Everything Under the Son

It is hard to believe you are having your third birthday with Jesus. In so many ways, it seems like yesterday. I can't wait for the day when you can tell me all about your sweet life in Heaven. I know that is must be more wonderful than I could ever imagine, and that you are enjoying every minute. Your Big Sister Natalie is just sure that you are having the most grand of all birthday parties, complete with Happy Birthday sung by the angels, and a big "3" candle on your birthday cake! We are all looking forward to sending you our "Balloons of Love" tonight. Natalie reminded me this morning that you were waiting for them!

I hope you know how special you are to us, and that you are always a part of our little Jones Family; we aren't complete without you!

When you see me cry today, know they are bittersweet tears. I miss you like crazy, and yet I am overwhelmed with joy to know you are with Jesus forever, and I will be one day, too! And while I wish I were rocking you in my arms, I know that Jesus is taking good care of you!

Please give your Baby Brother Carson a BIG hug for us! Happy Birthday to my Hope!

I love you, my baby,
Mommy

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Dear God,

It's me, Hope's Mommy. I know without a doubt that you are taking great care of my baby. I know she feels the constant and unconditional love that every mother wants her children to know. And I know you know how my heart feels as I celebrate her third birthday without her. And even though I know you know all of those things, I want to make a few special requests for her on this day. Could you hug her extra tight for me tonight, and when you tuck her in, will you linger a little longer as you kiss her forehead? Will you whisper in her ear just how very much her mommy misses her and loves her? Will you wake her with a smile and a song, and will you fill her days with joy and love and peace? I KNOW you will!

And, God, thanks. Thanks for loving her even more than I do. As her mother, You are the ONLY one I could ever say that about. Thank you for Jesus, and the promise that through Him I will spend forever with You as well!

Kiss her goodnight,
Anne

So I am sitting here watching Oprah and am seeing some really amazing weight loss stories. One lady lost 530 pounds...yep, you read that right. 530 pounds! Unbelievable! Seeing people who had so far to go, but made the journey successfully is something that is so inspiring and encouraging. But I still sit here wondering what my problem is?

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but our thankfulness continues. We always celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas all together with Nathaniel's side of the family. It is the one day out of the entire year that the whole family is together, so we decided to make the most of it!

We always try to have some kind of craft for the grandchildren to do...something fun that will keep them busy while the rest of us work to get dinner on the table! This year, GrannyLu (Nathaniel's mom) had a great project for them! They all painted on bar soap, and it turned out very cute. Original works of art that can be placed next to the sink and enjoyed every day. (After the paint was dry, a thin layer of wax was painted over the tops to help the paint set. Then when you use the bar soap, you are using the soap from the bottom and the picture on top stays beautiful!) Here are a couple of photos of the kids working. All of them had fun making original artwork to take home!




Amazingly enough, though it was 85 degrees here only a couple of short days ago, we ended up having a White Thanksgiving/Christmas! The kids loved every minute! It began snowing in the morning, and continued all day, making for some great fun and some photo ops as well. Here are some pics of the grandkids enjoying the snow:







This morning we woke up to the beautiful layer of white fluff, and Natalie was overcome with the excitement that we would again go out to play in it. We donned our warm clothes, dressed in layers, boots, hats, and gloves, and away we went! The snow was perfect for building snowmen, and so that is exactly what we did. We were able to build two, and then we took these great pictures of the kids with them. As you can see, Levi insisted that he bring his lawn chair out and sit with the snowmen for his pictures...too cute!





The fun outside ended with a snowball fight between Nathaniel and Natalie. It is a game that is fun for everyone because there are no losers...only lots of cold people laughing away!






I hope you all had a great day...I know that for many, the holidays are a difficult time of year. I always miss my kids, but there is something about the holidays that is especially painful. I can envision our family having a snowball fight, but I can see two more little smiles in the mix. I am thankful for so much, and that list includes Carson and Hope. I am thankful that I knew them. I am thankful that we will be together again someday, and I am thankful for the ways those two kids made me better.

Let's not let the thankfulness end...after all, the Veggie Tales sing it so well..."A thankful heart is a happy heart"!

