Button Factory

Heat driven to passionless living
Perspiring in the pervading pressure.
A move in degrees
that heats everything inwardly
mounting, stifling, killing some.
Until, until...

Cloud cover our broken spirits
masked in the semi-darkening shade.
Temperatures settle slightly
the heat still felt
simmering, smoldering, melting emotions.
Until, until...

Clambering, crumbling, somewhere cracks
leaks in the over-barren belly.
Plummeting scales
the heat whipped incessantly
drenching, washing, filling the low spots.
Finally, finally.

"Looks like a good day for the ladies at the park"remarks Danny to himself while casually riding without his shirt (or helmet) on his motorbike. Too hot for words.

The motorbike, so overdone now in the crunch for mileage and gas prices, was not doing the trick, so Danny quickly switches to a two man aeroplane. "Hmmm"

As I was getting myself ready for the day in my bathroom, the kids were playing benignly in the front room. No screams. No silence. Just play. Danny came padding back to me and told me a story about what was going on. Like a rush of forboding wind, Faith came rushing back to us with a very stern face. She got down close to Danny's face, scolding him with one finger, "Danny! You no nsndf(slurred word I didn't figure out until later) on the couch. Is a No-no! You get swats!" She reeled back and gave him a firm swat on the backside (no harm done, the kid has a very padded bum). I chuckled under my breath while trying to tell Faith that Danny has a mommy so she doesn't need to give swats (for some reason it is not child abuse related if I am just swatting them and not spanking them). She was not satisfied with that and stormed away a bit disgruntled. Later I went into the living room and found two marks on the couch, the obvious offense for which the little mama had given Danny swats. I chuckled again for really, Danny had done a 'No-no.'

r

e
Danny has gotten tallllllll! His noggin is still huge (as was confirmed by the pediatrician, 97%, meaning only 3 kids in 100 would have a larger head than him. As he gets thinner and more boyish, I kinda think he might look more like his Daddy, but with my cheeks.

I have been back to the books lately. With a bit more time in the evening with no yard or large home to distract me, I spend more time reading. Since I am driven by my 'Daily Performance" chart, which includes important daily tasks and not just 'to-do' items, I have made sure that I am studying that which is most important first, or last, in my day. Because I have a short attention span, I switch what I am studying in my Gospel repretoire everyday, choosing from Book of Mormon, General Conference talks, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Joseph Smith study manual. I recently started attending a wonderful Institute class on the Book of Mormon provided by our class. I have had some lovely impression recently an can only vaguely connect them in this post under the reality that they have all changed my perspective, changed my heart, and hopefully moved me toward a truer conversion to Jesus Christ.

- "Most of our personal contributions to the kingdom of God willb e without fanfare or worldly acclaim. it is the continual, day-by-day, faithful living of a righteous life that will, in the end, be what the Lord requires of us." (Spiritual Living Lesson 12, RS manual 199?)

-"Man's earthly existence is but a test as to whether he will ocncentrate his efforts, his mind, his soul, upon things which contribute to the comfort and gratification of his physical nature, or whether he will make as his life's pursuit the acquisistion of spiritual qualities. " (Pres. David O McKay 1963)

-"And as testimony and conviction move from our heads to our hearts, we no longer just have information or knowledge - but we begin to understand and seek after the might change of heart. Understanding, then, is the result of revelation; it is a spiritual gift, it is a prerequisite to conversion, and it entices us to more consistently live in accordance with the principles we are learning." (Elder David A. Bednar CES fireside Feb 4, 2007)

-"If any man will coe after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." Matthew 16: 24-25 This was in the opening comments of Elder Dallin H Oaks talk "Unselfish Service" and it struck me that it is by literally taking up our cross, or the cross of the Savior, or the cross of someone else that the Savior needs us to carry for Him that we 'take his yoke upon us' and 'our burdens are made light.' It is when we are yoked with the Savior that we then are equal to the work that is set before Him. More importantly, we are needed to step in to a yoke with others that are burdened, to stand in for the Savior literally here on this earth, in order to become like Him, to love like Him, to really become who we have the potential to become.

