time really flies manx..it has been a week since i last came online. haha..an eventful n emotional week i muz say. cried qt a few times.. oops. muz really thank my frens who hv been there for me..love u guys! -hugs- =)
yest was aurora vi..haha..dunno wad's wrong with me..i cried in class during break again. guess i was feeling qt emotional lor..seeing co members gg to prepare n crap..haha..thanks sishan for being there for me..=)
reached SCH early n talked to the others..haha..the guys looked cute with make up on manx..so funny..=p oops..esp minchao, he looked so yao1 yan4..haha..i had to take a pic of him with makeup on..haha..took a lot of pics with a lot of ppl too..i juz love taking photos with my frens! =p
i was watching the concert instead of performing la..well..dun ask me y..long story..haha..but i felt so happy n proud when njco peeps walked on stage..like watching my own 'children' walk on stage tt kinda feeling..haha..the concert was ok la..po shui rocks! =) n minchao, gay khng n chingi were great!! so zai manx..haha..=)
well..yeah..another milestone for njco..n a new chapter in life.. the mugging chapter..-_- haha..oh yes..n thanks jun rou mummy for the blue rose!! so nice lor!! i love blue roses..=)
then this morning i brought my sis to rv for dsa entrance test n netball trials at rv..haha..so tired leh..gotta wake up so early lor..saw sylvia, mrs yeow, chen lao shi, mr ang, ms so n many more..haha..kinda miss rv..
manx..it's time to mug..but i cant conc n cant bring myself to mug lor..keep sleeping..oh no..i muz train myself to have more perserverance manx..haha..jiayou dajia!! n for those who r sad, cheer up n smile!! =) n for all my frens who're ever so caring n supportive, i love all of u to bits!! -muacks-* =)
|


manx. i hate unreasonable ppl, which sadly happens to be my parents. oh yes. n ppl who obviously know but are unwilling to help. oh well. harsh reality of life. =(
|


i'm tired. v v tired. dunno y today i can do math till i start crying de lor. i guessed i've bottled up my pek-chekness for too long le ba..then cant take it le. moreover everyone is getting so stressed now..indirectly i'm qt affected oso la. easy influenced? yeah. i guess tt's juz the way i am ba..haha..=X i'm beginning to develop a phobia n distaste for math after seeing the qns i dunno how to do..sighs. i really hope i can overcome this leh..i wanna do well in math!! sighs..muz try harder lor..overcome my sickening mentality..n i'm really thankful tt i've wonderful trs n friends who r ever so nice n supportive of me..really appreciate it ya? =)
i miss co..i miss my hu..i miss playing in an orch..sighs. i feel damn demoralised la..sianx.
|


i hate this world juz as it hates me. my parents constantly put me down till i've no confidence in myself at all alr. when i told them i needa come online to do research, they dun allow me. i said i wanna do assignments with the aid of the net, my dad say he doesnt care. no matter wad, he wont allow me to come online. he said i shld be preparing for my A's. no need to do assignments oso nvm. bloody hell. wad kinda absurd rubbish is that la. wa lao eh. i really had enough of u all de crap. if u dun understand me, which is apparently the case, then juz shut ur big mouth up la. i cant take it anymore. argH. i've lost all faith in this world alr..
16th july 2005 marks my last day for my involvement in the co arena. i came to an abrupt realisation that today's the end of my co career.
i reached sch late for co as usual..sighs. my bad habit la. forever late. when i went into the sanctuary, i saw someone give me the black face but i shall not say who izit here la. prac today was ok lor. zheng cheng gong was fun though tiring. yuchun came back today n gave us chocs n biscuits too. thanks girl!! how did u know i love the ritter-sport rum n raisin choc? lol. really made my day.
after co, tek wanted to see the few of us to talk abt results. i kinda expected it la. i was telling yr maybe he'll not allow me to go perform in the concert. well, i always tot my sixth sense was v accurate. i was absolutely correct abt it manx. tek said it's for my own good that he's doing this. yeah i know. but i cant help feeling sad la. i guess i've grown too attached to co alr despite the unhappy stuff. when i was walking out of the main gate alone, i couldnt help but cry ba. i didnt want anyone to see me cry la so i bit my lips n held back my tears when tek was talking. =( i feel like a crybaby, crying as i'm typing this..-sighs-
juz now yr msged saying that xianyue loves me..i cried again. =X really v touched lor..really love these ppl to bits..n everyone else in njco who has made a difference in my life. sighs..i feel like crying again..manx. i'm such a weakling. =(
i oso dunno wad else to say le. i'll always rem the good times..exco0304 de ri zi, concerts, syf, community performances, our ganging up against some ppl. haha. thanks for adding colours into my life. jiayou for concert k? i believe in u guys. =)
|


