What is this little angel starely so intently at?



Since I removed the bumper and the big red bird that was on the bumper obviously went with it, I put in this book that opens up so Kacey had something to look at. She was staring so intently so I followed her eyes and saw this...



Yes, she had picked out the bird, I guess they don't need to be red!

I was a bad mom and didn't take her picture yesterday, there was never a good time and by evening she had a complete and total meltdown. She was very hungry and tired when we got back from our walk so my mom changed her diaper and I swaddled her (all while she was screaming.) I laid down and started to try to feed her, after trying both sides and her continuing to scream I finally stood up and put her on my shoulder. I swayed and sang to her, repeating Kacey Joleane Layla (one of her favorite songs!) in a sing song voice over and over again. She finally calmed down and I was able to feed her. She still wouldn't sleep so she was up for the next hour or so but just stared into space. Very odd. So no picture was taken, but I did get one today! I got a couple of snaps but no smiles, she was hungry and mad that I was postponing her feeding to take a picture. She'll be glad I did about 20 years from now! I knew she was ready for a nap so the picture was now or never. So here is the pic and a couple of her protesting. I hate to say it but I love her little angry face!

I just love the crib bumper that came with Kacey's bedding set. She loves it too. There is a big red bird that matches her mobile right in her line of sight. Unfortunately I had to remove it today. In all this wonderful sleep she has been getting, she has started to wiggle alot in her sleep. Before it just was side to side. A rolled up blanket on each side of her pretty much kept her in place. Well now her feet actually push on the mattress and she moves up. I even have her swaddled!!! So last night when she woke up for her 2:30 feeding (yes, the 4am feeding disappeared as fast as it came) She was almost at the top corner of the co-sleeper was banging her head against the side. I fed her and put her back. When I got her for her 5am feeding she was in the same position. I watched her for a minute and as her head went back and forth, it kept getting really close to the side. Could it get stuck somehow and cause her to suffocate? I don't think so in the co-sleeper but I am very concerned about the crib bumper. She is really consistently sleeping in there for naps so it needs to be safe.

So bye bye bumper. :( It was soooo cute too! But it wouldn't be cute with a suffocated baby next to it.

So fellow blog readers that also had bumpers. Did you take yours out? When did you do it? Did you ever put it back? Am I being silly?

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Oh and about the earthquake. I was sitting on the couch feeding Kacey and when it started I got up and moved to the middle of the living room to be away from the windows. She never stopped eating. :) She is now a true California girl!!!

As you know MIL was in town. Yesterday Kacey fell asleep on her around 5:15 in the afternoon. My mom and I went for a walk and left Kacey to sleep with MIL (she was very happy with that arrangement!!:) I was surprised to find her still asleep when we got back.... hours go by.. Jamie gets home... Kacey still asleep... we move her to the bouncy chair and eat dinner... still asleep.... 9pm.. still asleep... hmmm what do we do with her?.... 10pm... change her into a nighttime diaper, she sleeps through the changing.... I take her to bed with me and feed her in her sleep then put her in the co-sleeper, still asleep of course.... I prep myself to wake up at 1am or something.... 4am I wake up to noisy but still sleeping Kacey.. I feed her and put her back...5:30am Jamie gets up and moves sleeping, noisy baby to crib in the nursery and comes back to bed... 6:30am Jamie wakes up for good and checks on Kacey.. she is wide awake, silently watching her mobile. Total sleeping time = 11 hours.

We have had a fun weekend so far. Kacey's Grandma Marie is here and we have done all sorts of fun things! Here is a pic of both grandmas reading to Kacey.



Here is Kacey with her Great-uncle Tom reading a book he got her!


Recognize this background? It's at Descanso Gardens, Jamie and I took a maternity picture in this spot :)


Kacey woke up at 3am and 5am today so I guess the skipped feedings were short lived. Oh well, maybe next month!

OK, this is getting strange. We were at my grandparents house for dinner last night and while there Kacey had a poop explosion. I knew she had a dirty diaper but when I opened it up.... WOW! Poop everywhere. That is one damn good diaper cover! All was contained inside and not one speck of poop on her pristine white onesie! I called Jamie over and we took her and the diaper bag into the bathroom. We quickly removed her outfit and took off the diaper and cover and dumped them into the wet bag. Jamie then used like 10 wipes to clean her up. I suggested just putting her int he bathroom sink or even the tub but once Jamie started cleaning there was no stopping him. A man on a mission. Kacey was so funny the whole time. She just seemed so proud of herself and had the biggest smiles. When we came back out, everyone asked what we kept laughing about. It was all Kacey. She was just so darn cute!

