The Business of Baby

Today I had lunch with two of the Mommies from Beanie's school. The same two ladies we went berry picking with last week.

As I had mentioned earlier, during our berry picking outing, one of the Moms had suggested lunch and I decided to jump on the opportunity and suggested we meet today. I had taken a day off from work so it was perfect to have something fun to do and not have to rush back. The day suited both the other Moms as well. We went to a new sushi place that has opened in our Town.

I had a really nice time!

I enjoyed sitting and talking with these two ladies and getting to know them. Both are professionals and one of them works in an industry I worked in years ago so the conversation flowed very smoothly.

One of the lady (A) has a daughter a little older than Beanie. They were both in the same infant daycare so I have seen A and talked with her many times and always wanted to befriend her. Its cute because Beanie's is very fond of A's daughter and calls her "her friend".

The other lady (V) I met in this school and whose daughter's birthday party we went to earlier this year. We have already decided to meet up again in a couple of weeks.

I had hoped that with Beanie I would be able to increase my social circle a bit. I live in a very family oriented city. As a single person it has been nearly impossible to find anyone in my age range who is not married with kids. I am enjoying being able to meet new people.

There is one other Mom has asked me if I wanted to meet up for lunch, but she just had her second baby and I doubt she will have the time to get together.

We plan to go blueberry picking with the kids in a couple of weeks and meet up for lunch again before the school summer break in July.

After the rocky start to our weekend (see previous post) things turned out better and we ended up having a good time.

When Beanie woke from her nap after the Sat meltdown, we snuggled and "talked" in bed about what happened. She said that "mine cry in the park" and I asked her why.  I let her tell me and then explained why we left and how the swing cannot go any faster and higher. We went downstairs for snack and I decided to continue with our plan of going to my parent's house.

They had bought her a tricycle and I wanted her to see it.

She has been wanting a "cycle" with a "special hat" for a few weeks now.  She loved the cycle although she cannot pedal, but likes to move it with her legs. She will pedal if someone is pushing her but otherwise is happy to move it around with her feet. She has a car that moves that way so she is used to it. She also got a book and played with the cat. Then we decided to go out for pizza. I had planned a dinner at an Italian restaurant but with graduation that Friday I figured it would be packed and did not want to deal with another tantrum.

We enjoyed pizza and sat outside by Beanie's request which was lovely. We then went back to my parents house where my Mom insisted she get a "treat" of ice cream with sprinkles. I don't keep ice cream in my home so its an indulgence she only gets at grandma's.

Sunday morning was spent in doing yard work.

I put in sod around my tree in the front yard. The shade has killed the grass so I had the tree pruned about a month ago and decided to do the sod myself. I totally miscalculated the amount of sod I needed so ended up having to make another trip to the garden center (all muddy) mid-way through my project. Beanie was trying to help but made things move a lot slower than normal. She wanted to rake and then to put the top soil and this and that. I kept giving her small jobs to do which kept her busy. Then I took her (and my Dad) back to the store to get more sod. She enjoyed eating her yogurt sitting on the lawn watching me sweat it out  :-)

Not sure what we did Sunday night -- oh I remember we went to Target.

Yes, I needed to do a big Target run and it was only about 4:30pm when we woke from our nap. I told Beanie we would go but she had to sit in the cart and not get off. She got it since she repeated after me "I sit in cart - no get off".  I told her I did not want any fussing or crying. She agreed.  Then my Mom called and said would come along too. Beanie was good as her word and did not get off the cart and was well behaved right until we were back at the car and she decided she wanted to "go back to store, only one more time". But I distracted her with the prospect of going home and playing with bubbles so we averted any drama.

Today was another busy day!

I needed more sod to cover some partially bald spots that were looking odd next to the area with the new sod. So right after breakfast, we picked up my Dad (so he could sit in the car with Beanie as I went to the store) and bought another 15 pieces of sod. Came home put it down, cleaned up my car and then we got dressed for our Memorial Day lunch on the deck

Beanie was so excited and kept saying she was "ready for the party". She wore a cute US flag red/white and blue dress. Its was funny because I think she expected other people to show up, namely my niece and nephew to come but it was just my parents and I.

