Everything Under the Son

This morning was one of those mornings. Natalie decided she was going to test the waters and see just how much control she had around here. She decided she was going to be in charge, and she was going to scream, fight, throw fits...whatever it took to win. The battle started over something relatively small, but nonetheless, the war that ensued was huge. I love her so very much, and I want her to be happy. I want her to be happy all of the time, but I know that is not a reality. As her mom, it is my job to teach her things like right from wrong, and what is acceptable and not acceptable regarding behavior and making decisions. It's a hard job, but one that I take seriously. Let's just say that before 8:30 am, I had already wept three times over the events of the morning. Natalie had done her share of crying too.

As we talked through her behavior, I reassured her that I would ALWAYS love her, no matter what. I told her that I didn't always like her behavior, but that my love for her was forever, and given freely.

The more I thought about it, I knew that God understood exactly what I was feeling. We are His children, and He loves us unconditionally. His love for us knows no end. And like I felt with Natalie this morning, I know there are days when my behavior, my choices, my decisions make him want to sit in the floor and cry. I also know that no matter how bad it gets, God's love will always remain, and that He wants me to learn many lessons like right and wrong, what is acceptable in His sight, and what is not. I know that God would love for my life to be easy, but the reality is that there are lessons learned and wisdom gained from the not-so-great of this world. I know that in the end, God always wants what is best for me because He loves me more than anything, and that is exactly how I feel about Natalie.

So to Natalie - I'm sorry. I'm sorry that growing up is so very hard. I'm sorry that life can't be all about fun all of the time, and that you can't be in control of everyone and everything around you. But I am NOT sorry for loving you so much it hurts. I know that I am not anywhere near the perfect mommy, but I promise to continue to give it my best shot! I love you, sweet girl!

And to God - I'm sorry. I'm sorry for acting as though everything in MY life should be perfect and happy all of the time. I am sorry for the sin of wanting to be in control and for resenting the 'growing pains'. You ARE the perfect father in Heaven, always in control, and I am so glad that I can run to you always, and will forever find a place of comfort and love. I love you!

Today my kids are finally back at Mother's Day Out. I am spending the day catching up. Cleaning, organizing, and de-cluttering are all on the list! I have out the Lysol and Clorox Wipes to help me as I de-germ and try to get my house back in some order. 13 days of sickness has really taken it's toll, and I cannot stand one more day of it!

So I am off to work on the mess! Wish me luck!

Today marks seven years of marriage for Nathaniel and I. Seven years since we stood before family, friends, and most importantly God, and took vows to love each other forever. I love Nathaniel more today than I did on January 27, 2001. Through sickness and health, for better or worse...we have weathered the years, and we are better together.

Happy Anniversary Nathaniel! I love you always and forever, no matter what!

Today marks 6 years cancer-free for me! I remember parts of that day, six years ago, very vividly. I can remember how frightened I was. I remember Nathaniel kissing me as they wheeled me away for surgery, and I remember waking up in the recovery room wondering what the outcome would be.

So here we are today...six years later, and oh, so thankful. I am thankful for Nathaniel, for the way he stood by my side through all of the aftermath. I am thankful for family, who walked the road with me. I am thankful for my beautiful children, all four of them. I am thankful for Natalie and Hope and Carson and Levi, and I am thankful for how they all make me a better person. I am thankful for doctors, who allow God to use them each day to help people. Yes, I am thankful.

I give God all the glory for this. Praise be to God for His work in me. Praise be to God, for His immeasurable grace and mercy and love. Blessed be Your name!

Won't you join me today in thanking the Father for His gifts? Praise Him!!

And while you are talking to the Father, please remember to pray for all of those we know and love who are fighting the battle against cancer now. Let's pray for their healing, and comfort, and that God's hand be ever present in their lives!

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If you feel moved to do so, you can join the fight against cancer. You can join the search for a cure by donating to the American Cancer Society. With your help, we can be one step closer to finding a cure!

I made a trip back to the doctor yesterday with two sick children. We came out with a new diagnosis...the flu! Both of my kids had the flu shot several months ago, and now they both have the flu. So sad.

