The monotone ritualistic lifestyle has somewhat made me a rather dispassionate being. I feel quite removed from the world. Like a recluse on her spiral to shutting out the light in her life.

It's a love-hate relationship with my lifestyle. I wish I could cast away the responsibilities in my life and engage in some self-indulgence. I lament the passing of my forsaken passions...

I wish life was like this for me...

-sitting by a solitary window in a cafe, sipping hot chocolate on a cold rainy day. Perhaps cracking the serenity of peace by harbouring murderous accusational thoughts while reading a good murder mystery by James Patterson.

-having once dreamt of being an archaeologist in a country where such a profession is not highly available, the closest I can get to a piece of history is to revisit museums in Singapore. Absorbing in the sights and testaments of a bygone era. Registering nuggets of trivia and facts into my brain database.

-owning a good digital camera some day in this life. Taking pictures of random sights and movements. Of nature, of emotions and to express myself through pictures.

-backpacking my way through lost civilisations like Angkor Wat. Experiencing life without restrictions and limitations. Of simplicity and uncomplicated joy.

-to revisit old streets in Singapore. To find a hidden gem tucked away in a corner of every street I visit. Shops unknown yet teeming with such treasures to be discovered and appreciated.

-to sit on a swing and swing so high n so fast with adrenalin coursing through my veins. The uncertainty of falling and the strong breeze engulfing my body and eclipsing the sweat.

Cruising through life at a leisurely pace, unlike the fast paced rituals in my life now. I wish and if only I could have the cookie in the cookie jar. I swear I would be the happiest girl in my whole wide universe.

*taking deep breaths albeit suffocating surroundings

More gatherings since the last time I blogged including planning bday surprises and all. It amazes me how the little time spent is multiplied in quality. These precious people that I love...

I've started tuition with my korean boy again. And I do teach other nationalities as well, taiwanese, msian n china. No locals though so I'm thankful for no kiasu parents. In particular I think teaching foreigners is really an experience. My korean boy studies in an american school here in sg. My tuition with him is spent doing loads of interesting projects I never had the chance to venture into when I was in sec school. Not forgetting, his family is really warm too. I get breakfast, teatime or even dinner depending on the time I teach. And the food is exquisite too. Apart from authentic korean meals, I get stuff like smoked salmon baguette etc.. I feel really blessed.

In addition, teaching the other foreign kids who are in local schools has allowed me to practise patience n tolerance n love with these kids of whom some are barely 12 years old. Some are absolute monkeys while others are just the sweetest things.. But my spoken chinese is so darn cheena-fied nw, I sometimes sound like I'm from the mainland.

This coming week is my last week of lessons for my 2nd trimester in school. Exams are coming in 2 weeks time again. Of which I haven prepared at all hehe.. Had a little time to watch Pan's Labyrinth with my rattypootpoot neighbour this week. Awesome movie. Reminds me of the time in Literature class back in JC.. where we get to analyse fairy tales with adult themes. It's in Spanish bt it's darn good. I've always been a fan of foreign films especially Bollywood and French. =)

Anw some picture graphics to show some love I've had this mth...

Sammi Darling's Bday.. 06/01/07
Not many fotos n not very clear because I haven got those taken with the camera yet.. n unfortunately sammi din send me so though it was her bday I dun have mani pics to show of one of my favourite girls.

View from the 31st storey of Swissotel by day...



View from the 31st storey of Swissotel by night... Blurness coz I took it with my phone. =)



the chindian, the peranakan chinese and the indian~ I swear we are the faces of multi racial singapore hahahaha



She's just the sweetest n purest thing... I hearts Reney dear



the fountain at Raffles hotel was pretty.. so the hamster Reney had to take a pic with it..



seriously.. i look damn short beside slender aisha aka devi my maid.. bah!



aisha.. me.. preeti.. and chrystella my babes.. <3



yes a G.S.T pic with the bday girl like finally hehe

Min dear's bday 06/01/07 night
Yes I was at two parties in a day. But these babes I love.


Min dear... din get to catch up much coz the dearie was busy but it was nice seeing her after so long..



poying, and min the bday babe in green and gaowei n greg.. ex sec school classmates I haven seen in a long while.. it was nice..

Chrystella my kakak's bday 13/01/07
some of the 1A03/2A03 JC family...



my multi racial girlfriends...



it's one of those times u get stares for blatantly taking fotos in the middle of the road outside the Heeren..



I dunno what is this.. it was suppose to be act cute.. looks wrong somehow



and us again... indeed multiracial huh..

more pics soon.. including that of Beautiful Bao's bday surprise..
Pictures speak a thousand words.. these pics with my friends.. Said with all sincerity, they are indeed one of my life's greatest blessings.

I'm thankful.

I have alot to say, to do and to meet but for now I can only stick to my schedule. For friends who miss me.. I know! I'm aware and I miss many of you too. But I can only ask for understanding at a time whereby I find myself suffocating from the tons of things I have to do.

This week, I have been maligned and accused for not doing certain things or for writing certain things. But then again what is read and how things are taken are subjective. My family and friends-in short relationships mean the world to me. I know how it feels to feel tt one is taken for a ride or to feel insecure that I no longer care.

