R(etired)N

New Year's Celebrations for me has never meant dressing up and going out to a huge party or local pub ..... 

Since December 31 was always my dad's birthday, we usually had a family celebration with a miscellaneous collection of family around....noisy happy family sounds - playing board games or making the traditional Dutch Olie bollen, or just running out into the crisp snowy fields sparkling under the moonlit skies. 

There were only 2 times that I can remember going out.....once to a nightclub with gals from work back in the '70s, another time to a pub with a boyfriend in the early 1980s - and both times the night was a dud.....and definitely not nearly as fun as the usual family celebrations.

Funny how that is.

When you are used to Celebrating a certain way, to do otherwise somehow doesn't seem right.  Even with a crush of people around me  - I felt horribly lonely without my family and close friends.

When it comes right down to it, the most precious times are those spent with those you love best.

This year, what with my laryngitis and not being able to do much more than squeak.....my husband and I will spend a very quiet New Year's cuddled up on the couch.....with a shot of Buckley's Mixture for a toast at midnight -  if we last that long! - watching the various New Year's celebrations around the world. 

My whole world is right here with my husband, and I am happy and comforted that he continually shows me that his Love is a tangible and constant thing......and despite feeling ill this Season - he remains positive and happy, and continually buoys up my spirit out of the negativity of Grinchland.

Here is to 2011 and to whatever it may bring!



The people you Love...
The Places you are a part of...
The Memories you hold onto....
And those Unforgettable Moments
when you close your eyes and breathe in Life with a smile...
A New Year is a Reminder to Celebrate All Things that are Good in your World!



To my Mother's side: Gelukkig Nieuwjaar
To my Father's side: Ath Bhliain Faoi Mhaise
To my Husband's side: Feliz Año Nuevo

RCMP photo

Wow.  That's one way to get the attention of Emergency staff.



This guy drove through the doors of the Emergency Department.  Funny thing is - he only had waited 45 minutes before he ran out the door, hopped into his 1987 Chevy Blazer and rammed it through the doors.

I have waited way longer than that in an ED without feeling the need to do this.  And that is when I could barely walk into the ED under my own steam, never mind drive a vehicle......

Maybe he was pissed off that he never got a gift from Santa? 

I worked in that hospital for 8 years.....and I have to say the nurses are a cranky bunch......and as much as they drove me crazy....I would never have stooped this far.....

Good news is......apparently no one was injured.

One of the authors of the book - "Choosing to Smile" -  has now been in a Hospice almost 5 weeks.  She has metastases of her breast cancer and is in the terminal stage.

Julie has made out her "bucket list" and is hoping that one of her dreams will come true.  That one wish is for their book to be on the "Canadian Best Selling" list.  It will take a little more than a thousand books to be sold to reach that goal.

Read her blog entry from December 22, 2010.  It is heart-wrenching.

Better yet - buy her book and read her whole story and 2 others.

Julie is an RN/Midwife and is dealing with her end of life issues in a positive way.  When your goals are short-term because of terminal cancer........small things mean a lot.

I suppose it's still close enough to Christmas to post a link to this story.

I haven't read her book but if you like a "feel-good" story....you would probably like it.

I am still on Christmas season hiatus.

"Not a Creature was stirring,  not even the Mouse..."

Yes, I know. I am sick. But viruses cause colds - not exposure to the cold.   It wasn't very cold anyway.  Fairly balmy.

The sky cleared just enough to allow a peek at the moon.  Here are my photos:




Then the moon disappeared.  Might have been the clouds that hid it from view - or perhaps it just dipped beyond our vision into the little forest across the street.  Either way, it was gone and the moment had passed. 

I went to bed at 2 am.

I saw on FB that my young nephews in Edmonton had stayed up long past their bedtime to watch it.

It's good that they did.

The last Winter Solstice Eclipse was in 1638.  The next one will be in 2094.   I definitely wasn't here for the last one, and I am not planning on being here for the next.

<< I am still sick >>

So I will continue on and let these little kids tell the Christmas story from their point of view.  If you have little kids you will definitely enjoy this and might even relate!

Christmas isn't Christmas until you have gone to a Concert put on by little kids.  I did that one week ago today and enjoyed every second of it!!! So if you haven't attended one....this will put a smile on your face!

