Maybe I'm tired of deceit. Maybe I'm tired of your ways.. and maybe you just do not take me seriously. I once said friends forever but here I am at the end of my road.. not finding tt ans to tt ever increasing burden I find myself laiden with. I loved you because you accepted me for who I was. But I'm not strong enough to constantly remind you of your folly. There's nothing left for me to do. I guess you do not need my friendship after all. N so goodbye is all tts left to say. N maybe you will find someone one day better than I am to you..

In a freaking mood to be completely blunt.. so yeahz i am unhappy n lifes taken its toil on me.

Yesterday was a made in heaven day for me. Hee.. some of you will understand I suppose. Went to church and then went with my caregp to go shopping and try one clothes which were just so absolutely me. Hee.. lifes been good so far. Stay this way pls...=)

There is this forever friends bear named Honey on my bed. Long forgotten by the giver.. sentimental for the receiver. This is this giant tare panda on the floor.. once meant alot to the giver.. now hated by the receiver. This is this display case filled with soft toys.. representation of a long lost love.. an eye sore to the owner. As 2003 draws to a close.. so is the chapter of this part of my life. I turn the pages and cover the long yellowed ones.. to a time when I know I will find more joy and happiness in penning those times down.

Heez.. dunch noe where to begin. Life's been good the last few days. Christmas eve and christmas morning was gd. LOTR was fantastic.. however I still prefer the battle scenes in The Two Towers. Saw the Orion stars again.. beautiful morning gazing at the stars and baring our hearts out to each other. Gers!! hehez.. Slept at 4am at Christline's house. 4 babes in a rm.. Woke up at 1pm to eat.. we shared some more. I remembered telling God in 2002 hw lonely I was in church. I told Him I didn't want the over abundance of many church friends bt rather the trust and closeness of a few good ones. Guess what.. looking back... I wonder how I got these close friends.. hehez.. Adel got me this pair of pink earmuffs for christmas.. I absolutely couldnt stop wearing it. It was so cute manz.. Cheryl babe got me this star of David necklace.. something that Singapore doesnt sell and something I always wanted. And hahaz.. my brother got me the Smith Wigglesworth book on Faith.. what I wrote down as one of my wishlist on one of the previous entries. The Lord's been good. Atlas today I am stucked at home doing my history homework. 15 essays ain't no mean feat.. hehez.. Foregone my sentosa trip with High Fivers le.. Anyway.. me feel very loved and happy hahaz.. Oh yahz.. last nite must have been one of the happiest days of my life. I was like.. so happy chatting away lor.. esp to dudie and those babes I love hahahaz.. Just miss talking to them. Know I have been online bt not really chatty haha.. well well..
"Frodo, don't you ever let go!".......... hehez.. hmmz.. People don't ever let go of your dreams.. hold them dear to your heart.. You might never know, it may come true for you one day! Love yaz..

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Was precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
And everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all

The power of the Word,
The power of His blood
And everything was done
So you would come

Btw my tagboard is below i think.. theres something wrong with the thingy hehez..

Heyz.. hehe.. realised I have not been blogging for some time. Well my holiday over at Trengganu is over. Historymakers 4 has indeed been very special for me. Got more than I ever wanted hehe.. The resort was good. At least the money was worth spending for. Am happy that my caregrp peepz are drawing closer to each other and the Lord. I so want to do something for them during Christmas bt erm.. no time to go and purchase the stuff. Maybe I will get them something belated. Been non-stop slacking at home. Trying hard to do some decent hw. Well the re-exams on the 30th has been constantly on my mind. I haven started my revisions. Maybe I just do not want to study this hols at all? hehez.. Ah well.. something nearly scandalous happened to me yest. I nearly can faint lor.. My fren bu da zhi zao... I nearly nx time mei you lian see ppl liao.. hahaz... Well today is Christmas Eve.. for the first time in a long time... I am spending it with my caregp. Last yr I remember spending it with the church we had a christmas party at the Swissotel.. Ah well.. tonite is gonna be memorable lor.. Eating pizza hut and watching "The Christmas Wish" at 8pm tonite.. can't wait to hear our church choir manz.. hehez. And atlas.. a midnite movie.. LOTR.. very long nv step into cinema le.. Quite excited.. But unfortunately.. my nose has taken to alot of exercises lately.. The poor thing just won't stop running hehez.. so atlas I think I may need some really thick clothes man.. hehez.. Okiez.. something happend to me over camp. Something that hasn't happened for a long time. And just when I was lamenting to the Lord..He has to tease me this way.. keke.. bleahz.. I am happy..

