My addiction. It's worse than the Donny obsession. It's something so bad it changes me ... even on the outside. This is a long story, but I guess I'll start in the beginning.

I was born on a cold day in April of 1980 to Ly..... Wait. Not that far back.

Let's fast forward to 1998. I graduated high school near the top of my class and enrolled at a prestigious (hehe) east coast women's college (complete with nuns and all). While I was in my sophomore year, I became friends with a few girls (what? you expected to find boys there? no. never. unless they were walking down the hall when Caroline and I were making animal noises at the top of our lungs...) namely Caroline, Meghan, and Krista. We were friends and life was good. However, Meghan introduced me to something more addicting than crack and I haven't looked back since.

I'm so ashamed.

I guess the first step is admitting the problem, right? Ok.

I'm addicted to dying my hair. I can't stop. At first it was something I did just once a semester. Then, it became once a month. And now, lately, it's weekly.

Red, brown, blonde ... you name it, I've dyed it that color. (I've held on to my belief that pink, blue, and green are meant for paintings - not hair - pretty strongly. I'm glad.)

Just today, I was driving with my dad when I had the sudden urge to stop at Walgreens and pick up another bottle. He tried to resist, but I held strong. I gave him 'the look' and he pulled into the parking lot. It was all down hill from there. Let's just say that right now, my hair is up in a towel resting as it gets used to it's new 'light ash brown' color. It was red before and I hated it. So I changed it.

But this is the last time. As you all as my witness, I will never dye my own hair again! *cue triumphant musical fanfare*

(Someone else can volunteer to do it for me though.)

*sigh* I feel so much better now that I've let that little kitten out of the bag.

Hi. My name is Jen. And I am addicted to dying my hair.

Thank you.

These are actually just random pictures of me that show my wandering eye. Frankly, I think it's creepy that my eye will just do that. Of course, mostly it's because I can't see out of it. Yeah, I'm blind in that eye. If I stare at something long enough (camera lens, book, etc) it just goes where it wants. When I was a tiny baby, I had surgery on both eyes so that I could see like a 'normal' person. One eye worked, the other ... didn't. Guess which one that was...

The picture on the left was taken right after I dyed my hair some random color(light brown, I think...) and the one on the right is from the other night while I was talking to my pal Amy on the phone.

Random question: What face shape do I have? Round? Heart? Oval? I can never tell...

Here's a random quiz. Enjoy...

Jen, you're like Donna

The girl next door? Not exactly. Like
Donna, you've got a feisty and independent spirit. You're no shrinking violet.
If somebody's giving you a hard time or stepping out of line, you're not afraid
to stand up for yourself and tell it like it is. A competitive character, you
can keep up with the boys, no problem.Don't get us wrong. With your no-nonsense
approach also comes a sharp sense of humor and a sexy edge. Your brains and
brawn only make you that much more alluring to your fans. So keep matching wits
and wills with the rest of the gang. You're sure to bring on the laughs and the
good times. Groovy!

create your own personalized map of the USA
Stolen for ThirdMango, who stole it from Duchess, who stole it from Peter, who stole it from ... I don't know.

I had to work this afternoon and it just doesn't feel like Sunday anymore. Drat! I hate when that happens.

I made this last night and it was sooo yummy. It comes highly recommended by my parents. I sure as heck didn't get any...

Five Minute Fudge

1 c Condensed milk-Eagle Brand 14 oz
Salt-dash
2 c Nuts-chopped 1 ts Vanilla1 pk Chocolate chips
12 oz Semi-sweet or milk chocolate
Heat the above in a saucepan (except nuts) until the chips are melted. Add nuts; stir. Spread in an 8" square pan sprayed with Pam. Cool at room temperature for 30 minutes, then refrigerate. Ready to cut in 2 hours.

The girl finally buys/reads/LOVES Ender's Game.

Check one off the list...

Hah.

I just took another personality test and it turns out
I'm red.

Me? Are you sure? Well, I guess it's accurate. Here's what it said
that fits me:

Color Codes REDS are motivated by POWER. They seek productivity
and need to look good to others. Simply stated, REDS want their own way. They
like to be in the driver's seat and willingly pay the price to be in a
leadership role. REDS value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be in
their careers, school endeavors, or personal life. What REDS value, they get
done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist doing anything that
doesn't interest them.

REDS like to be right. They value approval from others
for their intelligence and practical approach to life, and want to be respected
for it. REDS are confident, proactive, and visionary; and but can also be
arrogant, selfish, and insensitive. When others interact with you, as a RED you
respond to them best if they are precise, factual, direct, AND show no fear!

Wow. I've never tested red before. Ever. Weird...

Maybe I'm more like my dad than I thought. Personally, I think I'm more pink than red. Is that even possible? To be pink? Well, I guess it could happen...

Anyone?

Lately, it seems that everyone is talking about dating stories. I want to join in, but my last date was a year ago. And I was mean. Horribly mean.

In fact, I left him at my friends house because he scared me.

(Hey, I've said before what a jerk I am. Read the Best Friends Post for backup.)

See, here's what happened: My friend Amy* was dating a boy named Jared** and they wanted to set me up with a boy named Dave*** (who was Jared**'s old mission companion) because he'd be 'oh my gosh so perfect!' for me. Anyway, Amy gave him my phone number and he called me up on the phone. And he was on the way to Vegas with a bunch of friends. It was a loud phone call. In fact, I think I suffer permanent hearing loss because of such phone call. Anyway, he asked me out for Memorial Day and since I already had plans, I invited him to the BBQ at my friends apartment. So, he picked me up and ... nothing. Eh, he was a nice guy and all, but I wasn't really 'feeling' it. So I left him there.

(See? A jerk!)

