Under the Cottonwood

So I dug a hole today, not to plant and bring new life to abandoned soil. The soil will be welcoming back one of her own soon. I thought about it as my girls prepared ( ha) for bed....Not to wide but deep, so other animals would not disturb, and away to keep contamination at bay. Plastic? seems artificial, well it is. I had to tell my daughters today that I was unsure that one of our chickens was going to make it through the night. My eldest caught the horror..no despair...helplessness as I examined the bird to confirm that things had worsen and there was nothing more to do. She knelt to pray ..but she told me she didn't know what to say. I helped her by explaining that we need to pray to ease Rosie's suffering. My eldest begged me not to tell her sister..its her sister's chicken. My husband as created a entire anthology of stories from these chickens some nights he would regale the kids about the various adventures that the chickens would have....I never thought it cruel..but its feels like it to hear Ro recount the stories about her chicken through sobs....as she looks through the window at Rosie moving her wrist so gently as she waves goodbye. Yeah, I know its a chicken...at most it was a pet ...but I can't help feel heart ache for the creature...Dying ...slowly emerging from her coop as the others have already slipped passed her. pecking listlessly and without focus...isolation..... the others have nothing to do with her. I put the others away and allowed Rosie to roam free..... then I start digging I am hoping that she is off in some corner breathing her last breath but she is not. I find her waiting to enter the coop as night falls. I wish I had a gun..a knife, a lethal dose of something .. O not sensitive, to desire that?Or in sensitive to deny it. I have heard so much about death and loss lately it makes the heart weary heavy.. This has just help me feel it observe it more keenly..not so much as a true loss but the taste or a tiny inkling of one....knowing how some right now are feeling more so in a monumental earth shattering way...How can I say anything of comfort...without sounding trite or chicken. Rest well Rosie.

So this is what I imagine I look like when I run..But in reality it looks a lot different. But it is true and somewhat little known part of me unless you can catch me out on the road. I squeeze them runs in when I can and that means I run at night a lot of times. Yep, I'm a headlamp, soon to be reflective vest wearing running nerd. You see I usually quit in the winter but for some reason Ive got it in my head that hey one can run in the winter. However, that means my leisurely runs at warm 7:30pm after the spawn go to bed, in the summer; turn into grit my teeth, frozen nose and toes running. It chills me to think of it as I sit here with my hot cocoa. So why do I run? Well, I'm not good at hitting the gym and working out...that's like doing time in a hamster wheel..sorry hamsters, it might be the thrill of your life to spin spin, but not me, I need the change of scenery to distract be from the pain. That's also why I like Zumba ..but that is another post. Need another reason? It's pretty cheap. I mean really all ya need is a pair of GOOD running shoes everything else is just fluff. Unless that is you run at night and after 2 months of picking..yes picking ones way through the dark on a trail by traffic light is not pleasant or leisurely.It dawned on me that (more like my husband rolled his eyes and handed me a headlamp)that a headlamp would be beneficial. So now I'm thinking it might be good for traffic to see me and perhaps I should invest in a vest..hehe.Although it was kind of fun running stealth not getting honked at..and not having a strong overwhelming urge to use hand gestures was enjoyable. However, as I increase my distance again I have to do battle with vehicles and the complete lack of sidewalks or lights in my neighborhood.Bike lanes. we have those.weird huh? But I feel bad taking over those and I don't need Bicyclists having uncontrollable hand gesture urges towards me..they need to keep their hands on the handle bars, you know? So here I am sacrificing my sense of style to running in the dark..and no its not like dancing in the dark. This is where I realized that running is a larger chunk of who I am than I once believed. It used to require some kind of training goal i.e races. I've run three Half Marathons and a dozen or so shorter distance races. But I have gotten to a place where I don't need those to continue running I run simply because it shakes the cobwebs out of my head. Its very peaceful running at pace to inspiring music and the clean scoured smell of the desert.I have know one to please but myself in those moments. Its a great feeling and afterward I'm a nicer mommy and a better wife.

Here are some of the things that I am actually have completed over the last year.. Aly and Rowan's Costumes: Cinderella and The Tooth Fairy Road to Spring 2 for my sister. Road to Spring 3 for my mom. And my nightmare ..because I took FOREVER to complete it..The Polka Dot Whale painting.

I want to start over with is blog. I think my blog is boring and that I don't post as much as I'd like just because I think that just stuff I make is limiting and does represent who am. Maybe know one cares but I would like to archive and account for more of things I love in my life then just sewing and crafting. I'm a little burned out on the whole process and looking for a fresh start, I see a lot of blogs that do just that. This is my creative outlet..so I'll let the creative process of all my other pursuits gain a little of the spot light to. So Cool. cool.

So, Jeff got a Tablet PC and on it the girls have discovered :Angry Birds. Okay so I admit it I like the game too its requires j little enough hand-eye-coordination that I can actually play this game. I have been thinking what should I make for my little girls for Christmas and I found the perfect thing ..Angry Bird Plushies over at Obsessively Stitching I showed the hubs and he said I had to do it.--he never says stuff like that especially sewing..hmm.The post is dated 2009, man, I guess we are way late in the cool trendy games and toys division. The tutorials are great and I have never actually sewn stuffed animals or anything like the sort. I'm kinda 2D girl...but I was able pull it off. I have been chuckling and He,he,he ing the whole time working on the last leg of this year's elving tour of duty. I'm thinking that I'll make some stuffed blocks they can build and toppled over too!!

So the top is done on the first one, now I get to go purchase the 3yds of backing and the 1 yd to bind, plus the batting.I'm honestly not looking forward to the work out my arms are going to get when I decide to quilt this sucker. I still have the whale painting to finish, a room to finish painting, dresses and skirts to make for Easter or maybe for Birthdays.

Okay I found this as a part of my great aunt's estate...I love it..Its great I love the lines the hardware even the little feet but I don't love what my little derelicts--I mean darlings have done to it. I think I mean I think I want to paint it ...all those awesome home decor bloggers are doing should I? Or should I strip it down and refinish it . If I do anyone of those things what color/Stain? If I paint it do I paint the walls to bring it out? HELP!! Please anyone out there in the blogsphere pluuuuease give me an opinion!!