I have to say that insomnia ranks almost right up there in terms of FMS symptoms along with the pain. And of course not enough sleep just makes the pain worse.
I haven’t posted anything lately on here (my “rant” blog) because I haven’t felt like complaining LOL! I just get this need to whine and complain once in a while. The best part about writing it out is I don’t have to listen to myself complain and neither does anyone else! Well, unless you’re reading this and you always have the option to click off the page.
Tonight/today, my FMS is ticking me off. I HATE IT! But, I think what I can’t stand more are the people who seem to think that my FMS symptoms are one or all of the following: (a) it’s all in my head, (b) I’m just lazy and using FMS as an excuse not to do anything/work, or (c) I’m a drug seeker or an attention seeker. I’m sure there are other things people come up with but you’ll have to excuse me, I’m having a “fibrofog” moment.
Let’s see for one IT IS NOT ALL IN MY HEAD! One of these days someone is going to say that to me and I’m going to slap them upside their head.
As for lazy… you have got to be kidding. Anyone who knows me knows the opposite is true. Besides all the normal stuff everyone does, I actually enjoy being active and get quite upset when the pain is so bad I can’t move. I’ll take being able to go for a nice long walk on a sunny day over laying on the floor squirming in pain any day! Not work? I’d go crazy sitting at home all day with nothing to do.
Drug seeker? Now that’s funny. Dude, I spent 20 years fighting the pain without any help from meds before I finally couldn’t take it anymore. And then I get grief for asking for tramadol. And before anyone says anything, YES I have tried other medications. NONE of which worked for me. Not even the anti-depressants that doctors love to shove down the throats of FMS patients. Yes, I do take an anti-depressant but no the depression doesn’t cause the pain, it’s actually the other way around. You try living with pain 24/7 for more than 20 years and see if you don’t get depressed! What? You think it’s fun to miss out on doing things you enjoy or heck even things you don’t like doing like simple chores. I’d give my right arm to be able to do the dishes without doing my “pain dance” at the sink and trust me I hate doing dishes. Oh heck, I’d give up my left arm (and I’m a lefty) just to be able to walk down the street and not be instantly recognized by family/friends because I’m always the one holding either my neck or back.
Seeking attention? Uhhh not for this! Being known for an illness is not something I aspired to be when I grew up. I actually prefer to blend into the background. I want to be the person behind the scenes not the person out in front getting all the attention. Why? Simple, I like keeping quiet and just getting on with my work.
Some people just don’t get it and never will. I’ve given up on trying to get someone to understand who refuses to. For those who seem to think FMS isn’t real just remember when illnesses like Lupus and MS were also considered not real. Oh and do all us fibromites a favor read the danged research going on before you say a word. And I mean ALL the research not just articles written by psychiatrists who only care that they are going to lose patients and money.
Oh yeah and just in case someone does actually read this and you think you’re going to offer me a “cure”… go away and find some other sucker. Especially if you’re the quack from the website where for hundreds of dollars you can “cure” me by manipulating the bones in my head. Good grief, if I ever fell for something like that I would need more than the bones in my head fixed!
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