5. I'm sorry you couldn't have one of your own. I understand the intent behind this. The person who would ask this question is merely trying to empathize. But I know my adopted children are my own children. And that is something to celebrate! I did get my own children after all the heartache I went through! Perhaps a better way to word this would be "I'm sorry you weren't able to get pregnant. But I'm happy you have been able to adopt your children." Adoption is such a blessing.

6. When are you finally going to get your baby? The wait to adopt is hard. Especially for the parents to be. We don't really need reminders like "finally", so that would should be avoided until maybe after placement. A better way may be to ask if there are any prospects.

7. I've heard about an adopted kid who abused his siblings, never hugged his parents, and set fire to the cat. It is true that some children have emotional problems from being in an unhealthy environment before they were adopted. But not all, not even close to all, children don't have emotional problems. But those who do, need loving homes just like any other child. Some people can be their parents, some can't. It all stems back to we will get whichever child we were meant to have. All children are a challenge in one time of their life or another. It's not because they are adopted.

8. Are they real sisters? I get the wonderment behind this question. But a better way to ask is "Are they biological sisters?" Siblings are real siblings no matter how they enter a family.

9. What if they want him back? I've gotten this question before. I got a pedicure and the man doing it asked "what if they want him back?" Well, this isn't really someone adoptive parents like to think about. And in most cases, once the relinquishment papers are signed, they can't change their mind. So it isn't someone we worry about. We can't worry about it, we need to focus on bonding with the child. If we think about "oh what if this child is taken from me?" it's hard to want to bond in fear you'll get your heart broken. My son's birth father, who never had anything to do with my baby or his birth mom, threatened to fight or him. I was an emotional wreck. I had to disregard my thoughts of him possibly not being in my family any more because it was interfering with my mothering. I knew he need a mother while he was with us so I had to step up to the plate and stop thinking about myself. But in the end, it was all just threats, and he didn't have much of a chance of taking my son anyway.

10. Your child's so lucky. It's true, my child is lucky. I'm one heck of a mom! Well actually, most children really are so lucky no matter how they enter a family. Because I think most families are pretty great. But there are those few children who have been in broken homes or who have no family at all or who live in poverty. Yep, I must say, I agree with those people who say those kids are blessed to be able to be adopted. Again, adoption is a blessing, on both sides!

Do you have any questions you'd like me to address on my blog? Please ask in the comments and I'll answer them in a blog post. Thanks for reading!

Since I'm going to be passing into a new decade on October 1st, I thought I'd think back about my twenties and hopefully that will help me look forward to my thirties... because I know my twenties were a rough 10 years!

20- Single and a college student at USU. I had a missionary in Alaska and a met a boy who lived a couple of buildings away from mine. I KNEW I wasn't supposed to be with him. So everyday that passed was torture for me because I made the mistake of dating a great guy who I knew I shouldn't be with, for some reason.

21- Still dating the guy and in school. New Years Eve came. 2004 was turning into 2005. I was spending the evening with the guy whom I had broken up with just days before. I thought it was odd he wanted to be with me even though we weren't together any more. The countdown to 2005 began. He left the room and came back in with a vase of a dozen red roses. I saw the ring hanging from one. He got on his knee and proposed. The thought going through my head and heart was "Say no! Say NO!" I began crying and ultimately said no, he took me home- a 45 minute drive from where we were..... A few weeks later I got an email from my missionary saying my letters and pictures depressed him and that I have a gut and look fat. I was 125 pounds! I was devastated that he would write something like that to me. Our letters dwindled- the boyfriend who proposed was still hanging around in hopes I'd say yes someday. May 2005- I met Blake on a blind date. The worst blind date, ever! I had a missionary who I had mixed feelings about, I had a guy hanging around who wanted to marry me- then I was on a date with a great guy- who I thought was WEIRD, fresh, and I mean FRESH, off his mission. After the train wreck of a date with Blake, he called me a couple days later. That began the dating... I completely broke it off with proposal guy and stopped writing jerk missionary. July 9th Blake proposed. September 9th we were married in the Bountiful Temple.

22- We were trying to get pregnant.

23- Still trying. Heartache month, after month, after month.

