Lesson Plans to Baby Carriages

Well, I collect Disney Ornaments and often I receive them as gifts. For Christmas a very, very dear friend gave me this Ornament...titled "Dreams Come True" she wanted me to think positive about 2007 & my BFP Dreams and Hopes. This sweet Ornament has a light and Cinderella & her Prince Dance around and around. I just love it and I want to dedicate it to ALL my Girlfriends that are trying to reach their BFP &/or Motherhood dreams as well. SO.....I would like to Dedicate this Ornament To an AMAZING group of Women:
Tracey, Michell, Chelle, Meg, Jen, S, Michelle,Vanessa, Dreambaby, Deena, SJayne, Angie, Cheryl, Kelli, and anyone else out there that is Struggling to hold on through the TTC (Trying to Conceive) or TTA (Trying to Adopt) hellish ride. No matter where our Children come from.....our Wombs or someone elses......may 2007 be the year that "OUR DREAMS COME TRUE!"

Well sorry for being MIA the last week folks...it has been a crazy one for certain. My work week was FAB-U-LOUS....I LOVE my new job. I adore the new Teaching sector and I get to add another credential to my Professional Certification...IF....I pass the next exam in 1 month. Please cross your fingers for me folks! Now on to more updates about me. Number 1: I had my medical work-up and my Physcian is still saying as long as all stays as it is now...I can be cleared to officially be cleared to start AI in May....yes MAY! (On other post, on another day, I will share WHY I needed to wait to AI at all) I think my NW Buddy Michelle...may be starting in AI in May too. (if memory serves) YEAH...we can be Cylce buddies Michelle......yippeeee. Let's see..where was I, oh Update Number 2: I need to loose at least 20 pounds STAT....while Christmas shopping on Sat with a friend I passed by a mirror and out of the corner of my eye it looked like someone was behind me.....yeah someone was there all right..it was my Ass. Yes, I said it....when did it start a darn colony and get its own zipcode..Damn! So...as soon as Christmas is over. I am hitting the weight loss....before I eat myself into a coma or something. Now my Final Update Number 3, is about imortant news from my dear, dear friend. On Friday night I was picking up a friend from the airport who is staying with me until tomorrow a.m. when she flys home to MD. Anyway, she has been in Asia on a job for 15 months. We IM each other every 1 or 2 days. Anyway, over many years we have been through almost everything together....good, bad, ugly...you name it. We will call her K. On Friday K mentioned she had something VERY serious to talk to me about when we went to Dinner at City Walk on Saturday. Since K is a professional Smart-Ass I was intriqued when she seemed so serious...I tried to get it all out of her on Friday night but NO Luck. Well, after gabbing & shopping on ALL Sat we went to dinner talking a mile a minute which is usual for us. I told her ENOUGH, out with it...I was certain she had met a guy & was thinking about something shocking like moving full-time to Asia & not coming back.LOL. K was acting so gingerly...I told her come on, nothing you can say will shock me. K told me she hadn't wanted to mentioned it but she had met someone 7 months ago, fell in love, and knew this was "it." I said what is the big deal....why wouldn't you tell me? K told me......she has fallen in Love and the love of her lifes name is......Hillary. Yes, men of the world....K is off the market. I sat and looked at K & didn't say a word and listened as she proceeded to tell me how they met and how shocked she was when Hillary asked her out & how shocked she was when she said "yes." When she came up for air...she just seemed so different, so nervous and we have NEVER been nervous or stiff with each other. I said..."Can I speak now?" I told K she had to be kidding me making me think the news was something that was going to upset me so....I said give me a damn break.....so, you are a lesbian....got anything else better than that to shock me with? I told her how MAD I was at her, that knowing me & my love for ALL people Why she would think this would shock ME.....hello we have mutual friends in gay realtionships or unions and so, what. Love & let others do the same is my motto! As Long as I get to love my men...why should I care what you do. Then in the middle of the restaurant K burst into tears & hugged me so tight the server came over & asked if we were OK. Then being a professional smart ass myself I told her I sure wish she had realized she was a lesbian when we were in College...because she could have cut down on the competition for the Hot guys between us both! We laughed & laughed. I also told her.....congratulations on finding someone so special in your life. We made plans for me to meet Hillary to scope her out & give my opinion. You know...the way all friends do when their friends get serious about someone. HeHehehehehe.......I love you K.......you go Girl! Or should I say, "Girls?"

