Hi everybody! I have purposely let a few weeks pass since my last post. I have had a few ideas rolling around in my head about what I wanted this post to be about, but the last few weeks have provided some intense "learning and growing" opportunities that have allowed me to see some things with a clearer perspective.
I wanted to take a minute to talk about sacrifice. When this whole experience came about for us, I thought a lot about what I was going to have to sacrifice to be obedient to this personal commandment Heavenly Father had given our family. For me, the biggest sacrifice was leaving my family and friends, all the people I have grown to know and love, and live far away from them. I thought about other sacrifices too, but this was by far the biggest one for me. When I ultimately committed in my heart that I was willing to make this sacrifice, I naively thought that the rest of our process would go really smooth- i.e.: we'd find the perfect, high paying job that would pay for us to relocate, money would start falling from the sky(or at least discover a long lost great-great aunt that had left us a gigantic inheritance),we could align our move-out/move-in dates perfectly, we could get to Texas with plenty of time to get the kids settled before they started their new schools, money would fall out of the sky...did I say that one already?, etc., etc. I know...I know...I said it was naive!! :) Believe it or not, but things aren't exactly mapping out the way I thought they would! :) That is the whole problem...I've been thinking about things in MY terms, not Heavenly Father's, and I've been thinking about sacrifice all wrong. Or maybe not wrong...I just haven't thought about the whole process of sacrifice.
I've thought a lot about Adam, and the altar that he built right after he was kicked out of the Garden of Eden. It was an altar on which to offer sacrifices to the Lord. It was made up of a whole bunch of big, round, super-heavy rocks, and then on the top it had two humongous flat pieces of rock that came together to form the top on which the sacrifice was to be offered. As I see this altar in my head, I think about the way it looks, and I think about those two broken pieces that make up the top part of the altar. To me, those pieces represent a broken heart, and a contrite spirit...two things that are required of us when we are asked to make a sacrifice. I have learned that the Lord asks us many times throughout our lives to build altars to Him. I always thought mostly about the "end result" or the thing that I was being asked to place on the very top of the altar...like in this case, the "moving to Texas and leaving all my friends and family" part. But there is so, so much more to the process. I guess I never thought about the hundreds of other rocks that had to be pushed and pulled and rolled and dragged just to be able to form a place for those top two rocks to sit on-- the "end result" place--the "last" part of the sacrifice..and the sweat, and tears, and body aches, and endurance, and faith that was required to keep placing rock, after heavy rock, after heavier rock. I guess that is the part of the process I'm at right now. I haven't yet made it to the end "moving" part, and I have learned that this whole experience isn't even just about that part. It is about me choosing every single day, sometimes moment to moment, to keep moving rocks, to keep building my altar, trusting in the Lord that the process of me working and sweating and crying and struggling--the part of the process that creates the "broken heart and contrite spirit" will lead to me being more like my Savior, and will teach me how to continually rely on the enabling power of the atonement. Also, I have learned that even though it can be a hard, intense thing--building these altars--that there is always peace and joy to be found. Heavenly Father is loving, and merciful, and patient--and He always sends "tender mercies" that can be found everywhere if I am looking for them. These tender mercies have allowed me to "whistle while I work", and I am so grateful for the opportunities I am being given to learn and grow and stretch my faith more than I thought possible.
I hope all of that made sense...it makes perfect sense in my head :) Thanks for reading and caring...love you all!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
You want us to what?!?!....
To the dedicated 5 of you who actually read my blog...sorry to leave you hanging at the end of that last post :) Meant to follow it up yesterday, but life happens :) Here is the story behind our new beginning.