"Based on a True Story"......

Talk about a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e!!!

I am too sick to think, so here it goes. 

I am depending on Youtube.  Again.   So - do me in now - it will at least stop my suffering.



Put together for an electronics company in Portugal, it is both entertaining and thought-provoking in a light -hearted way.  

Although the "Times Change......Feelings remain the same"


Addendum:
I googled the story behind the  Digital Nativity  and was amused at the comments below the story..... :)
Some people sure take things seriously.

I am just hoping I feel good enough to go to my cousin's for Christmas.......

Picture the late 1970s.

I was a brand new nurse, sending out approximately 250 Christmas cards every year.  Through the years my Christmas Card List grew expotentially - cousins that move out and start their own family, new friends and acquaintances with each move made -  and it was starting to get out of hand.

I would spend enormous amounts on cards and stamps - and hours of time to write more than just a signature on each card.   I figured -  if you were going to send a card, one might as well personalize it with a newsy note at the very least.   As well, the post office didn't give any breaks on stamps, so I thought - might as well send a short letter.

Nowadays my Christmas card list is very small. I only send a paper card to those who don't have email.  To the rest - my account with Blue Mountain dot com does just fine and covers all bases for less than $12 per year.....never mind being more green.

Most card messages are fairly standard - the usual "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" - and perhaps a simple little verse.  Very forgettable. 

Back in the 1970s, the choices were a fraction of what we have today. I spent hours trying to find the perfect card....

Then - I found that card that made a lasting impression on me.  I copied out the verse into my Bible and for years I would send out my Holiday cards, handwriting this same quote in each, along with my usual note.

The verse?



Today, you can find it online by googling, but none give reference to the author and they are all in very recent publications.  I speculate at how each of those people found that same verse.  Was it passed along from my own cards? Or - did someone else do the same as I  -  copy the verse from their own card because it meant so much to them?  In my original Christmas card from the 1970s, there were no credits.  It was just a verse someone had composed for the card company, I would venture to guess. (let me know if any one of you out there finds otherwise!)

The excerpt meant a lot to me back then -  realizing that my dreams, and the seemingly impossible, was possible. 

That there was Someone out there who cared for me and was taking care of every little thing in my life, even when I made bad choices or when bad things found me.

That sometimes,  when you wish and hope - that those things we wish and hope for are nowhere near the splendor and greatness we actually are eventually handed.

Every Christmas, when I dragged out that verse, it was a reminder - to me - of the Hope we have in this world.  A reminder to reach farther and higher.

After all, greatness is only achieved when you strive for that which seems beyond our grasp.

Christmas Centerpiece at my cousin's house - cranberries and white roses

AND....while we are on the subject of hockey players......

It was mentioned to me in one of the comments in a previous blogpost of mine - and by the way, thanks OutRider, for that interesting discussion! -  that there is question re: the intelligence of hockey players. 

Well, wouldn't you know it!

Our own Roberto Luongo - goalie for the Vancouver Canucks Hockey Team AND the GOLD MEDAL CANADIAN HOCKEY TEAM at the 2010 Olympics (Pronounced can-ucks' [not can-ooks!] -  and yes the pronunciation rhymes with that BAD word that starts with "F", and no the label "Canucks"  isn't a derogatory term when used in reference to a Canadian !!!)  - is a POET!

Perhaps you have to be a British Columbian or at very least - a Canadian,  to understand his sense of humor......

BUT - my, my. He is good! Almost as good as his on-ice technique!



You have to admit, his literary calisthenics are quite amusing!
 Roberto does homage to the Green Men :



OK. That's it for today.
I can't get serious after that one.

OK...so I am relying heavily on Youtube these days.

 It's been a rough work week. Travelling one hour both ways to and from work after an exhausting 12 hours doesn't leave much time, and I do need my sleep.  Never mind there is no access to social sites (blog land included) at work (on my break)......so not able to get it together.....

I don't know how people manage to work all week and then find the time to blog and have a life.  Apparently they do it quite well, too - from what I am reading online.

Anyway - What's Christmas in Canada without showing some Hockey? The Irish side of me really liked the fact that these guys were from the land of my ancestors (father's side) and that they weren't embarrassed in the least to do some karaoke .....

