The Wilkins Family

Hello to all who choose to read this! I hope this update finds you well and happy. I apologize up front for the length of this letter: I don’t know of any way to keep this from becoming a novel when I write only twice a year now and have twelve people to cover! I feel the need to write this letter not because you are so anxious to hear from me, but because I want my children to have a record of things they did long after those memories have left my consciousness. Steven has been gone from our home and serving as a missionary for the LDS Church in Salem, Oregon, for 11 months now. (11 down, 13 to go!) It has certainly been a difficult adjustment for several of us, but I see more and more the wisdom, optimism, and social skills Steven has developed as a result of this experience. I am constantly amazed by his maturity and perspective, especially for a kid who has seen and done so little bad in his life. Steven is an even better person now than he was when he left, and I can tell he is making a difference to those he serves. I treasure the messages of appreciation I have received from those members whose lives Steven has touched, and I appreciate how well the members have watched out for my sweet boy. Steven has served in only two areas so far in his mission, which has allowed him to thoroughly cover each area and to develop friendships. Steven often has the opportunity to play the piano and organ in church meetings. Daniel finished his junior year of high school with excellent grades despite having a tough schedule academically. He is still waiting for scores from the three AP tests he took in May. He has studied for and taken the ACT three times now, and though his score is very good, his competitive side pushes him to get a perfect score so that he can beat Steven. He loves soccer and played on the high school team, though this year’s team was not as unified as last year’s, as was apparent in the team’s demeanor and failure to secure a state championship again. I love it that Daniel has a desire to be more culturally literate; he has been reading classics like Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Sense and Sensibility, Brave New World, and The Jungle just because he wants to know what these are all about. He devours games on his Gameboy DS more voraciously than the classic books, but I appreciate his desire for more balance. He has been quite frustrated with an unsuccessful job search yet again this summer. It seems that luck and connections have a lot to do with getting these coveted summer jobs. Fortunately, he has had the opportunity to earn some money doing yard work several times a week for some family friends, and I appreciate the interaction he has with them.Daniel used some of his money to purchase a new (used) Android phone which can do a lot more than his old one could. In particular, it has a calendar function and a decent camera, and it can receive a whole text without splitting it into multiple messages - woo-hoo! Daniel (or at least Daniel’s bedroom) is very popular with his younger siblings, as they like to play with Daniel’s collection of rubber duckies. Every night, Jonathan insists on spending a few minutes with “Dam-o” to spar with him with his toy seal and walrus, then to give him a hug and say good night. It has been fun to watch Daniel’s relationships with his younger siblings change over the last year since he is now the oldest one at home. Julia, who will be turning 16 in a month, loves to learn and do. She finished her sophomore year with a full school schedule, choir, orchestra, and soccer. She has kept her 4.0 GPA both years of high school so far, and plans to maintain it. Due to a mix-up about the new state core curriculum, Julia tested out of the first half of the first year of secondary math and completed the second half. Later we found out that she would need to retake the entire year if she wants to qualify for the Utah Regents’ Scholarship (which she does) so she will need to retake that class over the summer and double up on math classes next year. There are so many things about which Julia wants to learn that she can’t stand the idea of using four periods for math alone, so we are trying to figure out if she can take a class online or even work with one of the math teachers to complete assignments on her own outside of class. Julia has lots of things going on this summer: Girls’Camp, two Youth Conferences (youth retreats), a family reunion, daily workouts for soccer, driving enough hours so that she can get her driver’s license, completing a two-semester math class in ten weeks, and finding some time to relax. How do I say this nicely? Michael is generally very easy-going, and doesn’t cause many problems at home or at school, but he just can’t seem to find the motivation to work hard at certain things, like school. I was very grateful when three teachers in one day threatened to write him up for school discipline if he didn’t get his hair cut, and I was able to cut his hair a few weeks before the end of the school year without being made the bad guy. Michael loves to watch sports and play electronics. He also enjoys soccer, and he played on the high school team as a freshman. He talked us into letting him try out for a club soccer team (as did Daniel, Natalie, and Matthew.) We signed them up with a clear understanding of our expectations for them to help pay the considerable fees by doing extra chores and yardwork/getting jobs, and to continue to do their schoolwork, chores, and piano practice even though they will be busier. I hope that this was the right thing to do and that I can handle getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there – as well as giving the other children sufficient attention in whatever their activities and interests are. Michael loves spending time with his cousin, Guts, and they have started working out at the high school weight room most mornings. Michael and Alyssa developed their own fantasy baseball game, which has given them something fun to do so far during the summer vacation. Alyssa was so excited to turn 12 years old in January because she aged out of the Primary (the children’s organization at church) and into the Young Women’s group. Alyssa was sad to have the school year end. She loved her time as a sixth grader with a fun teacher and classmates who all got along well. Though she loved this school year, it has probably been the worst one yet for headaches. Over-the-counter drugs and the couple of prescription drugs we have tried have not provided much relief. I finally made a worksheet for her to track any possible triggers so that we can figure out how to help her. It was fun to watch Alyssa perform in show choir again this year, but she has decided that she will not do it next year. Alyssa still loves to do hair, nails, and gymnastics. She and