OMG!! Can you believe it???? My tummy is really starting to show. I went to the mall and bought some maternity tops and they actually are starting to look like I belong in them :) Just lovin every minute of this!

We went back this morning for the follow up u/s for the spot on Twiggy's heart. The u/s went really well and the doctor was pleased. There are no other markers for Down's so our chances are slim to none. I also asked him to point out her girly parts and he did. :) I have an u/s pic but not going to work today and that is where the scanner is so next Wednesday I'll add that to the blog. He also did a 3D pic of her face. Very cool but she does look a little like a piglet instead of a Twiglet! I'll put that one up Wednesday too.

Thanks for all your kind comments! It's amazing how many people we don't know are happy for us :) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

GIRL!!!!! Thanks for all the votes!! Wow, 50 for boy and 48 for girl!

We had a great time telling the family. I made this cake.



In between the 2 layers I put a layer of pink frosting. After Christmas Eve dinner, I put the cake in front of my mom and said that since she has walked with me (literally, we walk together 3 miles every morning!) for the past 1.5 years and been supportive the whole way. She has learned all she can, read other peoples blogs to learn more and even read books on IVF, infertility and adoption. So I wanted her to have the honor of cutting the cake. She seemed pretty happy about that. We did a quick video around the table of everyone saying their vote, boy or girl and then mom cut the cake.



There were lots of yays and maybe even a tear or two. I think it would have been the same reaction for a boy but the surprise was pretty fun!

On Christmas day, Twiggy got 3 gifts! I don't think Twiggy expected any, I sure didn't. :)

She got a little onesie from Jamie's parents.





and Jamie practicing with the onesie...



My brother got Twiggy a plush Grumpy and gift card for Disney store! The Grumpy suits my brother perfectly and he said he even got one to keep at his house so Twiggy can have one at both places.





Last but not least, my grandpa ordered this cute little onesie off the internet. Pretty sweet :) I think he is very excited about his new great-grand daughter.





We had a wonderful Christmas!!! I hope yours was wonderful too!

Mike and Liz adopt also had a great Christmas, their son was born on Christmas morning!!! What an amazing Christmas gift!!!

Can't believe it!!! I am 19 weeks pregnant, just impossible to imagine and even harder to believe. I guess this belly is starting to make it more real... forgive my attire, Jamie had to go to work today so I had him take the pics before he left and I was still in jammies ;)



Jamie has been bugging me to take one with my bare belly showing, so I apologize in advance but here it is...



In even bigger news, I am 99.9% sure I felt kicks last night. The last few days I have felt something but I wrote it off to all the gasses floating around inside my body (joy of pregnancy!!) But last night I had just eaten and I was sitting watching tv and it felt like someone's finger poked me but from the inside. If it was gas, it felt different than gas has felt before. I just sat there and waited for it to happen again and a minute or so later it did, and then again, and again! I called Jamie to tell him and he was pretty excited but now he is dying to be able to feel the kicks himself.

Not sure how much I will be blogging in the next few days and not sure anyone will bother reading anyways, but I will post on Wednesday for sure!!! Gotta change to pink or blue! Thanks for all the votes, looks like boy is winning right now :)

Back in June I met Patience at TTC with DH through IVF with AMA and a MF for a BFP and she was in her 2ww after IVF. I remember hoping so badly that she was going to have a positive outcome but unfortunately she did not. Well I am VERY happy to report that she just got a BFP on an HPT yesterday and had it confirmed today with a beta of 68!!!! I am sooooooo excited for her!!!!! Please go give her your congrats!! This is a very good week on the infertile island.

how happy I am for Mike and Liz. After 17 months they just got the best Christmas present ever. They have been matched for adoption and the baby is due tomorrow! Please go over and give your congrats!

This is unrelated to Twiggy but I think those of us with IF will get something out of it. My 25 year old cousin was diagnosed with thyroid cancer a couple years ago and it greatly impacted her college life and early 20's. She handled it all with strength, courage and determination. Her entire family is extremely proud of her. She is currently applying to law schools and had to write a personal statement. She sent me a copy of it to read. As soon as I finished I asked if I could share it. The whole statement really spoke to me. I am not comparing her cancer to my infertility but alot of the emotions she discusses mirrored my own. I found the entire thing very uplifting and a portrait of someone who defines inspiration to me.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

“Whoa, that’s a gnarly scar!” This was the reaction of one Southern California teenager to the horizontal scar left on my body from thyroid cancer; perhaps the exclamation should have embarrassed me, but instead it made me feel relieved he acknowledged the enormity of my situation. The usual comment of people who notice the scar is, “It just looks like a wrinkle to me.” My gut reaction to this latter response is always anger and disappointment. In order to analyze why I have such a poignant response, I researched some common feelings of cancer survivors. As I typed the words “thyroid cancer survivor” into the Google search box, it finally struck me- I am a cancer survivor. The significance of those words is exactly why a nonchalant reaction to a scar signifying the single greatest challenge and triumph of my life somehow trivialized the considerable growth it has meant for me.

Google search parameters: follicular-variant-papillary-thyroid-carcinoma-treatment- survival. Results: completion thyroidectomy, Iodine 131 radiation treatment, and survival rate 96%. My first step after hearing the dreaded “C” word from the doctor was to research the statistics and details about my specific type of cancer. Once I knew the particulars of my diagnosis, I was better able to get a handle on what I was facing and the fear was gone. I approach many of life and work’s problems with this same analytical mind frame. I am logically passionate which sounds like a paradox, but I have come to realize the extent to which these personality traits can work together. Once I have researched something enough, I give myself whole heartedly to it; along those lines I make important decisions methodically. Both my passion and dedication come from the logical and analytical intellect I have; because of this, I am sure in my head and in my heart the practice of law is the right path for me.

Independence haunted me in March of 2006 when I was forced to endure complete solitude in a hospital room for 3 days to receive radiation treatment. As I was utterly alone in that hospital room, I reflected on the word independence; I determined there is a limit to its value. Throughout my cancer treatment I discovered I needed others to take care of and help me- physically and emotionally. My family and friends were a source of support I could not have done without, but I had to learn humility and to give up some of my independence in order to accept their help. Humility was a hard lesson for me- showing vulnerability and weakness is rarely something I did because I measured my success by people’s perception of me as a strong person. Acknowledging a need for support, I now realize, does not mean that my sense of self and independence are lost, but only that I am human. My experience with cancer treatments showed me independence and humility are traits that can, and in fact should, co-exist within me.

Google search parameters: personality-formed-at-age? Results: evidence of character formation by age three. I got what I wanted the majority of the time when I was a child- eventually; by eventually I mean that I wore my opponent, child or adult, down with my persistence. Home videos detail the quiet, calm perseverance which characterized my quest at age three for a toy that another child possessed. I would quietly say, “I have that now” as I took the toy. The other child would take it back and I would repeat the same process over and over until the other child grew tired enough to simply surrender the toy. Fast forward to my college years at UCLA where I worked hard to maintain my grades and finish my bachelor’s degree in three years in the midst of feeling ill from what I now know to be cancer. I also kept my job as a paralegal and earned my certificate during the two treatment years. Despite the obstacles in my way, I would not quit. Lately as I am healthy and training for a 10k race I feel an overwhelming sense of joy I can run and I am reminded that my illness did not change the core of my personality, but instead made the quiet perseverance I have always displayed even more apparent.

One of my favorite television shows features an intelligent woman solving the answers to the who, what, when, where, and why questions of unsolved murders. In contrast to Jessica Fletcher’s role in “Murder She Wrote” of solving the cause of murders, I will never know the reason I was afflicted with this illness. Instead, I have taken control of the effect cancer has had on my life. My anger at the non-visibility of my scar is not a wish for pity or the result of regret I had cancer, but a reaction against the accompanying notion that cancer did not impact my life in any way. It believe it did, but in a positive way. The development and enhancement of logical passion, humble independence, and perseverance in my character following my battle with cancer make it a life affirming experience I carry with me everywhere in the physical form of a barely visible four inch scar on my neck.

Twiggy is a bell pepper this week (a green one haha!) and is busy moving around although I still can't feel it!