Well I digress from the 8 hour story... anyways, since we were at my grandparents and had the poopexlosion, we wanted to give her a full bath when we got home. So by the time all was done, Kacey was having her last feeding and was in bed by 9:15, sound asleep. I woke up at 3 am but she was sound asleep still. I went to the bathroom (still do every night... must be leftovers from being pregnant), came back and stood looking in her co-sleeper waiting for her to wake up. She never did. She was so silent that my heart even skipped a beat. I put my hand on her chest and felt it move. That wasn't good enough, I touched her cheek to make sure it was warm. It was. All right, I left her alone. It took me a while but I fell back asleep. 5 am I wake up again. She's still sound asleep but wiggling a little bit. She starts to grunt but not enough to indicate she needs to be picked up and fed so I just lay there waiting. Then a big fart! Grunting stops and she is quiet again. Well at this point my girls were really starting to hurt. At about 5:15 I figured she had been asleep for 8 solid hours and she started wiggling again. Leftie started to leak. I picked her up and put her in bed with me and relieved poor leftie while I pushed with my palm on rightie so she wouldn't start leaking in protest. Kacey pretty much stayed asleep like she usually does for her 5am feedings (I feed her because she gets so grunty and noisy but she usually stays kind of asleep and then is completely out again by the time she is done eating usually 10 minutes later) After 10 minutes I moved her over to righty and all was well in boobland. After the 5am feeding I usually put her back to sleep in her crib instead of the co-sleeper so that is where she is now. Wonder how much longer she will sleep? Wonder if last night of 8 hours and the night before of 7 hours are a new trend? Wonder if I will sleep through 3am? hmmmm..... stay tuned I guess!

OMG!!! She was tired last night so I went ahead and put her to bed at about 8:30 and she was sound asleep. I assumed she would wake up around 12:30 or 1 am but she slept until 3:30am!! That's 7 hours of straight sleep!!!! OMG! Craziness. Now if only I had gone to sleep at 8:30 with her.... hhmmmm...

First off, here is Kacey's Week 8 picture!! She wasn't in the best mood so no smiles. :(


Here is a picture we took after a bath with CRAZY HAIR!!



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Yesterday I was feeding her and watching tv. She finished eating so I put her on my shoulder to burp her where she promptly fell asleep. My first thought was oh goody! I'll try to lay her down in the crib so I can get some house stuff done. I then checked myself and thought about what a silly thing I was about to do. How much longer will I have the intense pleasure of my baby girl sleeping on my shoulder? She was happy and content and so was I. So I put off the silly housework and sat there for the next hour while the most precious girl dreamed away in my arms. I can't think of a better way to spend my time :)

Want to try cloth diapering for free? Click this link to enter the drawing!
http://babycheapskate.blogspot.com/2008/07/giveaway-12-bumgenius-30-diapers.html

Today you went to Descanso Gardens with grandma Pat, your best friend Taline, Alex, Garo and Taline's grandma Gail! We had such a good time! You and Taline are becoming such good friends!


You are really starting to see things around you and get super excited about them. I have talked alot on your blog about your mobile but you also love your bouncy chair. Here you are just giggling away at the butterfly. When I took this picture you had been in there for at least 15 minutes!


I can't believe how much you have started talking in the last few days. You really have alot to say. Your cries are even changing. Instead of constant crying until you get what you want, you have started to just let out a random cry here and there. I think you are telling me you are bored. By the way, you are still sitting yin your bouncy chair as I am typing this and talking to the butterfly. Lots of agoo's and gaahhhh's. This morning you blew a raspberry at your daddy and this afternoon you did it twice for me! Also this morning you were in your crib talking to your mobile friends and a few times you actually screamed with delight. The first one was real loud and made me jump up. I found you smiling away and agooing. My favorite is an agoo that you kind of stretch out in such a way that sounds like iluvyou... so cute!

Today you went to the doctor and got your very first vaccine shot. You cried when the needle went in but almost immediately after the needle came out you stopped. I gave you a big smile and told you it was ok and you looked back at me with a big gummy smile!

