaten much. (Honestly, we had not eaten much since we had gotten the call on Thanksgiving Day. It was so much to process.) We left Target and proceeded towards lifeline. Such a blurry drive. Not many words were spoken. We were in such a state of shock about that reality of what was happening.

We arrived at lifeline and went into a room with our social worker to sign LOTS of papers. That took about an hour. At this point I needed a vomit bag, but I some how manage to hold it together. Once we were done, things happened so fast. I guess they did not want us to change our minds;). Margo took all our stuff and directed us towards the room. We turned the corner to see all the staff lined the walls cheering us on as we headed towards the precious child. WOW... what a moment. They opened the door. We entered the room and their he was lying in the white bassinet in the room all by himself sleeping so peacefully. I stood there for a moment taking it all in. Not real sure still what was really happening. I finally picked him up. Holding him for the first time was strange... this child.... I do not have to give back. I could not help but think often of Nathan. After a few moments I gave him to his daddy. After a couple of moments as a family, the staff and foster parents joined us.

We continued to hold and stare at this precious blessing that was JUST placed in our arms FOREVER. It was too much to handle. So many emotions. So much to grasp. It was Cooper Isaiah Allums.

We finally headed home where family greeted us and met Cooper for the first time. He slept through ALL of it!

December 8th is a day that changed my life. Cooper has changed my life. I am so thankful for God's plans. Although God's plans are NOT easy, I am thankful for them. I could not imagine life without Cooper in it. He has brought so much joy and God has taught me so much though his little life.

Cooper turned ONE on November 19th. I can not believe it! Where has the time gone???? We had so much fun celebrating him! On his birthday Casey was off and we spent the day together as a family and just enjoyed the day. The day after we had a party at our house with family and friends. Cooper was not sure what to think about all those people in his house plus he had a double ear infection so he was a little dazed during the party but he had a blast!

Cooper is growing and changing so fast I feel like I just can not keep up! He weighs 20.5 lbs (15%) and is 28 1/2 inches long (60 %). i think we are going to have a tall lean little guy! He is really close to taking off and walking! He took a few steps the day of his party after most people left. I think when he makes his mind up I am just going to look down one day and he is going to be walk. That is just how he does things. He is really starting to talk. His favorite word (other than DaDa) is Ball! He recognizes anything that is in the shape of a "ball". Even the blueberries that I "try" to feed him. HE LOVES BALLS!!! All the ornaments on the Christmas tree are "balls". Other words he can say are "mama, brock, football, and dada, bye-bye, hey, baby, ba-ba (bottle)." He will sometimes try to mock what you say so now I am having to watch what I say, especially to the dog as I discipline him often;).

Cooper has 8 teeth and is now cutting his bottom right molar. Not a fun tooth to cut! That thing is huge! He is on whole milk and doing great with it! We are down to one bottle a day. I have set a date to give that one up. "Mama" has had a hard time letting go. Her baby is growing up.

We are still working on table food. I never dreamed Cooper would be a picky eater, but we have arrived! This child would live off of cheerios, yogurt and bread if I would let him. I have got to trick him into liking vegetables.... think, think, think.....


I can not begin to express what a joy this child is. Cooper has been such a blessing to Casey and I. He is ours and we are his. Nothing can change that. The week of Cooper's birthday I though so much about Cooper's birth mother and what she must have been feeling and remembering that week. I prayed that God was giving her peace and filling up any empty feelings in her with His love and comfort. Words could never express to her my gratitude for the gift that she has given us. She is such an amazing woman. The SELFLESS act that she performed on November 19th, 2009.... it just simply AMAZES ME! There are no words..... I am forever grateful to her.

We love you COOPER ISAIAH ALLUMS! HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY SUNSHINE!

We took cooper on his first beach trip back in September. He loved it and did great! We had a great time and can't wait til the next trip!





thomas donuts!




not real sure about the water...


attempting a nap on the beach....


attempt.... failed;)

We are so excited that football season has begun! We enjoyed our first game with family!

where is my baby going?!?!!?!?!?!??!!? this first year is flying by! i am so sad in some ways, yet so happy in others. i love watching him change and learn new things! he is such a joy!!! always happy!!!

He is doing so much now! He is all over the place... i can't keep up with him! he is eating great, yet still soooo tiny! he weighs 17.10 lbs (10th %). he is 28 1/4 in. long. Praying we hit a good growth spurt soon so we can get out of the helmet and fit into our 12 month clothes for the fall/winter months;). He is saying dada, but still refuses to say mama. He loves to wave bye-bye. Tonight daddy taught him animal sounds. My favorite is "moo". He has four teeth now and they hurt;)!! mommy is so tired of the drool too! i cant keep his bibs dry!! He has started cruising on his toys and furniture. I am thinking this boy will be walking very soon! We have started trying more table foods and he has done great so far! he LOVES bananas!!!

we discovered a couple of weeks ago that chlorinated pools exacerbate his eczema. so it is only fresh and salt water for us! he loves playing in the water!!