Lesson Plans to Baby Carriages

• Red is my Favorite Color
• Sometimes I wonder if I continue to go without Sex for a LONG time, will I be Re-Virginized? LOL.....(My CRAZY friends tease me about this one.)
• I like my Dogs better then a bunch of People I know.
• I need a New Car....but not the Car Payment.
• One side of My closet is FILLED with clothes I can't even fit......DUH!!
• How Many Licks does it Take to get to the Center of a Tootsie Roll Pop??? No Freaking Idea because I get impatient and Bite that Puppy mid-way through.
• I have let my Hair grown past my Waist to now be almost Hip Length.....what am I, Crazy!
• Spiders or Jumping Bugs make me shriek!
• I am a BIG Kid...I have season Passes to all Disney Parks, Universal Studios, Island of Adventure, Sea World, Cypress Gardens and Busch Gardens.....HELP I am an Amusement Park ADDICT!
• The Last Time I wore Make-Up was to my Friends Wedding in July 1997.
• Most New Folks I meet in Florida think I am Hispanic and immediately speaks Spanish First to me, yesterday before I realized it, I responded in a combination of Japanese/English/Spanish...needless to say that person looked at me like I was OUT of my Brain!
• I already have 3 Plastic Totes of Maternity Clothes purchased, gathered from the last 3 years.
• I still have all my Wisdom Teeth....I am a Nut-Case!
• I need to shave my Legs more.
• There are more Bedrooms than People in my House.
• Sometimes the Thought of being a GOOD Mother terrifies me!
• My 10 Year College Reunion is in May...I wonder who will show up?

I am dedicating this post to my Buddy, Michell and anyone else that would like more information. My TTC Quilt is where I collect various Fabric Squares (swatches) that hold a special memory or message that I then put together and will then present to my child. Before joining in the Online communities I had collected over 100 Fabric Squares from fabric from my childhood, trips, vacations, friends/family, novelty items, etc. Due to volume, I just decided that I am Making 2 Quilts. I just received my 1st Square for Quilt 2 that I mentioned below from Kelli. She sent two swatches that she chose to share with me & she cut a piece of each Fabric & attached Well Wishes for my Child. I will store these messages and one day I will share all the well wishes & messages with my child. This is my Spin on the Chinese 100 Wishes Quilt - To put it simply in China - these 100 swatches/well wishes would be complied and the Quilt would be created and this quilt would be presented to the child and they would be enfolded in Love, Happiness, Peace, Strength of Character, etc. I am NOT a seamstress but my Mom was and she is helping me with the squares, to be honest...Quilting Blocks are a TON easier than sewing....at least for me. It is a great stress reliever and I am making something that can never be duplicated, it is an Original. Worried you can't make this kind of Quilt? NO Worries..I am ALL thumbs in regards to needle & thread & I have been getting the hang of this...I thought I was a LOST Cause!
Wanna see some TERRIFIC examples of Beautiful Quilt Blocks? Check out my Link for Kelli's website dedicated to Sprout......her creations are so lovely!
ANYONE (within my Blog Community) INTERESTED IN EXCHANGING FABRIC SQUARES - E-MAIL ME, FROM MY PROFILE. :) Please use Cotton....a great size is 8 x 8 or 9 x 9.

Ok, This morning I woke up to a horrible feeling of Nausea. UGH, as the day continued I felt like I needed to Throw-Up but never could and then the EXTREME Tiredness came. I have been exhausted and Nauseous now all stinkin Day. Needless to say I feel like I have all the Pregnancy symptoms without the BFP. I feel icky but I am not sick....I call it "Paper" Pregnant. Today at work a Co-worker caught be gagging in the Restroom early in the a.m. and she said..."Oh, My...Candace are you Pregnant?" Of course I said NO, which is true. I did find it interesting that that was the FIRST think my Co-Worker asked me when NOT A SOUL knows of my TTC plan at work. I am a VERY private person and my motto is when you see me stroll in with a Maternity Top on....you will figure out I have a "bun" in the oven! LOL. (OK, maybe not that long). I never can stand people asking me OVER & OVER how something is going and TTC is stressful ENOUGH without feeling like you need to field 101 questions from your co-workers. I appreciate the caring but I would not enjoy the constant questions, especially if it takes me a long time to earn that BFP. I am almost never, ever Nauseous & I am not a big fan of that. Needless to say, I am going to be a riot Pregnant.....a 100% wreck I am sure. I am NOT looking forward to that part of pregnancy...but I will take it & more to get my "Prize!"
Ughhh.....I hope I'm not getting sick!
****UPDATE**** Well, I am all scheduled in Late Feb for my Pre-conception GYN Stab & Grab OR as some call it......Pap Smear, Lab Work & all the Trimmings. Not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to the verdict..hearing that all looks Ok to proceed and getting everything else Organized. ****