Natalie will often pile up our foam pads and practice gymnastics. Alyssa is hoping to perfect an aerial and a back handspring before our upcoming Dosdall Family Reunion next month, but hasn’t made as much progress as she had hoped and I don’t want to sign her up for a class until she promises to stop fighting piano lessons so much. I have a really hard time knowing how much to fight my kids to do those things that I believe will make them better people in the long-term. This parenting is very tricky work! Alyssa (as well as all the other kids, except maybe Katelyn) love to play soccer together. Alyssa often comments on how cute little kids are (especially Katelyn and Jonathan) and she likes to hook up the bike trailer and take them on rides around the neighborhood. In January, Natalie won the school spelling bee as a fourth grader competing against 4-8th graders. She had studied hard and was disappointed to have lost the opportunity to advance to the national bee when she misspelled the word palette (pallet? palate? – I would have been confused, too!) at the regional bee. She and Hugh had studied a lot, and I was so proud of her for the dedication and discipline she developed through the whole process. There are three people in this world that Natalie thinks can do no wrong: her dad, and her oldest and youngest brothers, Steven and Jonathan. I make a completely different kind of list altogether, one that makes me a frequent recipient of her anger and sarcasm. I’m not sure what I can do to fix it other than keep being a good mom and hope she will outgrow this. Natalie loves to do gymnastics, watch America’s Got Talent, read books, and watch/follow BYU sports. Together, Natalie, Alyssa, and Julia can mix up and bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies (including clean-up) in 25 minutes flat! Matthew finished second grade, and loved it. He is a boy with a fun personality and lots of energy, which can sometimes translate into lots of noise, and sometimes exaggerated reactions, but always enthusiasm. I was so happy to read the comment on his end-of-year report card, in which Matthew’s teacher said that he is sweet, caring, and thoughtful, and the best-mannered kid in her class. Matthew has lots of friends, and would sometimes opt out of going out to lunch with me because he didn’t want to miss playing with his friends at recess. Matthew enjoys lots of sports, and we have tried to give him an opportunity to try everything (which has been a source of contention with his two older sisters.) Matthew’s soccer-loving Uncle James made us aware of an opportunity for Matthew to play club soccer with an amazing coach, so Matthew tried out and made the team. I hope he loves soccer enough to happily go to the twice weekly practices and one or two games per week once the season begins. Matthew is a very skilled little player, and it has been fun watching all the kids play because they love it. Emily is a good reader and a smart girl who learned this year how to make friends, so she has really enjoyed first grade. She is very assertive, and says just what she thinks. That is good when she won’t let people mistreat her, but not so good when she is talking about the fat on my belly that she loves to feel because it is so squishy, or when she persists in asking for something until she makes people crazy. But she is not afraid to try new things, which I so admire in her and in Julia. In fact, Emily broke both wrists back in February when she insisted that her Grandpa Dosdall let her try a new gymnastics trick which didn’t quite turn out the way either one of them had hoped. She’s good as new, but unfortunately maybe no more cautious than she was before! Katelyn is a very cute four-year old who knows she is cute. Sometimes she will use as her defense for doing something wrong, “I’n just a wittwe kid, I don’t undastand!” I love to hear her sweet little Katelyn voice when she says things like “I hink…” (I think…) and "stoy” (store) and “sista” (sister)and "moy"(more). She does get angry and yell sometimes, and I’m amazed at how well she can keep a straight face when she glares at me. Katelyn is Jon-Jon’s best friend when the kids are at school, and Emily’s best friend otherwise (if Emily will allow it, which she usually does.) Katelyn (and Natalie, Matthew, and Emily) started swimming lessons this week. Jonathan is the adored baby of our family. I am determined that he will not be a spoiled brat, but I can see why that happens so often to the youngest when there are so many people around who want to gain his favor. Somehow, we think almost everything about him is cute, especially his flaming red hair and his wrinkled-nose smiles. Jonathan loves his Dad, so much so that if Hugh is around, he wants almost nothing to do with me, much to my chagrin. Jonathan is not the most verbal little two-year old, but wow is he coordinated! He can kick, hit, and throw a ball like nobody’s business! He impressed all of us (but Katelyn) when he hopped on the bike we had just put training wheels on for Katelyn and proceeded to ride around very competently, steering and all, even though his legs just barely stretch far enough to push the pedals. Michael and Matthew have started a tradition with Jonathan of giving each other a series of high fives, high heads, high foots, high elbows, and anything else that occurs to them at the moment. Jonathan had taken over Hugh’s old phone until I told him he could watch music videos and play games on it only when he is sitting on the potty, after which his phone time mysteriously dropped off rapidly. I am staying busy with these cute kiddos and the constant chaos and activity that come with them. I constantly fret about how to balance my family members’ agency with my responsibility as a mother and wife to help them all to be happy and become who God wants them to become. I have appreciated the respite I felt mentally when I was released from my big church calling; I now teach a very challenging Primary class of up to ten cute but high-spirited 6 and 7 year-old kids. I am often frustrated because I want to really teach them and learn with them, not just babysit for two hours each Sunday. Since I can’t control whether they learn or not, I hope at least I am learning what I should from this experience. Hugh is plodding along at work, as usual. He seems to live from one work deadline to the next with little joy in between. I wish I could change that, but I think only he can. I really appreciate that he provides for us – even though being the mom is usually thankless work, I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to raise my children full time. And truly, there are so many precious memories available for our enjoyment every day, if we only have the presence of mind to see them. I hope you are well and happy and learning something new every day.