We ate hot dogs.  Beanie got a few small pieces of hot dog which she ate for the first time today but said she did not really like it!  Then we had corn on the cob which she loved, baked beans, some chips (which she never gets) and watermelon. She did not like the potato salad. It was nice sitting on the deck with my parents, eating and having a glass of wine. Beanie was sweet and fun.

Later my Mom insisted that Beanie have some ice cream since it was a holiday (what again??  I said with horror!!!). But being a  grandma I guess is all about indulgence so anyway, Beanie got some "ice with sprinkles" and could not believe her luck.

So, overall its been a nice weekend!

Hope you all had a fun weekend too!

Ugh -- Beanie had an epic tantrum today - in public no less :-(

We had a lovely day planned and its started very well with wake up and breakfast and getting dressed. All done happily with no fuss.

I was taking her to the car wash for the first time and planned to go to a big park to play with the beach ball. I have a sloping driveway so we never get to really play with balls outdoors.

She enjoyed seeing the car being washed and wiped down. It was sweet because she got a bit worried when the guy drove the car out of sight for a few minutes. She was very concerned about " my kai".

After the car wash we went to the library area only to find that park was closed for construction.

Really?? Who does park construction is Spring.Summer - that is what winter is for given it does not snow here.

So with nothing else to do and since it was only 11am, I decided (with misgivings) to take her to the park with the swings. We have never left that place happily, not sure what I expected today -- but it was way worse.

We get on the swing and she is laughing, happy. Its a beautiful morning, cool breeze...lots of families.

Beanie asks me to push her higher which I oblige.  Then after about 10 min she starts fussing/crying "faster, faster".

So I push her higher  - paying attention to the unsupervised kids who kept running behind the swings. The parents were too busy talking!

She continues to have a mini meltdown, so I stop the swing and tell her calmly that the swing can only go so fast and so high and she needs to not get upset over it.

She says "all done" with the tantrum and we continues for about another 5 min.

Next thing I know she is howling in the swings saying "faster/faster" and even pushing her higher was not helping. She did that about three times and the second time I warned her if she started again we would have to leave.

So the third time, I tried to calm her again and getting nowhere decided it was a no-win situation, I may as well get her out and go home.

OMG - I had to haul her up screaming and crying...and physically carry all 31lbs of her across the playground and out

EVERYONE was literally turning their heads and staring at us.... I had of course parked the car far away so we had to go out and around the entire park.

Not fun!!

She kept screaming and twice along the way I put her down and tried to calm her down and tell her that we were leaving because of her tantrum, not for any other reason.

But she was beyond it.

At one point I had to lay her on the grass - the kid is heave. There was a cute Dad who had smiled at me earlier, and was nearby with his boys, so he gave me a sympathetic look.

I then hauled her back, keys dropping, backpack falling off and took her over the bridge - yes there was a foot bridge too! (why the HELL did I park so far away!!)

It did not end there...

I put her inside the car, shut the door and went around the other side -- she carried on screaming "Mommy Mommy" and "I want to go"...then "all done" -- big sobs, coughing, snot everywhere ....for at least 10 min in the car.


Finally I told her that we were NOT going back to the swings (in my mind EVER!) and if she sat in her seat and got calm we could do something else fun, but she first had to calm down.

She did eventually...so I told her since she was now calm we could continue to have a fun day.

We ended up going to see the fountain by the library, eating a banana on the bench and then into the library. She was fine and even got her diaper change obligingly.

I was dreading the time to leave. When it came I simply told her "I am hungry and going home, but you can stay her if you like by yourself" - to which she replied "no, I come home too".

We went out again to the fountain and she came without fuss to the car.

I praised her for being so well behaved, as I always do, and we left.

