Get a Life?
I think I'm boring, judgemental and uptight.
Was I always so or did I somehow become like that while growing up?
I hate the smell of smoke - I don't date smokers.
I don't enjoy loud parties/crowds or hanging out late at night.
I don't take stupid photos and throw myself all over guys at clubs.
I don't like to go out in big groups and get all rowdy and drunk.
I don't want to. But why are cute guys always so wild?
I am irritated by people who lack discipline.
I am irritated by careless and scatterbrained hares.
I can't stand people who talk too much or swear.
I can't stand people who are needy and attention seeking.
I dislike people who borrow money and pretend to forget or delay repayment.
I dislike people who are negative, judgemental (yes i do realise that is exactly how i sound right now), always gossiping and criticising others.
I dislike girls who are always flirting and trying to seduce men.
I can't stand irresponsible and defiant people.
I can't stand people who are unteachable.
Yes I do understand that these people probably had a hard time growing up and have issues that have not been dealt with, but so do I, and I'm sorry but my heart is simply not big enough to accommodate their idiosyncrasies.
I smile easily but I have lost the ability to laugh at retarded jokes.
I am no longer easily impressed by guys and I scoff at their lack (of everything).
Their awkwardness, inappropriate behaviour and lack of confidence is disturbing.
Their need for someone to pat them on the back to say well done all the time is too much to ask.
There is always something (often many things) wrong with them.
I am terribly cynical when it comes to relationships.
Why do people love so easily? What do they see in their partners?
Do they really love wholeheartedly and passionately or are they merely settling out of desperation, fear of being lonely or the desire to start a family? Are they more concerned about conforming to social expectations than their own true happiness? Have they weighed the pros and cons and decided that it is better to have someone they can live with than no one at all?
Those with low self-esteem cling on to their partner even though they are ill-treated. Why?
Those who cannot stand being single and are only happy when they are attached. Why?
Those who desperately want a partner but refuse to pull themselves together. Why?
Those who fight, breakup, get back together only to fight, breakup, get back together again. Why?
Could it be that only the blind fall in love, get married and live happily ever after? Or are they merely "better" people who have attained "nirvana" and are able to love and accept despite obvious shortcomings.
Yes, I know. I'm evil, selfish and proud and if I end up collecting dust on the shelf, it's my own bloody (Gasp! A swear word!) fault. But at least I'll be happy.
Lara Croft
Watched Tomb Raider over the weekend and decided that I liked the tough and fit image Angelina Jolie portrayed in the movie. I can't overlook the fact that she's a husband stealer but comparing her and Jennifer Aniston, I can see why. Anyways, Brad Pitt is still my most detested actor but I'm officially making Angelina my new fitness role model! I still love Jessica Alba and Natalie Portman of course. They are probably the most gorgeous celebrities alive but their sexy (Jessica) and demure (Natalie) image don't really suit my personality.
I've been focusing on running lately (haven't done weights in over 2 weeks) and trying to lose and maintain my weight between 53 and 55kg so that my fats won't spill over my uniform waistline like a cupcake. It's hard not being able to eat whenever, whatever and as much as I please but I know the restrictions are for a good cause.
I think the clearest when I am running and I keep reminding myself - It's (junk food and overeating) not worth it! I mean by some divine intervention, I have landed myself a dream job. PTL! And I know I am exceedingly blessed beyond what I deserve! TG! This is exactly where I want to be at this point in my life and I am not going to ruin it with my lack of discipline or self control. I've worked too hard to waste this precious opportunity!
I need to work harder!
Blind Dates
My friends are trying to matchmake me - muahahahaha! That, is truly amusing and at the same time kinda exciting too. Haha I've never been in this kind of situation before but hey I guess I must seem a little pathetic being 28, disillusioned and all...
Thing is, while I am supremely happy being single and free, I think I still do hope to meet someone suitable for me. I might even go for one of those speed dating thingies just to see what it's like. Or join TTT if they'll take me.
Watched The Leap Years at a friend's place yesterday and had an epiphany...
I don't just want to find someone I can live with, I want someone I cannot live without. Isn't that what love, romance and unions are all about? I want to meet someone I am passionate about. I want an Edward-Bella kind of romance. Failing which, I'll rather be alone. Why "settle" for someone? Is that what "settling down" really means?
Have been reading Marian Keyes again and her love stories seem so plausible, so desirable and yet out of reach for me. Perhaps the growing number of single and eligible women worldwide share my sentiments as well.