haha..i think the only lesson i enjoyed today is pe..volleyball is fun leh..=) haha..n it seems to me like there's someone pounding on my skull..it feels like it's gonna explode soon..-_-
i guess there are some things in life that one muz learn to accept..no matter how torturous it is. n sometimes coz u cant control wad others are thinking, there's no pt brooding over it..juz let things take their natural course ba..dun u agree? as long as u are content, u are happy..of course this doesnt apply to my studies!! or else sure die le..haha..muz work hard ahhh..sometimes i juz feel like digging a hole in the ground n hide from all worldly affairs. maybe i'll be happier then..bOo~
i dunno y..but it seems like my stomach has been fighting a fierce war these days..keep getting stomachaches for no reason at all lor..=X
tt durai is gone from nkf for good. thank goodness. that guy is.. i dunno how to describe. but after that time he came to nj to give a talk, a lot of us alr decided that we will not donate to nkf. n how dare he insult nj in front of nj trs n students?! oh well. some ppl r juz too conceited n r lacking in integrity. anw i really dun understand y some ppl complain so much abt _______ la.. i mean..it's kinda irritating la..hearing it from diff ppl on diff days. n even several times a day. or maybe my feelings are so insignificant that ppl do not bother abt it. wadever manx. =( i think sometimes having some tissue paper at hand is good. at least it can be stuffed into these ppl's mouths n shut them up. sounds like a gd idea eh? oh well. =)
oh yes. n i'm so irritated by my sis' new obsession with inuyasha. -_- ok..maybe i feel that way coz i've nv liked anime..i personally feel they're juz -_- stuff which so many ppl are crazy abt lor. nv liked comics oso. haha.. dunno la. i dun mind if she likes anime u know..but she plays the same old inuyasha songs everyday, plays them damn loudly, gushes abt inuyasha stuff all day, shows me lame pics, waste the printer's ink by printing pics of inuyasha which she stares at n gushes over everyday.. oh my. help me.. i'm going bonkers soon!!!! =(
arggghh. i juz hate it when ppl dun honour their promises..then when i forgive them, they think i'm easily bullied n break even more of their promises. u tell me..how am i ever supposed to believe them again? i really want to..but i cant bring myself to do it..wad if i get deceived again? wad if i get hurt again? nvm. dunno y i'm ranting so much today..-_- i feel like SCREAMING.
goodness. i think this is a super incoherent entry. forgive me manx. =p