Every year as a tradition my Mother & I have decorated Villages together. As I got older & moved into my own place we still always made time to decorate our villages at each others homes. Now that we are blended into one home we have 4 Villages to create throughout the house. Below are pics of Our Christmas Village Scene #1. Allthough you are not able to see it here the homes & gazebo are also decked out with Fibre Optics. I adore looking at Fibre Optics at night. So far, we have only completed this Village Scene but we sure had fun doing it!
I am looking foward to 2007....Please God, hear my prayer for a Baby. I am so looking forward to sharing so many family traditions with a new addition.

Well today was going along wonderfully. My Family and I were getting TONS & TONS of Christmas decorations from the garage when the phone rings. I know what you are thinking...."Is it Santa?" No, it was a a very good friend of mine that lives in Japan. The City of Nara to be specific. Anyway, Nao-Chan (Her nickname) was talking away to me in English and she said, "Candi, I have been thinking we always speak English together these days & never Japanese." I agreed but I said hey, we have been speaking in mostly English for the last 2 years. Anyway, Nao-Chan decided to speak completely in Japanese and I was stunned. Why, stunned you may ask....Because I had to focus to be sure I understood her. Some words I even needed a translation! (These were words I previously knew well) I was shocked! At one time in my life I was reading, writing & speaking on an Advanced Intermediate level in Japanese and Spanish. Now, apparently I am leaking my Japanese language knowledge like a damaged balloon. Now, I am in Florida, the land of the Spanish language so being here makes practicing Spanish much easier. Japanese however is another story. My Japanese friends and Educators are not in my area & most are still living and/or working in Japan. Today, was truly a wake up call. Either I need to use my Japanese or it will be gone for sure. When I was working in Japan my brain was in overdrive & I was soaking up the reality of the language and the dynamics between Formal & Informal Japanese. Now, look at me! Here is a truth even more strange, 2 weeks ago I had a dream completely in 2 languages ONLY - Japanese & Spanish. I woke feeling confused and uncertain what had actually been said. Anyway, I knew this would happen when I returned to focus on my Mother's health but I guess I was just amazed how much you loose and how quickly. I will NEVER regret my choice but sometimes I wish I could have my cake and eat it too.

Tonight I was thinking about my future and what being a SMBC may mean to my child. I have been planning this for so long and have put so much time, effort and funds into my Journey. No matter if I have a boy or girl, I know they will have some terrific male role models in their life. The best male role model hands down is MY DAD. He is supportive, compassionate and loves unconditionally. Although he would never be reading this...I honor my Father with this post. My Dad is proof that strong men can be soft & sensitive to their children and be simply incredible! I can't wait for my child to get to know my Dad....he is simply a hoot! In honor of you Daddy....here is a blast from the Past picture. Can you guess who was a Daddy's Girl??

Hey folks, had to get on and post this INCREDIBLE recipe for a New Margarita I had tonight. My new neighbors that moved in 3 weeks ago...out of the blue invited me over when I was outside to share in their "boat drinks" at their new TIKI Bar...lol. Mmmmm.....my neighbor mixed a little piece of Heaven in the blender....I am including the recipe for any folks that may need one STAT. For members of my extended "NW Family" that are struggling or reccently got a BFN....this Margi is for YOU! *******WARNING******** : Drinking 2 or more of these will make you smile stupidly and make you want to jump your hubby or partners bones...LOL. Damn! I had two before I realized that part....No boy toy...I mean Boyfriend for me to jump currently. Oh Well ENJOY! Yummy!

What a Day. First, I love my classroom & my students...have I ever mentioned that? Teaching is my passion and sometimes, just sometimes, my curse. Today was a presentation day for my 2nd Graders. We have been stuying for 2.5 weeks about What a Hero is..attributes, etc in Social Studies. Today the students presented their project on "Their Hero." This exercise has been part of Homework for the last 7 days so we did not work on this in class. Anyway, all was going along well when it was time for one of my most shy & speech challenged students to present......I was stunned.....I was her HERO. What....ME? I'm not Hero material...let me tell you. Anyway, I felt so emtional as this student struggled to present why I meant so much to her.....listen to some of her reasons...edited of course.