I seem to be meeting more and more unattached women in their late 20s, 30s and 40s. Ladies who are successful and might I say pretty decent looking as well. Is there anything wrong with this picture? Are we all trapped in our own little fantasy world? Have we been exposed to one too many romance novels?
What is wrong with having ideals? What's wrong with wanting a real man?
I am waiting for someone who is christian, humble, confident, gentlemanly, mature, generous, suave, fit, knowledgeable, intellectual, fun to be with, decent looking, clean, romantic, faithful and financially stable. He should have a can-do attitude, not be full of complains, be willing to experience new things (eg. sports or living in a different country), live life with a passion, desire to learn and improve, love reading and animals, not want to have kids, not be sex obsessed, be positive and encouraging, and allow me to have my own freedom and space to grow...
And that's all I was able to come up with in one breath. He doesn't even have to be a vampire, be filthy rich, play the piano and sing. Am I asking for too much?
Impossible to Please
Some people are just like that...
I have learnt that sometimes, people who gossip behind your back tend to avoid you and are afraid of looking in your eye when you try to be friendly or talk to them.
Another species of gossips I've come across will only be nice to you when they want something from you or need help... no shame...
What's the point of being so pretty and slim if you are rotten inside? Is jealousy eating you up? Should I just pretend I don't know the answers to make you feel better? That just goes against what I believe in and stand for.
Why does the asian culture discourage questions and class participation? Isn't it boring and painful to sit through a class where only the teacher speaks? Why is it taboo to answer and ask questions?
I was taught that there are no stupid questions and even if it is indeed a terribly stupid/naive question, I'll rather clarify my doubts and learn the answer than to live the rest of my life in ignorance.
We are all brought up in different environments and exposed to different things in life. Why don't we make a better effort to learn from and help each other instead of trying to make each other feel bad about themselves?
Is this the norm outside the christian world?
Why is it so hard to be thankful and optimistic for what you already have? Is it necessary to compare and complain when you know that it's not going to change anything? Instead of living your life always wishing you have something else, be grateful for what God has given you. Enjoy and appreciate it.
Meanwhile, (if you can help it) work towards what you want! Don't just sit there and mope, hoping that one day what you want will fall on your lap. Duh!
I believe that everything happens and is done (whether planned by God or the management) for a reason and ultimately, the aim is to mold us into better people. You can either look at it positively and embrace the culture or you can waste your time, keep busting your head against the wall and suffer throughout your entire life/this period.
Whatever it is, I'm moving ahead and moving on with or without you.
Edward Cullen
I've finally decided what I'm looking for in a partner!
Haha... got this list from an Edward Cullen fangroup on facebook:
1. be inhumanly attractive
2. drive 200 km/h
3. save you from death
4. have an amazing body
5. be incredibly wealthy
6. be too much of a gentleman
7. have an elegant way of walking
8. be inhumanly strong
9. crooked smile
10. have an extended and sophisticated vocabulary
11. be really smart
12. good taste in music
13. smell extraordinarily nice
14. suddenly appear out of nowhere and kiss you passionately
15.to tell you that you ARE beautiful, not that you look beautiful
16. to be able to enter to your room without anyone noticing
17. be willing to sacrifice his life to save yours
18. have eyes only for you even if he is surrounded by hot girls
19. be able to read minds except yours.
20. quote romeo (william shakespeare)
21. stand in front of you in a protective way when you are in danger
22. give you his jacket when you are cold
23. to stay young, gorgeous, and sexy forever
24. have morals
25. love you for what you are inside, not for how you look
26. be charming
27. be jealous of your guy friends (jacob, mike, etc...)
28. sparkle in the sunlight
29. write you a song
30. wait for the ideal girl to come along
31. be a virgin!
32. whisper nice things to your ear
33. be able to make you beautiful and immortal
34. tell you that the outside world holds no interest for him without you
35. be comprehensive
36. have a nice family
37. play the piano
38. kiss you in the middle of a fight
39. always pay everything
40. hug you behind your back
41. have been pretty much single since 1901
42. hold your face while he kisses you
43. do not sleep at night, stay by your side taking care of you
44. speak no lies
45. have a good taste in clothes
46. have beautiful and expresive eyes
47. own amazing cars
48. be able to carry you with no effort
49. tell you that you are the closest to heaven that he will ever get
50. be willing to spend eternity by your side
I know I know... Dream on...
Seriously, I am obsessed with the character (not the actor) and I know it's pathetic but hey, a girl can dream. In my imagination, Edward is way better looking than Robert Pattinson. Real guys these days just don't cut it...