isn't it sad if ur frens dun care abt u as much as u care for them? =(
|


Have u ever missed someone and felt
terrible
because u think tat he/she doesn't miss u?
Missing someone is a terrible but at the
same
time, sweet feeling. U will be sitting
around
wondering if u meant anything to
him/her. Thinking
if he/she ever cares about u. Rushing to
the phone
once it rings hoping that it's him/her.
Looking out
of the window hoping that he/she will
surprise u
by
appearing downstairs. Sitting in front of
the
television but thinking of her missing the
final
episode of your favourite show. Laying on
your
bed, thinking of the last time u went out
together.
Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under
the stars
again, talking about everything, your
dreams,
plans, future. Logging on to the internet
hoping to
seehim/her online. When u realise that
he/she
isn't online and did not return your page,
u will
start
worrying if he/she is okay. Missing
someone is a
way of growing up i guess. It exposes u to
loneliness. It teaches u how to cope with
being
lonely and let u know that there is
actually a
feeling known as emptiness. Sometimes it
feels
good to miss someone. U know that u
really care
and u indulge in the feeling of
loving/caring for
him/her. But missing someone and not
knowing if
he/she is feeling the same is terrible. U
feel as if u
are being left alone. So if u miss
someone, tell
him/her and let them know. At the same
time, ask
if they miss u. Don't let the feeling of
missing
someone become jealousy or paranoid. If
u are the
one being missed and u know it, let the
other party
know if u miss him/her too, tell them.
Don't let
them wait.

the above is so true rite? -sighs-
today's another long day..got back bio today..disastrous lor..the whole cohort no As n only got 6 Bs..the bio trs say they havent seen such terrible results b4 for the past 20++ yrs lor..omg. damn scary la. n dunno how many 'eggs' i've been seeing today..hope my results will have a stark improvement the next time round ah..da jia muz jiayou together!! dun be discouraged k...haha..i think i'm trying to convince myself too..=) haha..me gg to have my dinner le..today's is kinda early la..coz my mum not cooking then i bought back de ma..haha..my ban mian..here i come!! =p n i'm damn BORED!!!!!!!!! haha...-_-
|


today i'm super hYpEr!! i dunno y oso..weilin they all were saying that i forgot to take my medicine..bOo~ haha..actually i oso dunno y i'm so hyper la..though i'm qt tired n oso kinda disappointed with my compo results..it's like the comments of my essay were not bad la..but the results given is..erm..ya..u get the pt..nvm~
i kept laughing like mad today..the cca best prac display during civics period was funny manx..esp the wushu de..couldnt stop laughing..=p haha..
had co prac too..so suay today leh..bought soya bean milk n brought to dazu to drink..i only drank like ard 2 or 3 sips then i put the cup on the floor le..gay khng suddenly stood up..dunno y i had the feeling that he'll spill the drink..so i said "be careful!!" i think he didnt hear me then at that very moment, he accidentally kicked the cup..then..it spilled. oh no..-_- wad a scene. nvm..then at the end of dazu, i even got indirectly reprimanded lor..haha.. oh well. i'm not the only who spilled the drink b4..n dunno how many others got bring drinks into dazu de lor. haha.. maybe i'm juz damn unlucky la.
today choir ppl came oso..they were better than i expected..haha..in fact, i tot they were very good..esp the soloist..way to go girls! =)
i'm super tired. after a whole day of hyperactiveness. haha..still got tons of hw to do lor.. i'm getting kinda stressed up le...=X ahhhhh~ i needa destress!!!
|


