Our meeting with the RE went very well. I asked her if I was crazy for wanting to come in before 12 months and she said no. My age makes it ok. Hmm.. don't know exactly how I feel about that. Anyways, she did an internal ultrasound and reviewed my charts and confirmed I am ovulating normally. The next step for me is bloodwork and an HSG (that's a test where they shoot dye into your tubes to make sure they aren't blocked, supposed to be VERY painful, goody) I will schedule these as soon as my next cycle starts. Jamie also did his tests and it turns out he is above normal. again... don't know how I feel about that... I guess it's me or we're just taking a long time and I have no patience.

Anyways, I guess the best part is that I feel 100% more relaxed. I feel like we have taken charge and there is a plan. In January after my tests we will start treatment, even if everything is normal we will move things along. Neither of us is willing to do IVF so we have limited options and will have exhausted them (tried 3 times) by May-June. Once that has been tried we will move on to the adoption process. So God willing we will be pregnant, have a baby or in the midst of adoption this time next year.

Well my temperature dropped real low this morning which means my new cycle will start tomorrow. I knew this was coming, it's not a surprise but I am still overwhelmed by depression. This day sucks every month. I know I will feel better in a few days but that doesn't help me today. I want to curl up back in bed and hide.

This is too hard. I am tired of repeating this every month. We have our appointment for the RE 2 weeks from yesterday and I am sooooo glad. I don't feel like I can try again on our own this month. I am just so beaten down on this.

only 7 more days til I know if this one took. I have all the paperwork at home to fill out for the RE appt in December but I keep putting it off in case we don't have to go. It kind of stares at me....

So we moved on to cycle 8 as of Sunday. My 34th birthday. Thanks for the birthday present! Since Jamie is going to be off work for 3 weeks at Christmas, we went ahead and made a doctors appointment with an RE. We go on December 21st. I am glad we have that planned. It will take some pressure off this month. I can focus on the appointment and not have any expectations for cycle 8. Yeah right... we'll see how that works out!

WOW, on to cycle 5. Aren't you supposed to get pregnant the instant you stop taking the pill? I guess it doesn't work like magic. I keep thinking this is God "helping" me with my patience problems. I thought the "helping" was done after I got married 10 years later than I thought I was "supposed to" Hmmf, who am I to question how God helps me with my weakest areas. Anyways, I've let him know that I get it, I am trying to exhibit more patience in life and I feel I have learned the lesson. So... can I please be pregnant NOW????!?!!!!

Well I am not staying up to date on this!

So we are officially trying and have already had 2 negatives. This month is try #3, so third time is the charm!!!

I've started reading a lot of bulletin boards and hearing other peoples stories. It makes me feel better like I am not the only crazy one!

So I went to the girly doctor today to talk about pre-conception planning. I asked some questions and she gave me a prescription for prenatal vitamins. It was all very exciting :)

In about a month we are going to stop preventing getting pregnant but not necessarily start trying until May or so. Jamie doesn't want a Christmas baby, he thinks that is mean because they get jipped on the presents! (Well and a bit overshadowed)

So here's to the next few months!

I bought a book the other day that is about what to expect when you are expecting. I got it because it has a section on planning. When Jamie got home I said "I am not pregnant" and then I showed him the book. I think he would have passed out if I just showed it to him first :) I also booked an appointment with Dr. Nelson for planning. It seems a little real! Joe here at work, his wife is supposed to deliver in the next week or so. I saw him today and it made me so anxious to hear him talk about Tina. It just seems so close now. I just hope we don't have problems and that it doesn't take too long.

I came up with this idea of doing a blog when I am pregnant. I then thought about it and that it might not be easy to get pregnant and it might be interesting to look back on what could be a very long process (or a short one :) I know how quickly time flies and once you have something you forget about the effort you went through to get it. So I am starting even WAY ahead of the game by doing it now before we are even ready to start trying since me being ready and Jamie not is part of the process too.

Where we stand right now is I have been ready for years, at least on a concept level and Jamie knew he wanted kids but never really thought about when until I asked him. When we got married we agreed to wait at least a year. Well the year is up in just over 6 weeks, so it is time for me to start thinking about it.

It all hinges on work and money. We want to take a trip together before we get pregnant just so I am not throwing up all over the place. We can't take a trip until he is off work. We also might not take a trip at all because of money and maybe wanting to spend the money on the house instead, which means if there is no trip then why wait to get pregnant. So everything revolves around the trip.... Jamie said we will talk about the trip in February. I think he said that because he knows if there is no trip then he has to talk about the BIG question.

I am kind of rooting for no trip since he might work until June.... trip in July.... that means the earliest we could have a baby would be next March!!!!! It seems so far... anyways by the time anyone is reading this they will know the answer. I don't plan on showing anyone until after we announce we are pregnant, be that 6 months from now or (God forbid) 2 years from now.