My apology in advance to my IF readers still in the trenches. This post will come across as complaining. I am sorry it comes across that way. I am sure you know how very ecstatic I am that we had a healthy baby u/s but especially after going through infertility for 1.5 years you build certain things up in your mind. I had really built up the big u/s as this wonderful, amazing experience so it is a bit hard for me that it didn't live up to those expectations. Forgive me for complaining. I know I sound ungrateful and for that I truly am sorry but in the interest of an honest blog and a history for my child I want to write about the bad aspects of myself and experiences.

The more I think about yesterdays u/s the more bothered I am. I am upset and I feel a little jipped. I kept hearing about big u/s's that took an hour and they really got to see all the parts and just watch the baby for a bit. They get clear shots of the boy/girl parts and it was overall a very cool experience. I have even heard where the doctor poked around or had the mom turn on her side in an effort to get the baby to move so they could see more. Our scan was literally less than 5 minutes. The doctor barely said a word to us during it and kept jumping around so we could barely catch what he was seeing. I was warned by my OB ahead of time that he has no bedside manner and is an alarmist. She said to not get too worried about anything negative he said until we talked it over with her. So wow, was she right. No bedside manner. He wasn't mean or anything just didn't do any extras. Maybe since Twiggy was in a bad position and he knew he wanted us back next week he just cut it all short? I certainly hope so.

Next week I will be asking him to point out the sex so I can see for myself. This time when he was all done and had explained the white spot on the heart he then said "So do you want to know what I think the sex is?" I said yes real quick and he told us. I asked how sure he was and his response was "Well don't remind me next week what I said and let's see if I have the same opinion." So we will make our announcement at Christmas (not sure how yet :) but a part of me is thinking we may have to retract it on Friday! Well at least no one can buy too much in 4 days. So although I am excited to know the sex I am taking it with a grain of salt and won't 100% believe it until I can see the hamburger or hot dog with my own eyes!

We had our big u/s today and the bottom line is a healthy baby. The u/s pic is a bit hard to see anything but the head is on the right and you can see the spine along the top.



Twiggy was face down so that meant a short u/s, no 3d and the need to go back next Friday. The doctor said the size was great (Twiggy measured exactly 18 weeks 2 days!) and all looked good, except he counld not get a good read on the heart or see the face due to the position. He did see a see a white spot on the left ventricle of the heart and wants to see more but the spine was casting a shadow on some of the heart.

The white spot is called Hyperechoic Focus and means there was mineralization of the papillary muscle (he gave us a sheet on it.) This is not a defect and there will be nothing wrong with the heart itself. 4-8% of the population has this and it means nothing. Except it is known to sometimes be an indicator of Downs Syndrome. By itself it is usually nothing and that is why he needs to see the face and the heart more. If there are more indicators then that will mean something but this by itself is not that big of a deal.

Jamie is a bit worried but I am not. I spent all weekend worrying there wouldn't be a heartbeat at all or a missing liver or something else that this just doesn't seem like anything. Honestly I would much rather be told I have a chance at having a Downs baby than a heart defect. So no worrying and certainly no concern until next Friday.

On more superficial news, we know Twiggy's sex!!!! You'll notice I changed the color of the blog to green. Well next Wednesday after we have told our families, I will change the blog to blue or pink. :) That's a fun way to let you all know, don't you think?

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Even more superficial news, here is a super cute pic of Orangie curled up on the Snoogle (it is of course under the covers)



On Saturday night I had a girls night so here is a little shout out to my ladies!



From Left: Michele (who will be my doula) holding her daughter Kaylee, Amanda, Ginny, Vicki, Annie, myself holding Michele's youngest Kolbe.

Well as you can see, I did not run off with Leo. Alas, he was no where to be found.

We got there about 9 and checked in. We walked into the main room and immediately saw Rob Schneider. Jamie got a drink and I got a Sprite :) We started Leo watch and moved across the room. The food that was laid out was pretty fun!! Pizza, mac n cheese, hamburgers, 3 chocolate fountains (white, dark and milk) and all sorts of other stuff. There was even a guy wandering around, pushing an ice cream cart! We didn't see anyone else interesting so we made our way to the next area, the bowling alley. TO get in, we had to wait in a line because it was so crowded they were only letting people in as people left. So there we are in line and this tiny little short guy cuts in front of us. No big deal, we thought he was with the people in front of us. The line started to move and the cutter turned to us and said, "Watch, it's going to cut off at me!" Well low and behold it did! So we stood there talking to him for a minute and I kept thinking to myself, he sure looks like that guy Eric from E.ntourage. But no it couldn't be him, way too short, very red hair and a crapload of freckles. So he starts chatting me up (Jamie said he was hitting on me) We were talking about the line and the party etc for about 5 minutes and he ignored Jamie the whole time haha. Well they finally let us in and he darted over to the smoking area. Jamie goes, "well there was another one, the guy from E.ntourage." No way, he was sooooo short, couldn't be more than 5'1". But yes, talking to other people it was him. Funny how different people look on tv. He was really nice though.

The bowling alley was packed and no one to see there so we mosied over to the Jam Session room. We saw some of Jamie's friends and they told us that a friend of theirs said they were going early to reserve a lane for Leo!!! Agh, panic alert, gotta find Leo!!! So we keep looking and head on to the ice rink. In the hallway we walked past E.dward N.orton (Love him! I would see any movie he is in!) And no one in the ice rink, no T.om Cruise playing ice hockey with S.teve S.pielberg. Sigh...

Back to the Jam Session room where we parked ourselves for a while and waited for the jamming. Finally A.dam S.andler went on stage and called up R.ob S.chneider and a bunch of other unrecognizables and they started playing all this great music, it was soooo much fun! Jamie's boss' boss (the films editor) was even playing the drums. I was very impressed with how good a singer Adam is.

We watched for about an hour and went back on Leo watch. Back to the bowling alley. I look over and see another big crush of my past. M.atthew Pe.rry! Woo hoo, he looked really good, not all scruffy and facial hair covered like all the other guys.

We noticed that it was emptying out a bit and went back to the main room which was also emptying. Back to the jam session, noticed the ice rink was now closed and decided that we were not going to find Leo. Not from lack of effort though! I just don't think he was there. Jamie was told there were around 3000 people so it was a bit like a needle in a haystack. Anytime we saw someone Jamie knew we asked if they saw Leo but no one did.

So around 12:30 we called it a night. I was soooooo tired and so many people had already left. I really hope Jamie doesn't find out that Leo showed up at 1am!

So Jamie is currently working on the new A.dam S.andler movie (he's an asst editor) which means we got invited to the H.appy M.adison Holiday party!! Woo-hoo!! It's tonight!! Now I am not normally a low grade paparazzi but there are two celebrities who I would give my left arm to meet. B.ette M.idler because I just love her and drum roll please..... L.eonardo D.iCaprio. I have been in love with him since Basketball Diaries and my love has never faded (Don't let go Kate, don't let go!!!!!)(yes Jamie knew there was someone before him but he did understand my chances of marrying Leo were slim to none so he took a chance with me.) Jamie has heard that this annual party is a pretty big deal in the celebrity world. Last year T.om C.ruise and Ste.ven S.pielbeg were playing ice hockey together at the party (it's at Pickwick center in Burbank which has bowling, ice rink, horses, etc) But screw Tom and Steven... when I heard that Leo was there last year.... well this has now become the Diana WILL meet Leo party and it's all I can talk about at home. Jamie knows that we will get there when it starts at 8 and will not leave until it ends at 2am (considering my average 9pm bedtime this will be interesting... "Who's the delirious pregnant lady stumbling around over there, drooling and saying Leo over and over?") I expect to spend every moment on Leo watch. There is only one little glitch to this plan... just because he was there last year doesn't necessarily mean he will be this year. So if you have read that Leo is in Antarctica right now and can't possibly make it, go ahead and tell me so that I can get home and to bed at a normal hour. Otherwise you may leave me all the good luck comments you can muster.

Have a great weekend, Big u/s is Monday!!!! and a big thank you for all the compliments on the Holiday Card. After I had ordered the cards I saw a post on the 2nd Tri board that asked if it was tacky to include an u/s on the Christmas card and almost everyone said it was! One person said "No one wants to see inside your vagina." So I was a bit worried that people might think it was weird. Anyways I am happy with it and Jamie is happy with it and 7 people who read my blog are happy with it so I am content. Thank you.