(Yes, I know this is now almost 6 months old...I'm just a little bit behind!) Merry Christmas 2013, Our Dear Friends and Family! We hope our greetings find you well and happy! Steven, our oldest, turned 18 and graduated from high school in May, then left on July 10th to serve a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Salem, Oregon. I have sorely missed his pleasant presence, his good example, and the role he filled as mediator between parent and siblings. I miss his thoughtful gestures, his perceptive intelligence, his help around the house, and the fun we had together. We need to learn how to play games again without him! We look forward to his weekly emails, and I marvel at the wisdom and maturity he is gaining through this experience. He is discovering who he is, who God is, and how he can help others to that knowledge. We miss him immensely, but how could we want him anywhere else when he is doing so much good? Daniel, recently 17 and a junior in high school, is in the middle of his most demanding year of high school with ACT’s and AP and concurrent enrollment classes. Due to the right combination of hard work, talented players playing as a team, and a demanding coach, Steven and Daniel’s high school soccer team won the 2A soccer championship earlier this year. Daniel is looking forward to starting practices in January for the upcoming soccer season. After a frustrating summer of unsuccessful job-hunting, Daniel secured his first “real” job working at Shopko here in Spanish Fork. He spends a lot of time in his bedroom doing homework (“My life is all about Calculus!”), listening to music, playing his Nintendo DS, and reading. Julia, 15 and a sophomore, loves to learn about so many things! She plays the violin, guitar, and piano. She enjoys her cousins and friends, school (other than the 2-3 hours of homework nightly,) choir, orchestra, and soccer. She is a great example to us all in her dutiful daily scripture study and journal-writing. Michael, 13 and a freshman, is a very smart and gifted but reluctant pianist, violinist, and student. He enjoys friends (especially his cousin, Guts,) video games, and sports. He went through a brief time of fanatically collecting decks of playing cards, but that stopped abruptly when his money ran out. Michael is generally easy-going and has developed a soft spot for his little brothers Matthew and Jonathan. I have been pleased to watch Michael serve willingly in a leadership capacity in his church class, which sometimes requires him to do good things he doesn’t feel like doing. Alyssa will be turning 12 in January and is anxiously anticipating graduating from the children’s Primary organization at church and joining the Young Women’s program. Alyssa loves practicing gymnastics, drawing and making crafts (but not cleaning them up,) playing soccer, eating and baking treats (she and Natalie are the fastest cookie-bakers this side of the Mississippi,) playing with her cousins, and interacting with little children. She suffers frequent headaches, and we are still trying to figure out a cause and manage them better. She is still taking (forced) piano lessons, and I am hoping she will learn to enjoy it. Alyssa is part of the 5th/6th grade show choir at school, and while she is gifted with grace, she does not have an outgoing personality, so it has been fun to watch her try something that stretches her. Natalie, recently 10 and a 4th grader, is one of only two early-to-bed-early-to-rise, punctual people in a house of otherwise night owls and procrastinators, which is a constant source of frustration for her. (There are so many opportunities to learn how to live with different people in a big family like ours!) She is a die-hard BYU sports fan (second only to Hugh) and regularly watches the games and reads post-game stats and analyses. She is responsible about getting her homework done and is already studying for the big school spelling bee coming up in January. She plays the piano usually willingly and is progressing well. More often than anyone else in the house, she ambitiously makes waffles or multigrain pancakes from scratch for the whole family. Matthew, who just turned 8 and was baptized, is a fun, energetic little 2nd grader. I was recently thinking about how amazingly pleasant he is compared to what a difficult baby he was! Matthew loves his family, friends, school (especially math,) sports (especially soccer and basketball,) and video games (some favorites being “Plants vs. Zombies” and “Don’t Starve”). He loves to watch BYU sports with his dad and siblings. Matthew takes piano lessons willingly but without enthusiasm, but again, I hope that will come as he develops the skills and realizes that he can be good at it. Emily is 6 years old and in 1st grade. She is excited about doing well in school, making new friends, reading, piano, and soccer. She spends most of her time after school playing with her little sister, Katelyn, and occasionally with friends (I have learned that attending a charter school 4.5 miles away makes it harder for children to maintain friendships in the neighborhood.) Emily and Katelyn are very much into Barbie and My Little Pony. They enjoy dressing up, role-play, and coloring. Katelyn, 4, gets the best of both worlds with a little brother to play with during the day and a big sister to play with after school. When she isn’t playing with