The Belfast Giants Hockey Team  in Ireland were trying to persuade people to buy tickets to their games during the Christmas Season - maybe even have them given as gifts - but they wanted their fans to know - THE TEAM WANTED THEM!

Check it out:
Oh, and by the way - there are 2 B.C. Canadian boys on this team!



How can you not cheer for them??

It was a cool Winter evening in the Bay area, San Francisco circa 1992.  Escaping the damp air via the Moon glittered sidewalk, I pushed through the mall doors.  Then, upon entering Victoria's Secret, the most beautiful ethereal song .......

It was written by Gordon Lightfoot and recorded on his album, first in 1967 and then again in 1975.  It wasn't a popular song at the time and here I was listening to it on a compilation disc put out by Victoria's Secret -  with Sarah McLachlan singing. 

She later put it on her 2006 Christmas Album - Wintersong.

It has become one of my very favorite Christmas songs.......and when it was paired up with one of my favorite stories....Camelot............well, take a listen.  You won't be disappointed:

We have all heard the story of the gal who was sent home from the hospital at one centimeter and then she ends up delivering in the car on her way back in.  Not really big news.  Most of the postings on Youtube of these deliveries are "re-enactments" by the husband...or emergency services telling the stories.

This just happened Saturday, December 11..........

Interestingly enough the new dad still had time to pull out the iphone and shoot some footage of himself with the newborn at approximately one minute of age..... at the airport exit.....

They named her "Juno".

I am up in the air about this one....I still enjoy  hearing the *actual* instruments .... and am hoping this isn't a trend that does away with the real thing....

But it does make for an interesting novelty performance....

My sis in quilted me the gorgeous square.... talented!

Our renter brought over the sweetest gingerbread house that she made from scratch.....

Not a kit.  Scratch!

I couldn't help it....I took a nibble of the porch.....
I absolutely love it!!

Yesterday I drove to my cousin's and attended a School Christmas Concert that her son (Grade 5) was in.  I couldn't believe the talented soloists!

I wish I could post some of it on here....but the files are way too big. Anyway, sooo cute!

Of course my Nephew (as I call him, since I was blessed to attend his birth!) was one of the soloists and I was so proud of him, as if I had given birth.

All in all, I think I am finally getting into the Christmas spirit!

Nothing to do with nursing - it's more of a techie thing....

It's a great new little addition - a filter -  to Google search that is very interesting and entertaining at the same time.    What the filter is supposed to do - is help people decide whether the content of a website is at their level of reading.

I tried my website, but I guess I haven't been around long enough to have the verbage to assess.  I have done a few of my other favorite sites - so here goes.  I mostly read nurses' blogs so I tried out a few of those first.   Interesting.

Then I tried out some of the MD blogs. 

Interesting again.

Try it yourself.  Or check out your own website or blog.

Go to the Google page.  In the "Google bar" enter in your site address - for example:

site:drgrumpyinthehouse.blogspot.com    or   site:erstories.net  

Click on "search"

To the Lower Right of the Google bar you will notice "advanced search" - click on it - and it will open up advanced search options.  Where it says "need more tools?" click on the dropdown tab arrow beside "reading level" and choose "annotate results with reading levels" and click on "advanced search" at the bottom right hand side of the page.

This will give you the reading level - "smart or dumb?" assessment - of your site and break it down into percentages.

For example:

Basic	91%
Intermediate	8%
Advanced	0%

or

Basic	36%
Intermediate	45%
Advanced	17%

It is all laid out in Graph and numerical format.  If you need further tutorials, here you go.

Our own BC Stadium had a roof like this up until this past spring 2011. It was taken down after the Olympics finished in Vancouver and now a new roof is being erected.......I know we don't get as much snow as Minnesota or anywhere in the eastern or "midwestern" states.... ....but - Oh MY.

I know at one point the BC Stadium deflated in a wind several years ago, but nothing as DRAMATIC AS THIS:



Later amateur video footage shows men shovelling off snow off the roof edge after the fact.  You wouldn't catch me standing where they are.   I wonder if Worker's Compensation would have to say something about that?

When I am standing near some overhang like that - or window looking down from a great height....I always feel like I want to jump.......



...notice the antlers....(inside joke for those who have been reading my blog all the way along....)

