I am back not to blog abt my life but to blog abt what makes up Grace. I highly do not like to tell you abt myself unless you ask me and I trust you but since I'm feeling alittle out of the normal today, I'll just let you in alittle abt my life. Bear with my point form as I believe its easier on the eye and easier to digest. =)

Here goes..
what and why i wear what i wear- the bracelet: a gift from daddy for the one I thought I lost in JB. It's highly significant because Daddy doesn't like to buy me things. He believes in independence, tt's why I don't get my allowance anymore. I spend what I earn. And he thinks tts cool. Hehehe
-the key pendant: I hate being asked if I'm 21 and when I reply I'm not ppl will ask me why I wear a key round my neck. The reason I wear it is because a long time ago I bought a friendship pendant tt was a pair and I got the jewellery shop to separate it. A lock and a key. It was for my sec school best friend bday. She took the lock and I'm wearing the key till this day.
-my earholes: I currently have four. And they mark an impt transition in my life. It's like a mark to remind myself of each crossroad. The first pair of earholes was done in primary school, the 3rd one was in secondary and the 4th one in JC. So my 5th helix piercing will be done when I'm in Uni. Just for your info, I pierced the first pair of earholes 5 times since I was a baby because I had sensitive skin and din noe I can only wear pure gold or 925 silver and better earrings. But I'm healed of that allergy now.

the must-haves in my bag:
-housekeys
-wallet
-minimum 2 pkts of tissues
-the hp
-the tissue blotter
-the compact powder
-the foldable comb
-the drawstring beige bag with my variety of sweets and chocolates
-my eyedrops and my eardrops
-a pen

things you probably nv knew anyway:
-I do not only collect bags, shoes and postcards. That's everyone's common knowledge of me. I collect keychains too. They have a special spot in my display case. I currently have about 60 and I have never bought any of them. Even the keychain which my housekeys are attached to was a birthday gift from a friend. It's a forever friends bear with an orange teeshirt which has a capital G on it for my name.
-I can stand fashion disasters and weird hairdo ppl but I cannot stand seeing two items on ppl.
no 1: anything remotely von dutch because most of them are imitations and look fugly
no 2: women carrying fake LV or burberry bags or accessories. Hehe.. I have this very bad tendency to look at the woman carrying it and then begin to suspect if the item is fake or real esp if they do not have it in them to carry it off and look stylish.
-my toe and fingernails takes 3 mths to grow long and become fit for cutting
-though you now know I only really do type with my two index fingers only but you do not know that i use my right thumb to press the spacebar, the right middle finger to press backspace and the right pinky to press enter. And when I mean I type, I mean tt I do not look at the keyboard when I type neither do I memorise what is on the keyboard.. my five fingers just fly on the keyboard. It's like they are syncronized to my thoughts.

my tastebuds:
-I love food with onions and garlic and therefore I let out alot of methane but I eat alot of sweets too so tt I don't breathe bad breath out when I talk to you.
-I live for teh peng.
-I only love sotong head when I'm at old chang kee
-I eat all vegetables except olives and pickles.
-I eat my kfc whipped potato with chilli sauce.
-I drink with two straws.
-I cannot hold the chopsticks for nuts.