It started with my husband going to the General Priesthood session of conference a little over a month ago. He went, listened, and came home just like he always does. But this time was a little different :) I asked him about the talks, etc. and if anything stood out to him. He kind of looked at me funny, and then related the experience he had had. I will sum it up :) As he was listening to the speakers, he heard a distinct voice inside his head that said, "You need to move your family out to the mission field." It took him by complete surprise, but he summoned up the faith to ask where we were supposed to go. As clear as day the voice specifically and gently said "You need to move your family to Texas." And that was that. I wish I could say that I reacted peacefully and calmly. But since this blog is me doing my best to be honest, I will just say that I acted less-than graceful about it. I will say though, that I 110% trust my husband and his ability to seek and receive inspiration, revelation, and direction for our little family. This is just an example of a time where the inspiration received came completely out of far, far left field. It surprised us both, to say the least.
As soon as I was able to have a calm discussion :), we both decided that we would completely leave the situation in Heavenly Father's hands. If He really wanted us there, then things would start happening to lead us there, and it would become really clear. So we both prayed for the next few weeks about it, and neither one of us got a clear answer about if we were really supposed to do it or not. It seemed so crazy!! So after a few weeks went by, we both (especially me) went phew!!, I guess we don't have to worry about that after all! The very next day a company started recruiting Derick, completely out of the blue, from...Texas. It kind of took all the air out of my big "Phew!!" :) And from then on, the ball just started rolling. Heavenly Father would send us experiences every day, practically shouting at us that this was His will for us.
Probably my favorite experience: I was driving out to my sister's house for her birthday party. It is about an hour's drive and I had the car completely to myself...a treasured gift :) Anytime I have the car to myself I take the opportunity to pray out loud, because the opportunity to have a quiet minute all to myself with my Heavenly Father seems more rare than it probably should be. So I prayed the whole drive down. I guess I should use the term "prayed" very loosely. It was basically me crying and whining to Heavenly Father about how this was way too hard for me, and it was unfair of Him to ask it of me. Pretty sure there was swearing involved. :) Luckily Heavenly Father is so, so patient, and merciful. By the end of my "prayer" I felt peace, like if I had to do it, I could...I still didn't WANT to do it, but I would if it is what He really needed me to do. At this point I am almost to my sister's house. I was just quietly thinking, minding my own... I still didn't know if it was what He was for sure needing me to do...when a car completely cut me off. I had to swerve into another lane to avoid being hit. Once I got over my initial shock, I looked down at the "rude" car's license plate...and the word Texas might as well have slapped me in the face. At that point, I'm pretty sure I started laughing. I got the point. I am so stubborn that it took me practically dying to get it, but I got it :)
Each day since then, Heavenly Father has continued to direct and guide our little family. There are moments when I feel like this experience will require more faith than I currently have, but through the divine grace of the Savior, a loving Heavenly Father, and the countless people I am blessed to have in my life who are so loving and patient with me...I know I will be made able. That doesn't mean I won't still have my tantrums and pity-parties...I know myself too well :), but I know that Heavenly Father's plan for me and my family is ALWAYS better for me than my own. He loves me so much that He will direct me to the very best plan that will provide me with the very most opportunities to rely on Him and my Savior. I know that if I just trust Him enough to follow His plan, it will ultimately bring me the greatest capacity for peace and joy in this life.
Time to take the big leap of faith...Texas...here comes the Turner family!!
It started with my husband going to the General Priesthood session of conference a little over a month ago. He went, listened, and came home just like he always does. But this time was a little different :) I asked him about the talks, etc. and if anything stood out to him. He kind of looked at me funny, and then related the experience he had had. I will sum it up :) As he was listening to the speakers, he heard a distinct voice inside his head that said, "You need to move your family out to the mission field." It took him by complete surprise, but he summoned up the faith to ask where we were supposed to go. As clear as day the voice specifically and gently said "You need to move your family to Texas." And that was that. I wish I could say that I reacted peacefully and calmly. But since this blog is me doing my best to be honest, I will just say that I acted less-than graceful about it. I will say though, that I 110% trust my husband and his ability to seek and receive inspiration, revelation, and direction for our little family. This is just an example of a time where the inspiration received came completely out of far, far left field. It surprised us both, to say the least.
