The Bonnie Rait song is playing through my mind right now. I used to LOVE that song in my weepy teenage years and would dramatically play it over and over in my bedroom. Anyone else love that song?

Anyway, this morning I was reading my Bible and I read the passage "Be still and know that I am God. " I decided to be still and start praying. :) In my head, I uttered the words "Make me love you more, Lord." And almost immediately I felt Him saying, "I cannot make you love me". I realized the obsurdity of my statement. It goes against his nature to make me love him. I thought to myself, 'then how can I learn to love him more?' I remembered something I learned after being a mother one time around with Noah. I stupidly tried to make Noah sleep---something he tried with every ounce of his being not to do. When Wesley came around, the wisdom appeared that I couldn't make Wesley sleep. I could only give him opportunities to sleep. He would have to do the rest. And obviously, after awhile, he learned to sleep when I gave him those opportunities. God brought that to mind, I think, to tell me that he is constantly giving me opportunities to love Him more. Whether I notice them and take advantage is completely up to me.

Very rarely do I feel these clear lessons appear mentally while praying. So I hope me putting it to paper (or computer screen) helps you in some way in your desire to love God more. I believe one easy way is to find the wonder of his creation===especially here at fall time. So pretty! Please leave a comment if there is something that helps you in your journey to love God more.

I simply couldn't think of a creative title, so there you go. :) The Spicers are still here. Kickin' along. It's mid-October and the cool weather has swept in and left everyone a bit unprepared. But the trees are GORGEOUS and I've got to get myself out there to take some pictures. Our friend Paul Begin from childhood and Pepp is coming for a visit this weekend. We're very excited. He has had a rough year and we're so glad we get him for a couple days. I really love having visitors. I feel like I'm in my element when I'm getting ready for guests. I love cooking for people and through observations I've taken from other hospitable friends, I've learned ways to (hopefully) make people feel at home and comfortable. So please if you are ever in need of a little vaca, please come see me! :)

Let's see, how are we doing? We have much to be thankful for. Noah is having a great year so far at preschool. His teacher tells me wonderful things about him and he's learning so much every week. Noah is really into numbers and drawing. I would say those 2 things make up his study time. He can play on a calculator for an hour and recite various addition equations all day long. Now, doesn't that make the financial dork in me proud?! Would you believe the other day he said, "Mom, like, what are we going to DO in heaven???" And of course, being the not-so-short-with-words person I am, I started to remind him of the garden....and how Adam and Eve didn't have to work till they sinned....and so chances are we won't have to do any kind of "work" in heaven, etc etc. Well, Noah didn't sound very pleased and he said, "Well, I'm SURE they will atleast have calculators for me to work on up there!" Yes, dear, I'm sure they will. :) Noah is also doing Upwards soccer and LOVES IT. We love it to. Definitely a fun sport to cheer him on in!

Wesley. Now where do I begin with him? I'm head over heels in love with him. I mean it. I cannot stop kissing him and smelling him and loving on him all.day.long. He is absolutely adorable in everyway (aren't I humble?) and makes me laugh all the time. He's very bright and comes up with the most amazing statements. He has picked up a lot of slang and that's particularly funny. He still loves books and puzzles. He likes diddling around by himself but also adores playing with Noah. He was sick all last week, so of course I'm thrilled to have my little energy bug back in action.

Brian is doing well. He's super busy at work and continues to travel but I never cease to be amazed at his bright ideas and success, professionally. He'll actually be home for the next few weeks which is an unusual blessing this time of year!

I am keeping busy. I help lead a small group at my Friday morning Bible study. That is going well and I've met some really awesome people this year. Between cleaning, playing, and driving hither and yon I seem to stay pretty occupied. I will be going on a "girls" weekend with my best friend (and college roommate) here in the next few weeks and I'm really starting to get excited. It seems inconceivable that we will have eachother's undivided attention for 3 days (not to mention surrounded by gorgeous scenery). God has blessed my life with a husband who was eager to let me do this. After that we have family visiting for turkey day and then more family to go visit for Christmas. Many a good thing in store this fall/winter!

I made my first of apple and pumpkin pies this fall!! It has been so fun buying more local produce. We even bought eggs, cheese, and sausage from local farms lately. Man. cheese from a local farm is TONS tastier than the Kroger cheese I've been buying for years. Too bad I had to drive 40 minutes to get it. :)

Okay, signing off for now. Gotta go get ready to pick Paul up from the airport!

Sorry folks, this will seem like a doom and gloom post which I try to keep from writing much. But I'm in that kind of mood today. Our weather got cold this week. lows in the 40s, highs in the 50s. Almost 48 hrs after this started, both boys got stuffy. Now today Wesley has a fever. We were inside almost all day. This can't be the beginning. It can't. I'm simply not ready or mentally prepared to begin the days of 'Oh crap! Shut the door before the air bites off my face' yet. Now me being the dramatic person that I am must warn you that it will be getting back to 70 or so this week with lows in the 50's. So all hope is not lost. But it was really gloomy today and the sun didn't show and I just felt ick. Plus, the minute one of my kids gets a fever, it is. just.terrible. I feel like we're trapped in a closet. Now Wesley was acting mostly happy and normal today, so it should be no big deal right? But this is the season Bri travels a lot and the whole no warm sun thing coupled with any illness is pretty much my worse form of torture. This is when I long for family. I can beat down the door of any family member regardless of sickness usually and most definitely when I'm a loner. Then I don't feel like I'm in a closet, I feel like the old days of being a family and growing up together. We were always around eachother sick and it was no biggie. Which I could write a whole post right now on having these weird feelings of wanting to be a little girl again and having my old family back, etc etc, but I won't. It's depressing, slightly weird, and simply not gonna happen. Don't tell me you haven't ever thought that, because I don't want to hear it. I might just tell you that you're lying. :) And yes, I LOVE my family and my kids and my husband and we are jolly and I wouldn't trade them for a minute. So there is nothing to worry about if you are one to worry.

Two of my best friends in TX have delivered babies lately and so this could be part of realizing how absent I am from the life I knew for so long. I have one friend here who had a baby recently but that's it. Most of my friends are done having kids and so there is none of that to be a part of. Also, there are moments when I realize it's getting a little foggier for Noah to remember things about our life in TX and how pretty soon here, Indiana will be the bulk of his background.

Do you see what ONE MEASLY DAY of bad weather does to this girl??????!!!??? So leave comments that make me laugh or remind me of a memory with you or that tell me you are sending me lots of presents in the mail. Any of those will help. :) Hopefully tomorrow, being Sunday, and being "my favorite day of the week" as my Dad always told me will turn this mood around. I'll let ya know..........