She fell asleep on the way home and is fast asleep right now...while I am still totally shaken by the whole experience.

She has had tantrums in the past, but I have never seen her scream like that.....

And all for what?

I had no intention of leaving the park when we did since we had only been there 15 minutes....it was her behavior that sort of forced me to. I have no idea what got into her and she wanted me to to really with the whole "faster: business.

No wonder they call it the terrible twos :-(

I had so many fun things planned this weekend including dinner out tonight.

I don't feel like doing any of it!

Third time was a charm!

We finally got go on a berry picking play date yesterday.

It was a ton of fun and I have to admit I enjoyed it just as much as Beanie, since I had never been either.  We went with the Mom with the two girls who we had planned the date with. She invited another Mom with a 3 year old, so it was three adults with four girls.

I called in the morning to confirm the filed was open and then again about 2pm just to make sure. I did not want a repeat of getting there and then disappointing the kids.

We picked up the kids from pre-school at 3pm and headed out. It was hot, but they were in hats and sunblock. I took the extra precaution of changing Beanie to a long sleeve shirt in the car and wore one myself. I hate getting hot sun on my skin.

We picked up the bucket for strawberries and a small container for raspberries and set off on our way down the strawberry fields.

A farmer guy told us here to pick and the house rules - no running and jumping over the plants.

Then off we went...

We decided to walk to the back end of the row to get more berries...but of course the kids started picking them up as soon as they saw them which was fine too. The berries were not plenty, but enough to make it fun to look for a  red ripe one. I noticed that the biggest ones were nestled in the middle of the plants.

Beanie was a champ! She was on a mission and ended up with having the most of all four children.   I had told her not to eat them and she complied. Then I felt she should have the fun of eating one straight off the plant, so I let her and tried one myself.

OMG - they were so sweet and awesome.

So of course then she wanted to eat more and had a mini tantrum - I told her she could eat a couple more and that was it.  Her face and chin was all pink as the juice ran down..so cute!

We then moved to the raspberry bushes. That was okay. There were not too many ripe ones, most of the really mushy ripe ones were on the ground which the kids seemed to enjoy picking up.


We spent about 25-30 minutes in total at the farme. Luckily for us the place closed at 4pm - I say luckily since the kids had no choice but to leave so there was no drama.

I enjoyed chatting with the other two Moms and one of them suggested a lunch (without kids). I jumped at the opportunity - I really need to make some friends and this is the best place to start. We are planning it for next week.

When we came home Beanie was ready to eat the strawberries. At night she could barely sleep with exceitement, telling me how much "fun" it was. We will go out again with the group in a couple of weeks when the blueberries come out!

Now I have a plethora of berries at home.

Today I made Beanie a special treat for after school  snack - honey grahams with Reddi whip and sliced strawberries.

She said "wow" when she saw it and enjoyed it so much.

It is amazing how happy I feel planning a special dish for her to eat and seeing her enjoying it so much.

I realized its been a while since I blogged so I wanted to give some quick updates on stuff we have been up to the past week.

On Wed I got a speeding ticket - outside the high school no less! The same road where I was rear ended and my car totalled.

What is with that damn road and me!!!!

I had seen cops at the bottom of the road for about 10 days and always pointed them out to Beanie. But that day I was running late and frankly just not paying attention.  In my defense, school had not even let out yet, I was the only car on the road and there was not a soul anywhere around, not even a mouse, so I was not endangering anyone.

I saw them, slammed my brakes, but I knew I was done for. I was unfortunately considerably above the limit which was 25mph for that time in the afternoon.  :-(

Got a ticket.

I tried to talk him out of giving in but he said he had to because it was the school zone and people had apparently complained which is why he was staked out there. He did however lowered my speed a bit so I did not get a point on my license. That was nice of him.

Oh well.....sucks... but whatever! I shall pay the ticket and move on!

We had a great weekend - well Beanie had a blast!!

