Here is our growing boy... another "holiday season" is passing us by. In my mind... it is just minutes, and days without my baby. Just taking each moment as it comes.

Notice the tear on his sweet face... breaks my heart!


I pray you all are finding the time to stop and really think about what this time of the year truly means. Casey and I have really thought a lot about how our world celebrates "Christmas". Nothing about it celebrates our Savior. May you find the time in all the business to thank God for his Son He sent for all. What a blessing!!! We have been blessed with so much that we do not deserve... HE is our gift... we should not want anything else...

May we all find PEACE in our Father's love for us this season...



"going private" is coming soon... got to find the time to enter in all the emails:)

Well, I have been tagged. I am suppose to post the 4th picture from the 4th album on my computer. This picture is appropriate for the holidays coming up... just wish he was here instead of there.

My grandmother went to be with Jesus today. She is walking the isle to her Father and to her husband she has been separated from for so many years.

After being sick for a short while, she passed away this afternoon. It was not our timing once again, but God's. He knew before she was sick that her days were numbered. Oh how I wish now I had that knowledge...

All her grandchildren called her "Mama". She helped raise us all. I spent most of my childhood days in her care. So many memories are flooding my mind this evening as I remember how special she was in my life. It hurts knowing She will never get to meet Nathan.
This is what she enjoyed most. Taking care of us. She desired nothing else, but to love on and care for her children. I take comfort in knowing now that Jesus is loving on her and taking care of her now. She is no longer in pain.

She was 80 years old, but a young 80. We always would "kid" her about out living us all. She was always so healthy. We never dreamed this would happen to our "Mama". I encourage you all.... take advantage of each moment. You never know when it will be someone's last.

Please pray for our family as we get through this holiday week. She has five children, 8 grandchildren, and 10 great grandchildren. She was one great mother and grandmother!

My baby boy is 17 months old... we miss him terribly!! I wish he were here this week for the thanksgiving celebrations. I never dreamed this is how this holiday season would go.






After many months of thinking... after tonight, I have decided to go private with this blog and our family blog. I really wanted to avoid this at least through out our adoption journey, but due to many reasons I cannot keep putting it off.

So, if you would like to continue following this blog please add a comment in the next week and give me your email address so I can add you to the list. I am not sure if there is a limit. If any of you know, please tell me. I have never done this before:). I am not sure at what point I will go private, but soon.


I hope you all understand. This has been in the back of my thoughts for a while. Things just happen that bring them to the front and now I cannot put it off any longer.

Keep praying for that baby boy... God is not done.

Case Update: Well, for those of you who don't know, we are in contact with our social worker weekly. We are receiving updates, I am just not blogging every detail. As far as where our case is right now... we are a little confused. We are trying to get some clarity and answers. Please PRAY that we we get answers soon. Pray that everyone is working together for the same purpose- TO BRING THIS CHILD HOME! There are days I do not even know if Nathan will come home- that is a REALITY for us. It is painful beyond words! There are other days I believe he will eventually come home. This gets me through, this give me hope. With where our case is going, it could even be another 6 months to a year before he is home- that is hard to swallow. But in the end, he is so WORTH THE WAIT!

Another holiday season is "knocking at our door". I do not want to answer. Can we just go straight to January 1st?? I am trying to be excited about our first Christmas in our new home, but something is missing... it will always be missing until he is here with us forever. I am also trying to focus on what Christmas is really about, and not what it is not. I would love to spend Christmas in Guatemala, but we need more answers before we make that trip again and before we leave him again. I need to know he IS coming home before I hand him back over for the THIRD time.

I know all of you who are following our journey are praying. THANK YOU. Please continue to pray. Pray that we can get direction and clarity in our case. Pray that all involved will be on the "same page". Pray for our Lawyer and his workers- pray that they do their very best in representing Nathan and us. Also pray for our sweet boy. He is growing, growing, growing. He is being taken care of so well! We are so thankful. Pray that God continues to prepare his heart for the day that he finally comes home.

Thank you for hanging in there with us on this nearly two year journey... we never dreamed we would still be here. God knew. God is here with us. He is the only way we are still here. He knows all.

"General information about Jose Pablo:

He is well. He is now walking by himself, probably why his weight didn’t change much. He’ll probably get smaller now since he will be walking it all off. Likes for someone to be around him. Doesn’t like to share his toys. He is wearing size 18-24month clothes"

no, no news. no new pictures. nothing. just me...

