Sorry I took so long posting but our room doesn't have wireless!!! Tragedy! I just walked down the hallway and opened up blogger so I could post, writing it in my room and then I will go back down the hall and hit the button. :)

I am very pleased to welcome Kacey Joleane Layla to our family!!!!! She was born yesterday (May 28) at 9:12 am. She weighed 7 pounds, 12 ounces and was 20 inches. 10 fingers and 10 toes and a full head of black hair!!!!





I know I am a bit biased but I do think she is perfect!!! I will write out the birth story this weekend after we are settled at home but the short version is that the beginning part of the induction took 11 hours, labor was 22 including 3 hours of pushing. Remember that birth plan? Yeah, every single part of the birth process ended up out the window. Oh well, we have a very healthy girl, I feel great and we even managed to avoid an emergency c-section at 2am that almost happened.

About that name... Kacey is just one we heard and really liked, Joleane is a combo of my paternal grandmother's name Joanne and my maternal grandma's middle name Jeane (which as a bonus is also my mom's middle name too!), Layla is my third name so Kacey and I get to share it :)

I'll definitely get on this weekend and write more and share some more pictures!!! Thanks for all your well wishes and great name guesses!!!!

To those of you still in the trenches and still reading, I promise you, every single tear is worth it. Keep at it, you will achieve this dream. I hope it's much sooner than you expect!!!

Well little miss princess, since you are so cozy inside your mommy, we are going to have to nudge you out. I must tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed our 9 months together of just you and me but it's time for you to meet everyone. Your daddy is so excited to meet you, he says he will miss you in my belly but I think he will forget all about it once he gets to hold you in his arms. When you get out you will have so many grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles to hold you that it might be a while before I get you in my arms again! But don't worry, all these people will help us to love you, protect you and support you. You have no idea how fortunate you are with the amazing people that will be surrounding you.

You are such a wanted little girl!! I just hope we don't suffocate you with hugs and kisses!

I am very much looking forward to meeting you,
Love,
Your mommy

---------------------------------------------
I woke up feeling much better today. What would I do without this blog? I really think writing everything out yesterday made a huge difference for me. Definitely reading such uplifting, wonderful comments helped tremendously too. Also, no one IRL mentioned anything about it and that helped too. I am really ok with going to the hospital tonight and am starting to FEEL EXCITED about meeting Twiggy tomorrow. Yes I am still scared but I have never actually been in the hospital before except for the NST Saturday and my HSG last year. Never have I stayed overnight so that is going to bring about some anxiety no matter what.

Yesterday was wonderful. I got stuff done around the house and spent the afternoon playing Mon.opoly with the family (Dave kicked our butts!!! My mom held her own though and deserves an honorable mention.) Jamie and his dad BBQ'd and we all just had a wonderful time. I was sorry to see Jamie's brother Dave and SIL Kristie leave but hopefully we will see them again real soon. We will certainly be thinking of them as they spent most of their time here cooking for us! They made us 2 lasagnas, 2 soups, and several pies! They are all out in the garage freezer just waiting for us to need them. How wonderful is that? Thank you soooo much Dave and Kristie!

So I probably won't post again until after Twiggy is here. If the wireless is real easy at the hospital I might post progress but if not, I look forward to posting a picture of the Twig ASAP! Until then here is a picture to hold you over.....



I got this idea from Alex, the picture holds the letters in all of Twiggy's name (except her last name) Unscramble it and you will be the first to know! Just a couple of little hints:

• Use the arranged letters, not the messy ones on the side (that is just me being artistic!)
• Know that there are 3-7 extra letters just so this isn't too easy!
• Yes, there is a blank letter! Is that one of the extras? Hmmmm... guess that is up to you to figure out!
• If you can't see the letters very well, click on the picture and it will get bigger.

Have fun!! I look forward to seeing what names you come up with! I can already see the frustration on my mom's face! Mom, you thought not knowing the name was hard, this is a little worse huh? hee hee, I'm a sadistic little brat aren't I!?

First off, if you know me IRL, please don't bring this up with me. I don't want to talk about it, I just want to get it off my chest and into my blog.

I have a ton of emotions going through me about being induced. I am really hoping that they are mainly due to hormones and will be gone the second Twiggy is in my arms.

Resigned - I am resigned to getting induced. The doctor says I should and has a whole list of terrible, frightening things that can go wrong by me not getting induced. She has successfully scared me into it. I know I will have what-ifs afterwards (what if I waited just one more day....), but I also know that I would prefer to have the what-ifs about waiting than having something terrible go wrong from not being induced and have what-ifs about listening to my doctor (oh dear God, what if I had just listened to my doctor.)