You are definitely sleeping a lot less these days. It is getting harder to get you to nap! You may have wondered why you were in the bouncy chair for so long but hey! It's hard for me to come up with stuff to do with you. I figure as long as you are happy and smiling, you are fine where you are. Don't worry, I am still doing tummy time, floor gym time and walking around outside with you in the Baby B.jorn. We are having a great time together! I love you so much!!!

Love,
Mommy

Just in case you can't get enough of these...

Kacey is in her crib supposedly napping. We got back from lunch with my Uncle Tom and friend Sean (yummy Chi.potle!!) and when we got home she was very tired, hungry and had a very dirty diaper. I fed her first, knowing the diaper would get much dirtier.. oh the things you learn after being a mom for 7 weeks... She did add to the mess in the diaper so I changed her next. She seemed wide awake so I put her in the baby bjorn and we did some house stuff and then walked around the yard looking at the pine tree and sky. She was very happy in the bjorn for about 30 minutes and then really started to yawn so I put her in the crib and turned on the mobile. OH JOY OF JOYS! Her birdy friend was right there waiting to fly around in circles for her. She was soooo excited that she forgot she was yawning. Well she was happy so I left her in there, turned on the vibrating mattress (very jealous, wish I had a full size one!)and wrapped her in a blanket. This usually knocks her out in one or two mobile twistings. After the mobile stopped I went back over to give it another twisting. What I found shows how brilliant our child is. She had craned her neck in such a way as to be able to see the birdy on the mobile AND the bird picture on her crib bumper. She was looking at one and then looking at the other. Clearly she was making the connection that they were alike! A genius! We have a genius for a baby!!! Who needs Baby E.instein when you have birdies????

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Yesterday Kacey was crying when it was time for our walk. She had been fed and diapered so we knew she was just tired. Rather than put her in the car seat in the house, my mom decided to carry her outside while I set up the stroller and put the car seat in it. After we got out there, I suggested we try and put Kacey in the stroller with out the car seat. It was made with a bassinet feature for infants and the way we had it to accommodate the car seat had the bassinet down but slightly elevated. So we put her in and let her look around. I attached a mobile to the shade and off we went. She was all smiles and the crying was forgotten. Normally she falls asleep by the time we get to about 1 mile. Last night we hit one mile and she was wide awake. I bent over her and gave her a smile and she returned it. She was sooo happy and loving this new view! She ended up staying awake the ENTIRE walk!! The walk takes us an hour and she loved every minute of it! It was so much fun to watch her watching the world. She watched the mobile quite a bit too as it bounced around. This makes her a big girl though... oh my! I'll still use the car seat when we go to the farmers market or a mall or something though.

Here she is and on her own!! Big girl!!!



with grandma at the end of our walk....



and with me....



Now you would think that after all that excitement she would pass out in the house... oh but you would be wrong! She proceeded to smile and coo for another hour or so. Here is one of her biggest smiles.



Daddy got home and gave her a bath and grandma got to watch! By the end of the bath was meltdown time, Kacey had finally had enough. :)

• February 20, 2005 - Married the most wonderful husband ever. Agreed to wait one year before TTC.
• February 2006 - Stopped BCP but still "prevented" pg. (Ha ha! I laugh at this now!)
• March 2006 - Prevented pg as we did not want a Christmas baby... how silly that sounds now!
• June 2006 - Started Charting my cycles to make sure I was ovulating (which I was)
• August 2006 - Started using CBEFM Fertility Monitor to make sure we were "timing it right"
• November 2006 - Turned 34 years old......
• December 2006 - First visit with RE due to my age (34) and 9 months of no BFP
• January 2007 - DH has SA (SuperSperm!!), I have HSG (All Clear!) and BW. BW determines dx of high FSH (10.1). RE Decides to be aggressive and do Injectibles + IUI
• February 2007 - IUI #1 with injectibles (Bravelle 150 iu/day), trigger shot and progesterone = BFN
• March 2007 - IUI #2 with injectibles (Bravelle 225 iu/day), trigger shot and progesterone = BFN
• April 2007 - Rest cycle due to cysts. No charting, CBEFM, just acupuncture and good old fashioned sex! Also went to first Adoption Info Session.
• May 2007 - IUI #3 with injectibles (Bravelle 225 iu/day), trigger shot and progesterone = BFN
• May/June 2007 - Rest cycle #2 due to cysts.
• June 2007 - IUI #4 with injectibles (Bravelle 225 iu/day), trigger shot and progesterone = BFN
• August 2007 - IVF #1, (Bravelle 450 iu/ and Menopur 150 iu/day)

