We had lots of fun : ) Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO6YMBtAn_4
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Home with Sawyer
It's been a week since we got to bring little Sawyer home. He is such a good baby. He rarely cries or spits up. He eats so much too!! I still get emotional about things but hearing how Lauren, Jason, and her family are doing brings me some peace. I think about them all the time. I am so glad she has so much support from lots of people, esp. her parents. That makes a world of a difference. Lauren has a wonderful mom and dad that love her so very much. I have known her mom for many years and got to know her pretty well. She is very talented in many ways and has taught me a thing or two : ) I admire her in so many ways.
When we gave Sawyer his first bath, he didn't like it very much. That really is the only time he cries. Today when I gave him a bath he was crying and when I turned around, all the dogs had migrated to the bathroom to see what was going on. The dogs are getting used to Sawyer more each day. I sensed a little jealousy at first but now they are starting to accept him as their own.
Brett likes reading to Sawyer and Sawyer pays close attention to the colorful pages. Here he is reading a book called "My New Boy".
For Sawyer's one week birthday, Brett and I got him a new all-terain radio flyer wagon for him and his pal Bruiser to cruise in. It was kinda chilly outside so we just pulled them around in the house.
We took Sawyer to meet his Great-Grandmother Joy yesterday. She is my Mom's biological mother. While we were there we found out that Sawyer's Great-Great Grandmother is still alive and local. I didn't even know that. He also met another Aunt Sharon and Uncle Jeff and some cousins. Him and his Uncle Jeff share a birthday. Sawyer is getting so much attention from everyone.
Last night his Aunt Lindsey and Cousin Knox of his flew in from Tennessee to meet him.
(Here is Cousin Knox and Great-Grandma)
Brett and I are bonding more and more with Sawyer each day. We love him so incredibly much and we are just so happy to finally be parents.
Nap time at the Frandsen's.
Oh yea, one more thing, we went to Grandma's to play some games and when I went to change Sawyer's diaper, his belly button cord had fallen off. Now he can take a real bath!! Sawyer seamed to like playing games too.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Becoming a Mommy : )
This week has been by far the most amazing week of my life. This is the week I became a mother. Not just anyones mother, Sawyer Jonus's mommy. When I decided to be a mother I never thought it would be this wonderful.
I feel extremely lucky that Sawyer's birthmom was so willing to share his birth with me. I realize that lots of adoptive mothers don't get that opportunity so I am so thankful for her. She was in labor for many hours and when the time came for Sawyer to meet the world she let me witness it. Along with me was Sawyer's birth father and his birth grandmother. I felt so helpless seeing her in pain. I wish I could have taken the pain for her so she wouldn't have to. I had tears streaming down me cheeks the whole time. When he came I went to the other side of the room to get a camera when all of a sudden I heard my name being called. I turned around to the doctor handing me a pair of scissors to cut the cord. That meant so much to me that Lauren and Jason chose me to do that. (Oh man I can't even write this without crying.) I felt so included and honored.
When I saw little Sawyer for the first time I wept. He was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I felt so undeserving of this little body in front of me. He had big eyes and lots of hair. He had the cutest little cry. I counted all his fingers and toes and watched the hospital staff do their job. They told his birth mom that she would get 2 bracelets that match the one on Sawyer's ankle that would give people total access to him. One was for her and the other was for someone else. She gave it to me. The fact that she would give it to me was so sweet. I was honored to wear it. I watched them weigh and measure him and takes his little footprints. He didn't cry much but his big eyes wandered everywhere. He was curoius to see his new surroundings.
Lauren held him first, then Jason, then me. When Lauren held him you could she in her eyes how proud she was. I watched how she looked at him and I could feel the love she felt for him so strongly. Her smile was so big.
Brett held him next. He was so filled with joy. Watching him hold his son for the first time was absolutly priceless. Sawyer looked directly into Brett's eyes trying to figure out who this person was. Some of Sawyer's grandparents and Aunt passed him around nest. Everyone that held Sawyer that day felt the joy we did in different ways. Sawyer put many smiles on peoples faces that day. That room was so filled with love and a spirit I can't explain.
