So I never thought I would have to be scared of my children going to school. I never thought that it would make me worry so much. I never thought I would have to be upset because my almost four year old overheard a story on TV about the tragic event that took place Friday in Newtown, CT.

I never get to watch TV at home unless the kids are sleeping or it's really late. Saturday night around 8:00 after I bathed Kross and took my shower, I turned CNN on because I had not seen much about what occurred on Friday. Meanwhile, Kross is at the coffee table playing with his police cars and I overhear him saying, "I'm the police and I'm gonna get those kids..." He stopped once to ask me what I was watching. I didn't want to tell him because I know they can get scared easily at this age. I just told him I was watching some policemen. It wasn't a lie because the police were on tv. I cannot explain to my almost four year old that a man went into a school and killed 26 people and 20 were kids.

As he went to bed that night, he was screaming and yelling that he didn't want to go to school over and over again! Was this a coincidence, I don't know??  Normally he begs and begs to go to school. I did not see him watching the TV, nor did I explain what was on. But kids are smart and he very well could have understood what was on TV.

I pray that I never have to explain this to him. I am so deeply saddened for the parents of those young children and for the families of the administrators and teachers who lost their lives as well. No parent should have to worry about sending their child to school, and now parents all over the country are scared.

May all of the angels who lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary on Friday rest in peace and may the Lord give their families and friends strength to get through the coming days, months, and years without them.

The Spiderman in black is my brother's girlfriend's son, Cade. He and Kross really enjoyed playing together and we were really lucky that after about ten houses, they were tired and done!

This sweet little guy let us know when he was tired and that he wanted his bottle so he could go to sleep. He played possum and let my mom think he fell asleep while she fed him, but he didn't. He crashed out in the car. 

To say that I am behind on posting is an understatement! I don't know if I'll ever get caught up because it seems like I never get to sit down until it's bedtime.

Krew's first haircut went surprisingly well. I had alot of anxiety about it because he's very busy and I didn't think he'd like sitting still for that long. He never made a peep and wasn't bothered by it at all. It probably helped that it was about naptime too.

Most of his hair was in the back and it was starting to become more of a mullet. She evened it up and blended the sides better (since they're still a little bald), and he looks like a little man. That was the other reason that I wasn't real excited about cutting it since I knew he wouldn't look so much like a baby any more. He still does though.

Dear Krew,

How did I get so lucky to be your Mom?

As I reflect back on this day one year ago, I get tears in my eyes – happy tears, but tears, nonetheless. I remember it so vividly, like it was yesterday. The smell of my sweet newborn baby, the soft baby skin, and the little baby cries. You were this perfect, little gift from God. I couldn’t believe that we created another perfect little boy and I was literally on cloud nine the whole day! You were the best baby and just slept all day until you were hungry. Then, we’d hear you grunting to get up and eat. This lasted for four months. (The doctor said that was totally normal and fine.) At five months, you decided to wake up and show us your sweet, little personality. And you haven’t stopped since!

You have done things quite a bit later than your brother – like sit up, crawl, and walk, and that’s ok because you are your own person. I liked that I was able to use him as a comparison but quickly realized that you would not be exactly like him. One thing he did not beat you on was cutting teeth…you are a hungry one!

I was a little sad when we got your first haircut last Friday because I was afraid that you wouldn’t look like a baby any more. You still have so many baby attributes though…like those chubby cheeks. I can’t get enough of your cheeks and I constantly kiss them and eat ‘em up! You have lengthened out quite a bit, so I don’t notice the chub on your little body as much, but you still feel like you weigh a ton (or as much as your brother!).

I love to hear you talk. You can say Momma, Dadda, Baby, and Bubba. Those are the main things that I hear right now and notice the most. I think Baby is probably the sweetest. That’s what I call you most of the time, so that’s why you hear it so much.

You are definitely still a Momma’s boy and you love for me to hold you – until you see something that you want on the floor. Then, you will literally try to throw yourself to the floor. You also like to crawl and chase after your brother to try to get whatever toy he is trying to keep from you. You have no desire to walk because you crawl so fast – and that’s ok. I’m sure you won’t be crawling to kindergarten.

I can’t wait to see how your personality changes as you grow and to see the little person that you will be. I hope that you will always be happy. And I hope that you will be a kind, caring, and sweet person. The world needs more of those people.

Above all, I hope you will always know how much I love you.

I hope you have a wonderful first birthday, little man!

Love,

Momma

My whole house is sick right now. It's not fun. I feel bad for my babies because they have been miserable. They can't breathe, which makes sleeping really hard. Kross can take medicine, but Krew can't. I found these new "Tiny Cold Tablets" from the same company that makes the "Teething Tablets" and it's for babies 6 to 12 months old. I'm not sure how well they work, but I'll try it!

They were both fine on Friday and then both woke up Saturday with stuffy noses and congestion. Krew was up at 5:40 and Kross was up at 6:20. Krew had his one year pics on Saturday afternoon and I knew that there would be no time to reschedule them. I figured since it was just an hour, we could push through them.

Ask me how much fun it is to suck a baby's nose with the booger sucker. I think I'd rather pull my fingernails out! But, it is necessary to prevent the drainage from causing an ear infection. If I hear loose snot, I'm sucking it. I'm sure Kross is glad that he is no longer subject to the booger sucker!

Krew has a bad gag reflex so he gags at the drainage and spits up from it, so I was cleaning up a generous amount of that out of the carpet at 6:45 that morning.

Kross was pretty normal until Saturday night. Then, he was pitiful so he got to sleep in our bed with us. This never happens. He snuggles up to Daddy in bed and then decides to lay sideways in bed. I'm just glad his head ended up on my side!

On a positive note, I have been able to get in lots of snuggles with my babies. I'll even take the snuggles at 3:30, 4:30 and 5:30 on a Sunday morning. Krew woke up with a bad tummy ache and I think it was from the birthday cake that he ate during his picture session. Also, neither one of my kids has lost their appetite. They've both been eating very well.

I was dead tired and didn't know if I'd make it until bedtime. I attempted to sleep when the kids slept but poor Krew was crying out all through his nap, so I didn't sleep well at all. And Kross was moaning all through his and he ended up in bed with me again at naptime. Thankfully, my mom offered to help me yesterday afternoon, so we packed up and went to Nini and Pappaw's house.

This cold bug can go away! It seems like we just had this about a month ago!