First, I wanted to say Thank You, Thank You to my Sweetie Pie Cyber-Buddy, KELLI. You are simply FANTASTIC! Today I received several LOVELY Fabric Squares for my TTC Quilt. With the Swatches came beautiful sayings and positive statements to go with each Swatch....What a PLEASURE getting to know you, Kelli.....your Sprout is one Lucky little girl to get YOU as a Mommy. If you want to read something WONDERFUL check out Kelli's Blog....her trip through TTA from China is an Inspiration to us ALL!
P.S. Please forgive my delay, things were rather crazy on this end. I just sent out your swatches, I hope you enjoy them.:)
*********Lets see........on the TTC front....after 3 days of LH test I found my surge TODAY...LH Positive so it looks like I will ovulate in 24-48 Hours. If I was doing AI this cycle, I would be getting primed & ready. I wrote all my details down to use for information when I am able to Inseminate.
********On the Weight Loss side.....7 Days & 4.5 pounds down. I am NOT on a Diet, just a lifestyle change.....TONS of Water & Green Tea, Lots of FRESH Veggies & Fruit. For the first 3 days it was a NIGHTMARE as my body was in detox from giving up the excessive Diet Cokes, excessive Sugars & Excessive Bread. Today, I actually felt great and I was happy that I am making a positive change. It felt good to walk again and move more. In Feb I am joining a New Gym, the YMCA....that way I can swim and that can help me be more active.
*******On the Teaching Tip - Today a New Teacher broke down and walked out....in Her words she didn't think it was going to be this hard. I really feel for the New Teachers most of all.....you have so much to learn in such a small amount of time and you feel so overwhelmed. I called the Teacher at Home though and said look, this isn't like other Careers if you break a Teaching Contract suddenly you are BLACK-BALLED which is VERY Serious. I tried to ease her mind and let her vent. Now, that I am Floating and Teaching the Teachers as well as At Risk Kids it keeps me Jumping. Sometimes I feel like I could spout State Statues, Curriculum Guidelines and FCAT statistics in my Sleep.....No Wonder I am Single!****
Well.....That's enough rambling about my Little world! Have a wonderful night:)

Ok, I had my physical (last week 5 days ago).....I may have mentioned I have gained a few pounds in the last 2 years. Well, forget the previous sentence, I am ladies and gentleman...OVERWEIGHT...officially. Needless to say I knew it, but the numbers on my chart made me physically sick. I spent High School, College and many years since as a Healthy average size lady that never tipped the scales in the Overweight direction. Why, Because I exercised consistently, 4-5 times a week, lived a healthy consumption Vegetarian lifestyle with tons of FRESHLY prepared foods and less FRIED foods and drank a ton of water. I still enjoyed ALL my favorite foods, went out to dinner but I did limit my portion size.

• No Limit on portion size, usually as much as I feel.
• MANY more fried foods.
• Of, course still a Vegetarian but I consume MOSTLY frozen or processed Foods now....FRESH..what is that?
• Water is the LEAST beverage I drink...#1 is Diet Coke.
• Exercise - ZERO days a week..YES, I said ZERO!

Ok, why did I let this happen? I have NO Idea! It all started when about 2.5 weeks ago I seen a Group picture of myself at work.....It made me CRINGE! I can not speak for anyone else, but for me personally, my current weight is UNACCEPTABLE. I am a not one for excuses..bottom line..this weight gain is 100% MY FAULT. I am responsible for this excess and I am 100% responsible for getting this off. I do NOT want my future child to see me not caring or taking pride in my body. And this is just what I see this as....I am letting myself go. Well, that was 5 Days ago that I had this EPIPHANY.......I MUST lose 40 pounds BEFORE my AI. Not Maybe, Not Hopefully I MUST or I will not AI as scheduled. This is how important weight loss is to me. True, I will gain weight pregnant, I am fine with that BUT I need to start off in my correct weight range & proceed carefully because if I don't....I will go from Overweight to Obese and that will make the battle even harder. Since, reality hit me DEAD in the face 5 days ago, I have Lost 3 pounds....nothing special I know but hey I will take it. I don't want to loss it too fast or in an unhealthy way, I just want to exercise and get my Health Back..for ME #1 and for my Child #2.