• 7/13 - 8/5 - BCP's (hopefully I will never have another one cross my lips again)
• 7/31 - 8/18 - Lupron, hot flashes and all sorts of menopausal hell
• 8/9 - Estradiol = 33 YAY!
• 8/10 - 8/20 Bravelle and Menopur
• 8/13 - SHG - All clear! Mock Transfer - Went perfect!
• 8/14 - Day 5 of stims - Estradiol = 103 :( not good, they increase my Menopur and Bravelle
• 8/16 - Day 7 of stims - Estradiol = 310 :( BOO, they increase my Bravelle again....
• 8/18 - Day 9 of stims Estradiol = 1055 YAY!
• 8/20 - Day 11 of stims Estradiol = 2177 Double YAY!
• 8/22 - ER - 9 eggs retrieved - 5 fertilized!!!
• 8/25 - ET ( 1 perfect 8 cell, 1 "B" 8 cell and 1 5 cell)
• 9/5 - Beta test = 18, very low BFP
• 9/7 - BFP confirmed with a 71.9 beta!!!!
• 9/10 - Beta is 323!!!
• 9/14 - Beta is 2147!
• 9/20 - First u/s, saw Yolk sac and fetal pole
• 9/26 - 2nd u/s , saw heartbeat!!!!
• 10/3 - 3rd u/s, saw and heard heartbeat
• 10/15 - 4th u/s, saw Twiggy wiggle!
• 10/16 - Very last PIO shot! YAY!
• 10/19 - last day of Estradiol, Baby Asprin and Progesterone Supps
• 10/20 - Finally a normal pregnant lady with no extra drugs!

Here is Kacey's 7 week old pic from yesterday. I even got her to smile. If she looks a lot bigger, well that is because she is. She weighed in at 11 pounds even today!!! What is happening to my baby?!?!?


After our breastfeeding support group, Kacey and I had lunch with Stacie and Ella!!! Kacey had met Stacie but not Ella, I can't believe how much she has grown. Ella turned 1 last month and is walking now and has 8 teeth! She even ate corn on the cob last night. Amazing, I remember her being born, it seems like last week. WOW.

On Monday night we decided to start a nighttime routine. It's not set in stone but I wanted to get something going so that when Kacey does get into a daylong routine, we have something at night already in place. Sleep is important to me and I want to make sure we are able to get it regularly at some point!

So both Monday night and last night, Jamie gave Kacey a bath, then tried to read her a book:



(she was having none of that! Screaming ensued and the book was put down both nights halfway through. If you are familiar with baby board books you know they aren't very long so half way is like a few seconds into it!) We then turned off the lights and I held her and bounced her lightly while singing softly into her ear. Both nights I could feel her nodding off in my arms and in less than 5 minutes she was laid out in her co-sleeper snoozing away. Both nights I also went to sleep with her which was good. She would try to wake up a bit and I would just put my hand on her chest and shhh her a bit and back to sleep she would go. Monday we did this around 9-9:30 and last night it was around 9:30-10. I count both nights as successes!
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Yesterday I was very pleased with Kacey's outfit so here it is, just have to share! Notice the cute little bear shoes!

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After our New mommies group, Alex and Taline came over. Both girls were a bit sleepy so we put them both in the crib to watch the mobile. I am pleased to say that Taline was as taken with it as Kacey!


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Finally here is a silly little video of mommy trying to get Kacey to smile on video. She was smiling a ton and I have some pics of her with big smiles in the Week 7 pics but when I tried to video... well see for yourself who looks (or sounds) sillier.

Hi Gwynn,

You left a comment last week and it seems you live around here! Please come to the breastfeeding support group at VHH at 10am on Thursdays or the New moms group at VHH at 9:30am on Tuesdays. I would love to meet you since we have so much in common! Hope to see you soon!

I am assuming that is what Kacey is thinking when she is staring in awe and wonder at the ceiling fan. I understand her love of her mobile. It goes around and around and has two red birds and two yellow giraffes. She follows the birds with her eyes and looks a touch sad when they go out of sight. She picks them up again as they come around and smiles real big and "aaaahhhhs". Then despair as it goes away only to be replaced almost immediately by the other bird coming into view. She can do this for 20 minutes on average and will put herself to sleep most of the time (aren't we LUCKY!!!)

