I know many of you are wondering how my delivery went. A lot
of people have reached out in support about recovery and I am very grateful to
those thinking of me and my little family.
To understand where I am coming from and why I had a
cesarean section, this description is going to be mostly his birth story and
cover my first couple weeks of recovery.
We initially found out Killian was breech at 30 weeks and
were told he could turn in the next 2-4 weeks. At 36 weeks, he was still
breech, and my OB gave me suggestions to try and help him turn. He also gave
the option to do an inversion, where he turns the baby manually from the
outside. However, after thinking about it and talking to Kyle, I did not have
the feeling it needed to be done because of the risks. So, the next 2-3 weeks I
went to Accupuncture twice a week and the Chiropractor 5 days a week. At night
I also did breech inversion tilts for half an hour. To do this, I laid an ironing
board against the raised fireplace. On the ironing board my feet faced up
towards the ceiling and my head was pointing towards the ground. At 36-38 weeks
pregnant, this was not easy or very comfortable. All while laying there, Kyle
was helping me put ice, peppermint oil, and a flashlight on my belly. The idea
was the baby would turn away from the oil and ice and towards the light of the
flashlight. It is kind of crazy, but all of these things would not hurt me or
the baby, so why not try them?
Every week we had an ultrasound at the OB office and every
week he was head and feet up. My OB would ask if I had any signs of labor, but
I never had any signs of labor coming. He was willing to let me wait it out
until 41 weeks to see if Killian would still turn (by some miracle). However,
at my 40 week appointment, reality set in on me that it was not going to
happen. My OB was willing to wait another week, but after Kyle and I kind of
pushed him to see what he really thought, he admitted we were just waiting for
something bad to happen and if labor were to happen, it would not change the
outcome of what kind of delivery we were going to do. If I waited for labor,
the c section would probably turn into more of an emergency one than one that
is scheduled and more calm. I guess I just didn't want to let go of what I
thought was going to happen in my head. It finally hit me and I had to admit
that a cesarean was really happening.
A couple days before my 40 week OB appointment, I was having
thoughts and strong impressions that "He (Killian) was coming soon."
I had not told Kyle what I was feeling yet. I was not sure if i was feeling
this way because my due date was so close or I was just anxious to have the
baby. A day later, that night I was in the other room and Kyle said he felt a
sudden impression to come check on me (or make sure I was not in labor) because
he had a strong thought that "he was coming soon." I told Kyle I had
been feeling the same thing for the past couple days. The day of my OB appt, I
had a strong impression that morning to make sure my hospital bag was ready to
go, as in grab and go kind of ready. While Kyle was at work I made sure all of
our bags were ready. I started feeling that we may need to put them in the car
on our way to the OB (The hospital is right across the street from my OB's
office). Again, I had not told Kyle what I had felt like I needed to do. I was
going to ask him what he thought about packong the bags in the car when he
called me after work. He called me as he was leaving work and said at work he
felt the need to tie up random odds and ends so he would not have to worry
about it if he couldn't go back to work the next day. After he told me this, he
said that he thought we should pack our bags and put them in the car before the
appointment. I told him I had had the exact same thoughts and feelings that
day. By this time we really were starting to feel like he really is coming
soon!
While Kyle was at
work, I was talking with Michelle, Kyle's sister, and telling her I felt that
the baby was coming soon. I was feeling calm and the day was feeling long and
slow. She said she had felt very similar the days before her children were
born.
When Kyle arrived home we packed the car and anxiously left
for the appointment. On our way to the office, we talked about what in the
world could possibly happen and what decisions we would want to make if he
really was coming soon! Kyle even asked me if my OB said to have the baby
tomorrow, what I thought about it. I didn't really answer, and said it depends
on what the OB says. but I was feeling
more, "no, that is too soon!"
