Blogging With Beth

I had the most unusual experience this last weekend. I can only describe it as a waking dream, and it was so vivid, emotional, and real I feel compelled to put it down in writing. Or typing.

I was sitting in Primary, enjoying a lovely talk during Sharing Time, when all of a sudden, I was walking along the concrete path to my Grandma's back porch door. I pulled on the screen door, which gave a familiar creak, and stepped up onto her enclosed porch. My feet must have been bare, because I could feel the cold gray linoleum. She had her big table all set for a casual family dinner. The table was covered with a vinyl cloth over the edge. I ran my hand along the ledge underneath the table and examined the offerings. There was potato salad in the big, heavy blue bowl with a flower made of cut vegetables on the top. (Grandma always makes things look as good as they taste, I thought). A relish tray with cut vegetables, pickles, and olives sat to the side. Her plastic Tupperware salt and pepper shakers were right in the middle of the table. Someone (maybe Christina?) had made fruit salad in the glass bowl. I stole a grape and looked around the room, to the floral chandelier above and the floating white curtains lining the bedroom on the other side of the porch. I made the big step into the kitchen and heard, "Hello, Beth!", as clear as if Grandma were right in front of me now. It seemed natural to open the cupboard next to the sink and pull out the plastic dishes and some silverware and put it out on the table, while I told Grandma about how church was and how our Primary kids were doing, how Hunter was almost asleep and Helena always brought her pink purse to church (even though she isn't feminine in the least!). She was glad that Hannah was able to stay in Nursery today by herself, without Dan.

And then I realized I needed to go back to Primary, and it was over. I haven't been to Grandma's since shortly after she passed away, but this Sunday, I was there - and so was she.

Occasionally I wonder if I'm doing everything I should be with my life, my time, and my energy. I consider whether I should be working outside the home, doing freelance writing, acting as an officer in the PTA, or joining the Disney Moms Panel. I think about whether my life as it is is worthwhile, if it is lived in so small a sphere. But then, Grandma's sphere was small, but her heart was enormous, and after all, that's the main thing.

Still might hit that Disney gig, though.

"There is no sister so isolated, and her sphere so narrow but what she can do a great deal towards establishing the Kingdom of God upon the earth.” - Eliza R. Snow