I called my friend Shelly^ and begged her to pick me up so that we could go shopping and I could get all the stuff for the two-week cross country road trip I'd be going on the next day. I never even said goodbye to him. I just mumbled a "hey gotta run" to the group and booked it.

I'm mean. If I ever see this kid again, what am I going to do? Go up to up to him and say "I'm sorry I dogged you like that?" No.

So yeah...funny story, eh?

I'm such a jerk...

Is that why I haven't really 'dated' since then? Cause if it is ... ha!



*Yeah, that's her real name. It's not been changed.
** His real name, too. Not been changed.
***I can't remember his name. That's probably a good thing.
^Her real name, too.

I was talking to my friend Jenie last night and we discussed her recent date with a thirty-two year old. She's twenty. When she first mentioned an impending date with him I kind of flipped out. He's twelve years older than her! Thirty-two! That's freakin' old! Anyway, life went on and I realized that maybe thirty-two wasn't that old (a mere eight years older than me) and I got to thinking (which is never a good idea)...

Where did the whole half plus seven thing come from? She's not 23, she 'shouldn't' be dating him. (Ignore the fact that one, it's none of my business and two, it's not a big deal and I don't really care.) I could date a nineteen year old and it would be ok? Really? My dad (if he weren't happily married to my mom) could date a thirty-two year old. My mom a 28 year old ... and it'd be ok.

That creeps me out.

Why can't people just date those that are their age? WHY? A few years, yeah that's cool. I have a thing for younger guys - I prefer them to be a year or two younger than I am, just because I don't like guys that are too serious with their lives. I want to laugh and have fun, but be serious when I need to. (Yeah, I'm a freak!)

I have no point. Cause I'm a freak. A freak that could date a 19 year old. Wow. And Jenie, she could date a 17 year old...if it weren't illegal. BUT! The 32 year old? He shouldn't date her - because that is 'wrong'.

Short post today, but I feel the need to include a few quotes from the past weekend (and beyond). Good times...

"First, we stole their lovesac and then we mailed their microwave to his dad."

"Of course." "Absolutely." "Positively." "Without a doubt." "Naturally." "You win."

and, lastly,

"It's coooooooooooooooooooorn."

Here is what you need to put in your blog to have a links column:

[mainorarchivepage]
[h2 class="sidebar-title"]Links[/h2]
[h2 class="sidebar-title"]Places to visit.[/h2][ul][li]
[a href="pickawebsite.com"]name it here[/a][/li][li][a href="pickawebsitehere.com"]name it here[/a][/li]

MAKE SURE you change all the []'s to <>'s and where it says 'pickawebstiehere', put the web address that you want there and where it says 'name it here', put the name of the blogger that you want there. Repeat the 3rd and 4th line to add more than one.

It should work. Good luck!

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com Short, but sweet. ;-)

Caroline said it best today:

Not everything in life works out the way that you want it to. Relationships come to an end, jobs come and go until you find your niche in a career, and sometimes you might find yourself with not as much money as you'd like to have. But never worry, b/c everyone gets their "ray of hope" or they finally see the "end of the rainbow."

I've been feeling kind of 'out' of it, lately. I've had a rough time meeting new people, finding a decent job, keeping my testimony where it was a year ago, and just being happy ever since I've been home. It's been rough, but I usually put on a happy face and just fake it for my friends. I don't want them to know that I'm pretty dang depressed most of the time, so I hide it. I'm good at that. I think I've forgotten that this isn't the end. I do have a purpose for being here, even if everything isn't going the way I like, even if I do want to be back with my friends and back in school where my life wasn't as hard as it is now. But then, as I whine to myself I think, “Hey, loser! Stop whining and just do something about it!” So I’m trying to. There is that “ray of hope” or “end of the rainbow” that I’ll eventually find.

I keep hearing people say that if you aren’t happy with your life as a single person, you won’t be happy with your life as a married person and I believe that to be true. I also think that if I can’t find some joy in my life right now, then it’ll be so much harder to find that joy later on when things are actually going the way I'd like. I think being happy is a choice. I can choose to let things bother me and be lonely or I can see the upside to things.

There is a “silver lining” to “every cloud”, I just need to find it.

*Please excuse any cheesiness or clichés that you may read in this post. I’m in that kind of mood…

I'm exhausted. I haven't been getting too much sleep lately and I think it's starting to effect my sanity. Here's some randomness:

1. I lost my cell phone today. I think it is either at my 'lovely place of employment' or Walmart. I'm hoping it's at my 'lovely place of employment', because Walmart scares me... Creepy people work there. ** EDIT ** The cell phone has been found. Oh yes, at work. YAY!
2. I've become increasingly more amused by pick-up lines that I hear. (Never on me, mind you.) Some of them are absolutely hysterical. Others, lame. The point? I love hearing people try to sound 'cooler' than they already are. Tip: Just go up to a girl and say, "hello". It usually works.
3. What is your blog for? Is it for your feelings and thoughts and opinions or what you think others want to read about, void of anything personal? I ask with much seriousness.
4. I taught achievement Days tonight...and I was NOT 'on'. I just ... wasn't too into it. I mean, I was...but not the way I usually am. I'm a horrible teacher.
5. I want to buy the Backstreet Boys CD. I think this qualifies me as a super dork.
6. I'm ok with superdork status.
7. I'm really tired and it's only 10:35. Wow.
8. I still haven't read anything of substance. I hate that about me. I want to...but will I ever get it all done? Doubtful.
9. I really like my orange polo shirt.
10. Should I wear my collar flipped up or down with my orange polo? Which is more 'hip'?
11. I painted my toenails mauve the other day. They look cute. I like them.
12. I got to past level 12 in Super Mario World the other day...and now I have no motivation to play. That is bad.
13. I struggle with major motivation issues lately. I like to sleep.

Ok, that's it. I'm going to bed. Night. :)