I feel extremely lucky that Sawyer's birthmom was so willing to share his birth with me. I realize that lots of adoptive mothers don't get that opportunity so I am so thankful for her. She was in labor for many hours and when the time came for Sawyer to meet the world she let me witness it. Along with me was Sawyer's birth father and his birth grandmother. I felt so helpless seeing her in pain. I wish I could have taken the pain for her so she wouldn't have to. I had tears streaming down me cheeks the whole time. When he came I went to the other side of the room to get a camera when all of a sudden I heard my name being called. I turned around to the doctor handing me a pair of scissors to cut the cord. That meant so much to me that Lauren and Jason chose me to do that. (Oh man I can't even write this without crying.) I felt so included and honored. 
When I saw little Sawyer for the first time I wept. He was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I felt so undeserving of this little body in front of me. He had big eyes and lots of hair. He had the cutest little cry. I counted all his fingers and toes and watched the hospital staff do their job. They told his birth mom that she would get 2 bracelets that match the one on Sawyer's ankle that would give people total access to him. One was for her and the other was for someone else. She gave it to me. The fact that she would give it to me was so sweet. I was honored to wear it. I watched them weigh and measure him and takes his little footprints. He didn't cry much but his big eyes wandered everywhere. He was curoius to see his new surroundings. 
Lauren held him first, then Jason, then me. When Lauren held him you could she in her eyes how proud she was. I watched how she looked at him and I could feel the love she felt for him so strongly. Her smile was so big. It was also beautiful watching Jason hold him. I could see how proud he was also. Sawyer looks so much like him so I wonder if it was like looking at a mini him when he held him. I was fillming all of this so Sawyer can see it for himself someday. I want him to see and know the love his birth parents have for him always.
When it was time for me to hold him, I just balled my eyes out. He was absolutly precious in every way. I experienced a new kind of love that I had never experienced. My heart was so full of love and I thought it was going to explode. I was holding an answer to thousands of prayers and an end to all my pain and suffering. I was holding the future and that sad past had just been washed away in an instant. He was so worth the wait. He looked at me with those big brown eyes and I felt his love. I felt his trust in me to take care of him and love forever. While holding him everything just made sense...finally. It was clear to me that this is the way it was supposed to be all along. Lauren and Jason are such wonderful people I wouldn't doubt if they agreed to do this for us in our pre-existance. They gave Brett and I the gift we could not give each other. What a special gift!
Brett held him next. He was so filled with joy. Watching him hold his son for the first time was absolutly priceless. Sawyer looked directly into Brett's eyes trying to figure out who this person was. Some of Sawyer's grandparents and Aunt passed him around nest. Everyone that held Sawyer that day felt the joy we did in different ways. Sawyer put many smiles on peoples faces that day. That room was so filled with love and a spirit I can't explain. For the rest of that day, Brett and I left the hospital so Jason and Lauren could have some time alone with him which is perfectly understandable. That gave us a chance to do some final preparations for his arrival home. We got some little sentimental gifts for Lauren and Jason. That night Brett and I also wrote them letters. It's so hard to try to express your grattitude for something of this magnitude. Brett and I will always feel inadequate for not being able to repay them for the wonderful gift they have given to us.
The following day we went back to the hospital and we were given our own room. I got to feed little Sawyer and it felt so nice. I also got to change his poopy diaper which wasn't so nice! Lauren let me make all of Sawyer's medical decisions such as vaccines, circumcision, etc. One thing that I remembered so well is when Jason let me hold Sawyer and called me his mommy. That felt so good to hear. I could also see that Lauren and Jason were genuinely happy for us. I really didn't want to cause them pain by being around them much because I thought that seeing us would be painful and a reminder of what was to come the next day. I wanted them to enjoy their time with him without us being a distraction. However, I was wrong. They were happy and supporative for us. They liked seeing Sawyer with us. That meant a lot to us. That night Brett and I spent a lot of time with Jason and Lauren alone. I loved that. We talked for hours and just got to really know each other better. We read them our letters and just could feel that they were as grateful for us as we were for them. We talked about the future and hopes for Sawyer. Jason has a love for cooking and has agreed to make Sawyer his first birthday cake. We could not have asked for more perfect birth parents.