To ensure I don't cave in and try to AI early I am purchasing a Donor in Quarantine, this way I CAN'T use my #1 Choice even if I wanted to. This will ensure I follow my plan. I just want to mention, I understand and support the fact that Overweight & Obese women are getting pregnant & giving birth EVERYDAY without any abnormal problems....I say more power to them. I also say, for myself I want to try to avoid this. With my luck I would have all the problems the books mention for overweight women. Beside I just feel uncomfortable with this excess 40 pounds.....I am only 5'3 and folks of my short stature don't carry excess weight well..to put it Honestly, we look rather Squatto-esque. I have 3 close friends that are medically labeled obese....they all 3 weight 265 -300+ pounds each and ALL three have had Healthy Babies and only 1 has had any weight related problems...which is wonderful. They all think I am looney to worry about my 40 pounds, but like I told them....each person feels different about their personal weight threshold...NONE of us are the same. I just want to get my weight back to a more comfortable level for myself. After all, I want health and fitness to be VERY important to my child.....How would it look in my present state to lecture them on lifestyle choices. If I am going to Talk the Talk I MUST Walk the Walk.

So, in addition to my posts revolving around TTC, Teaching and My Crazy Life...I will now add my Weight Loss stats. As I tell my students, Those who TRULY Believe, So will they Achieve.

***Also, to all my LOVELY Cyber Friends, thanks for all the Comments and wonderful advice you have provided on my Blog, I ALWAYS read it and I try to usually post responses in the Comments section as well....what a JOY to meet such a terrific group of Ladies!***

Ok, it is official I am INSANE. For me, Trash TV hasn't been the same since they took my FAVORITE show ever off...SEX and THE CITY. I LOVED that series (I have the entire Collection).....I would laugh so hard I would have a snitch in my side. Sometimes my Friends & I would have "watching" parties where we watch, gab, eat & comment on any sexy men in the episode and share personal stories. GOOD TIMES. Anyway, I was thinking last night I keep scanning through the rolling guide on Direct TV & I keep seeing.."The L Word".....in fact I think it is in Season 3 0r 4 and I have never seen an episode. So, I said let me check out the next episode....I thought Hey, Maybe I will learn a little something about the "L" Word (Love) that I can use. Needless to say, I was surprised fairly quickly because hey...The "L" word is for Lesbian and it focuses on the dynamics of what looks like a close knit group of ladies & their lives. (Straight, Gay, whatever). Hey & Love is in there too. Anyway, I called a friend & she said, "HELLO, Candi..Where have you been? The L Word has been out.!" Although she doesn't watch it....as if watching two Women in Love will "Rub -Off" on her (Don't get me started on this one!) she said it has been on Cable for years. ANYWAY, I told her it has some SATC like qualities....close friends, fast lifestyles, etc. I admit I don't know ALOT of what is happening with the characters yet but I am going to get all caught -up through Nextflix. I sure am happy to have a new Trash TV Series...yahoo! I already have few favorite Characters that made me laugh & laugh.
Usually, in my life I am a Nancy Grace, Local News, CNN, Discovery Channel, Face the Nation, History Channel, National Geographic Station kind of Gal......I do like to have a few Guilty TV treasures...just for fun....I refer to these programs as Trash TV. Needless to say they aren't trash......hehehe.

P.S. Anyone out there Fellow Sex and The City lovers? How about The L Word?
In the Past at a Party I was voted by a group of 15 friends to be a Mixture between Miranda and Charlotte. I voted myself as Miranda who secretly wishes she could be Samantha!

Oh, well.....just having a little fun with this post.

Ok, on to more serious thoughts. Let's see CD 5 here. Nothing exciting to report on that front. Tonight, I have been going through Donor choices. You know, deciding what is my criteria and ranking, etc. If I was married or in a serious relationship it would be easier as I would look for donors that identified with my other half the most. In my situation, it is very different. However, Interestingly enough I noticed that I find myself leaning towards the same qualities & appearance that my Fiance that passed away possessed. Is that crazy? It isn't as if this would be his child...I asked myself WHY I am doing this comparison? Anyway, in my situation Donor selection was initially more difficult to begin with. I am Bi-Racial - Caucasian Mother & Black Mother = Candace. Anyhoo, only one Truly Reputable Bank has a selection of Donors that are Bi-Racial with my 2 race classifications. My verdict on that...WHO CARES. I don't pick my significant others by race so why would I choose a Donor based initially, directly on it. In fact, my Fiance not that it matters was Caucasian, Brown Hair and Vivid Blue Eyes, 6'4 into athletics, chicken wings (Yuck!) and Golf. He was my Opposite in many regards on Paper and yet we were Soul Mates & we connected on an amazing Level. Saying this, I came to the decision I will use WHATEVER hits me about a Donor and THAT will be my guide. If I feel connected in some strange way by picking Donors that fit my Fiance in some fashion, then I will go with it. If I decide that with my strong LOVE of Asian cultures to choose an Asian Donor then more power to me. My main focus will be Genetic Family Health History with NO smoking or abusive drinking and a few other specific qualities that are personally important to me. I also decided because over the years I have made a connection with one Bank over a few others I am going to go ahead with my plan stay with that Bank for 5 -6 times MAX(hopefully it won't take that long). If nothing comes of that, I will go to the other Bank that I am VERY familiar with from where I moved from. If I end up going to that Bank I will use a Physician to handle my cycles.
Whew....now that I have rambled a plenty I am going to relax and enjoy a Good Book and a WONDERFUL piece of Peanut Butter Pie. Tomorrow, is my rotation Teaching Pregnant Homebound Teens...those days are always exhausting...rewarding..YES...but still exhausting.
HUGS my Cyber Pals!

