Secret Diary Of A Country Vicar's Wife

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By Olive Oyl

Apes, Clocks & Online Reviews

There was a wee piece in yesterday’s newspaper about giant apes being our closest living relatives. I almost choked on my breakfast when I read that. It is said in the big book that we are man made in the image of God. Here in the UK, the clocks go forward at the weekend. This means that… — read more
For They Shall See Gold???

It has been exactly a week since I got in touch with HMRC. Last week was the second time I spoke to them. Again, they were unable to help. Instead they asked me to send an email to the technical team which I duly did immediately after the phone call. I received an automatic message… — read more
A Wild Night & Blue Toothpaste

The weather was pretty wild last night. It was only 8.10pm when we retired to bed. It was early even for us but I think we were unconsciously waiting for a power cut! A few hours later, we were rudely awoken by heavy rain lashing against our windows. I was expecting the windows to come… — read more
Past Century?

A columnist in a newspaper opined this week that trouser press, shoe horn and sewing kits have no place in hotel rooms. According to her, they belong to the past century! Ouch! Here in the vicarage, we have a trouser press and a couple of shoe horns which get used on a regular basis. As… — read more
This & That

The price of oil continues to rocket and those of us who live in rural areas are nervous. We already have parishioners who are not able to get oil delivered to them forcing them to turn off their heating. Here in the vicarage, I am keeping a close eye on our oil monitor. On this… — read more
Stripped!

It’s another busy day here at the vicarage with a very early start. We started the day with a nice cup of Lapsang Souchong knowing full well what kind of a day it was going to be. By the way, Lapsang Souchong tea had been out of stock at Ocado until recently so we haven’t… — read more
O Ye Of Little Faith.

Plenty of action in the vicarage today. I have been on the phone to HMRC again this morning. As expected they were not able to help me. Among the other things happening, I’ve got someone coming to give a quote for some jobs around the vicarage. I’ve also arranged for the oven cleaner to come. I… — read more
Situationship

Since the start of the year, one thing after another has been breaking down in the vicarage. Yesterday, it was the turn of our trusted Bosch dishwasher! I am glad that it was not the washing machine or the fridge freezer. This old dishwasher has been a boon to us as we don’t have to slave… — read more
Tuesday Humour

POSTER FOUND IN A CHURCH IN FRANCE.. (TRANSLATED) WHEN YOU ENTER THIS CHURCH IT MAY BE POSSIBLE THAT YOU HEAR THE CALL OF GOD. HOWEVER IT IS UNLIKELY THAT HE WILL CALL YOU ON YOUR MOBILE. THANK YOU FOR TURNING OFF YOUR PHONES. IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO GOD, ENTER, CHOOSE A QUIET PLACE… — read more
The Plunger

Here in the vicarage, the trouble with the sink clogging continued. No amount of Mr Muscle helped and the problem was worsening. As a last resort, I got the vicar to order a plunger from Amazon. I know the vicar uses Amazon to buy books and it was way quicker than going to our nearest… — read more