dun ever attempt to fool me coz u'll end up being utterly disappointed. dun make empty promises if u cant fulfill them. even simple things like if u promise to call at 11pm, call at ard 11pm..or the least thing u can do is to say u wont be calling. isnt that basic courtesy? at least u wont keep the person from staying up just to wait for ur call.
and i dunno anything!! dun ask me.. i'm troubled n stressed enough alr.
hm..thanks daph for the constant encouragement n for rendering patient listening services. haha..really appreciate it lots! sorry tt i constantly think too much manx. oops~ haha..=)
anw this afternn, i was super enthu abt my work..for reasons i cant comprehend myself. lol. i was super duper friendly with the callers..n i was even praised by one caller that "it's so rare that ppl are so friendly over the phone"..i was practically chatting with her alr lor..haha..=)
i juz came back frm melbourne last saturday nite..the weather at melbourne was kinda erratic..haha..sunny but with cold wind..on fri, it was scorching hot coz it was 34 degree celsius. but on sat, there was heavy rain and even a few minutes of hail. lol. mad manx..haha..
life there is kinda relaxing..slightly slower paced then sg..i went for some visitations at my dad's fren's hse, went to look ard at the unis, shopped etc..yups~
oh ya...n i juz hate plane food! omg~ so unpalatable. haha..oops~
oh manx. tml is judgement day. the day my fate will be sealed. i'm darn scared!! =x hopefully everything will turn out fine..-prays hard- and thanks a million to all those who wished me good luck..i really need it manx! good luck to everyone else too! take care ppl! n see u guys tml! =)
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hahahahaha..some ppl are juz liddat. we cant blame anyone rite? oh well.
if u dun wanna ask for help, then dun complain. if u dun trust us to do it, then too bad lor. haha. even better. then i'll be more free. =) but dun attempt to boss me ard. i wont give a damn manx. i juz dun like it that when some ppl need me then suck up to me. if not, they treat me as if i'm invisible. shit manx. i'm human too la. i have feelings de k? dun try to sweet-talk me into believing ur crap. i wont buy ur story manx. i've had enough and that's it.
wednesday. the day my fate will be sealed. sian. i'm damn scared la..=x good luck everyone..haha..i'm trying to console myself too..haha..
and really thanks a lot to all those who have stood by me..comforting me and giving me strength to be happy..love you guys! =)
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life is sad. someone i consider to be my good friend jing4 ran2 turned out to be a devil in an innocent and pretty facade. nevermind abt the things u said or promised. i think u've cleanly forgotten abt all of them. well. i have to say a big thank you to you, coz u made me see the ugliness of this world once again. to you, it's ren2 bu4 wei4 ji3, tian1 zhu1 di4 mie4 rite? i'm not surprised. coz the person is you. ppl have warned me to be wary but i chose not to heed their advice coz u're my fren. i believed you would nv do anything to hurt my fragile feelings. but you did. i really do not know what to say alr. the feeling of betrayal sucks. but i'll keep it to myself and try to believe that nothing of this sort happened. it's just difficult to be truly happy anymore. shit manx.

anw will update on my trip soon..=)

maybe friendship does not mean anything to some ppl at all..
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these few days has been a bit better..i guess i've learnt how to let go slowly le..which is good i reckon. haha..though i'm feeling a bit better mentally..but physically i'm feeling worse lor..now i keep coughing non-stop..shit manx. =x tml gg aussie for a week le still liddat..scarly they ask me to wear a mask on the airplane lor..=X haha..
k la..gotta go church now..meanwhile..take care peeps! =)
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will update soon..haha..but for now..take care everyone! =) and hope all those who r sick like me..pls recover soon! yups~ lol.
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today was another tiring day at work..with tt big one coughing non-stop in such close proximity was really torturous..feeling her breath down my neck was really disgusting..=X now..i'm sick again..oh manx. it's back. again. coughing non-stop. difficulty swallowing stuff coz of the terribly painful sorethroat..-sighs- it juz sucks manx. i cough till even my ears are painful alr lor. n i'm being scolded by my parents for being sick. u think i like being sick meh? =( so understanding. -_- n they claim i'm doing an easy job at the call ctr. ok lor. wadever u say. shit manx.
i'm juz so troubled these days over everything..everything is juz not right! i cant say anything here..or rather i dun dare to..so the only thing i can do is to keep everything to myself..n run to the toilet everytime i have the urge to cry. i'm a coward la. i dun dare to face reality. i didnt expect things to turn out this way! i tot she promised that it'll nv happen? wad a deception. i feel damn cheated manx. all i can do is act as if nth happened, smile n act happy. woOohOo~ wish me luck manx..but i feel damn tortured when i smile..oh manx..so shitty.
as usual, vday was a sian diao day. haha. no date as usual lor. unwanted manx. hahahaha..
nowadays sometimes when i'm doing sth, i'll juz suddenly feel so restricted.. erratic mood swings manx. i think i needa relax. rid myself of everything. but how to?! wa lao..and can my parents stop quarrelling for a minute?! i need peace!! n everytime my dad is pissed, he'll beat me. shit him. he juz beat me again. i really had enough of everything! i hope i still can tahan. wa lao eh.