Angry - I am really pissed off that I have to be induced tomorrow. This is not what I planned for and not what I want. I am angry that I feel like I keep getting the short end of the stick on this whole making babies thing. I am angry that lots of infertility emotions are popping up. Each morning that I wake up without contractions or a wet bed from my water breaking are so damn f&*king reminiscent of waking up to my period or a low temperature. I relive the pain of seeing a BFN and holding back hope of it being a BFP tomorrow. I know they are nothing close to the same thing but emotions do not differentiate between circumstances.

Guilty and Embarrassed - I feel huge amounts of guilt that I am anything but over the moon with happiness. I know that there are people who read my blog that would give their left arm to be pregnant with a healthy baby. It embarrasses me that they are reading this now. I have been there, I have read blogs of people that went through IF and have complained about something in pregnancy or parenting and I have thought to myself "Where are your rainbows and butterflies? You have a baby damnit, the ultimate dream, just be happy for what you have!" And here I sit, writing this horrifically terrible post about being angry and pissed off that I can't have this the way I want to.

Sad - I truly just want to cry. I want this my way damnit. I had these visions of doing this on my own without drugs, of bringing Twiggy into this world in the most natural, healthy way possible. I think it was my way of making it up to her for starting her off in such an unnatural way. I was making it up to myself too.

Stupid - Believe it or not, there is a small part of me that feels stupid. I can envision a few people I know saying "I told you you couldn't have a baby without drugs. That's why I rolled my eyes at you when you suggested it. You are stupid for thinking you could. What a waste of money those Brad.ley classes were. Oh and by the way, you will suck as a mom too." Part of me wanted to prove them wrong so badly. That I could do anything I set my mind to. I know this is insignificant in the bigger picture and this is a small emotion for me compared to the others but it is still there.

Scared - I have read alot on post partum depression. There is a lot of research to show that people who go through IF (dads included) are at higher risk of PPD due to the idealization they place on having a baby. If I am this upset about the giving birth part, how am I going to handle the disappointments of being a mom? I have mentioned to Jamie several times the signs of PPD and hope that he never sees them in me.

Scared part 2 - I am scared that the cervidil will not completely put me into labor and I will have to use pitocin to start contractions. I am scared the pitocin will make the contractions too much to handle or that my body won't progress and I will get completely worn out and need an epidural. I am scared the epidural will slow the labor even more and I will need a c-section. I am scared of the slope and sliding down it.

Worst of all of this is the fact that I am lacking the most important emotion of all. I have no excitement about the chance of our baby being born on Tuesday. I am so overwhelmed with all this other crap that I can't see the big picture right now. All these negative emotions are taking over and I just feel so defeated by them. I want to not just be resigned to the induction but look forward to it. I want to flip the switch, turn all these off and focus on the rainbows and butterflies. This is my goal for today. I think I am done with the walking and all the other stuff. I am going to try and relax and just enjoy today and tomorrow for what they are and let go of trying to control it. I need to do this. I need to let go of the control. This is a huge lesson in becoming a parent right?

WOW, it's amazing how much better I feel just writing that out. Sounds stupid but it gives me a bit of my control back in just letting go. I can try to control my day and turn it around. I must say it again though, if you know me IRL, please do not bring any of this up to me. I do not want to talk about it and I don't want to regret writing about it. Thank you.

OK, just got back from 2.8 mile walk, half of it uphill. That is over 6 miles today, I think I can say I am doing almost everything possible. I am officially pooped and looking forward to not walking for a while.

Here I am yelling (well not really....) at Twiggy to GET OUT!!!



So here we are at 41 weeks. Not one little contraction yet. We walked 3.3 miles this morning and did a lot of uphill walking. Nothing, I was barely worn out at the end!! Who would have ever thought that I would walk 3.3 miles 7 days past due!? This is getting ridiculous!

We went to Labor and Delivery this morning for my scheduled NST. As we walked up Jamie commented that this was like a big tease. The NST went well, Twiggy looks great. The nurse confirmed our induction for Monday night. Sigh.... I've got 2 nights left. What's keeping me sane is KNOWING that I won't get to 42 weeks. I will wake up next Saturday, at home, with my baby girl.

Well no news here. Our doula had weekend plans to go away (about a 5 hour drive) she was going to cancel them. We told her not to! Once she gets on the road then Twiggy will definitely come out! Don't worry, she is going to drive back on down here IF I ever go into labor and they are coming back on Sunday no matter what. Honestly, I'm not worried at all. Also, my OB is off this weekend and not on call. This has to help the stars align too right?