 I had to laugh the other day.  My niece posted this on her Facebook:

"The only reason the other reindeer loved Rudolph was because he drove Santa's sleigh. No wonder we have so many self-esteem issues in our society. Would someone please write a song where the reindeer decide to be kind and love Rudolph after getting to know who he is really is as a reindeer?"

And then I read this: Rudolph Had Low Self-esteem Issues.  I have read stories of how traumatized he was and that his co-dependent behavior was cause for concern.  Here are some scenarios as to how it all might have played out.

***********

In real life though, I had a patient once that had the hugest MRSA infection on his nose.  It was just around Christmas time and he was wondering what to do about it.  He said all his friends at work were laughing at him and calling him names....specifically "Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer" and the like.

Telling all kinds of Reindeer and Santa jokes - ad nauseum. 

It wasn't very funny, really.  His nose was painful, red, swollen and shiny....  and it was going to take a powerful antibiotic to clear it up.

Meanwhile, I am thinking his co-workers could lay off the jokes already.  MRSA is a serious infection and can develop to the life threatening stage if not treated properly and promptly.

Borrowed from the www. It's the best I could do.....

Come on! After all - It's Christmas for pete's sake!!!

The last story reminded me of a gal I looked after in labor once.

I attended the birth of another very nice couple.   She just happened to be a veterinarian assistant.

The labor went well, the delivery was uneventful and baby was laid on mom's chest.

"Ohhhhhh......does he need to be suctioned??" she asked

"No...he's perfect, just a little mucus....but you can see that he is doing ok....his nostrils aren't flaring - and his color will get better as his circulation improves to his hands and feet....he's a normal little guy."

 She probably had all kinds of experience with animal deliveries.  It got me thinking....

"What do you do when you deliver a baby animal....say -  a puppy - if they are mucusy?"

"Oh - well - we swing it between our legs.....and that helps to drain the mucus....!"

I think I did a double-take to see if she was really serious.  "Hmmm......I can certainly tell you, we won't be doing that today or at any time here....!"

I always wondered about that....so I looked around to see if I could find  information on this.....and found the information that confirmed my suspicions about this practice:

"At birth, resuscitation efforts were instituted because of a lack of spontaneous breathing and bradycardia. In an effort to remove amniotic fluid from the airways, the puppy was "swung" by an experienced attendee in an arch from mid-abdomen height to knee height while cradled in both hands with the head stabilized. Initial evaluation of the puppy revealed normal blood glucose and no ultrasonographic evidence of hydrocephalus. Because of continued seizure activity, euthanasia and necropsy were elected. At necropsy, there was gross evidence of subdural hematoma formation. Subsequent histopathology of the brain, liver, lung, spleen, small intestine, colon, and kidney revealed subdural and intracerebral hemorrhage. Findings were consistent with high-velocity deceleration trauma ("shaken baby syndrome"). Traditional neonatal resuscitation via "swinging" is a dangerous and potentially lethal practice capable of inducing significant brain trauma in the canine neonate."

Seems there is a lot we have in common with our animal friends....

I once dated a guy - let's just call him "Farmer MacDonald" -  who subsequently owned a farm and subsequently -  lots of animals of the bovine type.  Knowing that I was a Labor and Delivery RN, he thought he would show off his skills in the delivery area. 

I should have known better.

He told me that he had a mother cow in the barn obviously in labor for several hours.

"You came just at the right time" he shouted over his shoulder. "Let's go!"  He strutted off in the direction of the barn and pompously ordered about a few of the Hispanic workers for good measure. (yes, he was a bit of an ass...)

I followed him into the barn and stayed my safe distance on the other side of the corral fence,  ready to watch the show. Having once owned 4 Morgan horses, I tend to steer clear of ginormous animals with feet that could be weapons.  Especially ginormous animals with weaponous** feet in pain.

The poor cow was mooing and moaning......Farmer Mac reached inside her up to his elbow and pulled, trying to help the calf out.  Apparently she had been in labor for a while, and he was impatient to get it over and done with. (sound familiar?)

Anyway, it seems that the calf was "stuck" and he needed help getting it out.  He got out a rope and tied it around the leg of the calf.  Pulled.  Nothing. Yanked on the feet. Nada.