This morning I had her on my thighs with my knees up and I was sitting sideways so I could read blogs whil she stared at the ceiling fan. She stared at it and smiled and "aaahhhhed" to herself for about 20 minutes. No red birds though so what in the world was so fascinating? If only she could really talk and tell me.

Right now she is in her crib sleeping. I can hear her wake up on occasion because she grunts a little bit and then you hear "slurp, slurp, slurp" and I know she has found her hand. She'll chew on the hand for a minute or two and put herself back to sleep. Again, aren't we LUCKY!!! If she does actually start to cry, you just wait for 30 seconds. If it goes longer than that then she really is awake and needs her diaper changed, to eat, or just to get our of the crib. But sometimes she just cries for a couple seconds, then slurps and is back to sleep. Gotta love that hand.

**Side note, computer is still in the nursery which makes letting her nap and not feeling guilty for being on the computer very handy. Also, the hand is working great since we never started using a pacifier. I wasn't 100% against them, I think some babies need them but I wanted to wait and see if she really "needed" it. Turns out she doesn't so instead of weaning her from a paci, we will have to tie her hand behind her back. haha! just kidding!

This time it wasn't Kacey, it was me. On Saturday I bought a couple storage bins and put my Snoo.gle and the rest of my maternity clothes in one (YAY!!! no more maternity clothes!) and the other one was for Kacey's clothes as she grows out of them. So I went to her closet and pulled out the newborn stuff and took it to the coffee table where I proceeded to fold it all very nicely. I had a little memory for each piece, especially the one that says "I love daddy." I was looking at them and getting very sad. I called Jamie over and asked him to look. He said something along the lines of "oh yeah, she's growing up" and I just lost it. Started bawling like a baby. Poor Jamie didn't realize what was wrong. I told him I didn't want her to grow up and that she won't wear the "I love daddy" onesie again and her little nighttime shirts.... oh it was all so sad! There was also a little part of me thinking that no one would wear those again so why save them... but more I was just mourning my little newborn growing up. She's only 6 weeks! Jamie wondered if I was this upset at six weeks how would I feel when it was time to buy her a car? I guess I just need her to slow down the growing a little bit and I need to keep remembering to enjoy every single day, every moment the best I can. It. goes. so. fast.

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So why the pic of my feet? Because they are freshly pedicured!!! Woo-hoo!!! Saturday morning Kacey drank another ounce from a bottle (that's the third time) she was awake this time too. Jamie said he tried for about 10-15 minutes with her crying and refusing and him calming her down. Finally she started drinking and once she started she wouldn't stop. A few hours later, after feeding her I ran out to a local salon and got the toes done. It felt wonderful! I was gone about 1.5 hours and came back to a screaming Kacey. Jamie said she had been going at it for about 30 minutes. He tried another bottle but she was refusing. I went to feed her and she latched on like she was starving. So we still have some work to do with the bottles. We'll be trying different nipples and bottles thanks to your suggestions and thanks to Amelia who even sent us some! Gotta love the generosity of strangers in the blogosphere! Thank you again for all your ideas. We may even try using a cup if all else fails.

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For my mom's, my grandma's and my birthday, we get together and go clothes shopping and have lunch. We have been doing this since I was a little girl. Well today we went for grandma's birthday (which is Wednesday!) and Kacey got to join us for the first time! The next birthday will be mine in November and she will be almost 6 months old, I'm sure that trip will be a bit more interesting :) She was very good today. I tried her out in the B.aby Bj.orn (it was given to us by a woman in one of my support groups. Her daughter grew out of it, gotta love moms passing stuff on!) Kacey really loved it! She was super tired but refused to fall asleep, just kept looking around all over. Grandma got some nice things and we had a wonderful lunch! YAY for ladies day out!

Weekly pictures of Kacey (all the Kod.ak Gallery links) are now going to be over to the right rather than in individual posts. This way they are all in one place and I can remember what ones I have shared.

11:10 pm on Friday night and I am getting a chance to post Kacey's 6 week picture. The house is quiet as Jamie and Kacey and Orangie are all asleep. I should be in bed too but I just want to get some stuff done! So here is her picture which I did take on time!



Today Kacey and I met up with Gen and Emily at the mall. Kacey has a talent just like Emily, they can both fit their fist in their mouth!