If you click on it, it gets bigger :)

I have been asked several times if we plan on having more than one baby. I guess my simple answer is you can plan anything you want but it doesn't mean it will happen. When Jamie and I first started dating, I made it very clear that I wanted to adopt a child (or 2 or 3) someday. I hoped to have babies of my own but still wanted to adopt an older child or a baby if I could not give birth for some reason. It was very important to me to only date someone that was open to adoption. He hadn't really thought about it but said he was open to the idea. That was good enough for me and we kept dating :)

Back then I wanted to give birth to 2-3 children and adopt 2-3 once my bio children were in their early teens or so. Jamie always said, let's start with one and work our way up.

I still dream of having 2-3 and adopting 2-3, so yes I would love to have more but I can't plan on more.

Yesterday I did some final figuring on our infertility insurance. I updated my spreadsheet and discovered our insurance has paid a bit over $9500 for infertility coverage. My lifetime limit is $10,000. Assuming i can only get pregnant with IVF, this means we are most likely not going to get pregnant again. Yes, things can happen. When we first got diagnosed with high FSH, we were told our chances of conceiving on our own was about 3-5%. So yes, we could maybe get pregnant on our own. I could get a different job someday with different insurance, Jamie's insurance could improve (I expect pigs to start flying first) or we could win the lottery and afford to pay $12,000 for IVF on our own. So I guess what I am saying is that I am 99% convinced this is the only baby that I will give birth to and while I am EXTREMELY grateful to have this one baby, there is a part of me that is sad about losing my dream of 2-3.

About adoption, Jamie and I have not really talked about it now that we are pregnant (he was of course very on board adopting before IVF came into the picture) so I am not sure how he feels yet about child #2 and I imagine he will still say, let's just have #1 first and worry about that later. So here are my thoughts only, I want to have more than one child in my life. I do not need the next child to be a baby though (at least not now) Considering adoption will be $25k - $35k for an infant, I would rather adopt a child or two in the 2-5 year old range. When would I want to do this? I am not sure, I guess I am with Jamie on just wait and see.

So if any of you were going to ask if we plan on having more than one... here is the answer.

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Snoogle update, I only woke up 4 times last night!!!! Orangie shared very nicely with me too :)

So for my birthday, my mom bought me a Snoogle. I have been putting off using it because I wanted to stomach sleep as long as possible and I knew there was no going back. Well at my last OB appt, my doctor said I had to start side sleeping in the next week, max 2 weeks. Well that was this weekend. On Sunday night I broke it out of the bag and shoved it under the covers. Orange cat was instantly amused. I spent the night tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. The point of the bottom part of the "C" is for one leg to be on top and one to be under the pillow. Well when you want to turn over you have to untangle your legs, turn over and retangle them. This means that every time my body decides to turn over, I wake up. About 10 times on Sunday night and 10 last night. I am really hoping this is just a matter of getting used to!! If you have used a Snoogle, please give me your experiences and how long it took to get used to.

Now with all that said, it is AMAZING how comfortable the Snoogle makes side sleeping. If I could just stay on one side the entire night I would be fine. I do realize this might be just the beginning, when I have a big belly in the way I am sure it will just be harder. I should thank my lucky stars I can turn over right?!

Orange cat LOVES it though. She curls right up in it and I think she thinks we got it for her. Usually at bed time, if she is on my side of the bed, I make a motion to move the covers to get in and she gets up and goes to Jamie's side. She then waits for me to get settled and climbs back onto me. Well last night she was all Snoogled in and I went to move the covers... she cocked an eye at me and promptly shut it again. She was not moving! I moved the covers more to where it normally would have bothered her and she still refused to budge. (I know I could have easily moved her but I was laughing to hard at this point! You non cat lovers are all rolling your eyes at me aren't you?) So I climbed in next to her and moved her a bit with my leg, she just rolled a bit like a raft on the ocean. So there I was, on the edge of the bed with the cat taking ownership of the Snoogle. Silly Orange Cat.... or is it silly me for letting her?

OK, so there is the belly pic from yesterday (sorry hair is not done and since it was a weekend, no makeup! But you are looking at the belly anyways!) One thing that struck me was how much it looks like my back is bending already. I don't know if it is always curved like that and it's just more noticeable with the belly or if it really is curving more. Weird!

So Twiggy is a turnip this week. Funny but I can't even really picture how big that is. I'll just assume it's bigger than last week! Some of the bones are starting to harden so Twigs not just a blob of rubber anymore.

So one more week until the big u/s!! I can't wait!!!

On Sunday we went furniture shopping because I think we should order furniture sometime in January and I wanted to start looking a bit. Jamie actually enjoyed it and kind of got into it! One of the things I really wanted was a big hutch/changing table combination at Pottery Barn Kids. It was only available online so we went to PBK and looked at their other furniture just so we could see if we liked the way they made their furniture. Well we were both very disappointed. Everything they had in their white collection just felt and looked cheap to me. The drawers didn't slide easily and looked like they were made out of fake wood. So I am really glad we looked and didn't just order! We had gone to a local store earlier and saw some stuff we liked and it was all really well made and better priced. I think we will look at a few more stores but we may end up getting the stuff at the local store. Another big decision, we both decided we don't want white anymore. I think we will be going with cherry wood or a darker wood like that. It was so much fun!!!

Here is a picture from 1st Annual Holiday Cookie baking day, my friend S and baby Ella! She is wearing a jacket I gave her for Hannukah :)

17 weeks is a big deal for me as a good friend of mine gave birth to and lost her son at 17 weeks about 9 months ago, making this a sort of milestone. I have lots of emotions about it and I am sure she does too. She reads this blog and I just want her to know I have been thinking about her all day and cannot wait until she is pregnant again.

I will be glad when next Saturday comes and this week is passed.

Complete change of topic, I went to a cookie exchange today with my LA Nestie group. I had such a great time! It's so much fun to put screen names to faces :) I had taken Thursday off work for my 1st annual Holiday Cookie Baking Day and made 8 different kinds of cookies. My mom, cousin Renee and friend S came over with baby Ella. They all helped thank goodness!!! I think I may have been a bit overambitious and never would have finished without them! The cookies came out great so I will have to try to do it again next year although it may be a little harder with a 6 month old!

We forgot to take a belly pic this morning so we will definitely do one tomorrow and get it posted Monday. My belly is definitely showing. We had our Christmas work party Friday and I had several people come up to me to say congrats. I think they may have whispered to each other "Diana is a bit fat, is she...?" It sure was fun to be congratulated! I even had one belly pat :) My friend Greg came over and held his hand over my belly and said "Can I?" Big smile on my part :) I don't think I will mind belly pats at all, especially when people ask first.... not sure about strangers though, that could creep me out.

My friend L had her baby Londyn Rose Mitsu S. last night. So exciting!!! I can't wait to meet her, hopefully today or tomorrow!!!! Little Twiggy has another friend to look forward to meeting!

So I did my ultra-scientific weigh in this morning (unclothed, before breakfast but after my glass of water) and I was up 2 pounds!! Now this has happened before only to disappear a day or so later so I won't believe it until I weigh again. I think I will on Thursday and see what happens.

BTW: Yea that was the super cool grandma in the picture that leaves comments on the blog sometimes :)

Wow, that seems far doesn't it? I remember reading other peoples blogs and seeing tickers on peoples signatures on the chat boards and if they were at 16 weeks or more it just seemed so far. Like they were really, really pregnant. Oh what I would have given even 3 months ago to know I would be this far some day.

Yesterday my grandmother told me that she and my grandpa had discussed it and they want to give us our rocker/glider for the nursery. WOW, I so appreciate it but more than that I was overwhelmed by the discussion to begin with. We can actually be talking about putting a rocker in the nursery. This isn't in the abstract, it will really happen. The crib didn't hit me in exactly the same way because it will be a little longer for that, the rocker can be the same day we pick it (possibly) It was just really special to talk about.

So Twiggy is the size of an avocado now (Jamie and I LOVE avocados!) and weighs about 1/2 pound. S/he will double weight/size in the next 3 weeks. :)

Last night we had a special dinner at grandma/grandpa's house. We celebrated grandpa's 91st birthday (will be on Tuesday) Here is a picture of the clan!



Top row: My uncle Tom (the one building the crib), Grandma, Jamie
Bottom Row: My mom, the birthday boy, me

and since we are in a picture mood, here is what else we did this weekend!

