Kacey is now 3 months old!!! She weighed in at 13 pounds and 5.5 ounces. She was very happy to get her picture taken too!



While we were at group Kacey did some tummy time, see how high she can hold her head now!!!


We then came home and read a book (Thanks Dashell for the book!!) Kacey was even helping me turn the pages!



We then played with the new tent that Grandma Marie gave Kacey. This is the toy one and there is a bigger one for Kacey to fit in. They both came with a sleeping bag too! Kacey really liked seeing her puppy dog in the sleeping bag. Here's a pic of the tent and then a video of Kacey playing with it for Grandma Marie to see.





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I think Kacey is in another growth spurt. On Tuesday night she fell asleep at 5pm and I let her sleep. I thought it could be a nap but no, she stayed asleep until about 1:30. I fed her and she went back to sleep. I thought great! Maybe 5 will be a new bedtime.... that is until she woke up again at 2:30, then 3:30, then 5am and then 5:45. That is the last time she goes to bed at 5pm!!! Last night she did the opposite and refused to go to sleep until 9pm. I had tried feeding her, rocking her, walking with her in the dark and singing, nothing worked. Finally Jamie came home around 8 and was pretty excited that he got to see her so I let her be up. Around 9pm she started to get cranky and whiny so I tried feeding her again and she was asleep within 5 minutes. She did wake up 2 times though, whereas she normally wakes up once so I am chalking up the 2 nights to growth spurt. Hopefully tonight will go well. We are planning on waking up around 5am as we want to leave by 6am. Our flight is out of LAX at 10:40 and we want to give plenty of time for driving and security especially with the holiday weekend. We'll be gone until Tuesday morning so wish us luck!!! Hope everyone has a wonderful long weekend!!
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BTW: I weighed myself this morning and was .6 LESS than my pre-preg weight. So I tried on the rest of my pants and they fit!!! YAY! I am officially back into my normal clothes, it only took 3 months.

One year ago today you were a clump of cells and we transferred you into me. You became a part of me and my body actually helped you to thrive. One year and 3 days later you were born.



Today I was feeding you and you stopped eating, looked at me with my nipple still in your mouth and smiled. The smile turned into a little giggle and then you went back to eating. I never could have imagined 9 months and 3 days ago that this scene would actually happen. You are such an amazing blessing in my life and I know your daddy feels exactly the same way.

As I write this my eyes are filled with tears. A year ago, they were tears of fear that you wouldn't stick, now they are just tears of joy and the best possible tears. Thank you for sticking, thank you for growing and thriving, thank you for looking up at me and smiling. I love you so very much.

Love,
Mommy

Kacey had a very eventful weekend. On Friday we met up with a bunch of mommys and babies from our New Mothers Support Group at Descanso Gardens. It was a great turnout and I hope we get to do it again. The gardens are just so perfect for moms and strollers. Unfortunately the bar on the stroller covers Kacey's face :( Oh well, it's a great shot of all the mommys and babies together.



On Saturday morning we went to the baby reunion from our Bradley class. It sure was fun to see all the babies. Out of 9 people in our class only 2 were able to give birth without drugs. :( Our teacher said it was her highest rate of interventions in 26 years of teaching. That is sad but I sure felt better. Is it wrong that I was glad that I wasn't the only one that wasn't able to stick to their birth plan? The main thing that was most important was that everyone had healthy babies. Here they all are! 2 were not able to make it though. Notice how all three girls are wearing green :)



Here we are with Kathy, the Bradley instructor.



We then rushed home and finished getting ready for the BBQClick here to see all the pics!! Jamie had started the day at 7am by getting up to smoke a whole mess of pork. I had my trusty list and we were busy all day working our way through it. By 5pm we were pretty much ready and the guests started arriving. We figured out that we had about 78 people show up! WOW! It was a great turnout and we had a wonderful time. I loved seeing an actual food line form that was about 10 people long for quite a while.