I am terrified. Terrified of the worldliness that I see all around me. Terrified of what the future may hold for my babies. Yes, I know they will not be babies forever, but let's face it, they will ALWAYS be my babies!

Today, as Natalie and I were driving to the store to pick up some groceries, I saw something that really alarmed me. Walking down the side of the road were three young boys. No, that isn't the alarming part...hang with me. As we slowed down to drive carefully around them, the youngest, who couldn't have been a day older that 7, decided to wave a not-so-friendly hello with his middle finger! I could not believe my eyes! My first reaction was, "Lord, please don't let Natalie see this." He answered my prayer. But then, as we drove on, I thought about so many things. I was terrified by what I saw!

I thought about how hard it is to be a parent. How hard it is to teach what is right and wrong...and even harder to teach the concept of "love the sinner, not the sin" to a four year old. (Quite honestly, this one is hard no matter what your age!) I thought about how difficult it will be to let her start school...homeschooling has always been an option, and on days like today, it is looking mighty good! I thought about the challenges that come with being called to live in the world but not be of the world. It's hard, y'all.

I guess what I have decided is that she is going to learn about the world, but I want her to do so with a filter. I want everything she sees, hears, and does to go through that filter. I want that filter to be God's Word. I want to fill her heart and her mind with God's words, God's teaching, and I want her to use that as the basis for all of her decisions. I want her to love as Christ loves, and I want her to live for Him. I want her to be armed with God's words, His love, His grace, as she lives in this world.

And in deciding this, I have realized that I have a HUGE responsibility to mold that filter. I must set the example and arm myself with God's words. I need to be sure that she understands right from wrong, and that she knows what it looks like to love others like Christ calls us to. I want to do the right thing. I want to prepare her to live her life running full throttle towards Jesus, and reaching out to take as many people with her as she can.

And when I think about that responsibility, I am terrified.



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On a side note, I have story I want to record here so that I never forget.

Natalie's Bible Class teacher shared with me tonight a beautiful thing that Natalie said in class. They were talking about Lazarus and how he was raised from the dead. She said that they were talking about death and how Jesus had performed a miracle. She told me that Natalie then piped up saying, "I have a brother and a sister who died." Then Teacher S told her, "Yes Natalie, and someday you will get to see them again in Heaven." Natalie's response was priceless...she said, "Yes. That's the happiest day of my life already!"

And then I wept. Her filter for death is that it is sad on earth, but the glorious crossover into Heaven! What a happy day it will be when we are all in Heaven together, Amen?!

It is just a couple of weeks away from Hope's third birthday. While the angels serenade her with a beautiful round of "Happy Birthday", we will be remembering her...celebrating her. We will have our traditional pink balloons, complete with handwritten messages and drawings from us, and we will release them to her. And, as usual, Natalie won't let us forget to sing a little "Happy Birthday" either!

As I think about her, I think of so many things. I celebrate her life, though it was very short. I celebrate her place in our family...our second child forever. I celebrate the joy that Natalie has talking about a sister, though she loves her brothers too! I celebrate the way that tiny baby showed me more about being a mommy, and more importantly, she taught me so much about Jesus and His undying love for me. I celebrate hope, and the knowledge that because of Jesus, I will live forever in Heaven, where there are no tears. I celebrate and I remember that tiny baby, and I miss her.

I'll admit that sometimes the holidays are hard. I think about my kids every day, but there is something painful about the holiday season without them. I'm just being honest, y'all. I wish they were here to eat turkey and spill their drinks on the tablecloth. I wish they were here to open Christmas gifts and take pictures in front of the tree. But they are not here...they are in Heaven, celebrating with Jesus. And someday, I'll join them.

We are preparing for the Christmas holidays when we will select angels from the angel tree who are the same age as Hope and Carson would be. That means that this year, we will try to find a three year old boy and a three year old girl. It is a special way that we can remember them, and give to others. A way of blessing someone in their memory. We think this is a very special tradition for our family!

So what about you? In what ways do you remember and celebrate loved ones during the holiday season?