I know he is going to read this but I still had to write about it. Yesterday he called me to say he wants another weekend vacation. He wants to go skiing. I said yeah, that'll be fun for me! He said I could hang out in the lodge and drink hot chocolate. I laughed and told him we shouldn't spend the money. We need to start thinking about baby furniture. WHAT?! Already?! I said yes, my friend L, who is due next week, still hasn't received her changing table/dresser she ordered in July!! I have heard several stories like this so I think we need to consider ordering in January. Maybe we can go look during Christmas break?

He countered with we don't need to save money for it, how much can it really cost. All baby furniture is disposable since you only use if for 2-3 years. Agh! I tried to argue that if we buy nice stuff it can last until they are pre-teens. For example, a changing table/dresser becomes a dresser etc. So he said there was no way I was spending $42,000 on baby furniture. I promised I wouldn't spend $42,000. He then said I couldn't spend $400. Again I promised, there was no way I was spending $400 (definitely more than that!) I think he got scared and ended the conversation.

Cut to today, he just called on something else and then mentioned he was looking at baby furniture online today. (OK, that is just too cute, can you imagine the other guys he works with walking by and seeing him looking at baby furniture!) He said he was searching for bargains! Oh that poor deluded man, he really has no idea what he is getting into does he?

So yesterday I looked up when Mother's Day is next year and it is on May 11th. I would actually be a mother on mother's day next year. What a huge change from last year. I have a wonderful mom and grandmother that I spend Mother's Day with every year but last year I was still a bit sad. We went to breakfast and of course there were babies everywhere. I very much look forward to Mother's Day 2008 where I have a baby in my arms or am about ready to pop!

Funny story from this morning, I have not bothered to put on any button up shirts because I am all about comfort these days and they just aren't as comfortable as a nice cozy pullover. Well today I decided to be daring and grabbed a button up shirt that is normally pretty loose and comfortable. I started with the button over my boobs and I had to pull it to close it! WOW, lots of people have been telling me the girls are getting bigger but that finally convinced me. I worked my way down the buttons and knew I was in trouble when I got to the one right above my bump, it was a tight fit. I then went for the bump one and burst out laughing as it couldn't even reach! There was a good inch between the button and button hole!!! So the shirt is now sitting on my dresser. I'll pull out all the button ups and too short shirts and box them away tonight. They will be brought out into the light in about 7-9 months!

First things first, this just cracked me up!!!



I stole it from Amanda at Waiting In Line...My turn, yet? hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!

Second, will BALANCING ACT please give me your blog address? I would love to follow along your blog since we have the same due date and all. I tried clicking on your bio but it doesn't link to your blog. Thanks for your kind words yesterday. Glad you found me :)

Lastly but certainly not least, let's talk about the Twiglet!!! I went in for my OB appointment today. The nurse took my blood pressure, weight etc and then said the doctor would be right in and was about to walk out. I said "Wait, what am I supposed to take off?" She said "Nothing." Cue me staring at the door in disbelief as she closed it. What? A doctor appointment with my clothes on? What kind of place is this? I am surprised we don't all undress in the waiting room to same time. So there I sat with all my clothes. I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I normally fiddle about with the paper dress and spend time seperating the paper sandwiching the plastic and tie and untie the plastic belt. I got very confused and grabbed my magazine and read. Hmm. So in came my doctor and I almost expected her to tell me it was a mistake. "Take off your clothes you silly clothed woman!! Where do you think you are? The dentist?" But no, she just started chatting. She went over my bloodwork results. You will all be glad to know I am O+, tested negative for AIDS and syphillis and most importantly negative for cystic fibrosis. All good things.

She then came at my belly with the Radi.o Shac.k walkie talkie and pulled down my pants a bit. We discussed the Bella Band and how it worked as she had never seen one before (Really?) so she said she was going to start recommending them to others as she thought it was a great idea. She found Twiggy's heartbeat right away. I said, OK if you say so... how do you know that's not me? She said that if it were my heartbeat, she would drive me to the ER! Nothing in my body should be beating that fast except Twiggy. So yay! She also said she could tell Twig was moving around a lot.

So we made my next appointment for Dec 27th and discussed my need for a prescription for the Big u/s (stupid insurance is requiring it) So on the prescription she wrote:

dx = ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE

Sigh.

Yesterday I scheduled my big u/s! It will be at 8:15 on Monday the 17th. At the u/s the doctor will check out all the organs and body parts to make sure everything is going ok. For me the big thing is checking the heart, etc. If they were to find an issue, sometimes they can fix it in utero or be ready to do something as soon as the baby is born. For a bonus, we will also be able to find out the baby's sex! Hoping the legs aren't crossed! So in the spirit, I have added a poll to the right. Please cast your vote for boy or girl! We will not be telling anyone the sex immediately. We want to have this secret to ourselves for a little bit of time. We plan on telling the family at Christmas and then everyone else the day after. Jamie thinks it's a girl and I think it's a boy so we are pretty evenly split :) I think a lot of my family is thinking girl though.

Tomorrow I have my 2nd OB appointment. I do not expect an u/s but she will be using the doppler to hear the heartbeat. I can't wait!!!

So Twiggy is the size of an apple now. Just so amazing that I have an apple in me with arms and legs, wiggling all around and I can't feel it! Crazy!

I was starting to get worried about not having gained any weight yet (checked again this morning and still 128.6... yup, the .6 is even the same!) I posted on the 2nd Trimester chat board about it and I got 12 responses of people telling me they didn't gain weight until weeks 17-22!! They all said that as long as the doctor isn't worried we shouldn't be either. So I feel much better by that.

You can see from this belly shot from Saturday (15 weeks) that I do have a belly, so not sure where the other weight went to!!!



As a little bonus, here is a pic of Jamie and I from this weekend in Sequoia. :) We had such a great time! As I packed my suitcase, I thought "wow, this could be the last time I pack it until I get ready for the hospital!"

So I will do the obligatory "Things I am Thankful for", the only reason I hold back a bit is I know I will leave out 100 things, so keep in mind this is not a complete list and it is not numbered because it is in no particular order.

* Twiggy :)
* My amazing husband Jamie
* My family, my friends
* In less than 2 weeks we will be celebrating my grandfather's 91st birthday
* My cousin is still cancer free
* Our wonderful, old house
* My uncle who has helped us fix up that wonderful old house
* Doors and windows that open and close *Bonus, they do it without squeaking
* I finished half my Christmas shopping in 1 hour last night
* My job here at this company that has wonderful insurance
* My silly little Orange cat that woke me up at 4am last night because she was having a nightmare and making very odd noises in her sleep
* That I can easily fall asleep 99% of the time
* no morning sickness
* that I live in Los Angeles surrounded by family and friends
* that I live with freedom thanks to the armed forces that are working hard to protect us
* that I am who I am because of what life I was given and choices I have made
* that everyone in my family is fairly healthy, especially my almost 91 year old grandpa :) (this should be at the top of the list)
* that my brother, his girlfriend and my in-laws will be here at Christmas
* that today is the very first day I am wearing maternity pants, and boy do I love them!
* that I have so many things to be thankful for that I could keep writing for hours

May you all have a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING and give thanks to your maker (whoever that might be for you) for all you have. Especially to those who are still in the infertility trenches, may your blessings take over the weekend for you so you can have a few days without sadness. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.


Speaking of Twiggy...
Here is a copy of the u/s from 11 weeks 4 days that was done on Halloween. I had a guy at work that is good with photoshop doctor it up so it could be seen as I want to use it on our Christmas card :) When I had tried to scan it 3 weeks ago it just looked like a black blob. I think he did a good job!

So there is no sucking in the belly at this point. It doesn't look like I just ate too much Thanksgiving dinner, it looks like I ate the whole turkey! I'll take another belly pic this Saturday. I think we are going with the every 2 weeks theme. I also think I have finally started gaining weight. In the beginning, I lost 2-3 pounds as the bloat from the IVF drugs wore off. Last week I was up about 1/2 a pound but when I weighed myself this morning it seemed about 3 pounds higher. I say seemed because I had eaten breakfast and had clothes on. My scientific (haha) weigh ins Have been pre breakfast, after 3 mile walk, no clothes. So I will weigh again tomorrow and use that as my official number. The books say that in the 2nd trimester I should start gaining a pound a week. That will be just weird. I don't have weight issues per se but I think like every woman seeing the scale go above a certain number (for me it's 130) causes a bit of breath holding. To go 5 pounds above that, well hmm, just not sure how I sill feel. As long as it all stays in my stomach then who cares. I think I will actually laugh at the weight going up. I don't relish the idea of gaining but I don't hate it either. Most women I know, lost it all in a few weeks or months after having the baby so it's really not bothersome. I think the actual number on the scale will just eb weird, that's all I am trying to say. Please do not walk away thinking I am complaining of weight gain, that is absolutely not what I am doing!