Jamie's pulled pork was worth the all day effort and everyone seemed to love it. He also BBQ'd some tri-tip and that went so well that I never even saw it! Kacey and I made the rounds and I am pretty sure we at least said hi to everyone but as with this sort of thing, you never feel like you really got to visit with anyone. I hope noone expects too much out of the hosts. It's just so hard! The evening was completely over at about 12:30 when the last guests left. I was asleep by 1am but woke up at 6:30. So here I am typing this on 5.5 hours sleep. I'm a bit tired but it was all worth it! Can't wait til next year!

Oh... I haven't mentioned how Kacey did? Hmmm... funny you should mention that. Well we had a great plan, unfortunately her obeying skills aren't quite up to par so she didn't pay attention to my plan. The plan was to keep her fed and napping as much as possible during the day so she would be in a good mood for the party. It all went according to plan until 4:30. See the BBQ was set to start at 5, so I tried to give her a last feeding at 4:30 and she would have none of it. She kept spitting it out so I gave up. Well wouldn't you know it but she decided she was starving at 5pm. So there I was hiding out in the nursery feeding her as the guests were arriving. OK, she got her way but surely she would adhere to my plan the rest of the night and be an angel and let everyone hold her while mommy drank wine and mingled. Hmm.. can you guess what's next? Right around 6pm I heard a cry. There were 4 other babies but I knew that high pitched waaaaaaaa was not them, it was my party girl and she was going to cry if she wanted to. The crying became hysterics so I quickly sought her out and rescued the person holding her. She would not calm down so I again retreated to the nursery and spent 5 solid minutes shhhhhing and singing softly in her ear. The tears slowed down and finally stopped. One or two people came in and she gave them smiles and finally relaxed. I got my sling and wore her for the next hour. She would give a pathetic wimper every now and then but if I moved around she stayed pretty calm.

Around 8 I took her to our room and laid down to feed her. She fell asleep pretty quickly and I put her in the co-sleeper. I watched her sleep for a few minutes and then left the room. About 15 minutes later she was awake. My mom, Jamie and I took turns carrying her around and we all tried putting her down again later. Finally around 10pm I tried feeding her again and laying down with her and she finally konked out. I guess she really just wanted to be a big girl and party.

This picture really sums up her mood for the party:



Looking forward to next year's bash when she should be walking and refusing to be picked up by anyone and wanting to just do her own thing. We may think this year was a breeze!

OK, we are done. I pumped on Saturday and got 4 1 ounce bottles ready for Jamie to use. He tried a fresh one on Saturday morning and gave up after a bit. This morning I let him know I would be throwing out the other 3 bottles as they were too old to use now and he was ok with it. With his working hours he doesn't get home in the evenings until after Kacey is in bed so his only time with her during the week is in the mornings. He just doesn't want to spend that time with her screaming and crying as he tries to give her a bottle. I definitely cannot blame him. We can't expect her to get used to a bottle with only trying on the weekends so that is it. We are done. Finis!

Video of Kacey laughing!


Video of Kacey talking to the ceiling fan... yes, the ceiling fan.



Video of Kacey playing AIRPLANE! with mommy.

Kacey and I stopped by work today to pick up a friend for lunch. We were waiting in the car in front of the building for him and I just watched the people coming out. I saw Herman with his gym bag and Nan leaving with some people I don't know. I felt a little pang. It was strange but it was the very first time I missed work a little bit. What if they don't have a position for me in a year? I would be very sad to not work for that company again. It was a great company and a great experience. (Hey, who else would have sent me to live in London for 16 months and paid all my bills?) Do people there miss me? I know my friends do but anyone else? Does anyone pick up their phone to call me to see if I can answer a question or solve a problem? Does anyone send me an email detailing a new project and get a kickback saying my account no longer exists? Are there unanswered voice mails sitting in my mailbox on my phone? Does my little mail cubby still have my name on it? And my cube... oh my beautiful 15th floor, corner cube with the view of the mountains..... how long before it is taken over by someone else?

I know I will never, ever regret resigning but missing it? That is a surprise I did not expect.

So we tried different nipples, different bottles, different times of day, different positions, Kacey in different modes of sleepiness/wakefulness and different moods, nothing has worked. We took a few weeks off and just tried again this week, still not working. I am ready to give up and call it a day. We tried, we tried hard and with the decision of me not going back to work, well there just isn't a pressing need. Jamie still wants to try to feed her though so I am definitely willing to keep pumping as long as he wants to try the bottle.

