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Well... it's a full moon tonight... Some time.. when you feel the like of crying is reaching your limit... you just can't cry not because your not emotional enough nor because things isn't saddening enough..
I just feel too numb that blogging seems to relieve all the emotional issue and personally problem with myself...But that is only if you are able to express yourself in the right way..
I think in order for people to express themselves properly... that is when the method of draining emotional thought and method of expressing the emotional thoughts are important.. and FYI my draining and expressing is two different thing.

Well, together I lost my Samsung Ultratouch Phone... but, honestly after some thought, what REALLY is lost when I lost my phone?

It isn't the monetary cost of the phone that upset me..

It isn't the contact that I lost upset me...

It isn't the message that is lost that upset me...

AND of course it isn't the music that I can't listen to on the road that upset me...

...

Well, what I think is really lost is the sentimental value that is that phone...
The feeling of caring for my phone by cutting a camera screen protector for my ultra-touch as the screen protector isn't out..
The First sight when I saw this handphone.. even though it doesn't have lots of function, but I always thinks that it look nicer than others...
The camera and photos that I have taken with this phone...
And The Last and not least, the very fact that my Ex actually lend/give me the extra money to get this phone and ask me take care of it... and it isn't small amount or very very big amount...

well that's for the phone part...

Anyway ... the next few part don't need to explain much... all I can say is that ... I feel fortunate that I'm optimistic~ and probably won't get any disturbance by phone for the next feel days and be more care-free~

Honestly, I was thinking... the more I think into such matter, the less chance of me being a candidate for Boyfriend LOL~

But anyway.. I was thinking on this comment, not particularly shooting anyone but the phase "Wake up before crying over spilled milk"...well eventually milk will spill and something would happen. But sometime the question goes to asking 'if you never try, how you know the milk will spill?'... "TRY" is the keyword here... and to continue on... so what happen when milk is spilled?

Well...simply clean-up the spilled milk and try some other methods!~ ( Don't I sound like a irresponsible boyfriend? )

I don't know...but as I journey my way to learning psychic ( which I have to say I have yet to achieve) There is always boundaries which we have set for ourselves..and which is why... we aren't going beyond our capabilities due to many reason like lifestyle and stuff...

But on another hand...each person who have their own set of boundaries, also have a limitation which cannot be surpass. In other words, we may try to surpass our own set of boundaries, but when we try to surpass our own limitation...we are no longer our origin anymore... and same goes to anything... so, what's your origin? ( Bet most of the people don't understand what I'm talking anymore~ )

Well...I'm not quite good at talking...but I do think a lot =)


anyway I think I should go and sleep already..else fabian will come hammering my door again...
Ciao!~

Before I can step into the world of psychic... I have to know my own personal reality and knowing my willpower... by knowing both I should have my basic to 'will' the changes to my 'personal reality'... well, this is all theory and to be able to carry out is another question.. anyway I'm going to a endurance test to find my willpower~
But by entering the world of esper, it will be exposed you to something dark... well that's what other and internet says...

Cyriva have been a chore this few day's especially after having a good talk with jon and elizabeth...thought it would meant better for it seem to have a back-fire, well, bias or not I know myself well...this was original both your problems, I just want to know if you have know your own fault, then work things out~ some how it got into my problem for some reason hahaha probably I have been insensitive lately but that's because there are lot more matters to be done yet the club all are working and such... I should be using authority to get thing done soon...

Can't wait for me to learn Psychic and going to japan during my graduating year~
ciao!~

Well... Honestly I don't know why I'm like so bonded with the club itself when other doesn't even seem to bother anymore...coming to school almost everyday to plan, play and meeting even though it is holiday... well testimony isn't really what I want... I just wanna enjoy my poly life, what do you reckon?

