The Brown Family

Sundays aren't always easy for me. In fact they are hard. Today one sweet sister stopped and asked what she could do to help me as I started unloading my kids. I could have done things on my own more quickly but a little voice said "let her serve you, let her help you." So I let her carry one of my bags and we walked in to Sacrament together. Then another sister came over to me after sacrament meeting and told what Joy and  happiness Maggie brought to her. I apologized to her for Maggie being a distraction (she is a stinker) and she said "no not at all, She made me so happy, I loved watching her and her freedom and joy, just think of what happiness she brought to other people today."

The Lord is teaching me. I'm a slow learner and its hard, SO VERY HARD. There is no easy button to push in life. This quote has brought me a lot of comfort :

It will work out. It always does.

I'm having a difficult time exercising faith. So I turned to the brethren for some inspiration. 


Elder Bednar came to visit our stake last year around this time. It was an amazing experience to hear his words and learn of Christ through him. He said something about faith that struck me. I tried to find a better word for word quote but couldn't. He said 

"Unlike the popular movie I believe that Moses and the Children of Israel had to step in the Red Sea and get there feet wet, maybe even there knees, before the sea was parted." 

Again that quote is paraphrased and not word for word but the general idea is there. I skimmed through this talk by Elder Bednar called Pray Always which is amazing as all of his talks are and found this quote:

"Remember, Nephi tried several different approaches before he was able to successfully obtain the plates of brass from Laban (see 1 Nephi 3–4). And he did not learn how to build a ship of curious workmanship all at one time; rather, he was shown by the Lord “from time to time after what manner [he] should work the timbers of the ship” (1 Nephi 18:1)."

Kind of the same concept of the Moses quote.
I also found this from Elder Packer The Edge of Light. This is taken out of a story that he is retelling,

"The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning." I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: "You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." Then he quoted these eighteen words from the Book of Mormon: "Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

I would love to be able to see just 2 steps in front of me. I'm afraid of the dark. I need more faith and I need to exercise that faith. I know that at the end of this month we will be taken care of because we always have been. Its just a waiting game to see what the Lord has in store for our family and for me. I know that he knows me I know that he knows the true desires of my heart and I know that he will bless me and even carry me through this trial if I just rely on him. 

So I know that many moms have had to deal with cuts and breaks and hospital visits, but in my five years of experience I have avoided those for the most part. I honestly would look at bloody wounds and think "oh gosh please not my kid." So here is the story, David went to the temple this morning which just happens to be 1 1/2 hours away. We had Daniels birthday party planned for 3:30 so I was cleaning to get ready. I was just vacuuming the play area and set the kiddie chairs on top of their table so I could vacuum underneath it. I continued vacuuming and heard a loud cry. I turned around and Maggie was crying. I asked d what happened and he said she had climbed up on top of the table and sat on a chair and was trying to convince him to do the same when she fell backwards off the table. I was hugging her and realized she was bleeding  a lot like dripping down the back of her head. I think she hit her head on the edge of our toy shelf.  I called my cousin who luckily lives 20 mins away and she came and sat with d and Noah while I ran Maggie to the ER. While I was waiting for her I fed Noah and then did a frantic "I wasn't planning on anyone seeing this mess till 3:30" clean up. Then headed to the hospital that was recommended by the dr.  Maggie was a trooper. She broke down when Madi walked in the door and when we arrived at the hospital, she doesn't like shots, but really she was so brave. She ended up with two staples. I almost vomited. It made me so queasy when I looked at the cleaned up gash and still does when I see the staples sticking out of her hair.
Again I know that moms everywhere do this all the time, I'm not saying I'm amazing at all. I'm just really proud that I was able to stay calm and rational through the whole process and so proud of Maggie. I know I was blessed.  So I've earned my ER staples badge and hope that I don't have a repeat.