As soon as I was able to have a calm discussion :), we both decided that we would completely leave the situation in Heavenly Father's hands. If He really wanted us there, then things would start happening to lead us there, and it would become really clear. So we both prayed for the next few weeks about it, and neither one of us got a clear answer about if we were really supposed to do it or not. It seemed so crazy!! So after a few weeks went by, we both (especially me) went phew!!, I guess we don't have to worry about that after all! The very next day a company started recruiting Derick, completely out of the blue, from...Texas. It kind of took all the air out of my big "Phew!!" :) And from then on, the ball just started rolling. Heavenly Father would send us experiences every day, practically shouting at us that this was His will for us.
Probably my favorite experience: I was driving out to my sister's house for her birthday party. It is about an hour's drive and I had the car completely to myself...a treasured gift :) Anytime I have the car to myself I take the opportunity to pray out loud, because the opportunity to have a quiet minute all to myself with my Heavenly Father seems more rare than it probably should be. So I prayed the whole drive down. I guess I should use the term "prayed" very loosely. It was basically me crying and whining to Heavenly Father about how this was way too hard for me, and it was unfair of Him to ask it of me. Pretty sure there was swearing involved. :) Luckily Heavenly Father is so, so patient, and merciful. By the end of my "prayer" I felt peace, like if I had to do it, I could...I still didn't WANT to do it, but I would if it is what He really needed me to do. At this point I am almost to my sister's house. I was just quietly thinking, minding my own... I still didn't know if it was what He was for sure needing me to do...when a car completely cut me off. I had to swerve into another lane to avoid being hit. Once I got over my initial shock, I looked down at the "rude" car's license plate...and the word Texas might as well have slapped me in the face. At that point, I'm pretty sure I started laughing. I got the point. I am so stubborn that it took me practically dying to get it, but I got it :)
Each day since then, Heavenly Father has continued to direct and guide our little family. There are moments when I feel like this experience will require more faith than I currently have, but through the divine grace of the Savior, a loving Heavenly Father, and the countless people I am blessed to have in my life who are so loving and patient with me...I know I will be made able. That doesn't mean I won't still have my tantrums and pity-parties...I know myself too well :), but I know that Heavenly Father's plan for me and my family is ALWAYS better for me than my own. He loves me so much that He will direct me to the very best plan that will provide me with the very most opportunities to rely on Him and my Savior. I know that if I just trust Him enough to follow His plan, it will ultimately bring me the greatest capacity for peace and joy in this life.
Time to take the big leap of faith...Texas...here comes the Turner family!!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
The Beginning
Welcome to my new blog! I am starting this blog because I am beginning a new journey in my life and I want somewhere to ramble about it all. Isn't that what blogs are for? :) In this post I want to talk a little bit about me and how I came up with the name for this blog. It had to be a long name, because I am a total word-geek. Let's just get that truth out of the closet right now. It also had to have a rhythmic flow to it, to satisfy my inner OCD that surfaces for air every once in awhile. I would classify myself as a super-average individual. And I don't mean that in a self-deprecating kind of way. I say it in a I'm-a-really-nice-person-just-not-super-interesting kind of way. I would say I'm one of the world's most talented "homebodies". I know it's a little early in our "writer-reader" relationship, but I'm going to go ahead and pull out a stereotypical Utah-Mormon favorite... I'm going to define that word for you straight out of the-- Webster's Dictionary. Yep, I'm gonna do it :) Homebody: a person who prefers pleasures and activities that center around the home; stay-at-home. That definition perfectly defines me. I am not an adventure taker. I have never had a real desire to travel. I would rather read about different people/places/things out of a really good book in the comfort of my own living room sipping on Diet Coke. I could eat the same kinds of boring food every day for the rest of my life and be content. When I go out to eat I find one thing on the menu I love, and I order it for the rest of my life. I am only telling you all of these un-interesting facts about myself to show you that I really am just an average, everyday homebody. An average, everyday homebody that is being pushed out of my comfort zone and into an adventure by my loving Heavenly Father. This blog will be an honest look at my failures and my successes, my learning and my whining. Here we go...
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