1. Ms. _______ always says good morning and thanks me for bringing my Homework Folder in.
2. Ms. _______ always thinks I am smart and says I work hard.
3. Ms. __________ never rushes me when I talk and she leans down so others can't hear.
4. Ms. __________ fixed my hair before picture day when my ponytail fell out so my Mommy wouldn't be mad at me.
5. Ms. ________ Never lets kids make fun of me or anyone in our class.
6. Ms. _____ says we are the smartest 2nd Grade she ever met. I never knew I was smart before.
7. Ms. _______ called my Mom at home to say I was a good.
8. Ms. ________ tries to speak spanish to my Dad when he comes since his english is bad. (Her words-edited).
9. Ms. _______ makes funny stories with spelling words and sings our sentence strips each day.
10. Ms. ________ NEVER yells & always gives us HIGH Fives when we get our spelling challenge correct.
11. My best reason Ms. _____ is my Hero is because she loves me.

Needless to say I was thankful Specials (art class) was right after this so I could get myself together. Just when I wonder if anything I am doing is getting to the kids....a miracle happens. Let me tell you, Teaching is the most exhausting, wonderful Calling that you never get paid well to do. School started for my County in August so I have been through so much with my students & I have so many challenges in my room this year. However, somehow I am reaching them...well at least a few.

Did I mention I can't wait to have my own little Rugrat to teach & drive me crazy!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Ok.....fun is over. AF (otherwise known as Menses) arrived today. Time to get back to business. Broke out my personal calendar where I keep all my exciting TTC info. You know exciting stuff like Cervical Mucus, Cycle Days, LH hormones, OPK results, Any cramping or Ovary Discomfort, etc. Looks like I will need to focus on at LEAST 3 cycles very thoroughly charted, PRIOR to my first AI with Donor Sperm. I may need 1-3 after that but I will take it month by month. Hopefully 3 will do it to my personal satisfaction. I used to input my info with Fertility Friend (FF) and then I just stopped about 4 months ago. For now, I don't want to use FF but I may later. One thing I never do & that is Temp..for me that is a LAST resort only. I have erratic sleep patterns so, temping wouldn't be accurate for me anyway, even with adjustments. Plus, sometimes I am fine getting 5 hours a sleep a night for 10 days straight...temp taking wise that doesn't make for very accurate readings. I am Happy to be going forward....bring on the diapers folks.....I'm ready!

Ok...today I ran to the Super "W" to do the dreaded Grocery shopping for the family. Little did I know I was going to win the the bonus round while I was there. First, I was going along normal as usual plugging away at something that has never been a favorite task. Then I went to the Health and Beauty section and as I went down an aisle there was a "Quality" (notice the sarcasm here) piece of Manly Manhood digging his crotch for all he was worth. I am not talking about the "graze & adjust" method but the "I have living beings imbedded in my special spots" approach. How I was that lucky to be treated to the free matinee I will never know. What I wanted to say was, "Sir, I think the ointment you are looking for is 3 aisles down....Oh, and Thank You for shopping at your Neighboor WalM^rt."

My Day as my previous post can attest has been spinning out of control & then.......BAM! I have incredible news...I feel so excited! This time for an Incredible reason! I just got an amazing phone call...My friend and her Hubby just found out officially they will going to Guanghzou (China) in a few weeks to pick up their daughter. No more maybe yes, maybe no fears.....after all this extended time & heartache......you did it Pam and Nathan! Your daughter Mei is coming home! Oh, how I wish I could go to Guanghzou with you both! I have been twice & it is beyond words. You know my stories about the trip now you both need to make your own. I can promise you, you will never forget your Journey! May God continue to bless your family! I will post some pics tonight in Mei's honor. Mei is a blessing and will have a wonderful extended family to spoil her. "Auntie Candi" will be happy to share as much of this crazy world with her as possible and if she ever wants to travel with me to Asia I would bring her anytime.....sure I only speak Japanese (& look Latina I might add).....but I hit & miss Chinese....regardless, I show respect & do what I can. Even if it isn't much!
P.S. I can wait till the summer when you guys come to visit me with her.......I will plan MUCHO much...we can do Disney & Universal & Sea World...Oh, My!