today's another wet day..haha..now's the monsoon season meh? but it's july leh..haha..-weird- anw..it was a sleepy day again..maybe coz i slept late last nite ba..haha..
first thing in the morn was chem tut..then suddenly mr goh said he'll be giving back the chem cts paper..scary la..i dunno y i was so nervous when i heard that too. -sighs- i was thinking to myself: if i failed my chem this time again, i can juz go n knock my head against the wall n die le. haha. well. i barely passed. but at least i passed? i think i'm juz trying to console myself. i studied hard for my chem lor..n juz passed the paper..on the other hand, some ppl can dun study n still get the same result as u. ok lor. i dun have anything against these ppl..but i cant help but think y they're so lucky n wad's wrong with me manx. or maybe they are juz lying tt they didnt study. though i dun think so la. tsktsk. haha. oh well..i muz work much much much harder le..=X
today mrs che let us off early by ard 15mins during our bio prac lesson ma..then i put on my earphones n lay my head on my desk to rest lor..haha..i slept till mr tsang came in for math tut i still didnt know lor. i tot i heard mr tsang's voice when i was sleeping then i tot i was dreaming that he was scolding me for not doing my tut..oops..=p yuan lai i heard his voice coz he was alr starting to talk to the class. haha..oh well. i guess i was too exhausted le..=p
accompanied my sis to rv today to hand in the dsa application form..saw siqi, shichun, agnes n ziwei..then chat with them lor..so nice to see them leh..=)
anw my sis juz told me that my grandma is oso diagnosed with diabetes..oh no..i was dumbfounded lor..=X really hope everything will be fine n she'll get well soon ah..
i think human beings are complex creatures..haha..our feelings are..not understandable. oh no..i'm not making sense here..=p i cant help but constantly think of.. ahhhh~ n i think bena has a very weird but interesting logic..she say one must think a lot coz we musn't waste our brain cells that will die in 24hrs..do they really die in 24hrs? haha..tt's sad..=p haha..oh..n black canyon coffee de black crunch coffee is damn nice la..=) though qt ex..haha..
|


i've been very easily exhausted these few days..juz now when i was on bus 302, i accidentally knocked my head against the window pane when i was dozing off..-_- haha..last sat, i suddenly got the news that my maternal grandma was in hospital..really scared me lor..coz i'm qt close to her ba..hm..hope she'll get well soon..=)
studies are getting more n more stressful by the day too..as the prelims n A's are nearing..hOohOo~ n how can i study well if i cant conc coz i'm too tired? =X i still wanna go cycling..but seems like no one is free or has the mood to go..
today during civics had some arts prog thingy..i tot the paper stated in black n white that there was belly-dancing lor..cheat my feelings..in the end, there were only 3 guys who showed us n performed the diff types of drums for us to see..haha..=( it was interesting la..since i like the drum set..but it became qt boring aft a while lor..n not that i wanna say, i could detect the non-uniformity of beats of the 3 players who were supposed to play in harmony..tsktsk. haha..nvm. maybe i'm too critical of them le..=p maybe it's coz life is getting so mundane n boring nowadays that i'm trying to find sth interesting to entertain myself..bOo~ lolx..
|



RvCo xYz jnrs n snrs~ =)

hm..the past few days have been qt fun..n super tiring too.. haha..=) n i've been pang-sehed by some ppl these few weeks..kinda sick of it? maybe they do it coz they know i wont be angry de? wa..bully me..sucks lor..=( haha..y for brood over it..


syf showcase ticket..hahah..=)