facts.abt.the.family:
-my parents are officially called retirees since a very long time ago.
-my mum ONLY cooks.. everything else is done by my dad. You read that right.. the mopping, hanging, washing and the ironing etc..
-my dad only subcribed to SCV AFTER he retired because he wanted to watch soccer and my mum wanted her hongkong drama serials.
-my parents both have perfect eyesight (in fact they are very long sighted, I depend on them for bus numbers)and perfect straight pearly smooth teeth. But my teeth ain pearly textured and I don't understand why.
-my dad has a huge nose and shares my onion and garlic craving
-my mum loves to change her hair color every mth and onli pierced her ears when she was about to get married. She told me that she pierced her ears at this place called ISABELLA which is renowned for ear piercing and is now known as b*dazzled at wisma atria. So I then knew from her that the shop has been in S'pore for more than 30 years and hasn't lost its very expensive pricetag for ear piercing.
-my brother is 30 but looks 25 and behaves like 15. His laughter is comparable to mine. I laugh volumes louder and more infectious when I'm at home. I suggest you nv become my nx door neighbour because I talk just as loudly.
-my sis in law though petite and shorter than me was a champion short distance runner in her schooling years. She does not care for the new hps in the market unlike my brother because she believes tt a hp is good as long as it can serve her well. She only needs a hp for smsing and talking.
-my niece is currently 11kg and counting. She waves byebye when you say the words. She doesn't like porridge which are coarse and kiwi is her favourite fruit. She likes to pout her lips and has the same lung power as me when she is in public. She crys when the new friend she makes at the playground has to go home. She nods her head when she hears and watches the Barney vcd being played. Her favourite song is There She Goes-By Six Pence None the Richer which is some current television advertisement. Barney and There She Goes are the only ways to keep her silent for at least 5 min as she stays transfixed to the song or vcd.
-my grandaunt passed away last nov when I was sitting for my A lvls. She slipped and fell in the toilet and she was 90. I remember that every CNY I would grip her hand really tightly and look her in the eye to tell her I love her because she was hard of hearing. And I'm glad that though the 2004 CNY was the last time I could say goodbye to her, it was also the most meaningful one because I held her hand really tightly this time as if I know it wld be my last goodbye to the woman who took care of her children singlehandedly when her husband died in the Sook Ching. Her life story when retold by daddy brings tears to my eyes because she was a strongwilled woman.
-I have two overseas relatives. My granduncle is a pastor currently based in the USA but previously pastored a church in Vancouver. I still remember this funny incident my brother had with him. My granduncle was asked to preach to the students in SAJC all those years back when my brother was a student in tt jc. When my granduncle finally told his audience his name, my bro found it strangely familiar only to realise that he was granduncle and of coz none of my brother's friends believed him. It's like saying some celebrity is your long lost uncle hehe.. I have another uncle who is currently a permanent resident in Danmark. He owns a restaurent specialising in fried chicken with his own secret chicken spice recipe. He owns a jaguar and looks plainly ordinary but is freaking rich because he is a bachelor. He was a sailor who finally landed in Danmark and made it his home for the last 40 yrs. As for the army, well he cldn't make it back in time to serve so he nv did. Hehe.. and of coz paid a monetary penalty 40 yrs later. He looks exactly like my dad just maybe younger. And my dad always tells me.. "pocket also different." hehehe..

the only things i want now:
-the digicam at the IT fair
-the contact lens
-the true star by tommy hilfiger perfume
all else is redundant...

My head's pounding even as I write this but it's really been some time since I last updated. If it ain now, I don't think I will ever find the motivation to do so. Been reporting to work at 1pm daily because of the low volume of car loans but I'm not complaining. Earning less but tt also allows me to have sufficient rest at home and be able to stay online till 3am because somehow I'm quite attached to my comp. I do so badly want to post photos up. But later this week or the nx week I guess since I really lack the energy to do so.

Had this quite horrid realisation of my slack behaviour so one morning a few days ago I packed my two wardrobes and folded away clothes I could only dream of wearing if I finally do get back in shape. My dad's been nagging that one fine day the steel bars in my wardrobes wld collapse. Hehe.. tts some funny shit tt I don't think will happen though. In addition I packed away 23 bags of which my dad decided tt it had to go into the chute and not be given away since he didn't think much abt giving ppl used things. This is so whatever.

My study room door can finally close and open properly because I hang or clutter my bags behind the study room door. But now half the remaining ones are in two drawers. My mummy laughed at me the other day because I gave her my pants tt I couldn't wear and she purposely had to try it on and it fitted her just nice. Damn she just had to enphasize it was too tight for me. Is tt a sign? hehe..

Teared during sunday service. I felt good after tt. Have been trying to find some way to release the pent up feelings I had. But I'm alright now. The 'A' lvl results no longer plague me with worrysome thoughts and fears. No amount of fearing or worrying on my part can change the fact tt the exams are already over and done with.

Am craving for another trip to JB because I would like to buy my contact lenses and make a new pair of glasses over there since it is definitely cheaper. Don't know when tt is possible but I figured it has to be these two weeks because my 6 mths supply of lenses is ending soon.

All I've spent this week is 3 bucks on the XXL crispy chicken and 10 bucks on my farecard. So far so good because I want to save up for my eyewear which is gonna cost me 400 bucks at least man.. esp since I have to wear toric lenses which cost me 180 bucks each time. Sigh.. Not to mention there is an IT sale starting march 10th and I want my digicam! It's gonna be worth buying then. Therefore if you love me and you are my friend, do not tempt me with worthy mention of good gourmet places or places with sales going on. I shall not succumb to temptation. I think.