At my 40 week appointment, see paragraph 2, right after
seeing that Killian was still head up in the ultrasound, my OB asked me what I
was thinking/feeling about the situation now. Kyle and I decided we should
start thinking about scheduling the c-section. I told my OB this and he said ok
and asked when we would want to schedule it. Since I was unsure, we didn't
really answer, and my OB said, "What about tomorrow?!" When I didn't
answer, from shock, he said Kyle and i could talk about it, then suggested it
probably get scheduled sometime that week (since the next week was Memorial Day
and then I would be 41 weeks). Kyle asked him to check if the hospital had
openings for tomorrow, while we talked about it. After talking about it, it hit
me that having a c section was not going to change and it would be safer to do
before having labor signs. The baby is full term and healthy right now. Also,
it kind of felt like a sign that we were prepared to have our baby the next
day. Our bags were packed in the car already and Kyle had tied up work stuff.
Also, Kyle already asked me, "what if we had the baby tomorrow?" And
then my OB suggested tomorrow when we told him we thought we should think about
scheduling it. Kyle thought that was another sign saying that Killian was ready
to be born.
After like 3 minutes, my OB came back in the room and we
told him we decided on tomorrow. He said, "Great, be there at 5:30
am!" I said, "there is already a time?!" He said, "Yes, it
is scheduled for 7:30 and you will arrive 2 hours before by 5:30." It hit
me then that we were having a baby in like 15 hours! My OB said congrats and we
went home.
That night was kind of sleepless for Kyle and I. It took
some time to sink in that we were having a baby tomorrow and we were excited,
scared, nervous, and happy! I asked Kyle for a blessing before we went to bed
and he was able to give one of the most sacred and beautiful blessings I have
ever been given besides my patriarchal blessing. We were in tears due to the
spirit, joy, and peace we felt. We really believe that our ancestors are our
angels watching out for us and supporting us through that night, the delivery
the next day, and still to this day. We felt their spirits so strong and had
the exact same promptings. Kyle has never met my Grandpa Omer and he mentiomed
he felt my grandpa's spirit during the blessing. I had felt the exact same
thing. My grandpa's face and spirit popped into my mind, so once kyle mentioned
it too, I knew he really was touching our hearts telling us he was there to
watch out for us. And not only him, but he was not alone and many of our other
ancestors were and would there as well. It was comforting to know I was not
going to be alone and our family members, whom are our angels, were close and
supporting us and would watch over me and Killian during surgery.
At 4 am the next morning, we got ready and got in the car.
It was still surreal to think we were driving to the hospital and in a couple
hours, Killian would be in our arms!
Check in was calm and it was still feeling surreal. They
took us to the delivery room and had me put on the gown and use sterile wipes
to wipe down the front of my body and the nurse did my backside. They took my
blood, monitored the baby's heart rate and activity, and put in my iv. Luckily
I have great veins and being pregnant made them look bigger. The nurse did a
great job and I hardly remember it hurting at all now. I signed more paperwork
and we were left to wait for about a half hour because it was shift change at
7. My new nurse came in and she was so sweet. I was relived to hear she was
going into the OR with me and be there the whole time! She would also be the
one to really take care of me during recovery, so it was nice to know she would
know everything that happened in the OR. The anesthesiologist eventually came
in and said we were going to have a Birthday Party that day! He was the last
one to come in before it was time to go to the OR. The nurse came back in and
gave me my cap and we walked to the OR like 20 steps away. When they sat me on
the table I remember the anesthesiologist saying, "7:26." I thought
that was weird at first, but realized he was stating the time we got into the
OR. He put in the epidural and they had me lay down. My OB was there scrubbing
in and more nurses/techs started coming in counting instruments, etc. My legs
were getting strapped down, I was getting things taped and stuck to me, the
iodine put on me, and watching everyone do their thing. They put the curtain up
and eventually my OB drew the incision mark and said they were going to begin.
A couple minutes later, Kyle came in and I started crying, I was so happy to
see him and was emotional thinking we were going to meet our baby soon. My
anesthesiologist was sweet and gave Kyle some gauze to wipe eyes. Lol! Pretty
much after Kyle came in, my OB said they were cutting into the uterus.
