Tree in the Forest
If a tree were to fall in the forest without anyone witnessing it or hearing the sound it made when it when it crashed, did it really happen?
What use are beautiful memories if you cannot remember them? Worst if they are memories not shared with anyone else. Who will remember after you are long gone? And what is to prove that you truly existed in this moment and time?
What is this human desire to leave our mark? To create something of significance for future generations to remember us by? A legacy? Why is there this need not to be forgotten? What is the value of being remembered?
I am plagued and perplexed by these thoughts. And yet I have an overwhelming desire to write and publish something worthy before I waste away and disappear forever...
I am Pocahontas
I'm pretty sure I have posted something similar before but hey it's my blog and this song still rocks. If I ever had a life song, I think this would be it...
From memory...
What I like most about the river is...
You can't step into the same river twice...
The water's always changing, always flowing...
But people I guess don't live like that.
We all must pay a price...
To be safe you lose the chance of ever knowing...
What's around the riverbend
Waiting just around the riverbend...
I look once more, just around the riverbend
Beyond those shores, where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for...
Why do all my dreams extend just around the river bend
Just around the riverbend... (for me... coming for me)
Should I choose the smoothest course?
Steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Koku-om
For all the earth our mother gives
Or do you still wait for me dream giver?
Just around the river... bend?
Goodnight world... And sweet dreams...
210
Wow I didn't realize I had posted so much over that last 5 years? I know it's only an average of 42 a year, and 3.5 a month but still it adds up to quite a chunk. And this is actually my second blog. The old one is floating around still. With all the bitter-sweet memories I don't want to delete but don't want others to read. You see, I don't have a good memory and one day, I would like to look back at all these posts and smile or wonder to myself, what the eff was I thinking.. Hah...
The Individualist
From iPhone App "9 personalities":
Your basic virtue is equanimity (mental and emotional stability/composure especially under tension/stress). You are self-aware, sensitive and reserved. You are emotionally honest, creative and personal.
At your best, you are inspired, highly creative and able to renew yourself and transform your experiences.
Your basic vice is envy. You tend to be moody and self-conscious. You withhold yourself from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, and can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living.
Your basic fear: Being commonplace.
Your basic desire: To be unique and authentic.
You typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence and self-pity.
Your temptation: To beat yourself up and withdraw.
Your key motivation: You want to express yourself and your individuality, to create and surround yourself with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect your self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer".
Hrm... food for thought...
Alexander Supertramp Quote 2
Late July 1992, after months of solitude in the Alaskan wild...
"And so it turned out that only a life similar to the life of those around us, merging it without a ripple, is genuine life, and that an unshared happiness is not happiness... And this was most vexing of all. HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED."
Anti-Social Tendencies
Jon Krakauer in Into the Wild:
"We like companionship, see, but we can't stand to be around people for very long. So we go get ourselves lost, come back for awhile, and then get the hell out again."
Solitude
Anthony Storr in SOLITUDE: A Return to Self, as quoted by Jon Krakauer in Into the Wild:
"It is true that many creative people fail to make mature personal relationships, and some are extremely isolated. It is also true that, in some instances, trauman, in the shape of early separation or bereavement, has steered the potentially creative person into developing aspects of his personality which can find fulfillment in comparative isolation. But this does not mean that solitary, creative pursuits are themselves pathological.
Avoidance behaviour is a response designed to protect the infant from behavioural disorganization. If we transfer this concept to adult life, we can see that an avoidant infant might very well develop into a person whose principal need was to find some kind of meaning and order in life which was not entirely, or even chiefly, dependent upon interpersonal relationships."
