I think everyday, "If we can just get Nathan home and end this adoption process, we can move on and have so much more time for the things we want to do and the things God wants us to do." This is not how God wants us to live our lives. This is hard!! I just want my boy home!!!!! I wanted him home last December!!!!!! I am soooo tired of this journey. Some days I wish it was not my journey, but someone Else's. But as I have said before and I am reminding myself now, GOD CHOSE this path for us and there is no way around it. So right now I am choosing to accept it and try to find God's purpose and plan for today and not worry about tomorrow or the END.

Thank to our friends who are going to bring their baby girl home, Nathan will soon be seeing this small version of Brock. He already has a small version of Graycie, the cat, and he loves it! Me, my mom and the girls we shopping the other day and we "happened upon" this stuffed weim. The store said they did not even carry them and my mom looked down on the ground and saw the stuff dog and ask, "Well, what is that?". Right on the tag said "weimerainer". It was meant to be!

Well, we continue to get news, not good, from different sources... we continue to fight for our son, and fighting hard we are doing! Believe me, we are doing everything we can to fight for our son, but ultimately it is up to God to bring him home! I am choosing to believe and trust in Him, each day, that HE KNOWS best for Nathan and us.

NO ONE knows the struggles and pains we have gone through and are going through. We are now on grounds that NO ONE else has ever been on before in Guatemala adoptions. No one can relate to us in where we are and that is a hard and scary place to be in. All we can do is lean on Jesus and rest in Him.

Everyday, I am full of so many different feelings- anger, sadness, anxiety, grief, happiness, stress, peace, confusion, I could go on and on. And at some moments I feel nothing.

I told Casey today. I do not know if I have any "fuel left in my tank" and "there is no gas station in sight". And if there was, "my wallet is empty!". I do not know how much more breaking I can take, but I am sure God does;).

A quote was sent to me a few weeks ago and I keep going back to it, "When you feel like giving up, remember then why you held on so long". I feel like giving up so many times because so many times I feel beat down and defeated each day, with each bad news we receive. But Nathan is sooooooooo worth hanging on and fighting for! God is going to see us all three through this and HE will be the one to get the glory! It will be nothing I nor Casey did, and definitely nothing anyone in Guatemala did!

So, WE will continue to wait. WE will continue to be beat down if WE have to. God knows US and knows our limits. WE trust Him and only Him to see us through.

Thank you again for continuing to follow us on this LONG journey. I enjoy so much reading your comments (especially from people whom I have not heard or seen in ages;) and 'strangers' who have stumbled upon this blog). Your words are so encouraging to us at this point in the journey!

Praying without ceasing,
~Stephanie

God still amazes me... I can't tell you how many times 'strangers' come up to me and tell me they are praying for me and my family- THANK YOU! It makes my day and fills my heart with joy to meet you each time and see your faces. God is so good.

As we continue our wait... God is working on us. For what, I am not sure, but I know he is working. I feel it! I am open and ready. I am at peace with where we are. Don't get me wrong, I still want my boy home NOW, but I trust God and know that he has brought us to this point and he is going to see us through. I am so thankful for what I have seen. I will never be the same. There are so many things I want to share and so many thought, but I am not sure how to put them into words...

Please continue to pray. We continue to be in communication with our social worker, but not a whole lot has changed. Basically the courts do not know what to do with our case, but God does. Pray that their eyes and hearts will be opened and soon. Our boy needs to come home. My mind starts to worry about the drastic changes he will have to make the longer he stays in the orphanage. But God will take care of him. Thank you so much for faithfully following our journey and praying for us. What a joyous celebration it will be when our son finally comes home...forever.


"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!"

"But God knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."