Hi, Lyra here!
One evening last summer I was barking in the garden when a horrible man came thundering down the hill and banged on the front door. I ran inside as soon as my human opened the door, because the man was really scary. He said to my human, βCan you take your dog in, itβs been barking for ages and itβs getting on my nerves.β My human was so angry she slammed the door in his face.
She carried on talking to him even after heβd gone, which was odd, because he was no longer there to listen. βThe dog wasnβt barking for that long,β she said. βDogs bark round here all the time and no one takes any notice. Who are you anyway, youβre not one of the neighbours. I suppose youβre a tourist from one of the airbnbβs β in which case, youβve got no business moaning about my dog. If you donβt like dogs barking, donβt come here, go and stay in a hotel and leave us residents in peace.β
Iβm glad she stuck up for me, because sheβs not always on my side about barking. Sometimes she tells me off and asks why Iβm barking βat nothing.β Well, let me tell you, itβs not at nothing β Iβm barking at the foxes, who are a pain in the neck. They come to the back fence in the evenings and disrespect me.
βOoh, look at the pretty little whippet,β they say, in sneering tones. βSpoilt little princess who sleeps on a soft cosy bed indoors and gets given her food in a bowl. She canβt even escape from that garden to go on adventures. We go hunting every night, and itβs fun!β
Itβs true that I canβt escape from the garden, or Iβd soon sort them out. Sometimes when Iβm not looking, one of them sneaks in through the fence β I donβt know how, because as far as I can see, thereβs no way through.
βLook at me!β heβll say. βIβm on your territory β what you gonna to do about it?β The answer is nothing, because Iβm never quite quick enough to catch him β heβs out again before I can turn around. Then they all start laughing and jeering. βToo slow!β they say. βThatβs what you get for lying around on a soft bed and eating from a bowl β youβre too slow to catch a tortoise!β
So all I can do is bark. Itβs lucky my human canβt understand dog language, or sheβd make me wash out my mouth for swearing.
Looking for a fun story for a young reader? Check out theΒ Bad Boy WizardΒ series and find out what happens when a naughty boy meets his own ghost and discovers he can do magic. New book coming in May!
The Literate Lurcher 