Jamie's dad, brother and SIL all arrived safe and sound. Jamie was hoping to do some hiking with them and mountain biking with his brother but this weird weather has hit SoCal. It is raining right now!!!! WTF? It's May for goodness sakes and it was 104 on Monday!!! Very weird. I predict an earthquake sometime this weekend. Maybe that will shake Twiggy out!!! haha!

-------------------------
Happy 17 weeks to my special friend. This is a MASSIVE milestone for her. Last year her son was born at 17 weeks and was not able to make it. This pregnancy has been a wonderful blessing with no complications. Please send your good thoughts her way. Thanks!

I really liked IJ. It was a lot of fun. I tried to go in with no expectations so that I wouldn't be disappointed and I wasn't.

I went to my OB for another NST and that was fine, she also checked my amniotic fluid levels and they looked really good. I have not progressed since Tuesday so we went ahead and scheduled an induction for Monday night. :( The plan is to go in at 8pm and have cervidil inserted. I will then sleep at the hospital overnight and in the morning they will be able to remove it. Hopefully this will get me dilated enough for the doctor to break my water and bring on labor. If not, they will start the pitocin. I am going to ask for as low a level of pitocin as possible and hope that will bring on labor. If I can just get labor going then I can hopefully have all the drugs removed and progress on my own. There's a lot of if's and hopes going on here.

That gives me 4 more days to go into labor on my own. If I don't by then, then I am resigned to getting her out. I guess drugs got her in there so drugs will get her out. I am trying not to be disappointed and will keep walking and having sex over the next few days and hope she surprises us!

Thanks for all your well wishes!

About 6 weeks ago I started complaining that I was going to miss the opening of In.diana J.ones. The first time I saw that the opening date was May 22nd my heart dropped. Oh no!! I won't be able to go! Sounds really stupid but this really stressed me out. I really thought about it, could I leave the baby with my mom at only a week old to go see the movie? Probably not, oh well, the plan became that I would go to the mommy and me movies and hope it played a month or so after Twiggy came. (There is a theater in Pasadena that has mommy and me movies on Mondays at 11am. They have the lights up a bit and a changing table and new moms go with their babies.I have 2 friends that have gone and they loved it!)

Well thanks to Twiggy, I just bought Jamie and I tickets for the 9:45 showing this morning. Maybe this is what she was waiting for. Thanks Twiggy. You can come out at 11:45.

So we went to Chipotle and the castor oil finally did it's thing. It did what it promised but without ANY cramping or anything so alas, no labor contractions. I guess I should be glad that if it wasn't going to start labor at least it didn't put me in a miserable agony. So another old wives tale didn't work for me. Shocking. I actually have to laugh about it, it is kind of funny. :)

Well it's been 4 hours and nothing. Nada! Zilch!!!! I took a nap for about an hour and just took a shower. I am a touch nauseas but that could also be because I am a touch hungry. So I am off to eat a banana. I am planning on going out to lunch at this point. Maybe I will finish off the castor oil after lunch but I may just call it a bust. Farrah suggested getting on my hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor. I don't know if I want her out THAT badly though! haha!!!! Thanks for all the well wishes. We are planning on going to Chipotle for lunch so maybe some carne asada is just what I need!

I just drank 8 ozs of OJ mixed with 2 ozs of castor oil. Let's see if this works as an evacuation notice!

I woke up at 1:30am and my stomach hurt a little bit. I got all excited, peed, went back to sleep. Woke up at 2:30 and it didn't hurt anymore. By the time I got up at 6, I felt perfectly normal :( I am not discouraged though! We have until Monday night to go into labor, that's plenty of time! Today would be nice though. Jamie's dad, brother and sister in law get here late Thursday night. Unfortunately brother and SIL leave on Monday so there is a good chance they will miss meeting Twiggy. They are being good sports about it and saying they have a lifetime to see her but it still sucks a bit! If we could somehow have a baby today I could be home by Friday..... Come on Twiggy!

I'll definitely post an update later on the castor oil. My understanding is to wait 4 hours then do the other 2 ozs. I'll give up after that. Don't worry, I won't post any gorey details of the side effects of the castor oil, just if it starts labor.

Just had my doctor appointment and Jamie was able to go with me. We did the NST which was different. I normally go after lunch and Twiggy jumps all over which is what they want to see. Well I guess she was taking her morning nap! Her heartbeat was good but it wasn't moving. So they had me drink some cold water to wake her up, Jamie suggested putting the cold bottle on my tummy. So I set it right on her butt and within 15 seconds she was moving away from the bottle! That really woke her up!

