Long Thoughts

These couple of days i've been thinking alot..
When i'm alone in the bus on the way home and wherever it is..

I've been in darkness all along... ever since 5-6 years ago when something happened which i never wanted it to happen.. I've blamed myself for it.. throwing myself into dispair and destroying my life as it seems.. I've been so afraid of doing many things due to that incident.. the pain i felt.. it was really unbearable.. i havent really been able to open up to much people.. i thank God for giving me friends which would go through thick and thin with me.. always helping me when i was down and being there for me..
Through all these darkness i saw light.. that light was you.. You came into my life shining brightly.. You being in my life was a gift from god.. one that i will always treasure and hold dear to my heart.. This was first time in 5-6 years that i really felt that i was needed by somebody.. someone who i could talk to.. show my love to..bring out all that emotions, love and care which was buried deep inside my heart which was locked behind thick iron bars and chains.. This jail was broken the day i met you.. allowing me to once again show love and care for people around me..

I've been thinking back.. Those times when i seem to follow you around sometimes.. maybe cause i didnt want to lose sight of the light and the peace in my heart that u bring.. whenever ur around i just cant bring myself to feel sad.. Somehow or another i really liked that feeling.. Its also probably cause i love you.. thus seeing u unhappy, sad or stressed it somehow made me sad too.. but when u smile.. everything else just goes away like the brightening up of day.. funny aint it.. aniways.. i just want you to be happy always.. smile always.. cause it would make everything all worth the while.. it doesnt matter whatever happens to me.. all that matters now in my life is you(studies are of a side note), all my best friends equivalent to my brothers and sisters and also probably my real life brother who understands me and helps me alot through life..

If it is meant to be.. nothing can stop it from happening..
All i ever wished for.. was for you to be happy always..
Everything was all Planned out for me.. my life my everything..
I've also been thinking what should i do after i graduate from poly..
And after getting out of army..
To stay or not to stay in singapore.. a place with many memories
Painful or Happy..
If when i get out of army.. and really think that theres nothing that will keep me in singapore..
I've plan to travel overseas to do my degree and prolly work over there..
Most likely not coming back to singapore again.
Then again.. If there was something that will keep me in singapore.. i will stay or come back..
Ill leave it all to destiny.. cause it has all been planned out for me.. i may fight it but it will depending on the situation.