her siblings, she likes me to read to her or play card/board games with her. She loves visits from Grandma Dosdall and Aunt Jeannie, when she has someone’s undivided attention, which is such a great blessing to me and the kids. Nearly every night when we are gathered for family prayer, Katelyn says she is grateful “that Jon-Jon is cute, and for my sweet Mom.” Melts me every time. Our baby will turn 2 in January! Jonathan is adorable and adored by everyone in this family. He has flaming red hair, blue eyes (unique in our family) and his own opinions. He loves his daddy more than anyone or anything in the world, which makes my life interesting when Hugh is not available and Mom just won’t do. Jonathan loves pushing buttons, throwing and kicking balls, and getting into things. He still doesn’t talk much, but we sure delight in watching him learning new things all the time. Hugh continues to plod on in his tax accounting job for the LDS Church in Salt Lake City. The commute has now stretched to nearly two hours each way – so I am pushing harder for a deadline on either a new job or a new house closer to the job. In any case, we appreciate how hard Hugh works to provide for us. Hugh makes an effort to take the kids to at least a couple of concerts on Temple Square each year, as well as various BYU football, soccer, and basketball games when possible. He continues to play the organ and teach the adult Sunday School class at church. As for me, I was recently released from a nearly three-year stint as president of our congregation’s Relief Society (the women’s organization.) I am grateful for the lessening of my burden and responsibilities, but more than that I am grateful that I had to do things which pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me to grow. I am now teaching 8 year-olds in Primary, and that will be wonderful, too. This has been a difficult year for me in many ways. I have struggled with challenges which have caused me to question my beliefs and even lose my faith for a time. I am coming out of that dark place with deeper empathy for others, a greater capacity to love, and an understanding that my belief is a choice. I had to ask God, “If you are really there, and if you love me and have power to help me, please let your light and power shine through me to make the world a better place, and make me more than I can make of myself.” I choose to trust in the power and grace of Jesus Christ to heal my sorrows and help me to see and then overcome my weaknesses. And so I hope for you: enough joy and sorrow, health and sickness, peace and turmoil that you learn to recognize the difference, and most of all, that you always choose light over darkness.

Here I am again, finally! I have been THE WORST writer lately, partly because my life is busier in some ways than it has ever been, and partly because I don’t enjoy writing. Just a warning: this is an epic letter. You are under no obligation to read it in its entirety! But for my children’s sake, I have to keep some sort of record of our family life, because sadly, I have noticed that my brain puts most of its power into getting through day-to-day life and very little into remembering! I hope that even if I can’t remember as much of what happens to me, my experiences are changing me and making me a better person. So maybe I’ll start right here with difficult but good experiences. Ever since our church announced last October a change in the minimum age for young men and women to serve missions, I have anticipated that it was very likely that Steven, our oldest, would choose to serve shortly after he turned 18 and graduated from high school in May. And I’ve often heard other parents at the occasion of a child’s marriage or the birth of a grandchild talk about how the time just flies – and so I knew it was coming. But somehow it caught me off guard how suddenly, this young man who is my oldest son, and who has become a companion and confidante to me and a friend and hero and role model to my other children, is leaving us. He is going off to help people, to give people hope through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to be an example of living the Truth. I know he will learn things while he is serving that I could not teach him. So of course, there is no other place I would rather have him be and nothing more worthwhile I would have him doing. But I sure do miss him, and I am mourning the beginning of the end of this stage of our family life. Granted, Jonathan is still just a toddler, so we still have a long time yet with children at home, but I realize that about every year or two now one of my children will be leaving to serve a mission or go to college. And hopefully they will go out and make a difference for good in the world – isn’t that what we raise them to do? So Steven finished out his senior year of high school, suffering some major senioritis. Fortunately, he wasn’t taking a lot of classes, because the ones he took were very challenging. That last semester he ended up taking three AP classes and an independent study Physics class, which was necessary in order to fulfill the requirements to earn the Utah Regents’ Scholarship, which is potentially worth $5000-$6000 toward school expenses. Steven was given a full tuition scholarship to BYU, which he can renew if he keeps his grades up. I have had to figure out how to tread the thin