Had a relationship, marriage and love debate and conversation with some of my friends on sunday night over starbucks coffee. I've not discussed this shit in a long time and somehow I feel I've grown up. Haha.. I've loads more perspective and definitely wiser now. The guys think my character or the nature of what I will do in a relationship is too tough for them. Hehe.. what nonsense. But I so do want to get married in 6 years time so don't you two guys go round telling other ppl I'm playing hard to get and dampen my chances or I will sue you. Grrr..

Alright my two index fingers hurt from typing. For those who dunno, I only type with my index fingers on both hands. I'm not weird, I'm unique and I'm still freaking fast. My wpm is fast. I know it. I wonder if I would be faster if I type with all my fingers.

Thought for the night before I slp I guess. =)

The week's breezed by. So many stuff has happened but I have not regretted any moment of it. Just kinda sad tt I have nt found the time to spend it with my animal farm or the other babes in my class or my sec school babes as well. I'm wondering everyday how each and everyone of you dear people are doing yet lack the motivation to actually pick up the phone to reacquaint myself with each of you.

Anyhow, I spend a quiet V day in a corner of Singapore eating vegetarian food for dinner and yu sheng for dessert. It felt weird having four teenagers attempting to mix the dish. In any case, we won 5 bucks. It felt good somehow to win something no matter the amt. I guess its a tradition tt whenever you order a plate of yu sheng during new yr, the stall wld always give you a red packet of which you will either find a lottery ticket or in my case, a scratch and win ticket tt was bought from singapore pools. Got myself looking really flushed in the face because of the vodka I drank with my friends. And then I have Sean Seow rearranging the girls on the bed for a poser shot. For a moment I thought he could make it as a world class porn director.

This yr, I received no roses from my dearest guy friends since I did not meet with any of them but one. I did however receive strawberries coated in chocolate and bread crumbs by a very sweet male colleague. He gave 3 beautifully made ones to each lady in the office. For once, I felt tt there were real men in this world who could actually cook and touch a lady's heart. Though it's not as if I have a crush on him, but the gesture felt sweet. Angie babe made chocolate coated cornflakes for me too. I feel so loved. It's the sweet gestures that count and not really the gift. Sweet sighz.. I even have a certain favourite hunk of mine buying roses for the ladies in his class. Not tt I'm complaining but I've not even received a leaf from him not to say a rose. Hehe.. But it's ok, my favourite hunk, I love you all the same. I think. =p

Been on a guilt trip lately because I shopped alot. I think it's time to be mature and be responsible for my own money. I have also decided to dwell on beneficial hobbies like reading. Visited orchard library twice this week, I have loads to read now and am glad to have something to occupy my time with.

My trip to hear my diagnosis was a shitass experience. For now, I'm alright but I don't wish to go into details. For those who know, just pray for me yeah. I think every doctor has this mental thing abt the youths of today. I was warned by another doctor this week, well not warned the doctor literally begged me. "All I'm asking of you is to abstain from sex for these two mths." Wassup manz.. haha I don't understand this shit anymore.

I've grown older and everyday as I draw nearer to my 19th which seriously isn't so far away, I'm beginning to think if I'm really leading a purposeful and fulfilling life. In any case, I'm making the most out of it. The workload isn't very heavy these days and I don't really think my job can last me till june. But I will live one day at a time knowing every new day, my portion of favour and peace is there for me.

I so very much do want to raid the bohemian spots in Singapore and go to a flea market and haggle like an experienced ah soh. To perhaps experience a little bohemia in the land I call my birthplace. And to finally find time to jog and let my thoughts rule me as I fall into constant rhythm and repeated sights around the track.

=)

It is a rather unknown fact tt I love nature. I love God's beautiful creation. I have no qualms abit trekking or going on those long hikes climbing hills and valleys as long as I can bear witness to the wondrous creations tt God has placed on this precious earth. I may lack the physique or the physical strength but I have this determination and desire tt finds themselves hard to quench. I was lying on my bed feeling drained and extremely bored and decided to listen to Pastor Prince's cd on the Story tt God told Abraham through the stars. I cannot tell you hw much I love the stars in the night sky. I've loved them as long as I knew tt there were diamonds placed in the night sky for ppl to enjoy. How can ppl look at such a wonderful creation and deny tt a God exist?

