- When you wash your bras (and that is totally what I look like in my bra, by the way, lmao), do not hang them to dry where your toddler can reach them. Because when the doorbell rings, he will see this as the perfect opportunity to bring you said bras while he is also using them as a chew toy. Your lawn person may respond like mine with Deer in the Headlights face and just say “ummmm… uhhh… ok then” and walk off.
- Somewhere around 17 months of age, your toddler may decide that he no longer wants to sit still while you attempt to change his diaper. This will most commonly occur when he has had a SERIOUS bowel movement. Then the kicking, wiggling, and screaming will commence. But he will wait until you have started to remove the diaper before the “freak out” because he wants you to think that he is actually going to hold still so that you are both not covered in yuckiness by the end of the diaper change. Do not be fooled!! Use rope, rubber bands and/or duct tape if necessary.
- Anything that can be pushed around like a shopping cart will be. This includes trash cans, boxes of any sort, laundry baskets (especially when trying to fold clothes out of one or trying to place sorted dirty clothes into the basket) and sometimes even an end table. I advise against allowing the last if you have glass tables like me.
- If there is an open soda can or beer bottle within a hundred mile radius, an 18 month old will find it and dump its entire contents on your new carpet.
- When your child tries to show you some chocolate that is on his finger from a recently eaten cookie, it’s best not to taste it unless you smell it first to decipher if the brown smudge is indeed chocolate. This was brought to me by a friend’s experience. (Or was it?)
- When your toddler comes up to you and starts petting your bare leg like a dog, it’s time to think about upping your personal hygiene
- Taking a toddler shopping at a Wal-mart (with half broken air conditioning) for 2 hours when everyone else in your town is also shopping there (and sweating and smelling) and then having to wait in line for another 35 minutes is not how I would suggest spending a Saturday afternoon in 95 degree heat.
- Wash closely when your toddler is eating. Otherwise you may be forced to fish an entire bowl of goldfish crackers out of his mouth at the Olive Garden in front of hundreds of people. Complete with colored drool and screams of protest.
Well that is all the lessons I have for today 🙂 lol
What things have you learned from your toddler?
I don’t usually blog about giveaways, but I wanted to let you all in on a really good one. Go here if you are interested.
The World Through My Eyes 
oh how I remember some of these lessons….especially the petting your legs one.
haha thats when you know you let things go too far!! hahaha
Hilarious, but all true! I remember it well and I am now re-living it via our daughters three little boys!
lol 🙂 Thanks for reading Joan!! 🙂
I learned that toddlers really will repeat everything you say….as demonstrated one day when Puddin Face saw someone on tv and announced grimly, “He looks like a PUNK.” 😛
Great blog dahlink 🙂
HAHAHA!! How cute!!
“When your toddler comes up to you and starts petting your bare leg like a dog, it’s time to think about upping your personal hygiene”
Oh.My.God. You crack me up!
Glad to amuse 🙂
duly noted!! And this is why I am glad to be years beyond the toddler phase, where the only thing I have to deal with is an occasionally grumpy teen 😀
Teen years SCARE ME!! lol So I am glad that we aren’t there yet. hahaha
LOL! These are the things that nobody tells us before we find out for ourselves. It won’t change my mind about wanting a family but at least I know what (else) to expect. 🙂
Oh believe me this is just the tip of the iceberg!! hahaha
I love ’em. Too funny. And great tip about the “chocolate” smudge.
HAHA! That one really wasn’t mine but ewwww it made me shudder!
SEE!!! I totally need to post about my own bowel issues, since I don’t have kids. Maybe I need to start posting about petting people’s legs too.
That is a GREAT idea!!! HAHAHAHA
How true all of those are! Here’s another one for ya – It was great when my toddler son started putting my shirts on his head, and then backing up and saying “beep. beep. beep.” WTH does that mean?! Wideload when I’m coming through?!
HAHAHAHA!! Monkey walks backwards all the time. Not sure why. No beeping yet. That is hilarious!
P.S. That actually could be you in the bra picture. When I am looking at the post on this laptop, the pic lines up with your profile pic. And in your profile pic you are kind of at an angle. Totally, almost, kind of the same person. In a different kind of way. 😉
You just became my absolute favorite person ever for that compliment… err i mean comment. 😀
Love the toddler stories; especially the pushing everything around one. I owned a daycare for years and the kids would push around any odd object they could get their little hands on. There would be a pile of high end toys wasting on the floor while three kids fought over who got to push around the empty toy box.
hahaha Yup! Sounds about right! Wonder where they get the fascination to do that. *shrug*
UGH! Kainoa is totally doing the pushing thing…and then climbing on top of said pushy things…and then grabbing knives from countertops. Super safe.
Oh dear lord! THAT is scary! I am hoping that phase is far off yet. I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE!!
Great list … had me laughing for sure … checking in from MamaKat’s writing prompts and gearing up to write my own list … nipples will definitely make the list 😉
HAHA!! I will head over in a few to check it out 😉
Chocolate for toddlers, Dijon Mustard for babies. Always smell first. Trust me.
HAHAHAHA!!! Thank you! 🙂
That is awesome! And so nice to know I am not the only one.. for which of the things.. well that is just classified 🙂
My daughter often refuses to sit on my lap because “Your scratchy” as she will inform me.
LMAO!!!!! Good times. HAHAHAHA!!
Wow. You have learned a lot of lessons from your baby. I am taking note! : ) Thank you for this service.
Sure, anytime 🙂
Oh, and PS I love your bra. So nice of you to share that pretty picture with us! You look great in your bra!
you ROCK for that comment!!! 😀
Such good lessons!
Thank you Raine!
OMG Thomas is all about pushing around the laundry basket at which time he will try to put anything and everything in said basket, including his little brother!!
I am making a mental note about chocolate on child’s finger!
HAHAHA!! Monkey does that too. He tried with one of the dogs once and she growled at him like “dude, get yer hands OFF me!” and he yelled at her in baby language (probably cursing baby language, haha) and walked off. Lol