I did suck it up and bought some shorts and pants in a size bigger than pre-pregnancy. It wasn't that bad. At lunch I complained to Gen and Emily about the need to buy a size 8 and they both laughed at me and said that's what they wear! Well if they do and they look great then I can only take that as a compliment. So I bought stuff and I was happy to do it! YAY! No more maternity pants!

Here is a great pic of Gen with Kacey in the sling. She is wearing her sitting up which seems to be the way Kacey really likes it now. I think we are done with the cradle hold. With this way, you still have to support her head but she seems much happier.

On Sunday we went to the local farmer's market. It always has an arts and crafts area as well. So we are walking through and I see a new vendor that is selling these very frilly ballerina type onesies, little barrettes and stuff. I saw a little clip barrette that I thought would work on Kacey so I tried it on her. The lady that made the stuff said she looked real cute and asked if she could put a headband on her and take her picture. If i let her and signed a release so she could use the pic on her website, she would give me the headband for free. Sure!! I love free!! So she puts on the adorable velvety headband with a big pink flower. Kacey looked like a 20's flapper :) After she was done I asked how much the onesies were and she said $35. They were quite cute with a big rhinestone heart on the front and ruffles sewn onto the butt (sounds awful by my description but very cute!) she then offered to give me one if I let her take Kacey's picture in it! Woo hoo! More free! I have learned that I am ok with pimping out my daughter for free onesies and headbands! So we are standing there watching them take her picture and a small group of people gather around as this is becoming a mini production. Jamie later said he was a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing but only because it was so odd!! I on the other hand loved it and Jamie now says I am a stage mom in the making. Here is the site she will be on, this pic is not Kacey but it shows the cute little ruffle butt! Rachel on the Flower

Here is Kacey with the little headband and the front of the onesie.



Too darn cute!!! Should we get her an agent now?

We had some other firsts over the weekend. We went to a concert in the park in Pasadena. It's at this cool little outdoor amphitheater and it is free! It was jazz night and Kacey slept through the half hour that we were there. Too bad she slept but glad she didn't cry the whole time.

Yesterday Kacey went to the movies! The Paseo on Colorado has mommy and me movies every Monday at 11am. This week it was Hancock and I really wanted to see it. So glad we did, it was pretty good! The theatre sets up a changing table and has the lights up a touch. Everyone there has a toddler or younger so no one minds if baby cries. We went with Alex and Taline and LaRee and Londyn. So much fun! Next week is Meet Dave... gonna skip that one.

Regarding the bottlefeeding. Thank you sooooo much to everyone for your ideas and support. We will definitely be trying some different nipples/bottles and keep plugging away. Jamie was able to feed her one ounce this morning. She was pretty much asleep and he put it all the way in her mouth. She immediately just drank it. So I guess the trick is to do it when she is asleep :) Well maybe the other nipples will help with feeding her when she is awake! I want my pedicure darnit!

Jamie is still trying very hard with the bottle. He spends about 15-20 minutes with Kacey and she is still having none of it. He starts out when she is calm and not starving but is starting to indicate she is getting a bit hungry. Pretty much as soon as he puts the bottle in her mouth she starts screaming. This morning went a bit better. He actually got her to keep the bottle in or around her mouth for about 5 minutes before she started to scream. She didn't really drink any just played with the nip.ple. He is thinking that maybe the milk got cold after 5 minutes and that is when it upset her.

So I am looking for advice here. It's been over a week. We start out with a warm bottle but it is probably cold in 5 minutes, should we rewarm it every 5 minutes? This wouldn't be an issue if she just ate it, the one time she did it was all gone in about 2 minutes since we are just doing 1 ounce. I also make sure I am well out of sight. He has tried different positions, he sings to her and calms her down. When she really starts screaming he sits her up, gets her calm and then tries again.

So any ideas?

Right now you are doing this....



You have looked at your mobile in the past and followed it a little bit with your eyes but this is the first time I have seen you really move your head to follow it. When I first laid you in the crib you saw the mobile and smiled real big! When I turned it on I swear you almost giggled! I called your daddy in to watch and we got the camera. Too stinkin cute!

I love all of you right now but I especially love your little hands. From the tip of your middle to your wrist, is the length of the tip of my pinky to the knuckle on my hand. I love the way your free hand sits on my chest when you are eating or it holds the other hand almost like a little prayer. I love when your hands shoot up in the air like you are on a roller coaster when you get a bit startled in your sleep and when you shove it into your mouth to chew on. I especially love when your hand holds mine.