A while back an anonymous commenter had said that she never ended up giving a bottle and it worked out fine. If you did not end up giving a bottle will you please tell me about it? Did you ever give a sippy cup? If so, when? Did you go straight to a regular cup? If so, when? Thank you!!!

I did it! I remembered to take Kacey's 11 week picture one her 11 week birthday! YAY me!



Here is a pic of her sitting all by herself in her glider (cute that she happens to have on great-grandpa's outfit in the chair that great-grandma and great-grandpa gave us!)



This evening my mom and I were playing airplane with Kacey and she was really liking it. Jamie got home and we showed him how. Apparently Kacey likes airplaning with daddy more than with mommy or grandma as she was laughing!!! I didn't get the camera out fast enough but here are a couple pics and a little video with her giggling a bit and us trying to get her to laugh again.

Over the weekend we went to Taline's BBQ. Kacey wanted a picture with Taline so we propped them up next to each other and this is what we got.



Kacey then decided that her hair wasn't just right and started screaming for hair and makeup... alas, they never showed. Taline tried very, very hard to calm Kacey down.



Here is a pic of the group that went to lunch after our new mommy support group today!



A couple of videos.... first up, Kacey in happier times. She fell in love with this toy that was hanging above Taline's changing table. Yes, I did come home and order one.. should be here by Friday!



Finally for those that like to see a baby cry... here is Kacey in all her glory. Yes, that is me laughing in the background. I am a terrible mother.

I get comments every now and then asking me about CD's, why I do them and how I do them. I figured I would write one post and then just link people to it. Please do feel free to email me with questions if you have any! I would love to encourage people to CD as it is much easier than you think! nickoletta100 at hotmail dot com

WHY??
If you use disposables, have you ever gone to change baby's diaper and seen little plastic looking balls on baby's bum? This happens when the diaper is wet for a while. The chemicals come to the surface and get on baby's skin. This is my #1 reason for CDing. I don't want Kacey's skin sitting in chemicals for the next 1.5 to 2 years. Disposables haven't been around forever so it's not exactly known what effect the chemicals can have but I am thinking they won't contribute to her IQ in any way. There have been studies done that have connected the chemicals in disposables to reduced sperm count in boys. As you know, I have fertility issues so this is reason alone to CD.

Trash - We used disposables for the first month and the amount of trash that generated made me ill to look at. When I took the last bag of dirty diapers out of the Dia.per Ch.amp I was so happy to know we were done.

Cheap - As of today, we have spent about $150 on CD's and what we need to CD. If we had continued to buy disposables, we would have spent at least that but most likely more by now. We have small size on some of the pocket diapers (I'll explain what those are later) so we will buy medium at some point. I expect to spend another $100 probably and that will be about all. This sure helps when you are trying to budget to be a Stay at Home Mom!

Diaper Rash - CD's generally mean less diaper rash (not for everyone though) Baby "feels" the wetness so you change diapers more often keeping them cleaner. We also use cloth wipes, eliminating the chemicals on disposable wipes that can actually cause a reaction on sensitive skin.

Cute and adorable - Have you seen a CD butt? So cute!!! You can also really get into covers and such and go crazy. Kacey even has a leopard print one! Much more style than the same old Di.sney disposables everybody else has. Now this could be a negative though as you could spend a lot of money collecting covers and special diapers! I have heard of a diaper selling for $250!

Earlier potty training - Since baby can "feel" the wetness they generally don't like it. This is supposed to help potty train them earlier. I haven't tested this out yet but it does make sense.

Downsides - There are a few negatives that I have noticed. The CD's take up more room in my diaper bag. If I don't do a load of CD laundry every other day, we run out of diapers (but on the flip side, I don't have to cut coupons or lug mountains of diapers home from the store, I just wash them.) Her cute CD butt is bigger than a disposable butt so some outfits are too tight on her and she "grew" out of some outfits overnight when we switched from disposables to CD's. When I go to change her at a restaurant or something I have to carry her wetbag with dirty diapers in it.

