The Man Who Knew Too Little

For two weeks or so, our toilet has not worked properly. If it sits all night, you get one decent flush in the morning. If you let it sit again all day, you get one decent flush at night. This has not been a bad problem because when I have work and school, that is about all I am ever home. It was an inconvenience on the days I spend with my kids because we would sometimes have to use one of the other bathrooms. With my finals out of the way and a tiny little break, I decided, this was my morning. While I knew this was caused by one part of the system, I decided the whole tank should probably be overhauled to prevent future repairs. You can view the results of my handiwork in the video below. Yep, rebuilding a toilet is just one of those things that REAL men do. While you don't get quite the feeling of accomplishment as say, rebuilding an engine, there is still a level of pride. Now, while I am out and about today I will just have to get a new water line that runs from the valve in the wall to the toilet tank. Apparently I sort of split the old one as I removed it from the toilet and it has a slight leak. Yep, breaking something here and there while in the process of fixing something else, is definitely what real men do too! :)

Dear Diary,

Every guy has dreams about the day some girl will propose to him. It is something that is ingrained in us I guess. I have thought of this day my whole life. I have thought of her down on one knee looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I think of the field of lilies we are standing in. I am even wearing my very best blue jeans. I think of her being willing to kneel in the dirt to set the right stage. I then hear her tell me all the reasons why she loves me and wants to marry me. I am so excited by this point that I am about to wet my pants. I cannot hear all that she is saying because sheer excitement has overwhelmed me beyond all control. I feel like the two of us are wrapped up in a cloud, and then finally she produces an enormous ring to fit around my fat fingers as she says, "Kent, will you marry me?" I tearfully reply, "yes, oh, yes, a million times yes!" We then hug, and share a tender kiss. That moment then quickly is a faded memory. Now I must fulfill all the dreams I have had about my wedding day, so I leave her standing in that beautiful field in search of a wedding planner to fulfill all my worldly wants and dreams!

Things don't always happen exactly as we envision them, but they can be equally special and beautiful. This is what happened today diary. I was talking with a group of people at work. I apparently said something that caused a few people to laugh (lol, I am SOOOOOOOOO funny sometimes). A laughing co-worker then said, "Kent, if you are ever stupid enough to think that getting married again is a good idea, I want to be your wife." Diary, you and I know that some people may think that wasn't an actual proposal. I know that it really was though. I asked the person, "did you just propose to me?" They confirmed what I knew with a laugh, and said, "yes, I think I did."

So let's compare:

• Certainly the field of lilies would be cool and all, but let's not underestimate the grey warehouse of a reputable and respectable business. Who can match that?
• So, she wasn't on one knee, but it is not like she is 6'4". She still was looking up at me, so, same thing.
• I was not wearing my BEST jeans, but there were no holes in them. Close enough.
• I was not really really excited, or ready to wet my pants, but I was certainly surprised. In fact, I was so surprised I almost did more than just wet my pants. So, it was even better.
• I didn't feel like the two of us were in a white cloud, but I did feel like I was in a dizzying fog. All that matters is they're both fluffy and you can't see anything else.
• I was not overwhelmed to where I couldn't hear all she said. I clearly heard every word and was even disturbingly lost in thought. But, clarity is important in situations anyway.
• While she may not have told me all the reasons she loves me, she did make a reference to me being stupid. That could be bad, but I think it is more important for her to be honest than to make me feel good. Integrity is important, especially in times like these!
• She didn't produce an enormous ring to fit my fat fingers, but there was plenty of extra cardboard for us to make some out of.
• I didn't really say "yes, yes, a million times yes,".............but, I did leave her standing there without an answer. No, not to plan a perfect wedding, but to continue on with my day at work.

I think after looking at these things, anyone could see it was perfect. Sure, it was not EXACTLY what I envisioned, but it was about as close as anyone could possibly get. Diary, I am sure some would consider this a really lame proposal, but you and I know they are just jealous!!!!