thurs had syf showcase at SCH..i felt like i went there without much prep..heck la~ =p go there n play only ma..according to mr wong..haha..yenping was saying, "orh..go play ah? bring cards ok?" lolx..
talking abt cards, b4 we went to change into our costumes when we were back in nj, me, limiin, yanrong, weilin n yenping went to the sch crest there to play bridge..haha..when we first went there, we realised the guys were alr there..ard 7 or 8 of them alr happily playing cards..haha..the way they were standing n playing looked like they were having fun at a gambling den..=p mich, who claimed that she has quit gambling (haha..which i seriously doubt..hurhur..=p), was the gambling den 'boss'..haha..so funny leh..i think we laughed very loudly..or was it juz me?..haha..=) njco ppl are du3 gui3s..our tradition! v fun ma..bOobOo~ =p
not long after we reached SCH n settled down at the holding room, rvco ppl came into the room after they had performed on stage..ahhhh~ dunno y..i always feel happy seeing my jnrs~ i guess it's the sense of attachment to rvco ba..the co i'll always love..haha..=) my first instinct was to run to find them..it wasnt until i stopped running that i realised i juz ran with my long black skirt n court shoes on my feet..haha..so no xing2 xiang4..-_- i couldnt care so much la..haha..was excited to see my jnrs..=) saw siqi n shichun first..couldnt help but hug siqi..haha..4ever so cute de..=) went to talk to the sec4 xyz ppl..jackson was making a touching speech..made some of the girls cry..haha..it made me think of the days when i was leaving rvco officially when i was sec 4..i hid in the co room after dazu n really cried so badly..i practically refused to leave the room lor..bu she de ma..=X we did a "xianyue whooSh~" then screamed..haha..so aa..but who cares manx..coz we rock! =p i'll always hold my dearest memories of rvco close to my heart..coz they are the happiest times of my life..=)
hm..njco's performance on stage was kinda..erm..not v good..haha..a lot of unexpected stuff ba..like suddenly being deprived the chance of tuning b4 playing, huqins de gong having a lot of funny noises (haha..me n wenting nearly lol on stage lor..=p), pipa xian duan...haha..i know some ppl who watched our performance were qt critical but i guess it doesnt matter much anymore rite? haha..if some other sch ppl look down on us, then let it be. tt's their prob, not ours. haha..=) but honestly, i had fun on stage..no stage fright this time round..=) i was even talking on stage lor..haha..-bleahx- this time i juz went on stage, anyhow played (oops..=p) n enjoyed myself..hehe~
saw a lot of ppl at SCH tt day too!! =) haha..my jnrs, pearleen, nalan, shao, xiuqin, yx, wanying, didi, mei in law, yh, yitian, nico, edwin, jingyi, qiulin, lijia, zhang ting etc..haha..so fun!! i love meeting my frens ard..=) saw liu lao shi, huang lao shi n many others too..haha..n when i walked up the stairs, suddenly a girl wearing aj blazer looked at me n waved..haha..i couldnt recognise her at first..oops..but i still waved back la..=p ltr then i realised who she was..haha..paisehx..
i took qt a few pics tt day too..=) here r some of them..haha..


didi, mei in law n me..=)


RvCo xYz RoCkS! =)
|


today had syf showcase rehearsal at SCH today..saw so many ppl!! so excited leh..=) esp happy to see all the rvco jnrs, yitian, liu laoshi, mr lee, mr lum, huang lao shi etc..haha..i kept running ard the whole concert hall lor..finding ppl i know so tt can catch up with them..=p
the atmosphere in the concert hall today was super light-hearted..=) ppl were grinning n chatting with each other on the stage when performing lor..lolx. i think everyone was enjoying themselves..but the musical stds today weren't v good la..haha..diaox. ironic hor..when all these schs performing shld be the ' cream of the crop'..=p
took photos with the jnrs today too..then when njco was on stage, 5 of my jnrs who sat in a row at the audience seats were waving to us..ahaha..so cute leh..=) koped some food n water from rvco too..haha..huang lao shi was saying, "rvco alumni ppl can eat wadever u all want.." so generous..haha..thanks leh..=) i suddenly had tt shou4 chong3 ruo4 jing1 de feeling..=)
looking fwd to thurs' concert..but not looking fwd to getting back results..haha..
|


woOohOo~ today had co prac..qt happy..=) haha..think coz i'm super deprived of music for too long le..=p our damo n po shui sounded ok only la..haha..but still better than what i expected it to be..haha..anw i nearly was super late for prac today..woke up at 805am when prac was at 930..haha..-_- i missed my hu manx..
i think the great sg sale fever is beginning to come over me le..haha..since i started shopping yest with jiayan, shao n mel, i've been craving to go do more shopping..dunno wad's my prob oso..haha..now i kinda understand wad yx told me abt being addicted to shopping n buying stuff..=p but sadly i'm super broke lor..cant buy much oso..haha..but shopping is fun! madness siax~
yay!! next tues is the syf display de rehearsal le..i'm v v excited!! =p haha..excited to see everyone..yayyay!! lalala~ rvco muz jiayou k? show the world wad we're made of!! =p haha..manx..i'm b0nkers..cya!! =)
|