Twiggy is about the size of a lemon this week, about 3.5 inches. Twiggy can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. What's that? Pee??? yup. Twiggy ingests the amniotic fluid, pees it out and ingests it again. Really quite gross when you think about it literally. We will definitely have to break Twig of that habit when he comes out!!

This was a great weekend in the Twiggy house! I am trying to get house projects done before Twiggy comes because I know I won't care anymore and Jamie won't want to spend any money. So for my birthday I asked for 2 new bedroom doors and a new bathroom door. I know, I have gotten a few looks from people when I tell them that is what I wanted. It really is though! See Jamie doesn't care too much about super cosmetic stuff like that. The old doors worked and they didn't look "awful" but I hated them. So he and my uncle spent the weekend installing them. WOW, do they look great!!! Now I just have to get Jamie to paint them since I am not allowed to paint anymore but they look so much better as is! So Twiggy will have a nice pretty door when s/he arrives. :)

In nursery news, my uncle (the handy one mentioned above) has asked if he can build us Twiggy's crib. He wants to build something that can be an heirloom for the family. I think this is a wonderful idea! So although I am not quite furnishing the nursery yet, I do know what the crib will look like!



It will be painted white though and the little details along the top edge will be pink or blue or green to match the room, not sure which yet. So excited about this!!

Look close (you can click on the picture to make it bigger) and you will see 5 deer. They live in the mountains behind us and sometimes come to the bottom of the mountain so we can see them (and yes, I live about 15 minutes from Downtown Los Angeles!!!) Since we moved here and first saw the deer I have always thought we could tell our children they were Santa's Reindeer :)

Hope this made you smile. Enjoy your weekend!

OK, here is the one from Saturday at 13 weeks with my bad hair.



But I am not digging this one either from Sunday so I'll just post them both and let you decide!!!



Stupid little side note. I am reading B.elly L.aughs by Jenn.y Mc.Carthy because I have heard on the boards how funny it is. Well I am not impressed. I think the writing sucks and she isn't funny at all. She spends the whole book complaining about how awful pregnancy is and how she had horrific back pain because she slouched over all the time to hide her pregnant belly. Thank goodness I didn't read this while undergoing treatments. I might have been tempted to seek her out and give her a smack on the head for not appreciating her very easily achieved pregnancy. I do not recommend this book to anyone. Ugh.

I am in New Jersey right now so not with my normal work computer. We did take a belly pic on Saturday and then I had Jamie take another one Sunday because I didn't like my hair Saturday.... hehe. I'll get it up on Thursday when I am back at work.

Big news is that we are now officially in the 2nd trimester! YAY! Twiggy now has some fingerprints and if Twiggy is a girl, she now has 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Let's hope she still has a bunch of them well into her 30's and avoids her mom's reproductive issues. :) But the best part of all about this week is that our miscarriage chances have dropped below 5%. Twiggy needs to just keep growing now... for the next 27 weeks... wow that sure seems like a long time.

You are going to be one lucky Twiglet when you arrive in this world. You will be surrounded by so much love. You will have a mommy and daddy that want you more than anything. You will also have grandma Pat that lives 2 blocks away that you can see anytime you get tired of mommy telling you what to do. You will have grandma Marie and grandpa Jim in Florida that you can go see when you get really tired of mommy and daddy both! Less than 5 minutes away, you will have great-grandma Peggy and great-grandpa Charles to make you lots of scones and cookies. Uncle Tom, aunt Sue, uncle Mike and cousins Renee and Megann also live very close by to give you lots of love and attention. If you ever want to learn to love the snow, you can also visit your great-grandma Hazel in Colorado. You also have aunt Kristie and uncle Dave in Michigan and uncle Derrick and aunt Alisha in Virginia! All these people are waiting to meet you and sooooo very excited. I could spend all day listing the people related to you and barely have time to mention the non-relatives that are excited too.

I do want to talk about 3 people that you won't meet though and it breaks my heart. You will hear a lot about them when you are old enough to understand but I want you to know how much I think of them right now. You see, I think I am thinking about them even more now that you are just forming. It could be my hormones going out of whack or part of nesting, I'm not sure. But anyways...

You won't meet your Great-Grandma Joanne. She was my dad's mom and a very special lady. I remember she took me shopping for my birthday every year and made the best English muffins with lots of butter on them. She always had a box of costume jewelry for me to play with and was always dressed perfectly herself. She was always a lady. When she knew she wouldn't be with us much longer she even took the time to pick out special things she owned for each one of us to keep to remember her by. She gave me a little fake Hummel figurine that I had bought her at a cheapie store for her birthday or Christmas or something when I was very small. Even though it was a cheapie little thing, I think she loved it because I had picked it out. She kept it with all of her valuable Hummel figures just like it belonged. It is also your Great-grandma Joanne that talked me into going to college. I had no intention of going to college as I had a great job at a music store and thought that was all I needed. Well she knew better and kept talking to me about different schools and how important it was. She passed on Thanksgiving Day (this is the reason I don't like celebrating Thanksgiving very much) of my senior year in high school. When she passed I decided I would go to college because I knew it would make her happy. I started the next fall and went on to get my Bachelor's degree as well as my MBA. I do believe she is very proud of me now which make me very happy but also makes me sad that she won't meet you here on earth.

You also will not meet your great-grandpa Walden. He was my dad's dad. I remember playing UNO with him. He was very good at UNO and would play it with me anytime even when I was very young and probably not a very worthy adversary. He loved working with wood and kept a box in the guest room closet of wooden toys he had made. I loved playing with those with my brother! He was very handy and loved building all sorts of things. I still have a backgammon table that he made, it includes little round playing pieces too! He and grandma also had a pool table at their house and he would play with us kids. We weren't allowed to use the cues but we were allowed to aim the cue ball with our hands. He also loved setting up the croquet set in the backyard for us all to play, we got to use the mallet then! He was probably one of the kindest men I have ever known. I remember him as very quiet though, maybe because grandma Joanne talked so much :)

Last but not least, you will not meet my dad. His name was Kim but everyone called him Fred. He would sign things Fred the Frog and draw a little frog head picture. I am actually a bit glad you won't meet him. He was a very severe alcoholic and died from the disease. (warning, it runs in our family!) The good thing about him being gone is that bad memories tend to fade and good memories tend to get stronger. I think you will have a good chance of only hearing the good things about him. There were so many good things, it's too bad they got overshadowed by his sickness. He was an excellent cook, especially spaghetti, yummy! He loved to spend money on people and make them happy by buying them things. (not always the best idea, but he really loved it) I remember I loved playing the video game Tempest. One day we were at an arcade and the arcade was going out of business. Well he ended up buying me the full size Tempest game! He kept it at his house and when I went there on the weekends I played it nonstop. All my friends thought it was so cool when they came over! He was amazing with computers, way ahead of his time. I think he would be very proud and amazed that both your Uncle Derrick and I are involved in computers. He was super intelligent. Probably even mensa smart. He loved to read and had hundreds of magazines in his house. He loved Science Fiction especially and took Derrick and I to Science Fiction conventions all the time. We would have so much fun at those with him! He was an avid photographer and loved music more than anything. He took me to my first concert when I was 6 or 7. We went to Dodger Stadium and saw Loverboy, Foreigner and a couple other bands which I cannot remember and you definitely will never hear of. He also took me to a Jefferson Airplane concert when I was about 10. He loved to take me to the horse races and shooting range. I think I first held a gun with him when I was 5. That makes me smile, not sure if I will let you hold a gun at 5 but that's a different story. One of my favorite memories of him happened when I was in my early teens. He out of the blue said to me "You have every advantage. You were born in the greatest country with every opportunity. You are a blonde, blue-eyed white girl that is super intelligent and can do anything she wants. Make sure you take advantage of it and don't waste it." I will never forget that and I have tried to take advantage and do whatever I want. So all in all he was a great guy and I think almost everyone that knew him will agree. Deep down in his heart he was kindness and love.