OK, I think that is about it on the why's. Here are some great links if you want more info:

Real Diaper Association - Why cloth diaper?
Diaper Pin - The Diaper Drama
The Great Disposable Diaper Debate
National Geographic Green Guide

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HOW?

We waited until Kacey was 9 pounds (about a month old) so that she could fit into the small diapers. You can CD a newborn but since we were new to CDing we decided to wait.

We have built our "stash" to include the following:
25 chinese infant size prefolds (these cost about $2 each and we use them during the day)
10 indian regular size prefolds (we have not really started using these yet)
3 Snappis
2 Swaddlebees covers (these were recommended to me as best for newborn sizes)
2 Bumkins covers (so cute with the leopard print!)
1 Imse Vimse cover (this is Jamie's favorite as he says it is the easiest to get all the diaper covered with)
1 ProWrap cover (I keep this one in my diaper bag as an emergency cover)
2 FuzziBunz Pocket diapers
4 gumGenius 3.0 Pocket Diapers (these are Jamie and my favorite pockets)
30-40 or so cloth wipes (cheapie Gerber and Target washcloths)
1 small wetbag for my diaper bag
1 large wetbag for the diaper pail
pump filled with 1 cup water, 2 drops tea tree essential oil, 3 drops lavender essential oil (this is what we use to clean Kaceys bottom!)

We use the prefolds during the day. This was mainly to save money, I would love to use the bumGenius pockets all day but they cost $18 each. The prefolds (see pic) are used with the covers and a Snappi (see pic) and then a cover. I reuse the cover all day unless it gets poop on it. The pic below also shows the fold we use, it's called a bikini twist. Click here or here to read more about different diaper folds.





I keep all the wipes and solution next to the changing pad and the diaper pail next to that. I just got a Si.mple Huma.n trash can from Bed Bath and Be.yond as the Diaper Cha.mp does not work with CD's. I keep 4-5 prefolds, 1 cover, small wetbag, 5-8 wipes and a little 3 oz bottle of just water in my diaper bag.







The prefolds get wet, very wet. Kacey lets us know when she is wet and it can even wake her up. This is why we use pocket diapers at night. Pocket diapers have a PUL outer shell which keeps the wet inside and a flannel type inside that wicks the moisture away from baby's skin. Poop of course stays where it lands :) There is an opening between the PUL outer and the flannel inner which creates the "pocket". You stuff this with something absorbant. You can use a prefold diaper or a soaker insert. For overnight use we stuff with 2 inserts. This absorbs all of her pee and we can keep one pocket on her overnight without her waking up from feeling wet. Fortunately she does not poop overnight or we would have to change that.








Finally a word about washing. Every other day I dump the wet bag and all the diapers and wipes in the washer ands run them through a cold rinse. I do not remove the inserts from the pockets as they tend to come out on their own in the washer. I then do a hot wash using BioKleen detergent. I hang it all on the retractable clothesline outside. This saves energy and the sun bleaches out any poop stains. After they are dry I put them in the dryer for 10 minutes to "fluff" them up and make them soft.

Bottom line is that it is much easier than you think it is and totally worth it. Kacey has not had a rash and really likes getting her diaper changed. After the first time Jamie did it, he was sold and commented on how easy it was. I don't mind the washing and Kacey loves watching me hang the diapers. She likes being outside and seeing all the white I think. If I didn't have access to a washing machine I don't think I would CD though. Also, when we travel I will be using disposables.

I hope that helps and if it helps even one person decide to try to CD then it was worth typing all this out!!

You can try them for only $10 at Jillian's Drawers.

First here is Kaceys 10 week picture (and 2 days.. I suck.)



Second, I was helping my grandma clean out her cedar chest and we found a photo album full of pictures of ME!! Here are 3 that I thought were adorable... mememememememe!! The first one I have a Las Vegas shirt on. This is funny because I LOVE Vegas (love craps and blackjack) My mom took me when I was a baby and would just sit my on the Blackjack table and play. Too bad you can't do that anymore or you better believe Kacey would be there!!! The second one is just the cutest bathing suit I think I have ever seen and the third is my super little and looking absolutely nothing like my daughter, although I do have a cloth diaper on!