i finally understand how cruel life is. it's so ironic and shitty. God help me. i seriously need some comfort.
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haha..so many ppl are on leave today! other than emily, i think i'm the only temp staff left in the whole call ctr la..lol. was doing almost everything today..haha..but luckily today dun have so many faxes ah..or else i think i'll faint first..lol.
had aerobic dance classes with vic, jiewei n yingxiu 2 days ago..haha..the class was qt fun manx..think coz i haven exercised in a while..haha..so am kinda aching all over now lor..lol. =p
i'm freezing in the office now manx..even with a sweater now lor..-bRrRr~- i cant even write properly la..coz my fingers have frozen alr..haha..
oh ya..n congrats to all those that attained good results for o's..=) i'm really happy for all of u manx..=) then at the same time scared abt my own results that will be released very soon too..omg. i am damn scared la..-sighs- i oso hope i'll be a happy girl on that day manx..-prays hard- but for now, i'm still trying very hard not to think too much abt it first..hopefully chuan2 dao4 qiao2 tou2 zi4 ran2 zhi2 lor..haha..
my fingers are too frozen to type any longer le..shall stop here. lol. have to go n thaw my fingers first..=p take care everyone!! love u all! =)
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haha..today was qt a fun but sucky day at work. kinda contradicting la.
got scolded by a few unreasonable callers today..wa kao eh! they scolded me for being ill-treated in the ward, for the hospital's policies, for the doctors being fully booked, for someone sending a letter to them with the wrong info..is that any of my probs?! i feel like slapping those callers la. i was so pissed n pek chek that i nearly cried. argh. i really felt like juz pressing that "release" button and poof! the line would be cut off immediately. then i will be free of those irritating asses.
other than that, the day was still qt ok..haha. wing's damn funny! haha..then that yuting keep suaning me non-stop everyday la..-_- that guy ah..haha..emily's new son-in-law! haha..jk la~ nearing dismissal time, i was talking to ervin ma..haha..then he kenna by bl. lol. daph called me then breathed heavily into the phone la..i tot it was who..haha..lame girl..but qt funny la..=p actually everyone in the office is nice la..haha.
hm..i think it really feels so good to let everything out. to juz say wad u feel n everything. i juz feel so happy to have someone agreeing with me..oh manx. thanks for all the concern everyone of u have shown me..really appreciate it lots! i'm kinda sick n tired of having to swallow my feelings everytime..it juz feels terrible!! sianz..but wad other option do i have rite? some things juz cant be said to anyone, isnt it? =( hm..thanks daph for the advice yest..kor for being there for me..for listening to me su4 ku4..barry for asking me if i'm ok n explaing the logic behind things..clare for lending a listening ear..n many others too..i dunno wad i'll do without u guys lor..i really feel that life sucks..some ppl juz get everything they wish to get..while some are juz the opposite. isnt it sad? oh well~ wad can i do manx..ren2 zai4 jiang1 hu2, shen1 bu4 you2 ji3..=(
anw good luck to all those getting their o's results this fri!! siqi, xinni, ervin, yuting, sylvia, jackson, beeying, kelly, kaili, nalan, lay sze, shuzhen n many others too..jiayou ppl!!
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hm..i think humans shld be contented. i have nth to say alr. i'm scared. i dun wanna know my results. i dun wanna face reality so quickly. life sucks. i really hope i'll survive this ordeal. damn. ignorance is really bliss manx. -faints- i feel terrible..physically. mentally. everything la. y did i land myself in such a situation..omg~ shit manx. life is a pile of faeces. i wanna have a way out of all this shit. i've alr wasted too much time. i cant afford to waste even more of precious time. damn. wad am i to do?? =(
unfair, unfair, unfair!! argh~ y do some ppl just have everything and is darn uncontented? complain and complain all day without giving a damn abt other ppl's feelings? so insensitive leh..sian..wa lao eh. back off la!

alone. deserted. screwed. unwanted. but still praying very very hard for a better tml..-kneels down and pleads-
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i'm so tired!! darn. today there were so many calls at the call ctr!! -faints- so many q-calls! ppl were all calling like nobody's business la..-_- dunno y..but i juz feel so restless and sian diao today..dun feel like taking calls..dun feel like doing anything. juz plain sian lor. maybe it's the post-hols blues. lol. hopefully tml ppl will have mercy on us and call less! tolong tolong..haha..
went to liu lao shi and mr lum's houses to bai nian yest with rvco peeps..thanks bena for telling me..=) haha..qt fun..liu lao shi's 4 little sons are so adorable!! aWwWwWw~ haha..n mr lum kept asking us to eat, eat n eat..haha..stupid nalan n lay sze laughed at me when i was eating the cuttlefish..lol. =p we oso played blackjack..haha..qt fun! haha..my hands are itchy again..feel like playing..hahaha..
anw heard that mrs che has a donor alr..thank God! i'm so happy for her lor..=) really hope she'll fully recover soon!
manx..i keep coughing non-stop leh..super xin ku..now that i've finished all my med given by the polyclinic doc, i'm taking my sis's n my dad's medicine lor...hopefully will get well asap manx. i'm coughing till my chest is a bit pain alr la..=X
some ppl are juz lidat lor..wad to do? lol.
and thanks for all my dearest frens who are always there for me..love u guys to bits!~ =)

praying for a better tml..
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