By this time several more farm workers gathered around, trying to help him out.    The poor cow, by this time was bawling away, creating a restlessness among the other cows in the barn.   She was in obvious distress, and the group of men around her were making her extremely jumpy.

Chains with handles were secured around the two front feet visible and Farmer Mac pulled on them with all his might (not unlike some OBs I have seen do, only without the chains....)

The poor cow shied away and rammed up against the fence and I jumped out of the way.  Shouting and pushing ensued....and the workers scrambled to get a foothold..... (not unlike what I have seen happen in some deliveries)

A bar was placed between the parallel fence boards and under the cow's abdomen and the farmer pushed down hard on the end of the bar on the outer side of the fence, trying to use leverage to move the calf up and out (supra pubic pressure anyone?)

Finally, after approximately an hour of scuffling around and still just the legs hanging out and no head to be seen....it was determined that the calf was dead.  Apparently, the nose, which usually follows the front feet with delivery, was twisted so it pointed toward the feet.  A malpresentation.  At this point, Farmer Mac was clearly pissed off, and continued to bark orders in the direction of the migrant workers.... (again -sound familiar??)

A wire appeared from his "Vet cupboard".   He looped  around the calf's head in utero and Farmer Mac proceeded to saw OFF the head with the wire and remove the calf in bits and pieces.

When it was all over and done with he said "Well, I guess you really didn't need to see that, did you".   Matter of factly.

Me: slightly in shock. ( ya think??)

"Ummmm.....well....it definitely isn't the way we do it......." I stated, rolling my eyes.

The guy had too much of an attitude ( like many of the OBs that I had worked with in the past.....) and his total disregard and lack of respect for animals (in general) spoke volumes to me.

 I punted him soon thereafter.
>>>>>>>>

This is, btw, the way it is supposed to happen.

This is what he was trying to do.   (although the actual way is to alternate pressure on each leg to walk it out)

Sometimes they use "forceps" - or a "rocker" in farm language.  :(

Look who comes in to help resuscitate....!

Applying support to the perineum in an odd way.



**is this a word?? :)

I posted that blogpost slightly early....hit the button......I am still working on it...... :(
Forgive me.

It's the old age getting to me.....

Added today (dec 10):
If you come here by error - I have posted the story  - for real........

The LED Pain Reliever.


Just think,  EDs all over the country can use this and do away with narcotics altogether..........what's good enough for NASA is good enough for the rest of them out there ......  can Hospitals order HUGE ones? 

( Maybe install them in the waiting area in lieu of the regular lighting??)

"Using technology developed by NASA to heal astronauts' injuries, this device's 60 LEDs produce safe infrared heat to stimulate blood circulation, relieve swelling in joints, and loosen tight muscles. A study at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee showed the LED technology reduced painful inflammation by up to 37%. Unlike heating pads that only treat just below the skin's surface, the LED light penetrates deep into tissue for lasting relief from muscle aches. The device begins to relieve pain when placed 1/4" from the skin. The lightweight, brush-shaped design is easy to move around the body and hold in place. Includes a travel bag. Plugs into AC. 7 1/2" L x 2 3/4" W x 1 1/4" D. (5 oz.)
 
 

Not that the posting of the Hallelujah Chorus the other day inspired this,  of course,  but since animals were all involved in the first Christmas in some way or other -  or so says the song - "The Friendly Beasts" -  that I learned in elementary school  -

I Just Couldn't Resist posting This :

Since November 23 when I posted this video.....it went from 500K hits to over 11 million hits.  I guess that is why they call it "going viral"........

Which is a good reminder: Get your flu immunization.

When I was an infant, I developed a "strawberry mark" or "superficial hemangioma"soon after birth - a benign tumor - on the side of my face.

It was a little bit bigger than a quarter-sized red mark right next to my eye and only slightly raised.  My mother became quite concerned about it because it was growing in size, and at about 8 months old she became so concerned that she consulted with her MD.

photo i "borrowed" from a commercial website

Hemangiomas are the most common-type benign tumor in babies.  Approximately 4% to 10% of caucasian babies have a hemangioma. 

It is 3 to  5 times as prevalent in females - especially those that are fair-skinned.  They are rare in Asian and African American babies.  The incidence in premies is approximately 25% and more common in twins**.
 In the 1950s,  sometimes methods of treatment were less than brilliant and verged on experimental.   With the advent of technology came flagrant misuse without proper testing at times. 