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I wore pre-pregnancy jeans today and they fit!!! Woo-hoo!!! Remember the size bigger pants and shorts I bought a couple weeks ago? Well they are getting loose and I have to wear a belt with them now. :)

First I have to post this picture because this is one of my favorite outfits so far (thanks Mandi!!!) and she smiled when I took her picture.



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Thanks for all your responses on the bumper issue. I did go ahead and buy the mesh, breathable bumper. It's certainly not as cute as the other one but it helps me feel better.
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In the past few days Kacey has really started reaching for things and touching things. I think she started with me. I noticed that when I was feeding her, she would sometimes grab onto my shirt. At first I thought it was a reflex type thing but now I really think it is on purpose. Sometimes I put a little blanket type thing over her and me when I am feeding her (my friend Nancy gave it to her, it's supposed to retain my scent so she can use it for comfort too when I am not around) she will grab onto that too and move her fingers around like she is really feeling it.

This morning after I changed her diaper, I was leaning down pretty close to her and talking to her. She reached up several times and touched my face.

She is constantly grabbing her own clothes and pulling on them or just holding them.

She started to bat at the hanging things on her floor gym and on the bouncy chair a few days/week ago but today she was sitting in the bouncy chair and would suck on her fist and then hit one of the toys on the bouncy chair. She kept doing this over and over for about 10 minutes. I called Jamie and told him and he told me to get the camera and tape her! Dummy me! Luckily she was still doing it so I was able to catch her on video.

It's official, I am now a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) YAY!!! Jamie and I really talked about it and took a good long look at our budget last weekend. We can definitely make it work for a year (barring anything terrible of course.) So I spoke to my boss and he was super supportive. I gave my official notice yesterday. I am just so very excited and so happy. Jamie is such a wonderful daddy and husband giving us this opportunity!! We are so blessed.

First, take a look at how cute Kacey looks in the outfit Great Grandpa gave her last Christmas! It took a little while but it fits!





Here is great-grandpa with the outfit at Christmastime. :)



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Jamie asked me out on a date this weekend! Last night we had my mom come over at 7:30. Kacey is doing really well with going down between 7 and 8 as long as we follow a routine. I put her jammies on and her nighttime diaper (a bumGenius 3.0 double stuffed!) and then I lay down with her and feed her. She falls asleep while eating and I quietly move her to the co-sleeper. Sometimes she wakes up but I can usually get her back to sleep by singing to her and waving my hand down her eyes to close them (this little trick works wonders!)

So it worked last night and by 7:45 we were out the door! We went to a new restaurant that serves Korean BBQ and I even ordered a glass of wine. When the glass came I made a toast and my eyes welled up with tears. I told Jamie I was just so happy! So happy that our life is perfect (knock on wood!) We have the most wonderful baby at home, with a fantastic (and free!) babysitter, I have the best husband anyone could ask for, I was on a date at a yummy restaurant and I had a lovely glass of wine in my hand. Who could ask for anything more. Jamie laughed at my eyes welling up but I think he thought it was sweet. I gotta tell you, I was soooooo happy to have that glass of wine! I think that is the biggest part of the misty eyes! It was yummy too and well worth the wait. The best part is that about halfway through dinner and 3/4 through the glass, I was definitely feeling the wine. Jamie definitely laughed at that!!!!

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Watch out for tomorrow's post, I have BIG news a brewin!! and I mean BIG!!!!

Jamie gets up with Kacey in the morning while I sleep in (aren't I the lucky lady!!) He let me know that he was able to play a mirroring game with her. He would blow a raspberry at her and she would do it back. He said they did this like 20 times!! I tried all day long and she would smile at me and sometimes stick out her tongue but never blow a raspberry.

I did get my own special thing later though, when my mom and I were on tonights walk, Kacey started to cry about halfway through. I keep emergency disposable diapers in the stroller so I went ahead and changed her, she was soaked. She gave me these huge smiles and then laughed. She actually laughed, a full on giggle! My mom asked if she had done that before and no, she hadn't. I felt like a million bucks! The giggle didn't last though, in less than 5 minutes she was crying again. :(

One more thing, I did see her batting at the dragonflies hanging from her bouncy chair. She would smile each time her hand hit one. :)