Oh, boy....I want my real life back please! I am off work today....good you may be thinking....WRONG! Last night a plumbing pipe upstairs "popped" and guess what...I had no idea & went to my garage at about 10:30 p.m. to put trash in the cans...and...Surf was Up DUDE! Except I wasn't laughing..after running & turning the mainframe waterline Off outside I called my Emergency Plumbing contact - Can I mention this is the 2nd YES 2nd time I have had Niagara Falls in my House. I haven't even been in this Home a year......I had this home built & needless to say I will NEVER, EVER, EVER suggest this builder to anyone else. TRUE they build 1000's+ of Homes in the US a year...but who cares! They sure suck to me! (And plenty of others in my Subdivision & this part of Florida). I will not go into the laundry list of problems I have had with this builder but I will say it hasn't been short....I will say that after my Mouth is finished they get over here & fix things. The bottom line is these things should not be faulty to begin with. I thought I was having an upscale Home built (5 Bed, 4 bath with Sun Loft & Island kitchen - upgraded amenitities, etc) What I got was a somewhat Upscale looking home on the outside.....with the cheapest fixtures & materials ever! I could have done better piece by piece purchasing myself! Plus it isn't like I am expecting something for nothing.....I just want what I am paying for. Needless to say I am fuming....the plumbers have been here for hours & just finished.....I have a wet Garage, 2 Bathrooms with Large open wholes in the Wall & a ceiling in half of my Garage that needs NEW Sheet rock. Next week after the Dry out I need to have a Drywall team out here to fix the Ceiling & 2 bathrooms. PLUS, in those two bathroom BOTH toilet lines needed to be re-done due to faulty initial set-up during the building. The Master Bath Toilet was completely replaced as well. At this moment I am wondering WHY.....why I choose this builder and why I just don't go into my room and stay in there for about 10 years! Have any of you seen the movie, The MONEY PIT? Well after my builders Warranty runs out....I have a feeling there will be a sequel coming out at my address!

Well....Let me start by saying congrats to my neighbor for starting their backyard Pool Yesterday. Now, let me say....I think they suck on the highest level. Juvenile...Yes. Hey, I am human after all. Since moving to Florida I have a list of a few things I truly would like to own. So far, I am blessed to say I have crossed off 1 of them. The Pool however is a deep seated desire. I can see myself now in my backyard screened in Haven with a Built in fountain & Hot tub after a stressful day at work....sipping a yummy frozen island drink of some sort....ahhhhh. As the reality of the cost hits me in the eye I snap out of it. True, I went to a local Pool company with excellent ratings last month & had them "work" the figures for my dream package as I call it. Surprisingly, it was less than I figured....why then didn't I sign & get the sucker financed to doomsday? Why....becuase I am a "What If" girl.....what if I go through this financing & then 10 different emergencies come up at one time & I am upset that I tied the money up in a luxury want. I am still kicking myself.....why couldn't I just sign! Hmmmm.....now to put a cherry on my Sundae....a truck pulls up at my neighbors & you got it....starts building a &^%* Pool right accross the street. Sure, it isn't their fault I wouldn't sign but Hey...I want to blame someone here and it sure as heck isn't going to be me. That my Friend would be too much like right!

Well.....it is that time again America! Hopefully most of you went out to the polls & exercised your American right to Vote. No matter your choice....kudos to YOU if made time to Vote.
Ok - Topic Switch...I just found this pic in my recent pics folder from Disney World. Living so close I have a season pass so I go often with friends, family & visitors. This pic though is a favorite from The Animal Kingdom...when you talked to them they looked right at you & turned their heads back & forth..they were so beautiful.
I can't wait to have a little one of my own to share in the amazing sights the world has to offer. True, I am a God Mother, (Which I take VERY Seriously) of 5 children...yes 5! Additionally, I have so many kids from others in my life you would think it would fill the "need" for my own, right? Wrong. Actually, one has nothing to do with the other. This is a lesson I have learned first hand. Honestly though I am enjoying these last days with NO charting, temping or CM monitoring. As soon as AF starts I am back to the maddness...no worries though, such is the reality of trying to conceive in a non-traditional way!

Well....it is official. The entire world is pregnant except for me. Today I got a phone call & 1 e-mail from 2 different friends that are what.....drumroll please.....PREGNANT! I am so very, very excited for them. Now be prepared to think less of me here...I am also just a tad envious..sigh. I know my time will come hey...I am not even trying right now...but still, I sure wish I had a positive pregnancy test on my bathroom sink. I love both of these long time friends so much. One is a clone of Martha Stewart (only the good parts) and is a Soccer Mom in trainning - this will be her first and she is over the moon. (And should be). They other is a friend that was NEVER going to have kids & still wasn't but had a BC pill "oops." She is more stunned than anything right know - great news is her & her hubby are coming around....they both agree that after the baby is born he will get the snip to make sure this is their only child. They will spoil this baby to pieces. Well....One of my rooms in my home is "the baby's room." I have bins of clothes for a boy or girl,a brand new glider rocker & tons of toys. This morning I took my cup of tea in and sat for awhile all alone & rocked in the glider. Sigh....well time to get ready for work. Have a great Monday everyone!