With risks unknown, future results can be devastating - case in point - the DES debacle.   Today, treatment of hemangiomas is reserved for only those marks that are determined high risk for complications.

My MD suggested that I be treated with radiation therapy.   So, appointments were made for my mother to take me for a series of "X-ray treatments".    As a new young mother with 2 other children age 3 and under, she had to take me by bus to the clinic downtown Vancouver.  She says I slept through all the treatments.

Back in the 1950s, Xray machines were nowhere near the refined technology that it is today.  There are still some hospitals (hopefully not many) that use older machines that may emit higher levels of radiation than necessary.  The more recent machines are a vast improvement.  But in the 1950s the levels of exposure were not so discriminatory.

It has now been concluded that irradiation in infants may cause growth retardation (no wonder I am so short compared to the rest of my family!) and possible future radiation-induced cancers.   A cohort***from 1909 to 1959  was defined for later studies  on possible late effects from the type of radiation exposure or "treatment"  I had as an infant.

For example,   here is a study that was done in 1996 on this cohort that correlates the incidents of breast cancer risk to the radiation treatment of the hemangiomas in in the area of a baby's breast tissue.

 By the late 1950s irradiation was discontinued because of the increasing knowlege that a) there were inherent risks to radiation and b) the marks would usually resolve spontaneously in time.  

However, it took time for medicine to catch up to the studies done, because even though it was shown that strawberry hemangiomas usually spontaneously regressed on their own, it didn't stop the extensive use of radiation therapy until the late 1950s - similar to DES use into the 1960s well after being disproved an effective treatment.

I can understand how the concern of parents, distressed by their child's appearance along with their MD perhaps not taking the time to educate the patient or themselves to the current improved methods of treatment, perpetuated the use of this method of treatment long after the true facts were known.

Meanwhile....Bad news is  - I  perhaps may have to consider the possibility that I might be "at risk" for cancer.  Good news is -  I no longer have a strawberry mark. 


**  Here is the story of a mother and her baby with a hemangioma
***A cohort is a group of people who share a common characteristic or experience within a defined period of time

Some people give their babies the strangest names.

I think I have somewhere already told the story about a young Chinese couple - new immigrants - who were going to name their baby Petunia - (or some other flower - I can't quite remember the exact name)....and I had to intervene on the baby's behalf and explain that it was not a suitable name for their baby. Explain to them that the name they had chosen was a girl's name - not a boy's name - and they might wish to rethink it, for their baby boy's sake.   Having immigrant grandparents with the difficulty of language comprehension definitely gave me sympathy for those  I looked after that were in the same boat.

I was working in the USA in a brand new (to me) hospital - night shift - and some of the nurses in L&D were talking about strange names.    I chimed in - "Ya.....I remember one gal who named her baby Melena....." [with drama]

Big Pause.

 *crickets* 

 The nurses all looked blankly at me.   It clearly didn't register with them.   Deeply offended, one of the nurses said "What do you mean??? That's my daughter's name!! What's wrong with it?"

Not exactly how to win friends and influence people - especially when one is the "new" nurse on the block.

But one thing that would really get me going were the mothers who had separated  from their first husband but didn't change their former married name for whatever reason - and would come in with their new partner and baby-daddy of the new little one.   I am pretty sure no forethought was given at all to the possible complications. 

They were the cutest young couple. First baby. Doting Boyfriend.

She came in at 3-4 centimeters and they spent the morning walking around the unit hand in hand - the occasional doppler reading between trips per protocol.

By noon, the next doppler check was due, she and her husband were nowhere to be found.

 It wasn't unusual to have couples in labor walk around the unit or down to the cafeteria....or even out the door in the neighborhood for a little walk.  

An hour later I spotted them in the hallway.

"Hey -  there you two are!" I waved at them and smiled.  " I thought you had disappeared on me! I need to hear what your little one is up to.....how are things going - are you doing ok?"  I led them to their room.

They looked slightly flushed and a little bit sheepish. 

She handed me admission papers.

I took them from her and looked at them, not able to compute what they were for.  We already had her admission papers......and here were some -  with a totally different name on them.