NEW EASTER CLOTHES

• We have a whiteboard and markers for the kids to color on. Yesterday, McQueen was coloring a bunch of black squiggles on it. He asked me if they were words. I said, "they are sort of words, but most words use the actual letters you learned." He then replied, "well, they are words." I asked, "well, what do they say?" He said, "how should I know, it is written in Spanish!"
• I asked McQueen to hurry and get his socks on while I did Tinkerbell's hair. He came into the bathroom saying he had done it. He then said "see" and started laughing, as he pulled up his pant leg for me to see MY socks which went all the way up his thigh.
• After the kids got their picture with the Easter bunny, McQueen took a look back at him and shouted, "hey, that is not the real Easter bunny!" I said, "what do you mean?" He said, "he only has bunny fur on the tops of his feet and the bottoms are shoes, I can see his shoes, that is just some guy in a costume!" At first I said, "maybe the Easter bunny needs to wear shoes to get around so fast." He responded, "DAD! Have you ever seen a bunny? They hop to get around fast!" I didn't really know what to say, other than, "oh, well, the Easter bunny must be so busy he needed to have one of his helpers here today." He seemed to be okay with that as he said, "as long as the real Easter bunny was the one who came to our house, that is fine, I guess."
• We were getting some popcorn at the movie theater today. As the girl was helping us, McQueen suddenly stated, "Dad, my bum itches........right in the crack!"

This weekend I just parked my kids in front of the TV! I know that this is not typically known as "good parenting," but I feel no remorse. Obviously we spent a lot of time watching conference. The kids were really good to at least sit and watch all of President Monson's talk. Although McQueen actually did fairly well at watching it, every once in a while he felt the need to complain about how "boring" it was. The kids did a great job coloring in some conference packets we had. They colored the ties of all of the Apostles. Tinkerbell loved coloring all of the pictures throughout. McQueen really loved this word decoder game where you figure out the last names of each Apostle. It was really cute to see because, while he is very smart, he usually does not take must interest in coloring type activities. Saturday night when I went to a session of conference, a lot of the cousins all got together at Grandma and Grandpa's, and had an unexpected Wii party. They challenged each other to games for a couple of hours and had a great time. Part of the Sunday afternoon session, we went for a drive and listened in the car. We drove up American Fork canyon as far as we could go (since all of the snow is not quite melted). Since we were driving around, I took some things to some relatives for my parents. By that time conference had ended and we wound up visiting with two families in my extended family for quite a while. We had a lot of fun talking, laughing, and catching up, and the kids had a lot of fun playing with new friends. We also went to a friend's house and hung out, and we laughed and talked while the kids played with their dog. The dog was doing all kinds of tricks and the kids were absolutely loving it. Needless to say, by the time four fun-filled hours had passed, bedtime was not a problem. It was a fun, though not super active weekend. We enjoyed and learned a lot from the messages this conference and we loved spending time with family and friends.

• When we were visiting at our friend's house and playing with their dog, McQueen somewhat mimicked one of the dog's tricks. Tinkerbell said, "Oh it looks like McQueen can do dog tricks too!"
• Often I will ask the kids, "Do you know how much your Daddy (or Dadd-o) loves you?" When I said that to Tinkerbell this weekend she responded, "yes, do you know how much your Tinkerbello (only with her real name) loves you?"
• When McQueen was doing his conference packet, he asked me for a different colored pencil. I said, "okay, do you want a green one?" He said yes. I then handed him a light green colored pencil. When he looked at it he said, "Oh good, I love 'booger' green." I said, "what did you just say?" He innocently replied, "I love booger green."

This is taking a lot of courage on my part, but I can't stand dealing with this any longer. No one really knows, but I have a drinking problem. This is something I have tried to keep to myself, but I feel like I should let everyone finally know. How can I get help for my problem if I am hiding it from the world. While I am not an alcoholic by any means, I do drink an occasional beer. The even bigger problem is that I don't really feel guilty during, or after drinking it. I know that I maybe should, and that is even harder for me to deal with. So, some may ask what my real problem is. Well, I like to drink my beer from a glass, "on the rocks" if you will. Every time I pour it into the glass, it foams up like crazy. I have to wait and wait for the suds to slowly fall before I can pour more in. It seems to take me 20 minutes to fill one glass from one can of beer. You would think this would give me time to deter myself from drinking it, but I still give in every time. So, there you have it. I have confessed, and I hope you all won't look at me any differently. Oh, did I mention that it is Root Beer? That MIGHT be an important thing for me to let you know. Happy April Fool's Day!!!! If anyone has any suggestions for my drinking problem I would love to hear them. :)