We went to two parks, ate lunch out on Sunday just the two of us which was so much fun and went to the pet store. She also got to play with a kid who visits my neighbor and who is her "friend".  They played for over an hour outside on Sat evening and she had  blast with bubbles, water, chalk and badminton.

Tomorrow I have a guy coming in to clean the gutters and windows in and out. I have not had the windows done in a couple of years so it will be nice.

Today when changing the air filter in my downstairs heat pump I noticed the filter was wet.

Huh!!!

I put in a new one and will recheck on it in a day to see if its damp. Otherwise will need to call a HVAC company to take a look. I don't like the idea of anything being wet in my air system. Its probably something is not draining as its supposed to, but I don't want to ignore it.

And last but not least. Beanie and I are planned to go on a "play date" tomorrow for strawberry picking with a school friend and her Mom. We had gone one Saturday only to find out all the berries were gone. Then we scheduled it for last Friday. Just on an off chance I called them around lunch time and they said they were all out of berries!

I am hoping third time is a charm.

I don't plan to say anything to Beanie until I pick her up at school and know for sure we are going there!!!

We had a really busy weekend, not all of it good, so I am still recovering..

After a (rare) healthy week for both Beanie and I, where I barely had a chance to catch up on some sleep, on Friday evening Beanie's nose starts running.

Are you kidding me??

I literately wanted to sit and cry.  I was so not ready for sleepless nights AGAIN!!!!

We had an awful night as a result. I was in a bad mood to begin with. Then she kept saying her "nosey did not feel gud" but she would not let me do anything about it (e.g. suction, steaming, or saline spray) other than wipe it which made me even more frustrated. She kept waking every hour and crying. After the first 3 times of trying to comfort her, sit in the rocking chair to lull her to sleep, etc, I just had to give up. She cried for what seemed like ages (but was probably about 10 min) then fell asleep. I felt like a horrible person but I was so damn tired.


Next day - Saturday - we were both exhausted but had a busy day planned.

It was an Open House in her school. She started with a cough that morning, but we went to the open house at 12pm which was really nice (other than her coughing). I went to her classroom and she held my hand and showed me all the 'work' they do. She took out some of her favorite activities and did them for me so i could watch her. Her teachers were very complimentary of her again.  We then went to the primary class downstairs. My Mom teaches there part time so Beanie was happy to see "dammy" and we saw where Beanie napped and had afternoon snack.

We had made plans for a play date with a classmate that afternoon to go berry picking. Beanie was REALLY excited about it! Since she did not have a  fever or anything else, other than a cough and runny nose, I did not want to cancel.

We arrived at the farm while the other family were driving down from their home, only to be told that all the strawberries had been picked already!!!  Poor Beanie was so disappointed.

When the other family arrived we decided to take the girls (they have 2) to the park where another family from school (the one with 4 kids I wrote about previously) were playing.

Beanie was happy to know there was some fun activity planned, and we spent a nice hour or so at the park with her two classmates and their families. I had an opportunity to chat with this Mom who I really like. The other Mom I have known for while and it was nice to catch up.

All three little ones were getting cranky by about 2:30 om so we all packed up to go home. Beanie fell asleep in the  car.

In the evening, we went to my parents for a small gathering for my nephew who is headed overseas for the summer. Beanie got to play with their cat and had a good time.

Sat night was better since her coughing had subsided, so we got some rest.  Well,  she did. I kept getting kicked in my back all night long by her!

On Sunday - Mother's Day -  Beanie was feeling much better so we did some gardening after breakfast and then went out to lunch with my Mom.  Beanie looked like an angel in her pretty yellow dress, and was so excited to be going to a "party".

Lunch was fun since Beanie was in a good mood, but a disappointment food wise. She had grilled cheese sandwich and broccoli but the sandwich was too "crunchy" and she declared "I don't like crunchy" and the broccoli was to hard for baby teeth.