Chilling out right now.. getting kindda excited abt the camp.. I can't wait. Waiting for my henna to dry. Think this is gonna be quite scandalous hahaz.. Coz my group name is "Daniel" as in the daniel in the bible.. n i henna-painted my left hand with the word "Daniel". Ignorant peepz are gonna think I am boyfriend crazy or something hehehehz.. Ah well.. leaving in 45 minutes time. Why does it feel like I am going for a long time? Hehez it is raining outside right now. But now I won't get drenched aniwae. Okie.. time to get dressed... the.world.keepz.spinning.time.won't.wait.no.matter.how.you.feel.oh.shit.tt's.life

Hmmz.. decided to blog while in the midst of doing my GP homework. This is prob the last entry till the 23rd. Hehe.. going overseas for my church youth camp. Excited, elated... Was out yesterday with my youth caregp peepz. Hehez.. guess it was the day I ate the most? But I managed to try the Crepes and Cream Dory Baked Rice.. yummie.. In fact their Hot Chocolate is comparative to Baker's Inn. Hmm.. wanted to buy a book on Faith at Tecman yesterday. But then.. was prompted din feel very led. But think I would like to buy Smith Wigglesworth book on faith. Must save up le.. Sometimes got alot of needs but then never buy by faith. Guess thats why I need tt bk. Hee... Well on impulse I bought this pair of M)phosis black flip flops which I liked a lot. Will wear it to camp. Always wanted a pair.. wondered why I never got round to buying it. Hee.. Well well..just painted my nails. Think I need alot of pampering therapy. Been eating and slping too much. Now tts not the way to lead a life... Nono!(gracie shakes her finger from side to side) Wouldnt be bringing my hp to camp so if I don't reply your smses pls understand why. Looking forward to the night ride to Trengganu tom...Will reach ard 4am.. hahaz.. ulu time huh.. kkz.. miss me lots yahz.. *muackz*

Several desires.. write down easier to rem.. hahaz.. sometimes even I forget my own desires..
*Smith Wigglesworth bk on Faith
*A sony digicam
*A discman with no frills just a norm one
*Israel trip nx yr! Peepz who want to go say Amen to tt!
*A cat calender for 2004... cant find it..

...and it is said and done...

Ah yes.. it has been a long time since I blogged. Well.. Camp Imagine! ended on the 11th and has been sleeping at home for the longest time. No mood for anything spectacular. Not really sure if I would like to elaborate on the camp. Slept a total of like 11 hrs over the last 3 nites. Hehez.. didn't really bathed arhz.. coz activities ended like 4am so no mood to really do so. Had loads of activities like Amazing Race and Territorial Invasion in which my beloved SaMMi moisturized my hair with two eggs.. Argggh... hehez.. got saboed in the torture chamber though I was supposed to be the one dunking water bombs eggs n flour on those poor participants... hehez.. ah well at least the camp is over le.. Oh yes.. I got my wish fulfilled after all these years. Was telling God how much I wanted to see the belt of Orion and the hunter himself.. last saw it when I was in sec 1 after rehearsing for SYF in school.. saw it with some of my ELDSS peers. So young then.. sweet memories.. always longed to see it again... Now at 17 I finally got the chance.. hee.. Samantha my junior from High 5 pointed it out to me. We made really good star gazer companions at 3am in the morning hehe.. I spotted 54 stars she saw 57... Warm feeling seeing stars with my friend... Last few days was just slacking for me. As a matter of fact I am packing my rm right now. But got bored. Shall be on my way soon... I'm leaving for Terengganu on the 18th nite.. coming back 22nd.. bt 23rd going for some chalet.. won't see much of me online huh.. Needa find some time to study.. Miss ya peepz... =)

Been a really long time since I blogged huh.. This whole wk simply passed by too fast for me. Went JB to shop on Monday... my goodness lor.. it is so easy to get there.. Nx time i can go there myself le.. serious. Tried Ramly's burger... highly recommended man. damn tasty. Loads happen to me this wk... just gif a summary yahz..

Well as many of you know.. I am going for my volunteer camp at East Coast this coming mon till thurs.Been having predeparture camp and stuff... really busy preparing everything for the participants. Am glad that I am involved. It gives me the experience I need to be responsible to my committee members. Love High Five Youth Alumni to bits... hehe... The camp I am going to is called Camp Imagine!. From the title one knows it involves a whole lot of creativity and for youths aged 15-17 to voice out their concerns regarding the singapore govt... stuff like culture and the arts as well as the environment. I cant wait for Amazing Race that is gonna be played in Orchard Road... Woo Hoo.... hee..