Let me start by saying.....growl! By nature I am a very private person. I am a great listener & can Listen all day & night about friends problems, concerns etc but only my closest of my closest friends will ever see me blow off steam. Why? I have no idea I have always been like this, I am not saying it is ideal it is just how I am built. Another thing about myself is that peer pressure has almost no effect on me.....I just never let other folks opinions of myself dictate my interactions or reactions. Interestingly enough I have an older sister & we are 100% opposite....her whole life the only thing that has mattered to her is other folks opinions. (NOT our Family's) She is ten years my senior & she is incapable of even picking a restaurant if you give her a choice....even if she picks something she then spends the next 15 minutes backpedalling why it was a bad decision. Needless to say this is why she has had several bad marriages, failed careers and can't keep "good" friends. I have tried to help her but at some point I realized after I also received my Counseling Licensure that all I can do at the end of the day is support her....she will live the rest of her life in this cycle of immaturity and lacking a backbone. When she needs me I am there....isn't it something that someone 10 years younger can be more emotionally & financially stable than a 41 year old woman? Never, ever think age is the main indicator of maturity. At least not in my family tree.
Well....here is my venting outlet. I was having a conversation with a lady yesterday at a local festival. I know her from church. She mentioned she was surprised I don't have 5+ kids because of my love of them. I told her I have never, ever wanted a large family & to me 2 kids IS a large family. Also, because I am not ashamed of attempting to be a Single Mother By Choice (SMBC) at all, I also shared that I was trying on my own for motherhood. Her reply....."Oh, Candace....why? You have a great job, you like men, you are wonderfully educated, own your home & your pretty (her wording NOT mine). Woman like you don't need to get pregnant on your own." WHAT THE HECK! I counted to 10 ...OK to 30 and then as controlled as possible I explained to her that those sediments are nothing but small minded schools of thought. First of all......being a SMBC for most of us is a very well thought out avenue we find ourselves on. SMBC has nothing to do with our looks, or our educations, financial assests, etc - it is our drive to become Mothers! The way she made it....the only folks that are SMBC are dowdy, school marms that can't "catch" a man. WHATEVER! The truth is ANYONE can catch a man.....now, if those men are the right ones to keep is the real question. If all I wanted was that, I could start TTC right now with a ton of male friends....trust me it would be cheaper & quicker!
In my case I didn't wake up & say hey I want to be a single Mom. No, I fell in Love with a terrific man.....dated for a long time & put off marriage eventhough he proposed to me twice before I accepted on the third time. I never doubted us as a couple I just wasn't sure about marriage. Anyway....very near our wedding my Fiance was taken from me suddenly & tragically. I won't go into any details & that was many years ago but needless to say it shaped the woman I am now. For whatever reason at 31 I found myself with the BIGGEST Motherhood pangs imaginable & after joining a support group......BAM - I became committed to attempting Motherhood on my own. Will I still get married one day? I don't know.....I will take everything one day at a time and see what life has in store for me. One thing I can guarantee....if I get pregnant and are blessed to become a mother.....I will LOVE my child enough for 10 people!

Introducing Chewbacca, Cinnamon & Star! My sweetie pie Pomeranians. I adore them....These three have been on more trips than most peoples kids. They LOVE Long trips in the Car & have stayed at some exciting places. Favorite spots? The Embassy Resort Tower in downtown Orlando.....they happily accept well behaved Poochies and they even get their own concierge service.....funny or what? Bottle Water anyone?
Other Favorites...they LOVE the Ocean Front Beach House my extended Family stays at 1-2x a year at Myrtle Beach, SC. (North Myrtle Beach section) They love to wake up early....sneak out to the Upstairs Balcony Deck & Bark annoyingly at the waves. Another ALL time favorite is going swimming.....They love to jump in the pool - Star (the middle Orange/White Girl) LOVES to float around the pool on a boogie board....talk about FUNNY!

Well lovely people.....Welcome to my blog. Wanna hear something crazy....I am an organization nut & in order to have time to blog (finally) I made an appt in my planner to remember to blog tonight....Hello is "L" still for Loooser or what! LOL. Anyhoo, welcome to my little corner of the globe where I chat about my life, my bumpy road to single motherhood by choice, my precious Pomeranians and of course the wacky & fabulous world of teaching. Don't be shy....have a seat in the front of the classroom & enjoy. Please, please feel free to drop me a line....I will do my best to return the favor.
Love & Positive Vibes...
Candace:)