So Twiggy, you come from very good stock and will continue to be surrounded by love. You will have every advantage. You will be born in the greatest country with every opportunity your daddy and I can give you. You will be surrounded by more love than you can imagine and you will most likely be spoiled a bit. I know it sounds like a lot to live up to but I think you will be up to the challenge.

Love,
Your very proud mommy

I'll be taking a new belly pic on Saturday at 13 weeks. :)

Every morning I get dressed and look at my profile. Some outfits actually help me look a bit pregnant. Probably not enough for someone to ask me if I'm pregnant but enough to make someone wonder and gossip. Well today, is definitely a gossip looking day. As I looked at myself this morning, I had the biggest smile on my face and said another prayer of thanks. I really am so excited for the big freakin belly. I know I might regret saying that but I really do mean it now. What's strange though is that I can't wait but yet I can. I am content to enjoy each day. I still look forward to Saturday and a new week marker but I am enjoying this experience thoroughly, each day.

What I enjoy most of all is the grin on Jamie's face when he kisses my stomach (still 3 times, he started that when there were 3 embies and doesn't want twig to feel neglected by only one kiss now). I think I would have embraced adoption whole-heartedly but when I see that grin of absolute, complete happiness on Jamie's face from looking at my slightly growing belly... well I am just so glad we are getting to experience this. I still can't get over how blessed we are.

Liz at The Gallagher TTC Journey has tagged me to type up 8 random things about me that you might find interesting...

Here are the rules as I have copied them from her blog:

Rules: Once tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list 8 random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to 8 other people, visit their sites, and leave a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged.

So keep an eye out on your comments or down below to see if you have been tagged... kind of like chain mail which I hate but it's always interesting to learn 8 new things that are non-IF related in the IF blogs we read.

1. In High school I was considered goth. Black nail polish, lipstick, boyfriends that wore skirts, the whole shebang and I loved it. I still listen to the music, otherwise you would never know.

2. When I was 10 I waited in line for 12 hours at a science fiction convention (yes I went to sci-fi conventions...) to see all 3 Star Wars in a row from midnight - 6am. One of the best nights of my life and I proudly tell people I am a Star Wars nerd.

3. All of my given names (I have 3) are from songs. My dad loved music so... Diana (by Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane), Rhonda (by the Beach Boys, you know the one), Layla (by Derek and the Dominoes) extra tidbit, my brothers name is Derrick after Derek and the Dominoes except my mom spelled Derrick wrong on the birth certificate :)

4. I hate the smell and feel of newspapers. I almost get nauseous when they are near and I refuse, absolutely refuse to touch them.

5. My grandparent's lemon meringue pie is one of my favorite things on earth.

6. My mom lives 2 blocks from us and my grandparents, aunt, 2 uncles, 2 cousins and various other family live within 5 miles. I never plan on moving from LA because of this.

7. If I could start my own business, I would like to be a professional organizer. I actually get a high from organizing things.

8. I was fired from B.urger K.ing when I was 15 because I was too bossy. (hahahahahah!!!!!)

Ok, so I am tagging.... Chili, Me? A mom?, Maybe Baby, ugh and anyone else that hasn't done this yet.

Twiggy is the size of a lime now, mmmm that makes me think of Mexican food... yummy. He is starting to get reflexes and if I poke my tummy it can make him move, not that I can feel it though. Fingers are going to start opening and closing and he'll start making sucking movements.

My tummy is sticking out just a bit more but it's still just squishy fat although there are several pants I now cannot zip at all. Looking forward to the next week or two when I will hopefully pop! The only downside is this horrific trapped gas. About halfway through every meal except breakfast, I get such bad pain. It really sucks. Last night I actually got dizzy and clammy from the pain at one point. I was at a family dinner and excused myself to the restroom. That helped tremendously but wow, I am almost to the point where I don't want to eat out of fear of the pain. I can't pin it on any particular food either. Maybe once I "pop" this might let up a little? Any advice would be appreciated.

In other big news, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! I am 35 today. So last year, AF actually started on my 34th birthday. We were moving on to cycle 8 and I made an appointment with my RE. I know that my only wish was to at least be pregnant by 35. This year, I am just so thankful, it's too much for words. I am going to be greedy though and have 2 birthday wishes.
1. That on my 36th birthday I am holding a healthy, happy 6 month old in my arms.
2. That everyone that is reading my blog right now and is/has been dealing with the hell that is infertility, will be pregnant or have given birth by my 36th birthday.

I don't think either of those is too much to ask after all I have been through. I think it is perfectly fair for both of my wishes to be granted and I completely expect them to.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, I wish you all a good one.

So on the day that I post I don't have much to write about, I am posting twice. Go figure.

I went to my hairdresser tonight. I saw her 3 months or so ago when I was stimming. She was getting ready to do her 6th IVF cycle. This one was different though, she was using her sisters eggs. Well I had heard from someone at work that goes to her too that the cycle had failed and she was moving on to adoption so I was prepared before I got there.

When I walked in she was actually having her dried by another girl so I sat down and started chatting. She asked if I was going to do any color and the conversation went like this:

me: no, I can't
her: you can't?...... you can't!!!
me: nope I can't (slight grin)
her: OMG!!!! I am so excited, how far are you? (please note, the girl drying her hair, looked sooooo confused!)
me: 12 weeks, we got lucky and that first IVF worked (girl drying hair gets look of understanding)
her: (tears welling in her eyes) I am just so happy for you, I really am.

And you know what, I believed her. I think that those of us in the infertility circle are truly so happy for each other. Her IVF had failed a couple months ago and they had already finished their homestudy so fortunately she had moved on mentally. Later we were talking and she said it is like all of us are on this terrible infertility island together and I was able to get off. I liked that analogy. I hope she gets off very soon. I hope everyone who reads this and is still on that stupid island gets off soon.

I have noticed that when the infertility blogs I read move to pregnancy blogs, they start getting updated less frequently. I used to think, What the Hell? They are finally pregnant and they don't want to tell us about it? Well now that I am in the pregnancy shoes, I am understanding a little more. There just isn't that much to say. With the infertility I was constantly getting u/s's, taking drugs, worrying during the 2ww, etc. (except for those gawdawful "rest" cycles) It seemed like I would never run out of stuff and if I did, I could always call my insurance company, get worked up and have a lot to write about.

Well the insurance is done, I'm all reimbursed, no more daily visits with the dildocam, no more 2ww. Heck I don't even have morning sickness to write about!

So here I am apologizing to my faithful readers. I may be moving away from the daily blogging. I guess that is a testament to how happy I am. Writing seems to come from angst (unless you actually have writing talent) and without the angst I am empty of words. I don't think I can just write every day "YAY, I am pregnant!" because that is what I feel everyday. I also thank God I am not worrying anymore. Sure I know there is still alot to worry about but (knock on wood) I am doing ok. You see, I always knew I would have trouble getting pregnant but I never had a feeling of having a rough pregnancy. So all my life I prepared for the infertility part but never prepared for something bad happening during the actual pregnancy, probably because I could never actually visualize being pregnant.

OK, so alot of babbliing but I think you get the gist. I may not be blogging everyday but I will be reading your blogs every day and that is the most important part I think!

We have crossed the 200 line! Today is a huge milestone!

I went to my OB (huge milestone!) and the nurse that checked me in kept saying congrats over and over. That was pretty cool :) My doctor came in and was very pleased as well. Last time I saw her (in June) we discussed adoption and she had given me her attorneys name as she had adopted both of her sons. So she was pretty surprised when I came in and I explained the insurance had increased and the IVF worked. YAY! We discussed pros and cons of the 2 hospitals she delivers at (Verdugo and Huntington) and tests, history, etc. She then tried to hear the heartbeat with a doppler that I swear they bought at Radio Shack about 20 years ago. She warned me she might not hear anything and low and behold she did not. She was very quick to say she heard the baby move though so it was ok but she knew I wanted to hear it so she got me to the u/s tech. When I got in the room, I told the tech I felt more at home and she could do an internal if she wanted to since I was so used to it. No need! she said, the baby will be big enough for external so she actually saw the baby from the outside of my belly! WOW!!! What a concept, so cool! (Don't worry my internals were not feeling left out as the doctor had done a quick peak at my cervix and felt my pubic bones to make sure they were "OK" I wonder what not OK pubic bones feel like?) Anyways, she says "Well no wonder the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat. This baby is moving all over the place! So we watched him for a minute and it was like he was on a trampoline, bouncing up and down! It was so cool to watch. She even did a quick nucal fold test (to check for Downs) and said it looked fine. YAY! So I will not be going for a full blown NT Scan and I am very ok with that. She did some other measurements and said everything looked good. Also at one point she pointed at the screen and said that is accuarte for size, that is how big the baby is. He was huge! She said about 2 inches but wow, that looks so big on the screen!!!

