As I left the hospital a day or two before Brian died, I remember thinking that surely we would be home in time for Spring Break. I wondered why I had not set it as a goal for us before this moment. Surely, it was a reasonable goal and something we could both look forward to because certainly he would get well. Almost immediately, I found myself wondering who I was to set goal for something over which I had absolutely no control. At the time, we were roughly four weeks from Spring Break. I remember wondering how we were that close to the break and what in the world had happened to the four weeks before that point. I also remember hearing a voice...I know it was the Lord preparing my heart. He said something along the lines of "Rachel, you can't set a goal for something that is not yours. Let me be in charge." I think I knew at that point that this wasn't going to end the way I wanted or had fantasized. I wasn't going to have my storybook, movie ending where Brian and I would stand before our family and friends and praise God for all he had done, yet we did get this. It's just that B was in heaven, and I was in our church surrounded by friends and family as we celebrated B's life and God's amazing blessings on our family and on B.

Four weeks after B passed away, it was Spring Break. After much prodding and tugging and pretty much telling me how things were going to go, my friend Heather convinced me to bring the girls and join their family and their friends from Centerton and go to Branson. I knew the girls would love the time away and getting to say that they did something fun for Spring Break. However, I wasn't sure I was ready to do all the things we always did as a family.  However, we went. We stayed at Point Royale where we had stayed for the World Series and other trips. We went to Silver Dollar City and rode rides. We visited the outlets and ate at Fuddruckers. We did it. We had fun, and we made MORE memories. We talked about Brian and laughed. We made new friends. It was a great trip.

"Making more memories" is a phrase that a friend shared with me. She lost her husband a year ago and has shared wisdom and tips with me. I am so very grateful. So here's to making MORE memories and building on the legacy my love left for us....

Before Brian passed away, I remember him saying that he made 11 trips to the DR. I remember thinking that I couldn't believe it had been that many. He had been on trips with the Pulaski Baptist Association, our church (First Baptist Little Rock) and our school (Baptist Prep). It's amazing how these trips quickly became part of our normal during the year. When Brian got sick, it had been almost a year since he had been in the country he loved so much.

On every trip that B made, he would leave his running shoes. I used to tease him that this was his way of getting new shoes. He would say that after all the work he did down there it was best those shoes not come back in this house. While all of that was true, I knew the real reason. It was a small thing he could do for the pastors in the DR. These men and their families live on very little income and work tiredlessly (is that a word) to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the refugees from Haiti and with the natives in the area.

After B passed away and the service was over, I was almost immediately overwhelmed wondering what I should do with all of his things. I knew I could never part with his boots, but his tennis shoes and those Crocs were a different story. It took a bit for me to be able to ask our friend Jay Jacobs if he would take the shoes with him when went to the DR just a few short days after Brian's service. Jay graciously agreed. I included the service folder from the funeral so that he could share it with pastors.

Jay was in charge of the mission team from Baptist Prep who was going to the DR to minister. I knew that Jay would honor my request and Brian as he shared B's shoes. Of course, the response Jay received was that Brian always left his shoes with them. While I'm sure I do not have my facts completely straight, what I do know is that when the Baptist Prep team pulled up to the church there were shoes outside the door. This is not typical in the DR. Gina knew this was the perfect chance. She put B's shoes with the ones outside the door and grabbed a sign from the bus. The sign read: "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news. Romans 10:15"

Thank you Jay and Gina for honoring B in such a beautiful way. He loved you both, and he loved the people of the DR. He loved sharing Christ with them as well as helping teenagers and others on the trips to love missions. My girls will never have the opportunity to travel with their dad on one of these trips, but I truly believe that his example will live on in them however they choose to share Christ with others.