Bliss Filled InSaNiTy

I was thinking this morning, do you ever wonder what people think of you?

I'm not talking about when you worry about if you should change to be more like what people want (I'm 99% past that in my life). But I sometimes wonder if how people see me is how I think I am portraying myself. When I'm busy and running to and from things maybe my neighbors think I'm a maniac, but what I really hate is being late. When I'm tired, I act like a sass to my husband where I really just can't communicate well when tired. When I'm all business and being organized I may come across as a jerk, but I just hate wasting time, so I am being efficient. See what I mean? People will react to you and you know they didn't get what you were trying to

Speaking of changing, I've grown so much as a person since I was a teenager. Occasionally I will connect with friends that I used to hang out with often in my youth. When we talk, they often say that I have a sense of peace about me, and self confidence that I think usually comes with age. In my own brain I am COMPLETELY different than I used to be. But something interesting happened. I saw a Young Women leader that I had in my rougher years of youth. She of course knew me when she was an adult and therefore has a different perspective of teenage Rachel. She told me that I am EXACTLY the same as when I was a teenager. It goes to show that the essence of Rachel is still the same (sense of humor, mannerisms) but my heart has changed.

Sometimes I miss the old, carefree me that I used to be. But I wouldn't change the me now for anything. Talk to me in 10 years. I'm excited to see what I become!

Warm, gooey kisses right on the mouth from Mase.

Big boy G-man taking up my whole lap and giving gigantic hugs while saying I LOVE YOU...just when I need it.

The twinkle in Ikey's eye when he thinks he's gotten away with something.

Princess's intuitive nature and the fact that I love/hate that she can read me like a book. I love her fiercely and I hope she knows it.

A warm husband that allows me to be who I am. Everything that I am is safe in his heart.

Girl's night out! Being goofy and letting loose! I have such good friends. They make me better.

My extended family. They are so supportive and gracious, especially since they get a front row seat in seeing all my flaws.

A huge, toothless grin from Mase. It melts my heart every time.

My neighbors. I really have some of the nicest neighbors in the world.

The Book of Mormon. I'm still not a great reader, but I feel the Spirit so strong when I read that book.

Warm chocolate chip cookies! My favorite!!

Mario Kart! Seriously, I'm a little obsessed with the game. :)

The house when all the kids are in bed. The quiet. I need that more.






And finally, the power of the Atonement. My Savior who knows my every fear, desire, heartache, strength and weakness that I possess.

Well it's the new year. The time of year where we make resolutions, start fresh, turn over a new leaf and leave old habits behind. For me personally there are a couple landmarks to look forward to this coming year.

I will turn 30 *a smallish gulp here* in April
In June we will celebrate 10 years of marriage. I can hardly believe this one!


These were my goals for the last year. I think I did some of these fairly well, but I'm going to keep the same goals that I am working on for this next year also.


** Maintain a house of order
I've been incorporating Monday as my day to do major cleaning (Thanks Sonia for the suggestion). I've tried cleaning schedules where you do a little bit a day, but I am better when I get on a roll. Then other days I will spiff and shine.


** Connect with everyone in my house daily
As much as I complain about kindergarten being silly, where you go and get them as fast as you dropped them off, it has been good for my one on one. While G-man and Princess are gone in the morning I get to play and do things with Ikey. Then G-man gets home, we have lunch and I do homework and special time with him. In the evening when the boys go to bed, I connect with Princess and she really enjoys "staying up late" :)


** Daily scripture reading
I need to do this better. In the evening I am just so dang tired. BUT I don't want to wake up earlier than the kids...any suggestions?

** Two dates a month with my sweetie
We've been doing this OK. We need to be more creative and do things that are cheap. The temple is going to be one of them. I LOVE us time and need to guard it with my life.


** Exercise for a healthier me
I've been doing this in the morning and am currently doing 30 minutes and will move up the amount daily if my kids allow me :)


** Find a new passion
This is a hard one to quantify. I need ideas for learning something new that doesn't cost a lot of money. I'll think about this one and come back and edit later.


The greatest goal I have is to maintain a balanced life. It often needs rechecking and adjusting but I think I can do it!!

Speaking of another year older, Ben had a birthday this last week. We celebrated on multiple days with different activities. I appreciate my husband beyond words. His physical presence calms me. He is so helpful with the kids and usually very in tune with my needs. Emotionally there is nothing better than having an eternal companion that is selfless and puts his needs above my own. Spiritually he has taught me so much about being secure in my own testimony. He is so strong and I love discovering my spiritual potential with him by my side. Ben I love you SO much...Here's to another year!!