Well folks just as the song says, "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow." I am so glad it did & I feel MUCH better....so happy that crazy day is behind me. THANKS a Ton for the Encouraging Comments by my Buddies, Michell, Tracey & Meg - I appreciate it! I try not to hold grudges and this morning STARTED with a Big Ole' Apology from my Mother and then we went out for breakfast and I am ready to move on. True, my life is LOCO sometimes (Who's isn't?) but as my buddies mentioned we always make it work somehow/someway. Choo...Choo....heading back towards "Babyville" once again after a small detour. LOL.
Thanks ladies for the sounding board...you are terrific!

UGGGGHHHH! OK, please turn back now if you can't handle a vent session. I need my Blog outlet in a big way right now. Today, I had a lovely Blowout with my Mom. Or as I refer to her in my head when I mad, Mommy Dearest. True, Mom and I have been through alot together. This however has nothing to do with us Loving each other it has to do with our arguments or fights....and yes, we do have both because Hey, we are human. Anyway, how is it that your mom can say something that can get you from 0 to 180 in a matter of moments? Previously, all these things were MUCH easier because since I went to college....I have always lived on my own & did things MY way. Now, since I moved my parents in my Home, we have TWO Alpha females on the block & every now & then it gets slightly sticky. My Mother is from the planet, Iamalwaysright&youarealwayswrong. Let me tell you that planet stinks big time. Sure, I have visited there from time to time but that is My Moms home planet. I think today was just a bad day for her...from the moment I woke up she was on me like a target. For a moment I thought wait a minute, is this the Twilight Zone? Then I was making a list of 20 errands I need to handle as Mom is adding to the list, assuming I will take care of everything (which I will) without even "asking" me first about my plans. Then, to top it all off, I asked her to handle ONE call for me last week while I was at my Conference during the day...simply to make an Appointment regarding my Home Warranty...GUESS WHAT, she forgot. Hey, no problem it happens right, right......but she forgot because she was watching her "stories." Her stories faithful readers are The Young & the Restless and The Bold & the Beautiful. That in itself wouldn't be so ironic if she didn't 3 years ago make fun of people that are "hooked" on Soaps. Now look.....she is like my Old College Freshman Dorm was on "Friends" nights. True, Mom is going through alot and has been for YEARS but some days are just HARD for me. I NEVER show it to the outside world, that isn't my style. Some days I go into The Master Bedroom, get in the Garden Tub and think....."Am I Out of My Mind to add a Baby to all my Responsibilities?" Two Parents that are aging & rely on me for so much, A permanently sick mother that also battles Severe Depression & Mood Swings and a "wacked" out sister that is a complete mess....they could write a Lifetime Movie about her craziness. Nights like tonight when I am doing about 101 things & need to do even more, I wonder If I am CRAZY to add another Human Being to my life. Then I think....I survived my Family growing up and in general can laugh and stay positive about my life....MAYBE just MAYBE my Child can survive me too.