The doctor then came in and I had a few questions. I asked if we had to induce could we just wait til Tuesday and that I would be completely ok with inducing then as I would be 10 days late. She said she would want to see me Friday and monitor me over the weekend but that is should be ok. YAY!!! She then did my internal and said I had progressed. I am now at 1cm, 40% effaced and still -1 station. She is just so pleased with baby's position! She also said my cervix feels much different and she does not think we will have to induce at all. She is pretty confident I will go into labor on my own! Whew! What a relief to hear that! I told her about trying the castor oil today and she said to wait until tomorrow. Since she did the internal that could get things started so let's give that a chance first. OK with me. So let's see what happens today and if nothing then castor oil tomorrow. I also asked if she was going to do an u/s to check my fluid levels and she said she would on Friday. So I guess she really is comfortable with letting me go.

I feel much more relaxed knowing she is not going to push me to induce on Friday. I just like knowing I have more time and I don't have to worry about all the doom and gloom things that could happen. It's a good morning!

Still here. Santa has yet to show. I've laid out the cookies and milk and still nothing. We walked yesterday, invited family over for a BBQ and poker game and still nothing. So I have decided to make plans for the week. We are going to work on the backyard this morning and I am going to Alex's house this afternoon to meet her new baby Taline. Maybe Twiggy will hear Taline's voice and want to come out to meet her? I'm going to try to schedule some lunches and stuff for the rest of the week. Jamie says I am too stressed out and I agree but I don't know how to cut it out. Everytime I wake up in the middle of the night and realize I am still not in labor, I lay awake and think about how much I don't want to be induced but then I think about all the bad things the doctor said could happen if I go too long overdue. Part of my wants to say f&$% it all and just ask her for a c-section tomorrow to get it overwith. Jamie thinks I am crazy. I don't disagree.

Well here we are without the slightest bit of cramping. Both mom and MIL think I dropped more during the day yesterday. Hm, I don't see it but they think they do. Let's hope they are right. I'd love to be wrong on this one! We did a second 2 mile walk last night. During the walk we were waiting for MIL who was chatting with a neighbor and I started to do jumping jacks. I did 2 and both Jamie and my mom freaked out and made me stop. It was pretty funny though. Would've loved to see someone drive by and laugh at the pregnant lady doing jumping jacks. When we got home, more stretches, squats and about an hour on the birthing ball. Today will be lots more of the same. Come on Twiggy!

Wherever you are!!! Come on Twiggy, it's time now!!! I woke up so disappointed, almost depressed this morning that I was not in labor. This is not good, I can't wake up like this every day. I WILL BE HAVING A BABY SOON. That needs to be my only focus, not worrying about when she will come. I just don't know how to shake myself of that. I gotta tell you though, the phone calls and constant questions of "Do you have contractions yet?, "Just calling to see if you went into labor yet!" These make it much harder. Having to answer over and over again "No I am not in labor, no the baby is not here, no I don't have any contractions." This is wearing me out. We already know that I have HUGE issues with my body not doing what it is supposed to do (Hence the IF, 4 IUI's and IVF). The entire first trimester I was absolutely petrified of miscarrying because if my body couldn't get pregnant, how could I expect it to figure out how to stay pregnant. Well now it's coming back full force, how can I expect my body to know how to go into labor and give birth to a living, breathing baby? In a way I am putting this all on Twiggy and expecting her to figure it all out.

So honestly, when people ask me if I am in labor yet or having contractions yet, I have to really pause and force myself to accept that they are saying it out of love and excitement. I know they are not judging me and questioning whether my body is performing as it should. I know they just want to be involved, how do I get my emotional, stressed out part of me to comprehend that?

A couple days ago a guy friend of mine called. When I answered the phone he said "So how is the fat lady doing? Still uncomfortable?" I laughed then chatted with him for a while. It was soooo non-stressful because he never once asked me directly. I guess it comes down to that I never had to go on the defensive. I think that is it. I didn't have to explain that well my due date is still a few days away, or explain that 80% of first time babies are past their due date and the average is 8 days. I guess with the other calls I feel a need to defend myself as to why I am not in labor yet, explain why my defective body is not doing it's job.... wow, I am really rambling on this point. So very sorry about that. To all my other infertile pregnant friends, see what you might have to look forward to? The craziness just doesn't end, does it? To my wonderful friends and family that have called and asked me those questions, I do love you and I apologize if I answered you in a short manner or sounded like I was losing my patience. I really am sorry, I know you love me and are soooo excited to meet Twiggy. I'm so very sorry that I am just not good with handling this. It truly is not you, it's me.