24- Still trying. Friday, June 13th 2008 I got a laporscopic surgery to see if I had Endometriosis. I indeed did. My doctor burned out all she saw. She did the blue ink test to see if I was all clear. The ink didn't pass through my Fallopian Tubes. This meant the Endometriosis was in my tubes and when I came to, my doctor said I couldn't get pregnant. Although I was in tears, my thoughts immediately turned to adoption and I felt peace. Before I was even healed all the way, we had begun the adoption process. A LONG, stressful process. In 

25- December 2008 I was laid off from my job. I couldn't have been more happy about that. About 3 months later in 2009 I heard about Miss Jenna. She chose us to adopt her unborn baby April 30th. Then one month later, on June 1st, our beautiful  Gracie was born.

26- October 25th 2009, I was hemorrhaging uncontrollably. We made our way to McKay Dee Hospital where I was diagnosed with ITP ( Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura ). I got better after Platelet and blood transfusions and was released on Halloween day. January 2010 Blake lost his job. March 1st my dog, Junior, who was my baby when I was longing for a baby, was put to sleep because he had broken his back and was paralyzed  Worst day of my life. I cried everyday for months. Blake was out of a job for so long, searching constantly. 2011 came. We had to move. We couldn't afford our house payment any more because of hospital bills and no jobs. We moved to Fruit Heights where Blake's parents were so generous to let us live in their rental home. Moving here was the best place we could have moved to. I love it and wish to never leave my neighborhood and ward. May came- I began hemorrhaging  Back to McKay Dee Hospital for another week. We got it under control and I was released. September 2011 Blake was hired onto a steady job.

27- December 2nd 2011, hemorrhaging again. They didn't fix me after a week at McKay Dee Hospital so I was transferred to Huntsman Cancer Institute where they removed my spleen. Mid December I was released and spent weeks recovering. Otherwise, a pretty mild year (minus the spleenectomy and nearly dying) 

28- I haven't had a relapse since my spleenectomy. I longed to adopt again but Blake didn't feel ready.

29- Blake got a new position at his job and was traveling a lot. We began the adoption process and paperwork. January 2013 we were approved for adoption. That same month, Blake was laid off but that same day got a job, thanks to our friend. The job he still has today. He moved up quickly at his work. We found out about Miss Kayleigh during Priesthood Session of Conference April 2013. She chose us adopt her unborn baby April 23rd. Then July 3rd 2013 our wonderful baby boy was born.

My twenties were a wild roller coaster ride. We married and adopted 2 children. That has been wonderful. I wouldn't change my twenties for those reasons. But I wouldn't want to relive my twenties for all the other reasons. Here's to my thirties!!

She's so cute. Whenever she's around a baby she automatically goes into big sister mode. She's adorable and ready for her baby brother!

Where did my baby girl go?!

Gracie loves:
dancing
singing
princess
mermaids
barbies
books
dresses

She is a happy, energetic, spunky sweet little girl.

I can't believe 4 years ago this magnificent young woman gave birth to the most precious little being in my life. I can't believe 4 years ago I became a mother. And all because of the most selfless act anyone could do. We love Jenna and will forever be grateful to her. We love Gracie with all our hearts. She is such a blessing.















 She's beautiful

Most already know we've been chosen to adopt again. The baby BOY is due the end of June. (3 weeks!)

It was conference weekend. I saw this quote and so I took the challenge.
 Saturday night during my girls night with my sister and mom and Blake was at the Priesthood session with his dad. Blake got a phone call from a woman he taught on his mission. I assume since he rarely hears from her he thought he'd better take the call. It's a good thing he did. She told him the man she is dating has a daughter who had JUST decided to place her baby for adoption and so she told the young woman about Blake and me. We became friends on Facebook that evening. And I must admit- until I met her in person, a month later, I was so nervous to post anything on Facebook because I knew someone who might pick us to adopt her child could see what I wrote! I wanted everything to be perfect. A few weeks later, on April 23rd, I had just ridden a bus with Gracie to ID because my mom's uncle had died that day. As soon as I sat down at my grandma's house Blake called me and told me the young woman in Oregon had chosen us. I, of course, was elated! :) I told Gracie she was going to have a baby brother- she said she wanted a sister. But we went to the store the next day and she picked out a blanket for him and I think she's been happy about the fact that the baby is a boy. I told her next time it might be a girl :P She really wants a sister named Layla.