"Oh....so the other admission papers weren't done correctly?" I asked.

"Ummm.  Yes they were.  Ah.... we just went out and got married.  Just now. My boyfriend......I mean husband [ he was grinning ear to ear at this point] didn't want our baby born without him being his legal daddy......" she explained between contractions.

Of course, all the nurses and docs had to congratulate them,  and we were wishing that we at least had a bottle of bubbly to give them!

Their best Wedding Gift ever came approximately 5 hours later.

When I was in my 20's - up until my 40's - I would have a "Christmas Tree Decorating Party" where I would invite friends over to celebrate the obvious.

Sometimes it meant a few people, sometimes a huge roomful.

But, it always meant fun and laughter and stories and secrets shared over a glass of mulled wine - or eggnog.

Every ornament placed on the tree had a meaning, or a story behind it.  The memories - along with the ornaments -  would be dusted off and reflected upon.

I could hardly wait until I could drag out the 5 or 6 totes full of decorations every year.....and take my time and ponder on Christmases past. 

That same feeling comes back when I see my trees - set up and glowing in the night.  There is nothing more calming and more satisfying than walking into the quiet dark room in the middle of the night,  the ethereal glow of the focal lighting reflecting off the golden apples and the wooden carved deer family gathered around the creche.


One of my most favorite Christmas tree photos is one of my Dad with 2 of his brothers, sitting in front of their Christmas tree.  Take a look.    And yes, just in case you are wondering - those are real candles on that tree.

This past spring when I was at my folks' house, I made an interesting discovery.

As I have often done through the years, I was looking through my mom's old photo albums - and I found an old photo of some little girls that I didn't recognize mixed in with some of our own family photos.  Curious, I asked my mother about them.

 "Who are they?" I pointed to the photo of the 2 little girls, one approximately 7, the other maybe age 10.

Mom leaned over and pushed her reading glasses up further on her nose. "Oh....their mom was in the next bed to me when I delivered you. Every Christmas we would send each other photos of our children."

A few minutes later: "So....do you still  keep in touch?" I squinted at the photo, trying to make out the faces.

"No - they moved to Washington State and over the years we lost track of each other."

"So...?...I still don't get it. Why did you keep the photo? " I was curious.

Thoughtful pause.

"Well ....when you were born, you looked so different from the rest of the family, we were certain they switched you at birth - so we kept in touch over the years - just in case....." She shrugged.  "But....after a while it didn't matter."

This was the first time hearing this story.  Incredulous to say the least.

"It didn't matter after a while - you were ours.  We didn't need to keep in touch."

I continued to stare at that old photo.

Yes, I guess it really didn't matter, I thought.

Not anymore.

This was my family, for better or worse, and I am not sure that I would even want to look into Other Possibilities.



I did work for a few years at the hospital at which I was born.   They still had the ancient birth record books. I suppose I could have looked up my name.  Not that it would prove anything.

My mother had given me my little ID necklace with her name on it that they would put on babies in my birth hospital  55 years ago.  The beads were strung onto a very strong thread and then secured around the baby's neck with a blob of lead. (!)

 At the time I worked at that hospital, they were still making the same necklaces - only they were using the wrist/ankle plastic banding method as well.   The beads were more of a souvenir.

 They were reluctant to give up the old tradition -  they still would tie the beads around the neck.  I questioned them on the wisdom of that (or the lack thereof) - since we were instructing our patients never to tie anything around a baby's neck- safety reasons.   

I just handed them to the parents since they weren't used for actual ID-ing.



 I made another one with my name on it.  You can see that I have photo-shopped most of the letters off the white beads so my name is not legible.  It almost makes the beads with letters look like pearls.  The original and actual baby ID necklace I wore as a baby is on the right, the one I made up myself is on the Left.

Whether my ID necklace was put on right at birth....I will never know. My mom was a little foggy at the time...they did the "twilight sleep" back then for deliveries....and babies were whisked away to the nursery.  Mothers were alone in the delivery room back then, so my father wasn't able to confirm that I was the correct baby either.

Oh well.

Still, even though some things are not great in some delivery rooms now,  it's awful to think what they did to mothers back then......to not even know whether the baby handed to you was even yours......and not even feel that you could question the nurses or MD....?