------------------------------
OK, let's change the subject, what am I doing to get this little girl out of here? Well this morning my mom, MIL and I went for a very nice 2 mile walk. It has been really hot the last few days (Reminder, I am in Los Angeles) so we went bright and early and it was just gorgeous out. I kept a very good pace, both mom and MIL were breathing a bit heavy too so that shows that I was doing pretty good! (BTW, they are both in pretty good shape :) After I finish this post, I will go do my stretches and some extra squats and then bounce around on my birth ball for a while. Let's get as much gravity as possible involved. I threatened Twiggy with a good bouncing jog if she doesn't show soon...

----------------------

Jamie took this belly pic this morning, he thinks Twiggy has dropped in the last few days. My mom agrees, what do you think?



As Jamie was taking the pics, she started to wiggle around. I was pointing at her butt which was sicking straight out, it doesn't really show in the picture very well but my belly got really lopsided for a second.





------------------------

OK, that's it for my due date post. Regardless of my bitching at the beginning, I know that you all know how excited I am to be here. I still can't believe I am here. I truly cannot comprehend that a baby will be here in the next 2 weeks sometime. It does not seem real at all. I guess that is a huge part of why this is sooo hard. If you can't truly believe something will happen, how can you accept that it will happen? Know what I mean?

I told Jamie this morning that this is kind of like going to bed at night thinking you will wake up to a wonderful Christmas morning, but then you wake up and Santa hasn't come :( He said I can't say that until after my due date. We both agreed I never should have done that internal. Thank goodness I didn't start them at 37 weeks!

My mom, Jamie's mom and I are about to go out to Descan.so Gardens (where we did my maternity pics) So a nice long walk in the scorching heat. Let's see if that gets Twiggy to plan an exit strategy!

This morning we met with the attorney and signed our wills. Check, check!! Off the list!! That feels good to have that done. SO for those of you that know me, know the originals are in our safe deposit box and a copy sealed in an envelope in our desk at home.... just in case :)

Jamie's mom has arrived! My mom and grandma are going to go pick her up now and they will all be back here by lunchtime.

All right Twiggy, time for you to come!!!!!

Our Bradley teacher had advised against internals because they don't tell you a whole lot. If you are dilated then you get disappointed when you don't go into labor in a couple of days, if you aren't dilated then you get upset that you "haven't made any progress." After she discussed this with us I started paying attention to the chat boards and found people saying exactly these things. So I decided against internals and I have been pretty content up until today. My OB insisted on doing one since I was so close to due date and I agreed since next appointment would be post due date. She didn't push it, just strongly recommended it and had no problem with me not wanting one before today. I have to admit that a tiny part of me was looking forward to knowing where I was at.

So I go in and have my NST, no contractions and Twiggy looks great. She then does my internal. I am a fingertip dilated, 30% effaced and -1 station. The -1 station is great, it means Twiggy's head is nice and low and getting into a labor position. The non dilation and the not so soft cervix mean labor is not near. This isn't a big deal EXCEPT she brought up the "I" word (induction). She does not like her patients to go more than a week overdue and a week for me is next Saturday...... on Memorial weekend. Ugh, so if she had her way she would want to induce Friday. Then she starts talking cytotec if my cervix has not changed which I am very against so she would have to use something else which she says is slower meaning she would want me in on Thursday morning for the "I" word. Ugh, I appreciate her telling me all of this now. I do trust her as a doctor and respect her opinion. I am bothered that the 3-day weekend affects her letting me wait it out. If I were to insist on going over 1 week then she would want to check my fluid levels and do an NST daily which would mean at the hospital since her office would be closed. Ugh, ugh, ugh! Stupid 3 day weekend! I wish I had not done the internal and just didn't know. Now I am stressed about my silly cervix. MUST.... FOCUS.... ON.... -1.... STATION!!!!

So her prescription is lots of sex to soften up my cervix (sorry to mom for having to read that!) and tons of walking. I have my next appointment on Tuesday and both my doctor and I really hope I get to cancel it!

So go ahead and leave your comments of a fingertip dilated that opened wide within a few days!!! Thanks!!!

----------------------------------
On a happier note....
Look at this beautiful blanket!!! Thank you Debbie!!! She made it :) The "K" is for our last name. She normally puts the initial of the babies first name but since we weren't telling the name she did the "K". I think it is perfect!!!

If you want to make a guess about Twiggy's birth date and her weight, go ahead and leave a comment. I will then post everyone's guesses over on the right and we will see who comes the closest!

My guess is May 21st and she'll weigh 7 pounds, 10 ounces.