So a quick pee in a cup and 6 vials of blood later I was all done. I am not considered high risk (even at my advanced age of 35 in 5 more days) so my next appointment is November 28th. Dr did say I could come in anytime I wanted without an appointment to have her check the heartbeat though if I ever needed reassurance. I thought that was very cool.

So then I came to work, tracked down my boss and told him I have news with a massive big smile on my face. He said it appeared the news was very good and I said yes "Jamie and I are expecting a baby in May" He gave me a double high five and said that was wonderful and he was very excited for us. I then thanked him and said he played a role in this. He gave me a funny look so I explained that we had been dealing with infertility this past year and his letting me go to the appointments I needed to without tons of questions and no issues, took away a huge potential stress. I said I know that not all managers are good about that sort of thing so I really appreciate it and if baby is a boy will name him after him. That made him laugh and he said I do alot for the team so it was the least he could do. So all is well in work land. In January or February we will talk about maternity leave planning but for now I am to just enjoy this. YAY :) It was so cool to tell him, he said he had an idea but it was nice to hear for sure.

Just an overall awesome day. Happy Halloween!!!

Unfortunately I tried scanning the u/s pics but they are way too grainy that you can't make them out at all. It sucks because the baby was so clear on the screen and everytime she paused it got blurry, maybe because he was moving so much?

Twiggy is about 1.5 inches now and the size of a fig :) My uterus should be popping out any day now (Hopefully in the next 2 weeks) Just for shits and giggles, I had Jamie take a pic of me this weekend with my bella band on. If I were a movie star or Nicole R.itchie I would have paparazzi taking pics and pointing little arrows at my belly "IS THAT A BABY BUMP?" Definitely not suckinable anymore. In fact I think I was sucking in in this picture. Not sure when we will take another one so feel free to giggle to your hearts content. I'm ok with my tummy being laughed at. I waited a long time to have a squishy belly :)



In the topic of, "I am sooooo glad I am pregnant" I went to a baby shower this weekend (which was lovely by the way!) I only knew the honoree and she was a bit busy as you can imagine. So I helped myself to a seat at the corner of an unoccupied table and waited to see who would join me. A few minutes later, her aunt and 3 cousins (I think they were all cousins) sat down. They were all very nice and said hello and got down to chatting. This is where the "Thank God I am pregnant" came in. One has 5 kids, one has 3 kids and the other has 5 and is VERY pregnant with #6. They spent the whole time, well maybe only 90% of the time, talking about their kids. I think if my IVF had not worked I might have had to drown myself in the toilet or run out screaming. Thankfully, I got to sit there with a hand on my slightly bulging belly and say with all sincerity "Thank you God."

Last Friday was my last acupuncture appointment. I want to have a post that is all about how wonderful I think acupuncture is. I truly loved going to every session. Since they were on Friday's, by Wednesday I would start getting excited. I loved the ultimate relaxation feeling I would get. With all the IF stress, I would be so wound up by the end of the week and it would truly be gone by the end of the hour.

I also think acupuncture helped me get my BFP. I had been doing it weekly for about 6 months and even had it done right before and right after my transfer while I was on the table. After my BFP, I kept going but switched to every other week (as my insurance had run out). My acupuncturist thought it would be important for the bulk of the first trimester and considering how much I was worried about every RE appointment, I think it was necessary just to help keep me a bit more calmed.

As for my actual acupuncturist, well she did more than just stick needles in me. She worked with me and talked to me and best of all listened. When I had such fears after my first u/s, she was able to ease my fears tremendously since she is also a nurse-midwife and could speak from experience. All this combined made it so very worth it. When we are able to start thinking about Twiggy #2, I will definitely resume going to acupuncture.

For those of you in the Los Angeles area, if you would like an acupuncturist recommendation, please consider Susan Minich at 818-400-8826. Her office is in Burbank. Just tell her Diana sent you :)

Have a great weekend!

One of my biggest commenters :), Fertilize Me, has gotten a BFP!!! This is such great news, I am so happy for her. Please go share some love!

Happy Fetus day to Twiggy!
Happy Fetus day to Twiggy!
Happy Fetus day dear Twiggy!
Happy Fetus day to you!!!

That's right, Twiggy is now officially a fetus. Pretty darn cool!
Some interesting facts from the Visible Embryo about my amazing overacheiver:
- He has vocal cords forming and can make sounds
- Basic brain structure is complete
- Fingernails are beginning to grow
- Twiggy's skin is very sensitive right now
- He is 1.25 - 1.68 inches long
You are impressed aren't you? :)

We are now professional shot givers and that is not something I ever wanted on my resume. When I moved to England in October 2003, Jamie took my cat Nicki in. We were still just dating at the time but he liked her I guess :) She was a bitchy Seal Point Siamese who only loved me and was 16 years old at the time. How incredibly touched I was by him taking her in is a whole different post.



This post is about what happened a few months later. She got really sick and he took her to the vet who said she had kidney issues. She could die if they didn't start her on a treatment plan which included Jamie giving her saline injections to the back of her neck daily. He would have to inject her with a needle and let a bunch of the saline flow in like an IV. She hated it and would cry and the fluid would pool up in her leg but he did it anyway. I remember he said the first time was really awful, he couldn't get himself to stab her with the needle but finally did. On one of my trips home he tried to teach me to do it but I was scared of needles and just couldn't bring myself to do it. After I moved back home in December 2004 I eventually learned how. Unfortunately she passed away a little over a year ago and we threw away all the needles and saline thinking we were done.

Well as you know infertility then came along... when we told I would have to get shots, Jamie was not phased at all. He never had any problems giving them to me, even the big massive PIO shots!

So that brings me to Orange Cat (she came with the house as an outdoor cat, when Nicki passed we let her come in and be an inside cat, she is now a combo indoor,outdoor cat)



On Saturday we let her out in the morning and she came back about an hour later. I happened to pick her up and noticed a bite on her neck that looked like a vampire bite! I took her to the vet and they cleaned it up and gave her a shot of antibiotics. They then gave me more antibiotics in liquid form, the kind you have to try to force down a cats mouth. I told Jamie about it and he said to ask if we could get shots instead since we are pros. The vet looked at me like I was crazy but I said we would have a much easier time giving a shot than giving an oral medicine. OK, so Jamie goes to give her the shot and all goes well. She gives a mini meow and that is it. Compared to trying to force her mouth open and then keep it closed until she swallows (any of you that have tried this with a cat before know what I am talking about)

So the illness of my beloved Nicki and my infertility have had a tiny piece of silver lining for Orange Cat. Ahhhh.... a long story for a very tiny, thin silver lining. I guess we have to look for it wherever we can.

YAY!!!! We are in the double digits! Twiggy will become a fetus on Thursday! Excitement all around :) He is the size of a kumquat and starting to grow nails. It's just all so cool to think about.

The downside is, I don't feel any of it! My tiredness and hunger are diminishing and my tummy just looks like I ate too much. Is it too much to ask to want to feel pregnant? Last week The Waiting Womb wrote about just wanting to have a belly and she was 26 weeks 5 days when she wrote that! OMG! I don't want to wait until 27+ weeks to look pregnant, I want it now! I just feel like I have waited so long for this.... I know I am very happy to be pregnant, I just want to feel it too. I sound like a whiny baby and that embarrasses me but too bad, it's how I feel.

So pregnant readers or moms that did not have m/s, please post a comment about when you started to feel pregnant. I appreciate it!

Yes, we were out of town for the past 3 days with no access to a computer. Sorry to be so neglectful! We are back now and very behind on reading blogs! The trip itself was uneventful, except I don't think Twiggy likes flying. I was in painful trapped gas (sorry TMI) mode the whole flight. Luckily for my neighbor it was trapped :)

The big news today is it is my last drug day!!!! YAY!!! I got my last PIO shot Tuesday morning before my flight (so for those of you counting, that comes to 120 shots in my ass, thighs and abdomen), this morning I took my last Estradiol pill and baby asprin and tonight will be my last progesterone suppository!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! As of tomorrow I am a normal pregnant lady!!!