I wish so badly (more than anyone knows) that I had good news for all of you following our journey. All I can tell you is that I know nothing! Honestly, I do not even know where our case is. I do not know who or what is in charge with the adoptions anymore. I do not think anyone does. Frustrating.... beyond words.

What do we do?..."wait". I hate that word, but it comes out of my mouth daily when I answer the "famous question". The government, here or there, does not care that we are waiting with no end in site. They do not care that Nathan is stuck in an orphanage and who knows if or when he will come home to us. They do not care that it will be two years in December since we started this journey. They do not care that our son is thousands of miles away from us and who knows if he will come home. They just do not care. Who does care?? I know God cares, but why this route?? It makes no sense.

I know all the Sunday school answers. I am tired of hearing them. I run them through my head daily while arguing with each one. At this point... no one has answers for us. This is beyond comprehension. What are You doing, Jesus?? What is the purpose??

Selfishly I want life to move on. I am tired of this roller coaster. I wish I could just jump off. Just how long is this ride?? Of coarse I would want Nathan to be apart of the "moving on". That is why we choose to continue to fight. Nathan needs us to fight. We need to fight. If we don't, who will?

Imagine giving birth to your child then the "government" taking them away and placing them in a situation like Nathan's and telling you to jump through all kind of hoops in hopes to get him back. But who knows if you really will? That is our daily lives. Doesn't sound like fun, huh?

Pray. That is all I know to do at this point. God knows what is going to happen. He is in control. He is the only thing I have faith and trust in.

I am taking a break from the blog for a little while. I am not sure how long...

I do want to thank all of you, those I know and those I don't, who have prayed and who are continuing to pray for my family. You will never know how much it means to us. Please continue to pray for our case as we wait for a ruling. Only God knows the outcome and we continue to trust Him.

To my EN friends: I also want to tell those who are home with your children... Congratulations and I pray many blessings on you and your special family. Thank you for your support, prayers, pictures and love you have given to Nathan on your trips to EN. You will never know the blessing you have been in our lives!

Nathan, We love you and miss you more than words can say. Praying....

Well, for those of you who do not check out the family blog, I thought I would share with you these two beautiful growing miracle in our lives that are such a blessing to Casey and I.

Addison and Taylor will soon be turning one! It is so hard to believe!! We have so much love for them. They are such a blessing in our lives. I love each moment I have with them! I pray it will be soon that they meet there cousin, Nathan.

Weight: 31.10 lbs.

Height: 31” tall

Head Circ: 19.8”

Foot size: 5”

General information about Jose Pablo:

He is well. Is almost walking by himself and loves to have someone walk him around by his hands. He LOVES Mimi! She is his favorite "mama". He’s also favorite in the home and he gets to stay up later than others and won’t sleep until all is quiet, then he is one of the first up in the morning, happy and smiling. They call him Colocho (curly)

I have known he was the favorite for a while. Why would he not be?? I love that he has a favorite "mama" and that she take such good care of him as well as all the other mamas; but it breaks my heart knowing I am not his favorite. I don't know when that will be. He continues to grow and change apart from us. Each update we receive gets harder and harder to look at and read. Lord, you know our hearts and our hurts.

So many thoughts, but I can't and don't really know how to say them. Due to knowing who reads this blog I have to hold back....

Our case is now with a judge. Our lawyer was unable to bring in the bio mother and therefore our case is no longer in the hands of PGN, but is now in the faith of the courts. We do not know what this means or how long it will take. So basically, we are at a waiting game, again. NO ONE know what will happen!!!

I could explain all my emotions and feelings about this, but honestly, I do not feel like it. I will just leave you with pictures of the most perfect boy in the world...

I think everyday, "If we can just get Nathan home and end this adoption process, we can move on and have so much more time for the things we want to do and the things God wants us to do." This is not how God wants us to live our lives. This is hard!! I just want my boy home!!!!! I wanted him home last December!!!!!! I am soooo tired of this journey. Some days I wish it was not my journey, but someone Else's. But as I have said before and I am reminding myself now, GOD CHOSE this path for us and there is no way around it. So right now I am choosing to accept it and try to find God's purpose and plan for today and not worry about tomorrow or the END.

Thank to our friends who are going to bring their baby girl home, Nathan will soon be seeing this small version of Brock. He already has a small version of Graycie, the cat, and he loves it! Me, my mom and the girls we shopping the other day and we "happened upon" this stuffed weim. The store said they did not even carry them and my mom looked down on the ground and saw the stuff dog and ask, "Well, what is that?". Right on the tag said "weimerainer". It was meant to be!