Yesterday I went ahead and saw a nursing bra person. Our Bradley teacher had recommended her and she is actually just a few blocks away from me. She has this great setup in a spare room in her house like a mini store. Tons of stock and lots of different bras, tanks, slings, etc! I splurged a bit because I will be wearing these things non stop for the next year or so and it still works out cheaper than formula :) I got 3 bras, a sleeping bra and 2 lovely Bravad.o tanks. I have heard lots of great things about the tanks and since summer is around the corner, I have a feeling I will live in them. We got to chatting and she cloth diapers so I learned from her to. Call me a sponge, you say cloth diaper, I start asking questions. I just don't think I can learn enough! It's kind of weird that I find a poop receptacle so interesting. She also talked about how her and her husband exclusively wear their baby. They don't own a stroller! WOW, that never even crossed my mind. I do plan on baby wearing but 100%? I'm not sure about that. Anyone else not own a stroller because of babywearing?

I also made 2 batches of one of my favorite homey meals. I call it slop, it's a pasta, ground beef, tomato sauce and other stuff mixture. It worked out to 8 servings and I split them into individual baggies and froze them. So yeah! I have at least 8 meals. Told Jamie they are mine and only mine :) When he got home, he was so excited, thought we were having slop for dinner because he smelled it. I guess I should have made 3 batches :) Maybe tomorrow.

If energy is a sign of labor then I am getting there. When my mom and I took our walk yesterday I had a great pace going. I felt like I could have done it twice, with a pee break of course! I was wide awake until 10 and just felt like I had tons of energy to burn. Hmmm, we'll see. There's nothing for me to nest with, we cleaned the garage over the weekend and the to-do list is pretty much done. Anyone need their house organized? haha! Just kidding!

BTW, I will try to post when we go into labor and leave for the hospital. I can't promise but I should be able to unless something crazy happens! Not sure if there is internet at the hospital though so I may not be able to post about the birth until I get home. So if you don't hear from me for 2 days straight, assume I am holding Twiglet!

Well I really hope I am not writing a title of "40 weeks, 2 days" next Monday!! Is it wrong of me that I wake up a little disappointed in the morning that I haven't gone into labor? Saturday really would be the perfect day but I can't help going to bed at night hoping a little that I will wake up with menstrual type cramps at 3am. I just really want to meet Twiggy! BTW, she's being compared to the weight of a mini watermelon this week.

Thank you very much for all of the lovely compliments on my maternity photos. I love them too and really appreciate the comments. :)

I had a very nice weekend. We again spent it like it was our last (although driving to Vegas at 10pm on Friday would've been a better way to prove the point!!) Jamie and I took a nice long walk, saw Iron Man (which was fantastic!) and had a friend over for dinner. For Mother's Day we had a family breakfast, which we do every year (although this year, I was not avoiding looking around at babies and bellies, it was much more enjoyable.) Jamie gave me a very cute card from Twiggy and a onesie with mommy and baby giraffes that said "Mommy and Me" and a bright pink bathrobe for Twiggy with an elephant on it. He said he really enjoyed shopping in the baby clothes section! Woo-hoo! My mom also gave me a very sweet card from Twiggy. :) I'm gonna be a lucky mommy :)

I also made this recipe for Cinnamon-Maple Applesauce. I don't think I have ever put a recipe on my blog but this was sooooooo good and sooooo easy.

Some congrats to blogs I read:

• Me? A mom? - She had her second daughter yesterday! This blog is one of the very first I ever started reading.
• Balancing Act - She was my due date twin and had her baby girl last week. (I gotta admit I am jealous!!)

Good luck to All Things Peachy! as today is her due date!!! She is the one I had lunch with last week. Obviously the Labor salad did not work for her!

Remember those maternity pics that my friend's cousin took of us? Well I got the cd of them! I am really excited. I love most of them, there are a couple with a double chin that I don't care that much for but there are a few that are just lovely. If you want to see them all click here.

Here are a couple of my favorites though.