I also love your soft little feet. Everything else on you is very much like your daddy but I think you got my feet. Your second toe is a touch longer than your big toe and that is what mine is like! The bottom of your feet are the softest part on you and soooo very ticklish. I like to rub your feet a little bit when you are falling asleep while eating, this usually wakes you up.

You are just so precious sweetheart and I love you so very much! Thank you for coming into our lives, you have brought us so much joy!

Love,
Mommy

Last night Kacey had her first meltdown. She was in a great mood and we were doing some tummy time. She even did her first airplane! (Where her head is up and her legs are up) She was all smiles. Jamie came home and she showed him her airplane and then started to fuss. She was getting tired and had been on the floor for a bit too long. He picked her up and she just kept going downhill. It led to all out screaming. He did such a great job with her but nothing he did would calm her down. I had recently fed and diapered her so we figured she was just really tired. After about 20 minutes I went ahead and took her and tried feeding her. She kept screaming, would eat for 30 seconds and them scream some more. Finally I just put her on my shoulder and shhhhshed her and she either just wore out or gave up. I got her calmed down and tried feeding her again which was finally successful. Both Jamie and I kept calm the whole time and thanked our lucky stars that this was not a daily occurrence.

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In bottlefeeding/pumping news... On Wednesday night Jamie went to try with the bottle again. I got it nice and warm and went into the kitchen. I puttered for a couple minutes and then opened the dishwasher to empty it. It had seriously been about 3-4 minutes since I gave Jamie the bottle and he tells me she is done! WTF? She finished the whole thing! I don't know if she was half asleep and didn't realize what it was or if it being really warmed up or just dumb luck but she did it! Jamie was soo happy and really felt good about it. He said it was just such a wonderful thing to be able to feed her. :) He tried again the next morning and she would have none of it. I guess timing does help. I am sure you can guess about last night. We barely tried due to the meltdown. So let's see what happens this weekend. I am really hoping for that pedicure next weekend!

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Time for you to be impressed! I actually took Kacey's 5 week old picture on Wednesday! It is taking me 2 days to post it but I just can't be perfect. :) Here she is giving a little wave. Note the adorable shoes she has on!



Here is another pic of the shoe and a big smile!



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Speaking of smiling... we have been trying to get her smiling on video and we finally did it! Check out this video :) This is especially for the Jamie's parents since they are in Florida.



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Guess who was 10 pounds and 1 ounce as of yesterday?????

Sitting here readimg blogs and typing one handed. Little Miss has been awake since 12:45ish. Daddy changed her diaper and went to bed. I fed her and put her back to bed where she promtly woke up. She was wide awake and full of smiles. How could i resist. After a bit she let out a big poop. knowing she doesn't go just once, I brought her in here to read blogs while we wait for some more. She is sitting on my lap staring all around and has successfully pooped some more. I'll finish typing then I think we can be pretty safe in changing her diaper again. So there is my quick little update for posterity! More to come in the daylight hours when I have hands again.

Well it turns out I've got it! I tried pumping for the first time on Sunday. I had read somewhere to expect an ounce or so the first few times you try pumping and to pump for about 15 minutes. HAHA to that! In less than 5 minutes I had over 5 ounces total. My poor girls were traumatized so I went ahead and stopped. I was so surprised that I had so much that I dumped it all into one bottle and gave it to Jamie. When Kacey was hungry, Jamie tried to feed her. He tried and he tried and he tried some more. I hid out in the hallway so she wouldn't see or smell me and held back tears. She kept screaming and choking... ugh it was awful. Here is a pic of them at one point where she was resting in between screams.



After about 20 minutes Jamie gave up and I went ahead and nursed her. It was a tough time for all of us.I am not sure why it hurt me so badly. Jamie asked if I was jealous? I think maybe so. So far she has been 100% dependent on me and maybe I am just not ready to give that up. It was also very hard to hear her cry. We pretty much don't let her cry for longer than a minute and that is only when we just can't get to her fast enough. So 20 minutes of her crying and choking just about did me in. We ended up throwing away all the milk.

Today in our mommy support group I asked about the experience and the leader said that we did it right we just need to keep trying. She suggested we try to give her a bottle every day and try for 15-20 minutes. After a few days she should be ok with it as long as we are consistent. I asked about a different bottle and she said that as long as it is just dripping, which it is, then it is not too fast. She said Kacey is choking because it is just different and she is angry. Jamie should sit her up and tell her it is ok, let her rest and then try again. Key is for him to remain very calm and reassuring and just keep trying.