On the last day, Sawyer's Aunte Ana brought him a cake and we celebrated Sawyers arrival. We had some friends come and take some cute pictures. As the day went on I could sense sadness coming. Brett and I went to our room and gave them some alone time with Sawyer. While we were in our room I just started crying so hard. I have felt a lot of pain in my life. Having my father die wasn't easy by any means but somehow this was just as painful. I can honestly say I have never in my life felt pain so strongly for another human being. I just knew how hard this had to be for Lauren and Jason and the thought of them hurting was killing me inside. They aren't just Sawyer's birthparents, they are 2 people that we love and respect so much. I had already seen Lauren in so much pain in childbirth and I knew her signing the adoption papers would be more pain. I didn't want her to have anymore pain. I know that she did it all out of love for Sawyer. The love she has for him is so strong and unbreakable. Not many mothers and fathers would do that for their child. I was feeling so guilty, like I was the cause of their pain. I love Sawyer's whole package and that includes the people that gave him life yet I felt like I was the one causing their pain. I was going to get to finally be the happiest I have ever been but at the expense of someone elses happiness. It just didn't seem fair. I talked to the social worker at the hospital and she told me that all those feeling I had were totally normal.
When the time came for me and Brett to sign the papers, we had been told by the social worker that Lauren and Jason could either leave the baby in the nursery and leave the hospital or bring him to us personally. Shortly after we signed them, Lauren, Jason, and Lauren's mother came to our room to bring baby Sawyer. I knew they wouldn't just leave him in the nursery and they didn't. There were lots of tears but no good-byes, just see-ya laters. Lauren picked him up out of his bassinet, her and Jason kissed him, and then handed him to me with tears in their eyes. When they handed him to me I was so overwhelmed with grattitude. I thought back through the past few days and was so grateful for the whole experience. They didn't have to let me in the room for Sawyer's birth, but they did. They didn't have to let me cut the cord, but they did. They didn't have to give me a baby armband, but they did. They were so unselfish through this whole experience and I can't thank them enough.
It's been 5 days since Sawyer's arrival and he is home with us. Brett is holding him right now and we finally feel like a family. Sawyer is the most loved and wanted baby in the whole world. We sometimes just stare at him in unbelief that he is actually here with us. We love this little guy so much and want to cherish every moment. I film everything so I can always remember it and share it with Lauren and Jason. We love it when he smiles at us and when he sleeps. We love feeding him and yes we even love the poopie diapers. We love his hair and his little button nose. We love his long toes and his cute little hands. When I hold him I like him to hold onto my pinkie finger.
I am so grateful for adoption and all the love and support from everyone. Through this whole process there was conformation after conformation that this was the right path for us. I have learned so much from this about love, life, compassion, forgivness, selflessness, and faith. I know the best way we can pay Lauren and Jason back for this selfless act is to raise Sawyer to be a wonderful young man and make them proud. We will try our absolute best. I love you Lauren and Jason. Thanks for taking the road less traveled with us.
If you would like to see Sawyer's story from his birth parents side here it is. Leave them some good comments : )
http://www.adoptionadventuresjl.blogspot.com/
If you would like to see Sawyer's story from his birth parents side here it is. Leave them some good comments : )
http://www.adoptionadventuresjl.blogspot.com/
Friday, November 13, 2009
Adoption is all about love.