line between being controlling when I want something for my children other than what they are choosing, and letting go enough that my children can own the consequences of their decisions. That said, Steven’s grades could have been higher, and Steven was pretty much just one Eagle Scout project shy of earning his Eagle Scout rank. Of course, we are excited that Steven was called to serve a mission for the LDS Church in Salem, Oregon for the next two years. We are excited to see how his specific gifts and talents will be put to use and developed over that time. We will miss his musical talents – he accompanied the ward choir as well as many special musical numbers at various church meetings. Playing the piano at home served as a de-stressor for him, and for such a logical, reasonable person, he plays with such emotion and feeling that I always loved to hear him play. Hugh and Steven performed a Rachmaninoff piano/organ duet for the Sacrament Meeting at which Steven gave his farewell talk. During his last six weeks at home before he left for the Missionary Training Center on July 10th, Steven spent lots of time with his good friend, Dawnika, and her family, whom he loves. Steven picked up some odd jobs through a temporary work service just because he wanted the experience. He also attended our Sacrament Meeting with us and then the singles ward with Dawnika most Sundays during the six weeks after he graduated. His lack of fear in facing new situations and his confidence in his own ability both scare and comfort me as I watch him enter this new stage of his life and ours. We spent a lot of time playing games together during the last few weeks he was here. Knowing our time together was almost over made that time even more precious. So Daniel, our 16 year-old, is now the oldest at home. I’m curious to see how Steven’s absence will affect the family dynamics. I’m hoping it will give Daniel the opportunity to figure out who he really wants to be. He has resented/resisted the expectations and comparisons he has felt his whole life being “Steven’s little brother” despite our efforts to help each child feel loved and valued as unique individuals, apart from what they can or cannot do. Daniel has taken on more responsibility with his siblings, and it has helped me as well as being good for his relationships with them. Daniel and Steven both worked hard as members of the high school soccer team, and it was fun for us as a family to watch them progress through the season and end up state champions in their division. Daniel was especially disciplined in his daily workouts as well as in watching his eating and sleeping habits so that he would be at his personal best. Their coaches had a great influence on them, and I as a parent appreciate the sacrifices of so many adults here in our community to help our children turn out well. Daniel has his driver’s license and got some valuable training through a Highway Patrol driving course his Uncle James got him in on. Daniel is excited to now be legally allowed to drive people outside his immediate family. He was hoping to be driving himself to a job all summer, but it hasn’t worked out and that has caused him a lot of frustration. Because I encouraged Daniel to attend a couple of youth camps/trips early in the summer, he wasn’t available when other teens looking for the same jobs were. I know it bothers him to be stuck in the house all day – as well as being stuck financially and socially, since we won’t pay for a cell phone and movies with friends and those kinds of things. He is quiet but wants to be more social than he is, and he does enjoy having some Facebook/email time. Daniel is really good at graphic design and solving puzzles, so I proposed that he figure out how to preserve all of our home videos in at least two different types of digital formats. In return, we’ll pay his competitive soccer club fees. Daniel spends much of his time alone in his room reading or playing brainy games (supposedly) on his Nintendo DS. He worked hard in school and earned all A/A-, as well as earning great scores on his AP American History test and the ACT. This week Daniel and Julia have been at EFY – Especially For Youth – a church-sponsored week full of activities and inspirational talks for youth. Daniel says this is not really his thing, but he went willingly and told me each day that it was “fine” or “goot” (German for good). Julia just turned 15 years old this week. We gave her the option of skipping the evening activities at EFY on her birthday so she could come home and do cake & ice cream and presents, and she said, “No, I’ll be fine. We’ll just pretend my birthday is on Saturday.” Wow, she is a patient girl! She’s the same girl who will get a package or card in the mail three days before her birthday, and will voluntarily save it to open on her birthday. She must get that from her dad, because she certainly doesn’t get it from me! Julia is enthusiastic about learning and trying everything. Like Steven, she is not afraid to try new things. She wants to learn five different instruments (piano, organ, violin, clarinet, and guitar,) so she decided that she would practice one of them each weekday during the summer. She hasn’t been very consistent in her practicing, but I love her enthusiasm! She finds too many things that she wants to do, so doesn’t always finish what she starts. But she