This is NOT a complaining post, just a post of things I will not miss about being pregnant. Of course I recognize how incredibly fortunate I have been with this pregnancy and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat (and wouldn't that be wonderful if I got to do it again!!!!) So I think in comparison to alot of other pregnancies, my list is pretty short but I'll write it anyway just Twiggy knows I suffered a little bit :)

I will not miss:

• not being able to wear my wedding rings
• having to pee every hour on the hour
• hemorrhoids
  
• cankles
• heartburn
• my Snoog.le (don't get me wrong, I love it but I will not miss it!)
• needing to go to bed by 10pm at the absolute latest
• getting completely worn out by a measly 3 mile walk
• everyone asking me all the time "How are you?" with a strange twinkle in their eye
• being careful to not bump my belly on the sink, stove, etc.
• having trouble reversing in the car because it is hard to turn around
• having trouble sitting in a regular chair as it hurts my back so much
• not being able to wear any shoes
• waking up worrying about when I will feel Twiggy move again

For some balance, things I will definitely miss

• having Twiggy all to myself
• knowing that the minute I drink orange juice or eat a banana, she will start doing acrobatics
• pushing on her butt and feeling her push back
• the wonder of what she will look like, be like, etc
• the anticipation of meeting her for the first time
• putting my hands on my belly and feeling a miracle
• everyone asking me all the time "How are you?" with a strange twinkle in their eye (yeah, yeah, I know it's up above too but sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't, my prerogative as a pregnant lady!)
• people asking when I am due and giving me "that smile"
• just feeling special because I have a miracle inside
• not having to wonder if I will ever get pregnant (I typed this line with tears in my eyes because I know I will be changing this someday to "will I ever be able to get pregnant again?")

------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy 15 weeks to someone very special to me!!! You are almost half way!!!!

Q: I was wondering how you knew what all your alternatives were, as far as your birthing plan, vaccinations, measuring your progress, etc. Is it from a book, or your classes?

A: Most of this I did learn from my classes. We took classes on The Bradley Method which I highly recommend. They are very thorough in discussing all of your options. We knew early on in the pregnancy that we wanted to try for a drug free delivery and the Bradley Method supports that. All the other information we got was a big bonus!

I will be learning more about vaccinations using the Dr. Sears "The Vaccine Book".

Good luck!

The last time I got excited about single digits was the countdown to the IVF Retrieval! 9 more days.... What if I go over? Do I start counting up or just stop the counting all together? What will the tickers do? Hmmm... I hope I don't find out!

Here is a pic of my friends that came over on Tuesday. Stacie and Ella with LaRee and Londyn. Aren't they cute!! The girls loved looking at each other!



My aunt and cousins shipped this to us yesterday. What a neat surprise! Looking at it was like a treasure hunt, all sorts of neat things all over! It's about 2 feet tall and just stuffed with useful and cute items. I can't imagine how much fun they must have had putting it together! I can't bear the idea of taking it apart so it will sit on our dining room table for a while.

5 pieces of pepperoni, black olive, artichoke pizza 2 hours before bed.... so not a good idea. Here I am at 3:18 am writing on my blog. Where would I rather be? In bed... asleep preferably! The problem is that when I am horizontal, ugh, heartburn like crazy. I just need a good burp! I have been awake for about 30 minutes now. Sitting up is definitely helping. Hoping I will feel better enough to go back to bed very soon!

Day 2 of maternity leave yesterday was really nice! Jamie snuck out of the room when the alarm went off so I slept in until 7. I lounged around until the loaner changing table came, which looks great by the way. Certainly not as wonderful as the dresser and hutch will look but it will do. I then had my 38 week NST and Dr appt which went very well. I have asked my doctor not to do any internals because I don't want to know my progress. It seems to me that knowing your progress doesn't do any good. You can be 2 cm dilated for weeks. I have heard people talk about "Oh no, I'm not making any progress, etc" I would rather not know. She is insisting on doing an internal at my next appointment though and I am ok with that.

Side note - Orangie loves that I am awake. She is pacing the top of the desk purring so loud! Trying very hard to get me to pet her and stop typing. What is she going to think when I am awake at 3am but have a baby in my arms?

Later in the afternoon, my friends Stacie and LaRee came over with their daughters Ella (11 months) and Londyn (5 months). It was so nice to hang out and chat and see the babies and how much (how fast!!!!!) they are growing. Little Twiggy is going to have such great friends to play with! Lucky girl. :) It was also interesting for me to see how non-child friendly our house is!! Ella is crawling and loved all the stuff she could get into. One of the cutest things though was when we went into the nursery (so I could show it off) and I turned on the light. Ella looked up and pointed and said "IGHT!!! IGHT!!! IGHT!!!" She doesn't quite have the "L" figured out but it was absolutely adorable. We kept praising her so she was saying it over and over. Very proud of herself!!!

Looking forward to tomorrow (well today I guess) I am going to a friends house that cloth diapers to see her setup and practice on her daughter. Ia m also meeting up with my cousin in the evening to go to the Pasadena Showcase House. I go pretty much every year and love it! We'll see how I do this year with the lines and stairs etc!