Well... this past week... my health was not really in tip-top condition. Had intestine ulcer and all this while I took for granted that I had gastric. Missed the Jerry Servelle seminar on thurs.. But know I am blessed in other ways. Went for campus service today... feel so blessed okie. I always wondered why other ppl can cry and it looks as if they are really blessed and have received... n I look at myself n wondered why I dun feel so emotionally involved.. but Sir's msg today really touched me a lot.. hee.. looking forward to History Makers 4. Trengganu here I come.... Glad that Xanthia is in my group... We are named Daniel.... N guess what.. I believed God send Xanthia to me in that special way to bless me today.. hahaz.. seen her grow from glory to glory... she is just so different... Meantime... it is time to voice out my heart's desires to God..

On a lighter note.. been watching a whole lot of vcds and stuff... I recently just finished watching My Love Patzzi.. starring Jang Na Ra... man I love this actress... the series is showing on Channel U on sat nites... her shows are really funny n she is just so cute.. nv learnt to appreciate korean shows till I started enjoying Jang Na Ra's shows... Her recent movie Oh!Happy Day! was also very funny. hahaz.. think I am having the biggest crush on her co-star in My Love Patzzi... His name is Kim Jae Won.. took me ions to find his name.. aiyoz when he smile.. I melt.. ha! but it is nice to know that Jang Na Ra, Kim Jae Won and the other co-star Kim Rae Won are christians.. hee.. coz din noe there are christians in Korea... always wondered what kind of religion they have there.. Watched Gangs of New York on vcd too.. enjoyed it thoroughly though I am prejudiced against Leo DiCappucino... Bought some really old classic DVDs... basically are movies directed by Alfred Hitchcock... really admire this man.. In case you guys din noe.. he is the author of the Three Investigators.. but he is most remembered for the bathroom murder scene he directed in the movie..Psycho.. I also bought the DVD To Kill a Mocking Bird starring Gregory Peck.. kindda like those really old movies whose actors then were just so talented. And that these movies did not have very cliche plots like modern movies nowadays.. hee..

Miss my babes.. Adeline who is at OBS right now.. cant wait to see the Chao tah her.. believe she got loads to tell me.. OBS is an unforgettable experience... miss my Cheryl babe who has gone to Israel... I cant wait for the beautiful pictures.. I long to go there some day... sometimes when ur friends are ard, you take for granted and don't feel that loss.. but when they are gone.. and you want to share with them ur stuff.. u feel the loss of their presence.. sighz.. If there is one thing Ive learnt in my 17 yrs.. Ive learnt to treasure the ppl I have ard me.. Maybe I don't tell them I love them.. bt time spent with them is time worth treasuring. In life... friends come your way for a purpose. Many of them have impacted my life in more ways then I can ever say.. hee.. Everybody needs God.. but it is the friends ard me that reminds me constantly of His very precious Love..

My friends as I leave my blog idle for the nx 4 days.. my hope for you is to have a blessed week filled with laughter and joy. May this week be a time worth remembering.. *smilie*

See what Care Bear you are.

Hmmz.. after deliberating for a few days, I am finally willing to blog. Dunch noe why, I have been having stomach gastric the last 4 days. Normally it happens in the night just before I slp, then I will only fall aslp ard 3-4am. Then today from the moment I woke up around 11+am till now.. my stomach is still churning. I don't know whats wrong. Not as if I do not eat my meals constantly. Everyday has become a routine for me. Anyway today was a good day. I met up with my sec school best friend Phay San.. missed her manz.. found that she has become a more vocal person. As a I got off the train.. I looked back at her and wondered when I would be seeing her again. Even though my stomach hurt the whole day I was with her, but I guess that feeling of companionship just made silence between us feel comfortable.

Yesterday, I went out with Ade after church. She just returned from Shanghai. She was definitely a gift sent from heaven yesterday. I was wondering when I am able to share with her that load I am carrying. Glad for her companionship yesterday. She stayed with me for a long while even though I was the one that was accompanying her with her OBS packing list. She has gone off this morning.. but feel better that I have unloaded this burden off my back.

Going to msia tom.. don't know what I would be getting there. Hope that all turns out well. N maybe a day out helps me to feel so much better. Sad tt I cant go 4/3 class gathering.. then again.. greggy, loon, ps may not be going oso.. haiz..

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