is a great organizer of “Wilkins Restaurants” in which she and her cousins go to great lengths to plan themed meals, make decorations, customize menus, and coordinate all the jobs involved in running the restaurant (including cooking, serving, set-up and clean-up.) The girls invite all the local relatives, as well as an occasional family friend. It’s quite the production. Julia has been busy with some of the same youth activities as Daniel, and she will be attending Girls’ Camp in August. Julia is generally very willing to take care of some of her siblings if I need to run errands, and that makes my life much easier. It was fun to sort through her school papers and see what a good little artist she is – I would love to be competent at as many things as she is! She is also a very conscientious student, and ended her first year of high school with a 4.0. Michael is my long-haired boy. I was counting on the charter school to write him up for his violation (boys’ hair is not allowed to go past the eyebrows) and they never did, so I will probably have to suffer through the entire summer without getting a good look at his eyes. I can’t tell if Michael likes to hide behind his hair, or if he just wants to make a statement about his independence, but I figure that this issue is not as important as many others, so I’ve chosen not to make it a battle. He was named “The Human Calculator” and “Most Likely to Become President” by his classmates. Michael has spent a fair amount of time playing board games, learning card tricks (and performing them very well), doing origami, and amazingly, even reading. Michael would play electronics all day and watch movies late into the night every day if I let him. He and Julia plan to take over Steven’s spot playing the organ in Sacrament Meeting every third Sunday. He is a master Boggler, regularly coming up with 5- and 6- letter words, compared to my measly 4. He has been teaching Alyssa and Matthew piano lessons this summer, which is great because I want them to learn and he wants a way to earn money (though lessons have occurred somewhat sporadically.) Michael loves to hang out with his cousin Guts and has warmed to his little brother, Matthew, which is wonderful since they now share a room. Alyssa is my sugar addict. She asks nearly every day about buying or making some kind of treat. She is always willing to share, but I’m trying to help her change her tastes before the bad habits catch up to her. She loves to do gymnastics and has learned to do a lot of things on her own, but she is daring enough that she injures herself often enough that I don’t know if I should just let her try whatever she thinks she can do. She hates piano but could be very good at it if she put even a little effort into it. My challenge is figuring out how to get her to want to do it, because the benefits of learning to do something hard, especially music, are plentiful enough that I won’t back down on this one. Alyssa went with her cousin, Josie and the rest of the Wright family to Oregon to visit their grandparents for five days in June. She had a great time and loves to be with Josie, wherever they are. Alyssa and Michael have been trying to come up with money-making schemes which seem somewhat shady to me, like pulling apart old calendars and selling the individual pages as posters to their little sister’s friends. Creative, but I’d much rather give them extra chores to do to earn money. Natalie has been missing Steven. Steven was one of the only people in the house who did not regularly annoy her. She appreciates his taste in music and his maturity in not reacting to her impatient reactions. Natalie is very particular about her music - it really bugs her if anyone whistles, hums, or sings. She used to listen to music constantly, but has hardly turned on anything since Steven left, probably because he left so recently that it is still too painful a reminder that he is gone. At least that’s how I have felt. But it’s getting easier as we get used to the idea. Natalie likes to watch America’s Got Talent, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Studio C, and Wheel of Fortune (believe it or not) as much as I will let her. When I arrive somewhere on time, often it is due to Natalie’s prodding. Matthew loves to play with friends, but is not as motivated as he once was since he and Michael are now buddies. He loves to build things with Legos. He loves to play electronics enough that he is willing to do extra chores and even keep his room clean in order to earn time to play. Following Michael’s example, Matthew has a dozen or so silicone wristbands halfway up his arm. He recently had a nasty reaction to a wasp sting which made most of his left arm hot, red and puffy, the skin tight like a balloon. After more than two days and a trip to the doctor, the swelling finally started to go down. Now he’s back to normal, though he will likely have a similar reaction each time he gets a bee sting, so we’ll have to be careful to ice it as soon as it happens to minimize the reaction. Emily, who finished Kindergarten this year and will be turning 6 next week, loves to play with friends. She has lots of playmates in the neighborhood, so it’s hard to put her off if her first or second attempts to play with a friend are unsuccessful. I would usually prefer that she just play with siblings for two reasons: 1. Sometimes her friends are just plain mean. I can’t believe how much drama goes on with these six year-old girls! I have little tolerance for that kind of behavior. 