The first weekend in May, the 3rd through the 6th we traveled to and from Oregon. We met the sweet girl on Sunday the 5th. I was incredibly nervous  just before I met her. As soon as she sat down next to me and heard her voice I felt calm. It was a lot of driving but the couple of hours we had with her was worth it!
Now she has moved to Las Vegas.

The baby is 1/2 Hispanic. I have to say, it's HARD picking out boy names. But we did.

So there it is, officially. Yes I believe I got an answer to my question. When will we get our baby? June! I just love the birth moms in our lives. They make our dreams come true.

Motherhood. Something that doesn't come to me easily. But I have learned that Motherhood is a divine gift from God- no matter how one becomes a mother. My husband and I had been married 2 and a half years before I found out I wasn't able to have children. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. I had it so badly that a specialist in Oregon said I could not be "fixed". But the first thought that came to me, even through my tears, was adoption. The very next day after my laparoscopic surgery, we started the paper work for adoption. Seven long and difficult months later, we were approved for adoption in January 2009. It was April 2009 when we were chosen to adopt the baby girl who would be born in June. Then June 1st, our miracle was born. From the time my darling daughter was born until now, my husband and I had been on quite the roller coaster ride together. I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease in October of 2009. ITP (Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura) a rare, strange disease that causes my spleen to create antibodies that kill my platelets which cause me to hemorrhage. Although this hasn't a thing to do with motherhood,  a month later my husband lost his job. 2 years and a move out of our home later, he was able to find another job. Meanwhile, I had been in and out of the hospital 2 more times for ITP. My final time of being in the hospital, December of 2011, I was in the hospital for 2 long weeks. My Hematologist was afraid for my life. He sent me to Huntsman Cancer Institute where they removed my spleen. Ever since then, I haven't had a problem with ITP. I tell you this because it helps me know, even more than before, that pregnancy and child birth just aren't in the books for me. And I'm ok with that. I do have my times where I feel sorry for myself and wonder why I can't have kids easily like the thousands around me. But then I remember how special I must be if a birth mother actually chose me to be the mother of her child. We've since been chosen again to adopt a baby boy who is due in July. It doesn't matter how my children come to my family, as long as I have my children. Motherhood, to me, isn't about being pregnant and having children. It's about being united with my children and becoming each other's for eternity. I have gotten to spend 4 years with my daughter and really bond with her.  Although I've ached for another baby for a couple of years, I'm grateful I got to spend this time with my daughter, just she and I. Birth mom's are the biggest part of why I'm a mother. With out them, their love and selflessness, I wouldn't be a mother today. There is no shame in placing a child for adoption. It gives a husband and wife something they couldn't give each other, the titles of father and mother. Motherhood. Something that has been carefully planned out for me.

13th Annual Safe Kids F.I.T. Fair

Saturday, May 4, 2013
10 a.m. - 1 p.m.

Barnes Park
200 North 900 West
Kaysville

Over 40 Interactive Booths and Activities
All Free

Free Bike Helmets for the first 300 participants. Helmets are distributed by first come, first serve numbers available at 10 a.m.

My house is a little bland so I decided to finally paint my kitchen. I've had the paint since August so it was about time! Gracie really loved helping. Once everything is back into place I hope I will love it. I will post a pic once everything is back in its place but for now here is the before and after pics.
The pic of the fabric is the fabric I'm using to make curtains for my kitchen. Eek! I'm excited.

Song 2: Michael McLean

With so many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I've been thinking, 'cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I should give this child to you.

And maybe you can tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before;
By someone who delivered your son
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

If you choose to tell him, and if he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life could bear to let him go;
Just tell him there were sleepless nights; I prayed and paced the floors
And knew the only peace I'd find is if this child was yours.

And maybe you can tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before;
By someone who delivered your son
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

Now I know that you don't have to do this,
But could you kiss him once for me
The first time that he ties his shoes, or falls and skins his knee?
And could you hold him twice as long when he makes his mistakes,
And tell him that he's not alone, sometimes that's all it takes.
I know how much he'll ache.

This may not be the answer for another girl like me;
But I'm not on a soapbox saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings and I'm trusting God above,
And I'm trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers' love.

And maybe you can tell your baby
When you love him so that he's been loved before;
By someone who delivered your son
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.