The day finally came and I thought it never would. I am going to try to answer all the questions I've been asked over these past few days the best I can. First off I want everyone to know the purpose of this blog is to educate people on the wonderfulness of adoption. Sawyer's birth mom and I feel very passionately that God has led us to each other for many reasons and one being to share our experience with others that may have misunderstandings or negative views of adoption. My blog is open to the world and we hope that maybe we can help a young girl who may be contemplating abortion because she feels there are no other options for her. We figure if we can save at least one babies life, then all this is worth it.
Adoption is all about love. Adoption is also not how it used to be. Lauren and I have decided to do an open adoption over a closed one. The adoption agency we worked through are doing less and less closed adoptions because they found open adoptions to be more beneficial to everyone involved. Closed adoption is when the birth parents sign over their rights with out every meeting their childs new adopted parents and agree to never see the child again. Open adoption is a plan in which the birth parents and adopted parents form a relationship and the birth parents will still be in the childs life. They may not see the child every day but they will get updates, pictures, and videos often and even see the child every now and then. The amount of contact between all the parents is established by them and based on what feels comfortable for everyone. Open adoption has been proven beneficial to help the birth parents and the child because it doesn't leave anybody wondering what if or why and provides closure.
Brett and I wanted to do an open adoption from the very beginning of our journey. We didn't want our child to have any question of why he was placed for adoption or wonder what his birth parents were like. We wanted him to have closure and peace of mind getting answers to all his questions. We attended an adoption conference recently that had a panel of birth mom tell their experiences. All of them did an open adoption and all of them were very much at peace with their decision and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I asked some of them if they regretted their decision and all of them quickly responded 'No, not at all." They knew they couldn't raise their baby they would have liked to and they wanted a better life for their baby. One girl knew that in order for her to raise her child she would have to put her child in day care all day so she could work to support her. The thought of that sickened her. She wanted her child to be raised by 2 loving parents that would give her baby the life he/she deserved. Some people view adoption as an easy way out but in reality it isn't at all.
In order to adopt a child, potential adoptive parents have to be thoroughly interviewed by social workers, have a home study, background checks, FBI fingerprinted, complete medical screening, adoptive parenting conferences,etc. Not just anyone is a good candidate to adopt a child. Brett and I spent about a month filling out paperwork and doing our screenings. They not only want to know about your life but all of your extended families lives also. Another thing you have to do is to create a profile for birthmothers to see. I didn't have to make one because I already knew my birthmother and so it wasn't necessary. Once the adoptive parents are chosen and the birth parents relinquish their rights, the adoptive parents still don't get parental rights. When Lauren and Jason signed over their rights, they signed Sawyer over to the agency. Brett and I are on probation for 6 months after the papers are signed. The agency will come do several check on us to make sure we are bonding with Sawyer and everything is going ok. After 6 months, Brett and I will hire an attorney to finalize the adoption in court and the agency will sign Sawyer over to us. That will be when we can get his name changed and get his social security number and such. Many people have asked me how much everything costs. It all depends on the agency and race of child you are wanting to adopt. I know that sounds crazy. At some agencies, sawyer would have cost anywhere from 30-45 thousand dollars. The agency we used was one a non-profit agency through our church so we were able to get it for a lot less expensive. Since our church does not have a paid ministry, all the tithes goes directly to building churches, helping the needy, adoptions, etc. The fee for our adoption was 10% of our previous years gross earnings and no greater than $10,000. So, even if your a billionaire, the adoption would only cost $10,000 max. The agency pays for all of Laurens medical bills, hospital stay, ect. Anything that has to do with her and the baby they will pay for. If there are complication with the baby after he is born before Lauren relinquished her rights, the adoption agency would pay for his bills; thank goodness he was so healthy : ) Some baby's have cost the agency many many thousands of dollars. If a birthmother changes her mind and decided to parent the child, she would not have to repay the agency a dime. They also provide birthmothers with attorneys if they want one when signing papers free of charge. The birth parents have to wait 48 hours after birth before they can relinquish their rights but once they sign the papers, there is no turning back.