2. I don’t know who instigates it, but I’ve found that sometimes kids do things they know they’re not supposed to do just to look “cool” in front of their friends; siblings know better what will get them in trouble with Mom. Emily loves to dress in skirts and dresses and girly things. She reads well, but I fear my inconsistency this summer has stunted her progress. She sometimes has an obsessive attachment to Alyssa, maybe sometimes because Alyssa sticks up for her, and other times when she needs an excuse to disobey me. She and Katelyn both love Barbie movies and My Little Pony. Emily, Matthew, Natalie, and Alyssa all took swimming lessons last month, and Emily did especially well because she loved it and was willing to try whatever her teachers asked her to do. She often tells me unexpectedly, “I love you, Mom!” and I’m always happy to hear that. Katelyn is very cute but acts like a youngest child (which she isn’t) much of the time. She gets whiny when she doesn’t get what she wants. And we just can’t seem to get her potty-trained. Julia has worked with her and has made some progress, but we’re at an impasse. I’ve been pretty patient (or maybe just resigned?) thus far, but I think I’m going to pull out the big guns on Monday and lock her in the bathroom with nothing but a few books to keep her busy, no diaper, and a potty, and not let her come out until she produces the messy stuff in the potty. Of course I’ll bring her some food, but hopefully it will be a boring enough day that she will be motivated to go on the potty after that. If not, we’ll do it until she gets it. One thing I love about Katelyn is that she wakes up every day with a smile on her face, and she greets me with an enthusiasm that tells me she knows I’m happy to see her. If only all my kids felt that every day! Katelyn must have music playing in her head because half the time she dances around wherever she goes. She has such a cute little mischievous face, you always suspect she’s up to something. Somehow, she manages to be delightful anyway. She is notorious for stealing other people’s treats. I discovered her recently stealing her sister’s chips and told her, “She will be so sad if you take her chips.” She corrected me, “Her not be sad, her will be mad!” She defended her disobedience in leaving her bedroom after I had already tucked her in by explaining, “I didn’t want to go out, my feet wanted to!” She still doesn’t pronounce her “r’s” correctly, and we all love to hear her say things like “I’ggh” (arrgh) and “hights” (hearts) and “doy” (door). Several times when I have been tucking her in at night, she has told me “I hope a package of Barbie toys will come to our house tomorrow.” I don’t think she understands that things don’t just show up when you wish for them, nor does she understand that I am in de-junking mode right now. Jonathan is 18 months old. He is such a funny little guy. For at least six months now, he has been in the habit of hitting his head on things when he is upset or wants attention. Daniel has told me several times that I need to take Jonathan to a psychiatrist to have him evaluated because he has probably already caused himself brain damage. At first, I laughed at his funny joke, but then realized he was serious, and wondered whether I should be worried, too. Jonathan is always the first one to fold his arms whenever we say the word “prayer”. Jonathan has picked up some pretty good soccer moves from watching his siblings play. He is not a superstar talker, so it is startling to hear him say his favorite word, “Uh-oh” very clearly and in a surprisingly low baby boy voice. Jon-Jon loves his dad. 99 times out of 100 he would choose his dad over me, and yet I adore the boy. It’s the whole package – the soft, round little features, the sometimes shy, innocent gaze, the fiery red hair with the adorable eye-of-the-hurricane cowlick on the back of his head, the determination packaged in that tiny little body that makes it possible for him to scale beds and tables and counters to get to things he should not. He has not been my cuddly boy since he was about eight months old, but I use every excuse I can to pick him up and squeeze him until he wriggles out of my grasp to go find some other trouble. Did you make it through all ten kids? That’s a lot of words to read, because that’s a lot of life to sum up! Isn’t it crazy and wonderful? Just a quick report on my adventures: Hugh was kind and brave enough to let me go to Michigan in June to be with my parents and six of my siblings. I treasure our late-night conversations, delicious meals, and most of all, the relationships I have with each of them. After those five days of relaxation, it was a bit of a shock to come back to my normal life with all the demands and responsibilities that go with the life I have chosen. But I am grateful for it, and though sometimes I feel like I’m treading water just trying to stay on top of everything, I also have many moments of joy and a peace that what I am doing is worthwhile. I’m grateful that Hugh is such a constant, steady force in my life, and that he works so hard to provide for us. I may not feel it every minute of the day, but when I am conscious enough to notice it, life is wonderful.