Ok, Yes I am a teacher and Yes, I LOVE books. No. I ADORE books & I read constantly about almost any topic. I just love reading. Which is why I have always LOVED teaching children to read. I actually taught 2 of my God Children to read at 4 so that by the time they went into the Public School in the first grade they were reading on a 3/4 Comprehension Level. Naturally, I plan to teach my own child to read because literacy is so very crucial to me. This evening my friend helped me finish my 4th Bookshelf in my 4th Bedroom. She helped me count & I currently have 222 Books for my Child already....all levels, all topics and styles. (Purchased everywhere from Yard sales to Ebay, Schools & Library sales, etc - cheap-cheap) I have them spread out in the guest bedrooms bookshelves. I keep an assortment of books in each guest bedroom for guests in case they also like to read in their room. (Not everyone likes to watch TV before bed, etc).
Bottom line is that exposure to books, diction & information makes a HUGE difference in your childs cognitive development. Reading anything with your child is a vital social and intellectual activity that can never be overrated. If you can spare 10-15 minutes a night you are making a WORLD of difference. I plan to read to my child while I carry & constantly afterward. When I was young learning to read was VERY traumatic for me because I struggled. My teachers at that time were NOT encouraging or positive in any way and I just remember that to me in the first grade Reading was trauma NOT fun. Boy, when I became a teacher I promised I would never, ever forget those bad role models and I would always make learning to read POSITIVE and FUN. It can be done! Same difficult fundamentals to master but the delivery is the key...we MUST get these little ones invested in reading and help them find their personal niche.:)
In my 2nd Grade Classroom our slogan was.......READING ROCKS! BE A ROCK STAR!

Okie Dokie....I have about 4 months and some change before I begin trying Artificial Inseminations with an Anonymous Sperm Donor from a Sperm Bank. During this time I am charting my cycles, purchasing my vials of "man in a can" and just trying to get my ducks in a row. Wow, who would have ever thought I would be running along this path I have chosen...NOT me, Sister. Just shows you that you never know which way life may lead you. I am expecting AF (My Period) to arrive tomorrow. Yipee....4 more Periods until....IT'S TIME TO RUMBLE!

Happy New Year. Thank God I made it to see another year. As crazy as this world is, I still would like to stay in it for many years to come. What a year it has been, filled with Joy, Pain, Confusion and Realism. I spent today handing out Meals with one of the organizations I volunteer with, Meals on Wheels. Today, we focused on the shut-in clients that have economic challenges. We delivered Meals to them free of charge. (1 weeks worth with snacks). I ADORE volunteer & community service work. One day I woke up, stopped making excuses & made time to lend a hand around me. I LOVE it. I also belong to 3 other Organizations and I highly recommend finding something you love & digging in & lending a hand. Let me tell you, it doesn't take money or a lot of free time....it only takes a bunch of love. If you have 2 hours a month to spare guess what, I bet 100 different organizations would LOVE to have you. For me, reaching to help others makes me feel like I have been helped in return. Anyway, just food for thought.

1. Eat a little better and YES, try to go and use my stinkin' Gym Membership!
2. Be more understanding when my Mom is Irrational & a smidgen Unstable some days - After all she is sick and frustrated & I just happen to be her usual Target. I will keep being positive about her remission & keep ENCOURAGING her to stay on her Anti-depression Meds. (Please Lord).
3. I will try to open my heart more to the opposite sex this year...it has been YEARS since my Fiance died and I still judge anyone against him & guess what they will NEVER be him so I always Block and find a reason to call it quits. Hey, I am a counselor myself, I know why I am doing it....but this year I am opening my WHOLE Heart and I will try to take one Day at a time. My Fiance would not want me to stop living but it is so hard in regards to relationships. Sure, I know some folks have a love of their life die & less than a year later they are married again....NOT ME! My Fiance was truly my Soul Mate and even years later I know my heart hurts for him. This year I will be more open with myself. Ok, I will try. To be honest finding "him" is NOT a priority......becoming a Mother is!
4. Be a better friend this year. I am going to try to keep up with e-mails & phone calls a little quicker....try. I love my friends but sometimes life gets so crazy on my end & I get a little behind.
5. I will try to be a better Teacher everyday & keep the thought that each student is someones' entire world. I will keep my Curriculum Varied and Engaging & even at my most frustrated, I will forge ahead. I will attempt to not get as mad inside at worthless Parents that tell me they care & then never answer my notes, return my calls or even show up at school events....even when they could walk right over. In fact, I have had parents show up to Parent teacher conferences..DRUNK. I will keep praying for these children and their families.
6. I will try to keep being the Best teacher Mentor I can to all the New Teachers with all the answers, and to remember I was just as green when I had my first classroom. I want these New teachers to Feel or see why I LOVE teaching. It isn't the pay or the praise....it is the Change. Sometimes if we are lucky, as a teacher you can see something you are doing make changes happen. In my new position I have begun to Observe this already.
7. I will get my "Baby Dreams" Quilt finished this Year....I have been collecting Quilting squares for 1.5 years....I want to have it completed by December 31 2007.
8. I want to stay POSITIVE about my attempts at Motherhood....when I get my BFP isn't in my hands but how I handle myself during the process is. I can do it!
9. Live life to the fullest, have fun, hug my Pomeranians, love my family and be Crazy sometimes! Do more than just Exist.