So I pumped again today and in 5 minutes had 4 ounces in a freezer bag and 1 ounce in a bottle ready for Jamie to try tonight. Wish us luck!

In case you are wondering why we are going through all this trouble..

• #1 reason is that I desperately need a pedicure. To get a pedicure I need about 90 minutes away from home and I will not take her to a nail place. She eats so randomly throughout the day that I would not be able to count on her sleeping the whole time I am gone.
  
• #2 reason is that Jamie wants to experience feeding her and I can't blame him.I thoroughly enjoy it so he should be able to as well.
• #3 reason is that I have read the prime time to introduce a bottle is between 4-6 weeks. Baby is still a bit willing to put anything in their mouth but it's late enough that breastfeeding is firmly established.

We also started the cloth diapering over the weekend and that is going VERY well. Kacey cries as soon as she is wet, she did with the disposables too. But now she smiles real big when you take off the diaper and seems to love the way a clean diaper feels. She didn't really seem to notice much while you put a disposable on before. Now her mood definitely changes! The covers are also super cute. I foresee buying cloth diapers and covers as a new addiction for me. Here is little miss in her high fashion leopard print cover!



and here is a a day and a half of diapers hanging on the line! Looks like a lot but imagine the equivalent in a landfill....



I received a comment from anonymous asking:
Can you post an entry talking about your decision to use them and how it's been thus far? I know it's environmentally friendly, but it seems like a hassle and a huge, nasty mess. Please enlighten me because I know it's kinder to our environment. I just can't figure out how it all works, where you dispose of the "mess" and how you clean the diapers, yet keep everything else in your house sanitary.

So here is my response:

I decided to use them for a few reasons:

• they are more expensive in the very beginning but in the long run MUCH cheaper assuming you wash them yourself.
• Disposables are filled with chemicals and I did not want Kacey's bare little bottom sitting in chemicals for the next 2 years. (It has been suggested that the chemicals are reducing male fertility.. wonder what it's doing to the girls?)
• We used disposables for the first month and the amount of trash that generated was very sad. When I threw out the last batch worth I was so glad to know it was out last batch.
• We are also using cloth wipes with water or simple solution (cheap little G.erber washcloths) as the disposable wipes are full of chemicals and bleach.

So far it has been really great. We have a wet bag set up inside the Dia.per Ch.amp and it holds the diapers until I am ready to wash them (every day and a half now but it will be every 2-3 days as I get more diapers and she needs to be changed less often) I then do a cold rinse cycle and 2 hot full cycles and hang them to dry. In the sun they are dry pretty quickly. I then throw them in the dryer for 5 minutes to make them soft. I also keep a small wet bag in my diaper bag for when we are out, that has been no problem, I just dump the diapers into the main bag when I get home. As I said, Kacey also seems to really like them too and the cute covers are a bonus!

Not a hassle at all, in a way easier. I don't have to worry about running out and buying more at the store. No need to cut coupons or figure out where they are cheaper.

Not any messier than the disposables, also less messy in a way. You know when you are taking off a diaper and you kind of use it to wipe off baby's bum as you are taking it off so there is less to get off with the wipe? Well with the cloth you have more "cloth" to wipe with so I use less wipes. Also a lot less poop sticks to her now, not sure why that is though... Since I am exclusively breastfeeding, the entire diaper can go straight into the washer and the poop just washes away. (I only wash the diapers in the load, clothes are seperate) If you are formula feeding or baby is eating solids then you need to dump the poop in the toilet and do a rinse. If this grosses you out, you can also buy liners that sit in the diaper and the poop ends up on that. I know someone out there is thinking "ewwww you put poop in the washer!" But think about it. Baby gets poop and vomit and gawd knows what else on their clothes and you put those in the washer. That is what a washer is for, to wash away the dirty stuff.

I hope this answers your questions! I am still learning and will continue to post about our adventures in cloth diapering as we go along.

If you have any interest then I suggest going to jilliansdrawers to do a trial. I did this with the newborn size and just ordered it for the small size. You pay about $100 and get 6 different kinds of cloth diapers to try out. If you like them all you keep them, or you can send back what you don't like and only pay for what you kept. If you send it all back then you get all your money back less $10 and shipping. It's a great way to try out cloth diapering. The site also has tons of info on how to use them, clean them, etc.