I pray for friendships that can be self-sustainable. Everyone wants a piece of me but there is only one Grace lah.. I only need understanding in my time of need for some space and to take the initiative if some things tt you expect of me I dun deliver, sms or call me. I am after all a phonecall away. Dun sit there and lament that I hate you when I dun call. I only have a pair of hands, one me and a heavenload of things to complete in a day.

I hope all my friendships are at a mature level. After all, we are all adults or gonna be adults in the months to come. And many of my friends, I've known for years but not meeting up or me contacting my friends doesn't mean I dun miss them.

I dun like being vulnerable so all I will say is tt my day starts at 6am and ends after 11.30pm. I work, then run to give tuition, then run for class, then run home to do assignments. Any time I spend going for bdays is on borrowed time from my other daily schedule. I take comfort in the fact I get to see ALOT of friends despite a short span of time. I'm really making the effort so I hope my friends try to understand for just this busy period of my life.

And I am seriously not arrowing anyone nor is this a complaint. This is my feelings at this point to all my friends in general. Pls do not speculate nor get hurt in the process of assumption. Now I know what "assume makes an ASS of U n ME truly mean" So if while reading this, you suddenly feel guilty conscienced, dispel that thought. These are just words, and I dun remember having friends with fragile hearts that could be easily affected and hurt. =)

I can only pray tt as I prioritise certain things in my life now, that the rest wun fall at the wayside. All things shall work for good for those who trust Him.

*warning. . . emo entry...

Back from a hectic weekend of which every inch of me does not regret making time for old friends in spite of my project assignments and busy schedule.

Staying at the Swissotel was to me an experience I never want to forget. We made Sammi confess in her sleepy state that Tirene and I were special tts why we got to stay at the suite and the rest didn't. Short term gratification. Haha. It was just two days and one night but I dunno why this time spent with my babes mean so much to me. Let me just sum up the whole night in point form.

*ear block syndrome going up the lift to the 31st floor.
*excellent view of Esplanade, CBD area and Orchard road
*had two broad balconies
*great bday lunch buffet at Raffles hotel
*bday girl received alot of branded presents (but i bet none as priceless as the one tirene n i got her)
*left hotel to go to friend's party at Aloha Loyang
*met sweet old friends
*went back to hotel room
*was driven out for supper at Newton circus
*back at hotel, sammi suffered from jetlag and slept
*i laid the extra comforter on the balcony floor.
*chatted with tirene with the excellent view beside us at night, windy breeze, 2 glasses of red wine and 2 comfy pillows coupled with lovely char tow kway.
*slept after tt but our biatch Sammi woke up at 730 and made us all wake up with her to go for breakfast buffet
*ate the very expensive 35 bucks breakfast
*went back to hotel room balcony and I shared with my babes the last moments I had with my mum.
*vulnerabilities were laid bare tt very morning, precious tears were shared.

For the first time after my mum's death, I opened up my heart to my two babes and shared the very last moments I had with my mum which I find it still too painful to share with anyone else. I do not dare to be vulnerable to random people because the piercing pain still hurts too much. I can't bare to let people see me cry.

Everything is made more real to me because I was the first one to discover her death, could see the tears that ran down from her eyes as she went home to be with Daddy God. Perhaps some day when I've truly gone past my vulnerabilities and dun mind my friends watching me howl and cry, I will share that precious last moments I spent with the mother who raised me and loved me unconditionally. When school started on monday, the 3rd, I saw mothers carrying their children's schoolbags and I broke down. Didn't it all seem like yesterday when she held my hand and crossed the road to school, me clad in neatly ironed uniform by her. When it rained, she walked me to school with the umbrella and a change of slippers to school shoes when we reached. Those gestures, the silent support she gave. How could I forget?

Tmr, it will be one year and 6 months. But even as normal as I am every day of my life, I will never get over this silent pain. She never left me. She still lives in my heart forever. And I will always miss her.

weEeEeEeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm off to more parties and hotel stays this weekend.... n meeting OLD.. LONG NOT SEEN friendsssss............ *hearts

photowhoring this weekend.

*cheessssseeeee

So its 2007... The beginning of many good things to come...

Had New Year Eve's at someone's house. Made new friends that night. Played games so farnie that I had abs that night. Watched the fireworks from the 14th storey of tt someone's house. Spent the 2nd day of new year with Tirene, one/thirdth of G.S.T and then with my beloveds at Joshua's and Caleb's house. First day of new year was spent at Spore Pools not collecting money unfortunately but working because there were EPL matches on New Year's Day.. Bah~!!!

N btw I have received complaints I dun meet some of you enough.. some of you even ask me if I'm gonna meet you dearies in 2007. I will try okie I swear upon thy bagadengdengs. Just ask me out. I will do my best. Dunno what I did to get myself so busy. Sighz..

More love to come in the coming days.. the first few pics of 2007...


*Fifth year of LOVE with my JC bestie. . .


*Shocked that time flew so fast... sighz..


*Faces always look smaller when you look up at the camera... hehe


*the CHOMEL pink diamond crystal necklace Tirene got me for Christmas... I know she loves me BIG TIME hehehe.. ~hearts



*and finally.. RUFFLES the bitch.. Joshua and Caleb's... the pretty dog's in heat hehe.. She kept popping her head into my dress. I think she's a cheekoboooo....

July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009