-"He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgetest himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity." (Pres Hinkley qtd Elder Oaks "Unselfish Service") I love the imagery of something beautiful blossoming and blooming vs withering.

-"You can never love the Lord until you serve Him by serving His people." (Pres Monson qtd Elder Oaks).

-"The values of the world wrongly teach that "it's all about me." That corrupting attitude produces no change and no growth....The plan of the gospel of Jesus Christ lifts us above our selfish desires and teaches us taht this life is all about what we can become." (Elder Oaks)

- Doctrine and Covenants section 132 is a gem! There is so much truth there! It covers everything you could ever want to know that is important pertaining to marriage and exaltation, even questions about plural marriage. If you have been sealed and have forgotten some of the blessings that are promised, read section 132. If you are looking forward to that day and curious, read section 132. Loved, loved. It reminded me that when I got married/sealed to Josh, the sealer, and kind old man that died soon after sealing us, said in a very Idahoan way "Now, you don't look at a beautiful rainbow and thing, well gee, I sure wish there were more blue! So don't look at something as beautiful as you spouse or marriage and always be looking for something to change. Just enjoy what you see."

- Our Father is so near, so very near to us. He loves us. He knows us. He wants us to be close to Him. He is so near, we just have to believe, go a little beyond having faith, and know that He really is there and mindful and just seperated by a little thing called mortality, just that little change, from giving us the warmest, happiest hug that we need. (Impressions of Nancy while attending the Mesa AZ temple).

We made the move. It has been nigh on a week now and I am adjusting rather well-ish. Here are some first impressions:
1-There are mountains in Arizona and I think Flagstaff will be my sanity sanctuary. I already have a tote of warm clothes stored in a baking storage unit labeled 'Flagstaff" for the days we need cool air.
2- Josh's new place of employment is not only an awesome job for him, but a really nice staff and a medical office that I would choose to go to even if my husband didn't work there. I went in for my appointment on Friday to get blood work done (trying to figure out these shingles) and had a grand time getting to know the staff without Josh there.
3- The ridiculous amount of brown houses in Arizona really needs to be put a stop to! It is not the interior decorating type of brown, the soothing type that people like to see. It is all the burnt brown and red sand stuff that is really giving me a headache.
4- xeroscaping is depressing (not to mention ridiculously spelled). Why do you want to plant dead things in your yard?
5-Tile in main living areas with toddlers is BAD! Danny has either bashed the back of his head or smashed his face every day since we have been here. It is sad and painful to hear, I can only imagine what it feels like. Faith has had her share of bumps also. We went budget and got yoga mats (also necissary if you plan on doing any sort of normal exersice in your living area) that match the room decor to place at the foot of the couches so at least when the fall off the furniture they won't get hurt as bad. I am still a huge fan of carpet.
6-Searching for houses is not so fun as we had imagined. I just get frustrated. Necessary evil I suppose, actually I wouldn't mind moving into a place sight unseen. Our apartment as turned out to be a good choice.
7- Kids do take a few days to adjust to a new place, but as long as Mommy and Daddy around, things are safe. They are playing together just the same as ever. Our night time routines are back in place, and life will start to adjust to early morning play times and afternoon indoor times.
8- AND, the heat ain't that bad. Sure it makes you sweat, but as long as you keep moving you get a breeze. I have really enjoyed morning runs in 70 degrees, sure doesn't freeze your lungs.

I'm so sooo proud. I love you babe!

We have been having fun playing at Grammies and Grandpas

Faith has gotten into the habit of saying "I Can't" when she doesn't want to do a task. She is of course perfectly capable, she just enjoys the attention that help gives her. Tonight after she finished her third dinner of yogurt I asked her to please take her spoon to the sink. She flopped helplessly on her chair and whined "I CANNN't" (which by the way is a step up from the usual 'I not.'). I reminded her of one of our books of the little choo-choo train that said "I think I can, I think I can" to do hard things. I asked then, "Can you be a choo-choo train and thing you can?" She promptly popped off her chair and then down to her little squat popping up again only to say "choo-choo I can! choo-choo I can!" Thus she bounded over to the sink with her spoon and could.