The next thing I know, the assisting doctor said he has a
lot of dark hair. However, he was not born yet. Then the nurses and
anesthesiologist are looking over the curtain and my OB is saying I will feel
pressure. I feel my body moving around and hear my OB kind of start
"grunting." Kind of like when you are trying to open a really tight
lid off of a jar. He said I'll feel more pressure again and more grunting.
Again, more pressure and more grunting. The anesthesiologist told Kyle to stand
up and look. Kyle said he saw Killian right after he was pulled out. I heard
someone say 7:56 and realized that was the time Killian was born! Later I put
two things together and realized it only took 30 mins from when I walked into
the OR at 7:26 for Killian to be born at 7:56. That is really fast!
Kyle was then told to go see the baby. He trimmed the umbilical cord and shouted to me he was 8 lbs and 21.5 inches. Killian was crying very loudly, so I knew he should be ok.
After 5 minutes, they brought Killian to me. He was crying so hard, but they put his head on my chest, I kissed his cheek, said Hi Killian, Mommy loves you, and he stopped crying. We looked at each other and I knew I instantly bonded with him. I was so in love!
I was able to ask the nurses in the OR about the delivery.
They said he was footling! His feet were completely down in my cervix and his
head up in my ribs. He went from frank breech with both feet up to both feet
down hours before his delivery! His head was big and that is why my OB was
grunting and it took a while to get him out. His umbilical cord was in front of
him so it was not tangled or short. They were pretty shocked and kept asking
how I fit him in there because he was a bigger baby.
Recovery in the labor and delivery room was kind of a blur.
I was feeling good though. They put him on me skin to skin right away and got
him fed. After i was out of "recovery," which was the first hour
after surgery, our nurse gave him a sponge bath and he had to be in the warmer
for a little bit. After his bath and warmer he was swaddled and Kyle and I got
to cuddle him again. Our family came to visit that evening.
It was not until the next day I started feeling the pain more. The anesthesia was more completely worn off and I was only taking 1 percocet. They wanted me to get up and move just to the bathroom at the least. I became pretty light headed, so it took a few tries just to go 5 steps. Later that evening though I was able to walk down the hall, holding on to Kyle! I was moving much better, but still needed quite a bit of assistance in general. It was great when Grandma Trudy came to visit every day because she could hold Killian while Kyle helped me get around and get ready or so he could eat. Poor Kyle was so sleepless and starving in the hospital. He really did get food, but he had to do so much for the baby and me because all I could do was sit there unless he helped me. The most humbling thing I think was Kyle literally had to bathe/shower me. He was so worried I would get light headed again or fall and I could not bend over that he helped me scrub all the surgery tape off my belly. I am so grateful for a loving husband like him!
Overall, I was doing well enough, my incision was
looking/feeling great, my OB said we could leave a day early! I was hesitant at
first because I was not expecting to leave that early. The pediatrician said it
should be ok for Killian to leave too, so we were discharged Friday evening.
Once we got home that night, I realized it was a lot more comfortable being
home and having my own bed and our own space rather than a smaller hospital
room. My mom arrived the next morning!
For the next 1-2 weeks I had to sleep partially reclined or
sitting up because laying down stretched my abs way too much. I literally had
to have my mom or Kyle’s arm there to grab onto to get in and out of bed every
day. Overall, there were more painful days than others, but looking back it is
interesting to see how fast I did progress. Those first 2 weeks were long, but
during that time I was able to go on a mile walk with my mom and Kyle one
Sunday. Every day is still sore, but now I am starting to not notice it until
the end of the day, rather than all day.
Killian continues to grow as a healthy baby. We love our
little long and lean man! He is strong and healthy and mommy is getting there
too. I could not have gotten through this without everyone’s thoughts, prayers,
and well wishes. I give a lot of credit to Kyle, my mom, and my other mom
Trudy. I am so grateful for them when they held the baby, watched the baby,
changed his diaper, made meals for weeks, told us to take naps, answered my
questions, told me to give myself a break, etc. They help me keep my sanity and
remind me it will all be ok. Killian sure is lucky to have such amazing family
members in his life. We are so happy he is a part of our lives!