The other big news is that I am wearing my bella band today.... oh my, i love it! Granted these pants were a bit tight before the BFP but I blame that on all the drugs. But now I get to wear them comfortably and what a difference!!!

Tomorrow Twiggy turns 10 weeks and is almost done being an embryo. It's a big weekend!

Big appointment today!!! Our RE said that if she could see Twiggy move and an umbilical cord going to the placenta, she would release me to my regular OB. Well, I am released! Twiggy wiggled around for us and moved his arm and kicked his foot (you can only see one of each) His wiggle kind of looked like he hicupped. Jamie and I had the biggest grins and were giggling watching because it was just so darn cute! We could really make out the head and body and the arms and legs. The heart was beating great too at 173 bpm. He is just so much bigger, especially to Jamie who didn't see him at the last appointment.

So my RE was very happy and said we are all done with her. I am travelling tomorrow so I asked about the PIO shots if I could skip a day or should I find a place to give me the shot. She said that if today's bloodwork looks good then Jamie can give me my very last shot tomorrow morning before I leave and I will be done. I will then finish up the suppositories, baby asprin and the estradiol by the end of the week. By Saturday I will be a completely normal pregnant lady!!!! YAY!!!!!

So she gave us a big hug and congratulated us. My nurse then checked us out and also gave us big hugs and a gift from the clinic. A little blanket, bib and spoon with HRC on them, so cute! I can't wait to use them!

I am sad to leave my RE and nurse because they along with everyone else at HRC has just been amazing. I have always felt like a person and treated with respect. All of my questions have been answered, usually by my doctor in the exam room. She would actually talk with me and not just run out the door. I have read about other peoples experiences and I have been so thankful for how my experience has been. So if any of you are near Pasadena, CA, I highly recommend Dr. Michelle Evans at Huntington Reproductive Center. She has been just amazing. I don't know how to thank her enough!

So my next appointment is on Oct 31st with my OB/GYN. I have no idea what will happen at that appointment but I don't think I really care. I am just so over the moon to be at this point.

So here are the u/s, I am really disappointed that I can't scan the pic better. You can really see Twiggy's head and body but it's just not coming across very well here.

I am sure this isn't rocket science to most of you but I have never seen such a direct connection between food and energy before. I can literally be laying on the couch after work (face washed, jammies on of course) and about to fall asleep. Yawning every 15 seconds etc. I will notice I am a touch hungry and get something small. Some crackers, a grandpa scone (yummy!, I have the best scone making grandpa in the world) a banana, etc... As soon as I am done eating I am wide awake, able to sit up and the yawning stops. 2 hours later, I will be laying again... yawning.... realize it's dinner time. I eat and poof! Wide awake again! It's like magic I tell you!

There I said it, I put it in writing. I am past 8.5 weeks and I have not had morning sickness (just a bit of queasiness) So I hereby declare myself Morning Sickness Free!!! May you all have such luck!

OK, now before you all run out and start buying baby gifts, stop, drop and roll! But I do have to tell you about the card and cute fuzzy little infant socks that were sitting on my desk after lunch. :) The socks were wrapped in pink and blue ribbon and the card was to the Mommy to Be. Ahhhhh...... so sweet! They were from a friend that has been following our story. We started TTC a bit after she had her first. A little bit before I started this IVF she had just found out she was pregnant with #2. When she came to check on me and if the IVF worked, I swear I saw her eyes well up when I told her it worked. It's just so nice to be surrounded by people that are so happy for us! I can't wait to be completely in the open!!! (Which will also mean we are past this first trimester!)

Today I went to lunch with S, her baby Ella, her SIL and SIL's friend. Both SIL and SIL friend are pg. It was so much fun to be at a mommy/mommy to be table and fit in! I could contribute to the discussion! I belonged! I mentioned my congestion and all 3 of them said, oh yeah! I had something in common with 2 pregnant women and a mommy! Oh the joy!

In other joys, I received the last of my drugs yesterday! I will be all done with the PIO shots in about 10 days and the suppositories in about 12. SO VERY EXCITING!!!!!

Twiggy is now a kidney bean!

The weekend went very well. I have to tell my cute story about Jamie though. On Friday night I really wanted a chicken pot pie but he was already making steak so I happily ate that. I was still hungry after and mentioned that I would kill for a cherry pie! Well Jamie offered to go to the store and get me one! I said no, that I didn't want to wait an hour for it to cook so he offered to drive down to Coco's (about 15 minutes away) to get me one. I said that was silly and I would think of something else. Well he insisted and even called Coco's to see if they had any and then drove down to buy it! He made me promise to be awake when he got back and I not only promised to be awake when he got back but I promised to be awake long enough to eat a piece of pie! And I did, and it was soooooo damn good! Huge brownie (or cherry pie?) points to Jamie! I told him he's in for a long 7 months if he continues to jump at my beck and call! (I just adore the man and think he is really enjoying this whole pregnancy thing!)

Saturday was interesting. I ran a bunch of errands including buying a Bella Band! I have a few pairs of pants that are starting to get tight and the ones that were really loose are starting to get less loose so I figured I would need it in the next week or two.

I was picking up a friend at Van Nuys airport in the afternoon and I knew that the only Babies R Us anywhere near us is right near the airport. Well I have a baby shower coming up in 2 weeks so I figured I leave a bit early to go to Babies R Us before the airport. (Save money on shipping and be able to buy more present!) I looked forward to it because i thought I could wander up and down the aisles dreaming of what we would maybe register for. Kind of like when I first got engaged I was "allowed" to buy wedding magazines and try on wedding dresses. I felt I was allowed to just look around Babies R Us. Well anyways, I walked in there and stood there like a deer in headlights. I was beyond overwhelmed! I almost felt ill looking at all the areas they had and just didn't know where to begin. So I printed the registry and bought what I wanted and ran out of there! OMG! How does anyone register??? That was scary! I think I will just take S & L's registries and copy them!!!

Yesterday we decided to have a date and went to breakfast. While we were waiting for our food I started to go from hungry to nauseas. I ate my toast and just sat there staring at the rest of my food and didn't have the heart to touch it. I think I waited about 10 minutes for the toast to settle before I started picking at the food and it was good!!!! I just didn't feel well. I finally managed half of it and we went home. I laid on the couch for about an hour and finally felt better. The rest of the day I had slight queasiness. Not sure if this is a sign of things to come or just a big fat sign to not wait til I am hungry to eat!

I had a couple of comments yesterday about me referring to Twiglet as "he". I am convinced Twiglet is a "he". Here is why: "he" took "his" time implanting and gave me a low beta and "he" took "his" time growing and made me wait to see "his" heartbeat. So my scientific conclusion is that "he" will be like his father and be a procrastinator. :)

So Twiggy will be a boy until proven otherwise. We only have 12.5 more weeks til we know for sure!!!

We got another u/s today! Jamie couldn't go so my mom happily took his spot. She was grinning as big as he was last week. The technology sure has changed since she was pregnant with me!

I am happy to report that Twiggy is right on track. He measured 7 weeks 4 days which matches perfectly with the last 2 weeks of measurements. We were also able to HEAR his heartbeat which was pretty cool. It came in at 151.78 bpm. Nice and healthy!! My doctor pointed out the blob of head and blob of body which kind of blended together but she seemed very happy. She also pointed out arm and leg buds but I have to admit that I didn't really see them but I trust that she did!

So the next appointment is on the 15th when I will be 9 weeks and 2 days. She is hoping/expecting we will see Twiggy wiggling around and the umbilical cord attached to the placenta. Assuming we see that, it will be my last appointment with my RE. She will then wean me off the drugs (yay, I will probably be done in 2.5 weeks!!!!) and leave me to the world of normal fertiles in a regular OB's waiting room. Wow, that will be a momentous event. Jamie will definitely be coming to that appointment. It will then be 2 long weeks until my OB appt. She'll probably make me wait a whole month for the next one! How will I go from weekly u/s's to monthly check ups???? Oh well, I will worry about that later. For now, let's admire the u/s pics. First one is the heartbeat measurement and the second is of Twiggy in all his glory!