My steak was rock hard so I had to return it. By the time I got a new one Beanie was done with lunch and wanted to leave. The manager got my plate and I told him I was not paying for it and he ruined my Mothers Day because now my kid wants to leave. I was hungry so I did not want it "to go" and I ended up swallowing my steak in 10 min flat while my Mom sat outside with Beanie. He did comp my meal.

Later we went for ice cream which Beanie really enjoyed.

That afternoon she woke up complaining of a tummy ache. I figured it was over indulgence in the ice cream since she did not let me give her just a half portion as I normally would have done at home.  She ate dinner which I kept very bland, but before bed she threw up all over the kitchen floor and ended up with a slight fever - sigh!

So that is how our Mother's Day ended!  Luckily (or unluckily) experience has taught me not to hold high expectations of such days, so it is what it is.

Today I kept her home from school.

I think the weekend was just too busy and some of our normal meal times on Sat where messed up because of the activities that were planned around the noon open house appointment. I just wanted her to have a day home to chill, not have to rush anywhere and feel better.

I finally went to the Dr last Monday and was diagnosed with bronchitis. I continued to feel like crap the next couple of days, so on Wed I started a Z-Pack. It took three days for there to be some effect and today after the 5 day dose is complete, I feel more like myself.

Darn ... that was about 12 days of being sick!

Thanks for the suggestions on vitamin supplements, I bought some on Amazon so hopefully they will boost my immune system. Now I just need to rebuild my strength and get back to better sleep.

Today was Beanie's parent-teacher conference.

It went really well. The teachers are very happy with her progress. She is sweet, well behaved and is doing very well following the Montessori way in terms of being independent.  She likes to do the "work" and does not need to be asked to put away her work after she is done. She shows maturity in that she understands she needs to wait until the other child is done with something before she can have it. Her verbal skills are above average.

I talked with them about the fact that she has on occasion said that some kid or other has pushed her. The director of the school and told me before that while other kids push back, Beanie just stands there and cries. They are teaching her to put her hand out as in a stop sign and  "STOP- don't do that!"  I am reinforcing that at home too when she says some pushed her. The two kids who are misbehaving are apparntly little terrors so the teachers were not surprised she named them. Its not that they are pushing her everyday, Beanie does tend to recount something for weeks after.

I believe that some of Beanie's passive behavior is her personality. She is very sweet and loving and kind. Certainly not the type who would push, or bite, kick or hit as some kids do at this age.

But I also think that the absence of siblings is possibly another reason for her to not know how to hold her ground. All the other kids have siblings and they get pushed around (I am sure) so they know how to hold their ground. At least that is my thinking.

About a year ago we had gone on a play date with one of her classmates He is the youngest of four (!) kids and I saw the other siblings were downright mean to the little guy. They purposely tripped him and shoved him etc. So I would think a kid like that will grow up knowing to push his way around just to get by.

Beanie is not competing for attention so that may account for her not knowing how to react, maybe.

Then later when I picked her up and we were walking away,  some of them said bye to her.  She replied. Then as we walked further away they started saying "bye poopy head" or something rude like that. I heard them! Beanie probably did but did not know what it meant, so she very sweetly turned around and said bye bye.

Wow -- I felt such a rush of anger towards those kids. I felt like going over and smacking them. The director overheard so she reprimanded them immediately.

I felt so bad for Beanie as we walked away. She is so innocent and sweet and insulated from such stuff. We don't use that kind of language in our house. She does not have older siblings from whom she may overhear that type of crap either which is probably how those 3 years old kids would even know such things.

She was her happy self and no worse for wear as we got in the car since I don't think she even understood it. I was more affected to be honest.

I was especially tender with her this evening.

I want her to know that she will always have me to to come to and confide in. Later when we were playing outside she kept running to me and kissing me and saying "I love you".

My heart melted.

Tonight as she snuggled to sleep in my arms, I wondered if by having no Daddy and being a donor egg baby, I have set her up for a lifetime of being teased in the future :-(

I just hope that my love and the safe  and happy home that I provide her will make her understand how truly special she is and how very loved and wanted she is.