I really love star gazing. I really do. I was searching up on the constellations in the night sky and learning the names of some of the noticable stars in the sky. I still remember the year tt I knew I had to wear glasses. I was devastated because even after wearing them, I realise tt the stars din appear quite as bright to me as when I had perfect eyesight. And when I didn't wear my glasses, the light tt the stars reflected just completely disappeared. Even if I strained without my glasses all I cld see was the dark night sky. I was 13 when I first learnt of Orion's belt. It was one special night after ELDDS practice for SYF. Every member looked up to gaze at the constellation's beauty. I was young and couldn't appreciate its beauty. I completely forgot abt this beautiful constellation until last year. And then those memories of long past yesteryear flooded back to me. I remember standing in the centre of my secondary school's old carpark and gazing at the sky with its beautiful diamonds. It feels somewhat nostalgic because the old building, the old carpark, the old school feeling can only be relived in my memories. It somehow saddens me.

It didn't feel quite so long ago when all I ever did were look at clouds at the kiteflying area in marina. I usually had a picnic there and all I did was lie on the picnic mat and try to make out what objects or shapes the clouds took. Sometimes I lost myself in the vastness of those clouds and forgot reality. If life cld be so simple and innocent again. I wish for nothing but smiles, laughter and true joy to follow me all my life.

There's this great desire deep down to ride a bicycle down to pulau ubin and just breathe in the grassy smell of morning dew and the freshness of unpolluted air. A desire to sky dive and see the earth become slowly more myopic as I free fall and descend at break neck speed. To dive and see the beauty of the ocean. To lie on green pastures or soft sand and beside the one I love and count the night diamonds and recognising the different constellations. Atlas, at almost 19, I somehow think these dreams are pretty beyond me. I've neither the resources nor the skills nor found the person.

But these desires burn within my soul. Maybe one day just one day.. I will live my dreams and feel that overwhelming sense of satisfaction saturate my inner soul.

Good night.

so like it's passed the official time so HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR to all my friends. There's nothing much for me to elaborate abt my life just tt I don't know what I'll do with all the money this chinese new yr or how long more I can receive red packets since my granddies are no longer ard and I'm like the youngest cousin at the age of 19 if u can believe it so you know how old the rest of them are.

I'm still quite despo to learn the drums and revamp my entire wardrobe so I dun look so feminine and common. I badly want to write poetry but have no inspiration. And to see more fireworks or firecrackers this yr. Whatever. Im mumbling..

enjoy the festivities because no matter hw irritating your relatives get.. they're still family and such family harmony dun last forever.

lovelove,
your friendly cow
gracie

this.week.in.grace.meets.world

-i rejected three proposals to meet up because of serious reasons
-but I cldn't be bothered to explain
-i went for a medical checkup
-the nurse refuse to believe im a virgin
-so i went for a urine pregnancy test
-my calf sean seow thinks im going through virgin birth or whatever
-my doctor asked me if im sexually active and hw many times a week was the other qn
-i spent 20 bucks to take the stoopid test of which I already know the reason
-there's this issue abt my health but I shall not bother too much abt the diagnosis
-i went chinatown with dearie min
-it was OHMIGAWD good for some reasons
-i felt good bitching with her =p
-my arm is still aching from the stoopid syringe stuck into my right hand to draw blood for testing
-the nurse is inexperienced because she manoeuvered the syringe ard
-i thought turkish men was supposed to be hot but then they weren't *sobz
-i hate EUWIN KOH JIN JING
-because he exclaimed damn freaking loud at coffee club at 9.25pm on the 5th of feb 2005 "what?! You had sex?"
-all because i told him abt my stoopid medical checkup
-Jing is a jerk because of his fetish for NERDS and JACK
-i spent time with mummy today
-i cut and re-dyed and re-hightlighted my hair this morning
-and cut and shaved and plucked my eyebrows as well
-i no longer have a shoe fetish
-i have developed a big-earrings fetish instead
-i hate bak kwa but im buying them for my family
-the irony of it all
-sometimes i hate going out with guys because guys will think girls are a hindrance esp if u r the onli girl.
-i felt bad being in their way because they cldn't view the chicken parade at orchard rd just nw
-i did something unexpected this week but im pretending it din happen
-i got jealous 3 times this week
-i realised this week tt different grps of friends know different things abt my life and together it forms the jigsaw puzzle of grace
-i was an oscar winning actress this week in the office and my partner likes to call me a bitch
-there is this rebonded hair old hag who likes to talk cock to this nerdy cjcian who always happens to wear the same color combi (top and bottom) as one of the guys in the office
-there is this ugly broomstick Abigial lookalike who likes to wear a curtain for a skirt to work
-there is this permanent staff who is a complete slacker and who is in charge of me whose clothes and shoes can be counted with one hand
-she is a bitch because she forged my signature and likes to call ppl meinu when she doesnt mean it
-she is a slacker because all she ever does is use the freaking telephone
-her name is a disgrace to Jesus's mum
-there is this other cjc girl who got sacked because she bitched too much in the office and her parting gift to me was a box of kelloggs cornflakes
-but im thankful for angie
-because she was there to comfort me this week when i received the bad diagnosis
-im glad for my partner E'an who laughs as much as i do and who enjoys the simple stash of snacks i bring to the office
-i find simple things to content with like laughing at those ugly and weird faces o the photocopied i/c i have
-or ogle at the salary scale of many other occupations tt can sometimes be a bit unthinkable
-or get angry abt unfilial sons who make their 83 yr old mother pay for the car instalments
-or laugh my ass off when i see a weird name like TAN KOK GAY who has his car salesman called a (sales engineer) with the name of CHEE HONG.
-so like CHEE HONG served KOK GAY
-n then i have this woman with like 7 christian names.. hw mad
-n when tt rebonded old hag was laming abt butt cracks.. this old uncle from my dept fell off his chair and bumped himself hard on the floor
-men.... tsk tsk hahaha
-ive developed this fake accent thing in the office because im too bored
-and E'an wrote on my interest rebate letter in PEN tt the nerdy cjc girl had clothes tt "look like maternity dress" and we nearly got screwed because the interest rebate letter had to be returned to the customer
-and then i encounter this weird woman in the toilet at the cubicle next to mine tt was shitting but sounded like she was engaging in some activity because she was moaning
-im guessing she was constipating and hence the sound turned out like tt
-i was so freaked out i cldnt pee
-im nt being gross but i nv encountered such weird things in my life before
-God help me
-the.end