Orangie has settled down into her new favorite spot on the glider. She loves it there but I don't love all the fur she leaves behind! Oh well, what can you do?

BTW - Did you notice there are only 10 (YES TEN!!!) days until my due date??? Crazy!!!!

Since I am now on maternity leave, the idea of getting up at 5:45 to go for a walk is out the window. So my mom and I went last night around 7pm. I decided to try the 3 miles and add a small hill back in. Nor sure we will do that again though! I was completely done in by the time we got home. It could have been that it was a Monday (I don't do these walks on the weekends) or it could be that it was the end of the day. I think I will try it again today and if it still kicks my ass then no more hill. The hill itself wasn't too bad. I didn't have to stop but I walked pretty slow and I felt it in my thighs. It took me a while to recover though. Luckily at the bottom of the hill which is about half way through the walk there is a Del.Taco.... with a bathroom! I was seriously about to pee my pants! That could be the incentive to keep the route. Walking for an hour without peeing is very difficult and only getting harder. About 1/2 mile from home, I told my mom I was done in, wished my door was right there and it was a bit exhausting to get home. We decided we must bring a cell phone on the next walk, just in case.

When I got home, I peed of course, drank 16 ounces of water in about 1 minute and laid down. I wasn't sure if the pain under my belly was just heavy belly pain or contractions. After laying 10 minutes and the water, the pain went away completely. I really don't want to go into labor until at least Thursday!!!

So for something funny.... As I was putting on my walking clothes, I just had to laugh. It's funny how little skin space there is between the back of my sports bra and the back of my pants. But on the front! WOW! I cann't pull the pants over my belly so they sit below. I thought you all could get a little giggle out of this.





Yesterday I also met up with Alex and we went to a local restaurant to have the "Labor Salad" It had walnuts in it (I am highly allergic) so I didn't get it but she did. Let's see if anything happened last night or today!! She is due 5 days before me...

Well Twiggy is supposed to be close to 7 pounds now.... hmmm.. we'll see! I have gained about 24 pounds at this point so I am real curious to see what she arrives at.

I keep getting asked how I feel. I guess that is just the standard question once people know the sex and have asked about the name (still a secret!!!) I always say fine, I feel good and actually it really is the truth. I am still getting great sleep, I wake up 2-3 times to pee but generally fall right back to sleep. I am still walking 2 miles a day during the week and starting today, we are going to try to do 3 miles. The only thing that might stop me is needing to pee!! Haha! I have a good appetite and no specific cravings or turn offs. So really I am doing very good. I had a guy at work ask me how I was doing and when I told him really well, he responded with "my wife hates people like you." His wife had really tough pregnancies but considering she got pregnant pretty much whenever they wanted to and they now have 3 children, I could say I hate her right back. :) But I didn't and I don't. I do recognize how fortunate I am for having such an easy pregnancy. Maybe it will all bite me in the ass during the delivery!!

About the delivery, I am not scared or overly anxious about it right now. I think the only thing I am stressed (and that is not even the right word) is now knowing when it will happen. As you might have noticed, I am a planner and like things to be very organized. This is really difficult for me! I know you moms out there are laughing hysterically and thinking, just you wait Diana, you think you can plan things now.... I know, I know, my life is going to change and I won't have control over lots of things. I am aware of that but it doesn't mean it won't drive me crazy!

Yippppeeee~!!!!! I have dreamed of this day for ages!!!! It should be a nice, quiet, easy day. Definitely leaving early! Funny thing is that I have plans for every single day next week!!! Mostly just lunch time so I will still get lots of napping/couch time. I sure hope Twiggy stays in at least another week so I can enjoy this "vacation" before the real work begins!

Enjoy your weekend! I know I will ;)

In the Month of May. The month our daughter will be born in.... unless she is 16 days late!!! Just so hard to believe.. imagine... comprehend. WOW, just wow.

Remember the furniture drama? Well we ordered our Mun.ire crib, dresser and hutch mid January. Jamie could not believe we were ordering it so early but I insisted. Harumphh. So we have the crib but have you seen me post any pics of the dresser and hutch? No? Funny I have them right here.... oh no, actually I don't because they are not here!!!! They were supposed to be here by mid-April! Well they are on backorder May 17th. Does that date sounds familiar? The store told me that that is when they will be at the Mun.ire warehouse so the store won't even have them until early June!!!! So instead of telling you the extremely long, Diana very pissed off version, I'll just say that I have at least a $100 and possibly a $200 credit coming as well as a loaner changing table being delivered on Tuesday. Thank goodness we will not be changing Twiggy on the dining room table... well unless she arrives before Tuesday!