Met up with advisor to pass my form for some nomination...and had a chat with linda.. we talk about lots of things about the club and FOP about getting more people and advertise to the graduates...asked about the club doing, reviewing and future plan as well as my personal well-being.. really, I think changing of advisor is a lost for Cyriva club...well I'm would still go back to club meeting to listen to meeting~ being nothing and getting involved also quite fun~

Somehow after talking with linda I felt like crying, but well, let it be and be strong that all I can say is that don't let it mess-up my mind now since this few weeks is very critical for me...I guess linda and the seniors do understand how I behave and handle problem/stress hahaha

The club just isn't caring enough to see whose around them needing help and just care about themselves and earning money and such...would they have the time?

This year I shall add a few more resolution... learn rock-climbing, diving and finish my driving license...

WELL!! I'm BURNT! and I mean literally burnt... sadly this time no photos cause no handphone is allowed so we will feel the full force of this camp..in other words full-contract commitment and it was only last minutes we know that we can bring camera..so very wasted that there isn't any photo-taking and such hahaha~

Well...appealingly I'm all red and burnt but~ I like!~ hahaha and I'm typing this while waiting for my hair to change color~

During Day 1, basically we did some Ice-breaking Games and getting ourselves warm-up and doing the planning before we head of to ubin for the next few days like sea-expedition and land-expedition In-charge(IC) trash, food, logistic and others ICs ...

Day 2, as we all know ubin have no drinkable water.. we had to fill up the 4 water can and Dromedary bags (we call it MSR, but bascially it's a water bag) and carry it over to ubin and around the land expedition with the MSR... and seriously no kidding.. our bag itself after cutting down on extras and plus-ing food and equipment... it weight over 30 - 40 Kg and if you carry a full-loaded MSR your total weight is + 10kg... The land expedition was estimated 9km but due to all the de-tour and 'lost' we surely traveled more than 10 or 13km already LOL... but what was lucky is that we didn't need to carry the 50kg of water can along with us... haha~
Head Back to camp site after the land expedition to wash-up, eat and had a planning for the next time activity sea-expedition and also a horrible night with ants fight LOL

Day 3, we have actually planned out activities and head-out time for today, as we have to catch-up with the rising tide.. we made a mess up breakfast and hurried to carry our boat to lunching spot and set-out slightly behind time but surprising and astonishingly we manage to travel fast as a group and covered halve the island within 2 hours, had a quick lunch in the sea and headed into the river and swam, oh did I mention about moving away from the illegal immigrate fence as we having our lunch? it was dangerous LOL~
When we enter the river, due to the rising tide, we was kind of carried into the depth of river at quite a fast pace...and said many lame joke about snake and craps LOL and of course stick at dead trees and having the problem of being capsize which would be the last thing you want it to happen.

Anyway the sea expedition was very smooth besides the sunburn and mass using of suntan and sun protection lotion cause it is freaking sunny and the scorching heat. The aftermath was really sticky, tired and exhausted... that is when a unplanned surprise was given to us...
we as asked to gather at the quarry and asked to jump into the quarry at first it was very tiring and reluctant cause your already wet, sticky and salty why would you wanna enter another round of water? BUT after we entered the quarry it was a whole entire different kind of experience it's not just refreshing, its ADDICTIVE ! SERIOUSLY! during that situation beside bathing in clean water there is nothing as refreshing as this quarry rain water... with the life-jacket in place there is absolutely but to have fun and enjoy while chatting with each other and washing our clothes and shoes!
The day ended off after we headed off to another camp site at Jelutong campfire site~ start cooking our meal, pitch tent and had a sharing session~~wonderful day~~

Day 4 which as yesterday or 15 hour 42 mins ago...
was all the clean-up, house-keeping...evaluation session and award ceremony for ourselves no fancy food, no nothing but a nice looking cert which will reminds me of this NYAA experience camp which was the most rewarding part...

And one more thing I said another lie this time that is... I took the role as sea-expedition leader and lied to everyone saying I have a 1 star kayaking... felt bad... but well things went well and I didn't screw up anything... =D and this camp I didn't speak much...that because I know... but don't want things to be too easy-way-out neither I want to keep sticking to the best method, I wanna see other combination of method as well...( you guys would just probably be saying that I'm bluffing... or anything but whether a not, it is either you take it or leave it =)
alright~ Nights everyone ! I should grab a handful of sleep now~