I will write a new blog soon about our hospital experience. It was so spiritually beautiful. I discovered a new type of love for so many people. Keep your comments and questions coming. I will be glad to answer them. Now my son is waking up and needs his momma : )
Adoption is all about love. Adoption is also not how it used to be. Lauren and I have decided to do an open adoption over a closed one. The adoption agency we worked through are doing less and less closed adoptions because they found open adoptions to be more beneficial to everyone involved. Closed adoption is when the birth parents sign over their rights with out every meeting their childs new adopted parents and agree to never see the child again. Open adoption is a plan in which the birth parents and adopted parents form a relationship and the birth parents will still be in the childs life. They may not see the child every day but they will get updates, pictures, and videos often and even see the child every now and then. The amount of contact between all the parents is established by them and based on what feels comfortable for everyone. Open adoption has been proven beneficial to help the birth parents and the child because it doesn't leave anybody wondering what if or why and provides closure.
Brett and I wanted to do an open adoption from the very beginning of our journey. We didn't want our child to have any question of why he was placed for adoption or wonder what his birth parents were like. We wanted him to have closure and peace of mind getting answers to all his questions. We attended an adoption conference recently that had a panel of birth mom tell their experiences. All of them did an open adoption and all of them were very much at peace with their decision and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I asked some of them if they regretted their decision and all of them quickly responded 'No, not at all." They knew they couldn't raise their baby they would have liked to and they wanted a better life for their baby. One girl knew that in order for her to raise her child she would have to put her child in day care all day so she could work to support her. The thought of that sickened her. She wanted her child to be raised by 2 loving parents that would give her baby the life he/she deserved. Some people view adoption as an easy way out but in reality it isn't at all.
In order to adopt a child, potential adoptive parents have to be thoroughly interviewed by social workers, have a home study, background checks, FBI fingerprinted, complete medical screening, adoptive parenting conferences,etc. Not just anyone is a good candidate to adopt a child. Brett and I spent about a month filling out paperwork and doing our screenings. They not only want to know about your life but all of your extended families lives also. Another thing you have to do is to create a profile for birthmothers to see. I didn't have to make one because I already knew my birthmother and so it wasn't necessary. Once the adoptive parents are chosen and the birth parents relinquish their rights, the adoptive parents still don't get parental rights. When Lauren and Jason signed over their rights, they signed Sawyer over to the agency. Brett and I are on probation for 6 months after the papers are signed. The agency will come do several check on us to make sure we are bonding with Sawyer and everything is going ok. After 6 months, Brett and I will hire an attorney to finalize the adoption in court and the agency will sign Sawyer over to us. That will be when we can get his name changed and get his social security number and such. Many people have asked me how much everything costs. It all depends on the agency and race of child you are wanting to adopt. I know that sounds crazy. At some agencies, sawyer would have cost anywhere from 30-45 thousand dollars. The agency we used was one a non-profit agency through our church so we were able to get it for a lot less expensive. Since our church does not have a paid ministry, all the tithes goes directly to building churches, helping the needy, adoptions, etc. The fee for our adoption was 10% of our previous years gross earnings and no greater than $10,000. So, even if your a billionaire, the adoption would only cost $10,000 max. The agency pays for all of Laurens medical bills, hospital stay, ect. Anything that has to do with her and the baby they will pay for. If there are complication with the baby after he is born before Lauren relinquished her rights, the adoption agency would pay for his bills; thank goodness he was so healthy : ) Some baby's have cost the agency many many thousands of dollars. If a birthmother changes her mind and decided to parent the child, she would not have to repay the agency a dime. They also provide birthmothers with attorneys if they want one when signing papers free of charge. The birth parents have to wait 48 hours after birth before they can relinquish their rights but once they sign the papers, there is no turning back.
I will write a new blog soon about our hospital experience. It was so spiritually beautiful. I discovered a new type of love for so many people. Keep your comments and questions coming. I will be glad to answer them. Now my son is waking up and needs his momma : )
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
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