Merry Christmas 2012, Everyone! We hope our greetings find you well and happy. We are well and happy most of the time, and we are more grateful for the times when we are well and happy because of the times when we are not! Life is busy but good. I will attempt to give a brief update on each of the wacky but wonderful people in our family. Steven is 17 years old and a senior in high school. He loves: listening to an eclectic assortment of music, volunteering in Matthew’s first grade class, playing the piano (composing and accompanying various performing groups,) spending time with his good friend, Dawnika, soccer, teaching piano lessons, and reading. He does not love: filling out college and scholarship applications and doing/turning in homework assignments. He is looking forward to serving a full-time, two-year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, probably shortly after graduation since the minimum age for service was recently changed to 18. Steven is a great example to his siblings, a kind big brother and son, and a responsible leader of his church class. Daniel is 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. He loves: soccer, weight-lifting, rubber duckies, graphic design, writing code for computer applications, technology, his baby brother, playing video games, and bugging his siblings. He does not love: genealogical indexing of public records (but is conscientious about fulfilling his service requirement for NHS.) He looks forward to: maybe getting an iPad so that he can learn Mac programming language and writing his own apps to earn money, and someday getting enough driving time to appease his parents so that they will let him get his driver’s license. Daniel has maintained excellent grades despite a tough academic and extra-curricular schedule. Julia is 14 and a freshman in high school. She loves: learning about all different things, math and science, writing, reading, being with her cousins, playing the piano and violin (and wants to learn to play guitar, clarinet, and cello – but there are only so many hours in a day!) soccer, cooking/baking, and organizing projects. She looks forward to earning enough money through her babysitting job to purchase a guitar. She kept busy this summer with Girls’ Camp, BYU education week, and EFY (a church-organized week of inspirational talks and fun activities for teenaged youth.) Julia is very conscientious about fulfilling her responsibilities, whether in regards to completing assignments in school, caring for her siblings at home, or doing what is asked of her by her church leaders. Michael is 12 and in eighth grade. He loves: his frienemies (a term used by Julia characterizing the rough-and-tumble interaction among Michael’s group of friends,) soccer, electronic/video games, board games, and his youngest siblings Katelyn and Jonathan. He does not love: school (boring), reading (except about 5 or 6 series he has cycled through multiple times,) piano lessons (though he is a gifted pianist,) Scouting, or getting his hair cut. Michael won the school spelling bee and went on to compete (and tied for third) at the regional bee, though he did not win the spot in the national bee. Michael pretty much single-handedly persuaded us (through a well-researched power point presentation and persistent prodding) to take a family trip to Disneyland, which we did in October. Alyssa is 10 (nearly 11) and in fifth grade. She loves: drawing, music, candy, making sweets, dancing, crafts, soccer, giving her little siblings “rides”, pretty hair, and making things look nice. She does not like: headaches, piano (though she is talented,) cleaning up her crafts, competition, and waking up early. Alyssa is a cute and competent (though shy) member of the school’s elementary show choir. Natalie just turned 9 and is in third grade. She loves: reading, piano, math, more reading, playing with cousins and siblings, waking up early, still more reading, Tetris, and playing board games. She does not like: being late. Natalie takes pride in finishing first, and she is amazing at sharing with others. Matthew just turned 7 and is in first grade. He loves: friends, video games, elephants, machines, playing complex board and card games with his older siblings, Legos, creating things from our recycle bin, soccer, and having Steven volunteer in his classroom a couple times each week. He is a master of melodrama. You have to admire the enthusiasm (intensity) and energy in this cute kid! Emily is 5 and in kindergarten. She loves: My Little Pony, Barbie, hot chocolate, her unicorn pillow pet, coloring, drawing, painting, taking piano lessons from big brother Steven, playing with friends (including her best friend/worst enemy, little sister Katelyn,)and school. She makes me smile with her malapropisms, like “It’s not modest when people wear zucchinis (bikinis).” and “Why does Matthew’s head not need to be teleported (supported) in a big car seat like mine?” Emily is generally helpful and easy-going. Katelyn turned 3 in October. She loves: drawing and coloring, snitching treats (from the pantry or dad’s dresser or wherever she can find them,) hot chocolate, playing with her siblings, playing dress-up with Emily, singing, looking especially cute and animated when she thinks she might get into trouble, being read to, and watching Dragon on Qubo. She makes us all smile with her Katelyn accent; sister and brother become “sis-tah”and“bruddah”; door and car become “doy” and “kye”. Jonathan is the new addition to our family since our last letter. He will be one year old on January 18th. He loves: his parents and siblings, crawling around the house finding bad things to stick in his mouth, making us laugh with his funny gasping and satisfied exhaling sounds, fussing and crying when his baby life is just too exhausting and frustrating, dancing, pounding on the piano, looking at his beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous, bright red hair in the mirror, making messes, and just generally being adored by everyone in the household. Hugh keeps busy with his 2-3 hour daily commute, his job preparing tax returns and doing tax research for the LDS Church in Salt Lake City, attending BYU sports events and concerts with our kiddos, taking his turn at teaching Sunday School and playing the organ at church, and being the dad. Hugh had the opportunity to take Steven and Daniel with him to Germany, Austria, and Switzerland for three weeks this summer when he traveled there on business. It was an eye-opening experience for the boys and a great opportunity for Hugh to show them some of his favorite places from his mission experience in Germany. My greatest joys and frustrations come from being a mom and wife. I cherish all of it, and I hope I am blessed with enough wisdom to do it right. I have learned a lot in my calling as president of our congregation’s Relief Society (the women’s organization of our church.) It adds to my workload, but it has also forced me to face some of my fears and to see more beyond myself, and I am very grateful. What a sweet thing it is to remember that because our brother, Jesus Christ lived and died for us, we always have cause to hope. Our wish for you is that you will carry that hope with you - not just during the Christmas season - but in every season, and let it change you and make you more like Him. With love, Ann and Hugh Wilkins and family