Needless to say, we are staying in to rest. We are trying to stay warm despite the freezing temperatures, and my children are restless. They have been home since Thursday, with the exception of yesterdays trip to the doctor, and they are bored out of their minds. Who knew that a house full of toys could be so "boring".

The scents wafting about include the menthol from the humidifier, Lysol, and Clorox wipes. I am hoping they are working overtime to kill those yucky germs. The last thing I need is for Nathaniel or myself to get the flu!!

So we pray. We pray for healing, we pray for the fussies to go away, and we pray for the boredom to subside. We pray that our attitudes are positive, and that the fights between the kids stay to a minimum. We are praying those germs are gone quick! Will you pray for us, too?

That's what we are around here...sick. Thursday included a trip to the doctor for little Levi, and ended with an antibiotic. He has had fever since then, and last night it was back up to 103*. After talking to the on-call doctor, we were able to get the fever down, and though he still has a low grade fever, he seems to be on the mend. It was so sad to watch him over the weekend. He is a busy-body and is not one to simply sit and snuggle. This weekend, however, he was content to just sit and be held. He felt terrible and it was obvious. So very sad.

Today, Natalie has had a slight fever, but hopefully we have been able to fend off whatever germs are hanging around, and she will be good as new soon! I cannot wait for some consistent weather! This cold-then-hot-then-cold is really doing a number on my kids.

This afternoon I was able to escape for a few hours to attend my OAM (once-a-month) cooking extravaganza! It was wonderful to spend some time with 'the girls' assembling meals to be frozen for the month. I came home with 10 meals and now my freezer is stocked! The recipes range from Taco Soup to Zucchini Meatloaf to Tater Tot Casserole to Pesto Chicken Tortellini. MMM! I can't wait to start cooking them up during the week. I already feel the load is a little lighter just knowing that the prep work is done!

On a different note, the sermon at church this morning was wonderful and oh-so-thought-provoking. I still have much reading and thinking to do before I make any comments, but I want to ask you the question that was posed to us:


Comments...

Levi may only be one year old, but his little imagination is working overtime.

The boy can whistle, and it is absolutely adorable!

He also decided to take two small Frisbees from a party goody-bag and turn them into burner covers in his little kitchen! Hilarious!

In true little boy fashion he feels the need to announce, "Toot", each time he does it. It must be a boy thing! I guess the good thing is, he hates to have a dirty diaper and comes to tell me when he needs a clean diaper. Does this mean potty-training will be easier?

I wonder what's next?

I am wanting to compile a collection of some scriptures for the new year. I need your help. There are so many good ones...the Bible is FULL of wonderful words of life. So what are your favorites? Do you have any that are speaking to you strongly as we begin the new year?

I cannot wait to see what you all are thinking about-praying over-meditating upon in this new year!

For two nights in a row, Levi has set the table for dinner.

I hand him four paper plates, and he takes them to the table. As he walks around the table placing them at each spot, he says, "Mommy's , Daddy's, Wevi's, Natwie's" It is perhaps one of the cutest things ever! Then he comes running back for the forks and repeats the trip around the table, placing them at each plate.

He may seem awfully young for 'chores', but someday, he just might have a wife, and she will thank me! :)

It has been a little while since I have shared some funny stories about the kids, so I thought I would share some today! It will be a nice break from the heavier posts I have had.

Natalie, having the FULL head of hair that she has, always screams when I am brushing her hair. I did it when I was little, and now she is following suit. Drama, drama, drama. Anyway, the other day I was brushing through Levi's hair after a bath and he yells, "Owww!", "Owww!" It was hilarious! Apparently, since Natalie screams, he thinks that is what you are supposed to do when mommy is brushing your hair. That guy is so funny!

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Today at the lunch table, this was the conversation:

Natalie: Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a mommy and work where you work.

Me: Great. Where do I work?

Natalie: You know Mommy, DFK.

Me: Oh yeah. That is a good idea.

Natalie: I need to learn how to work there so that when you die, I can work for you.

Hmmmm...interesting!

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I also wanted to check in with everyone on their life changes/resolutions. How are they going for you? Are you still determined?

As for me, things are going well. I have had some successes already, and I cannot tell you how good it feels to have made a commitment with myself, and to be sticking to it! It's going great in 2008!