I miss hw it used to be between you and me...

Nah.. what shit is tt hahaha.. just kidding. That sounds like some shitass bimbotic hopeless asshole. Actually I'm so lovelorn right nw. I'm missing so many things I love and nearly forgot I love. My life is so different right nw. And my brain is twirling but I want to say so much yet find it so constricting to say it out loud. But talked to my favourite hamster from my animal farm and I realised I miss each of them so much. There's sammi's bday party this week and I dunno what to expect. Let's start with why I miss them. My tribute to the animal farm.

I miss the days we spent trying to decide who to line up first in line at the 2A03 queue.
I miss the times we wld chiong down to canteen after lecture just to be first in line for nasi brani esp on fridays.
I miss the times we wld sit in one line next to each other and realise tt our class seems a rather racist bunch.
I miss the way Reney and Sha used to burp so damn phucking loud I will be so embarassed.
I miss telling my babes abt my cute guys when they walk pass me.
I miss bitching with them abt fatty wong during GP lessons.
I miss PE where the girls trained for their lives for NAPFA.
I miss the photo whores in us where photo taking was all tt ever mattered in skool.
I miss the times when we compared earholes and earrings and Nana always wld have the biggest and grossest kind.
I miss the outings tt we went on. chinatown.clubbing.eating.ktv.kite-flying.etc
I miss the times when we talked about 40 pills and 40 pins. Haha
I miss it when we used to stand in front of the mirror and stand on top of the toilet benches to adjust the length of our skirts and blouses.
I miss it when Parquack says she balding and Sha suddenly comes to skool with rebonded hair.
I miss copying hw from you all. Haha..
I miss going down to the bookshop and frantically searching and printing lit notes
I miss you all teasing me abt Mesmerizing Eyes. *faintz.
I miss the fact tt we always had the loudest laughter and the lamest jokes
I miss laughing at Reney hehe.. who always says the wrong thing like Lord of the FILES n and not flies.
I miss looking at nana's cleavage and bra through the hole in her blouse which she REFUSES to sew.
I miss our own animal farm language like.anot and adding -ed. to every word you say.
I miss our coffeeshop lunch sessions.
I miss whining abt Mr Hui to all and Sha's obsession with Mr Hui's ass
I miss the aquarium where we created history together.
I miss complaining abt SOB and SUB. haaha..
I miss the astonishment on our faces when we won BEST CG award. haha..
I miss our undisputed title of having the SHORTEST queue in the school and the MOST absentees.
I miss the gross outfits Fatty wong used to wear.
I miss your laughter.
I miss your smiles.
I miss our bonding.
I miss our bitching.
I miss your presence.

I just miss YOU and YOU and YOU and YOU and YOU.

*hugz.

July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009