R(etired)N

I went to Plastic Surgeon #3 yesterday (the one that was supposed to do my original surgery, but was on vacation) and had a discussion about what the next step would be.

"What do you want to do ?" he asked.

"Simple," I explained " I don't want the Melanoma to re-occur, and if the best chance of that not happening means further surgery, that is what I want.  But I do want to know the reasoning behind doing surgery vs not doing surgery and what do they base their decision on?" I wanted to know what the disparity was between the docs and what data they use to back up their opinions.

So Plastics#3 right then and there, got out his dictation recorder and dictated a letter of reference to the Oncologist/Dermatologist to request a formal meeting with me and then make a recommendation.

I figure I have enough time for that to happen.  Then I have an appointment for follow up with Plastics#3 on September 25th and we will go from there.   He does say that he can do reconstructive surgery without destroying what is already done.  I was worried about that.

Another reason why I want things to get going is because I have other lesions and moles around on my body that I need reviewed by a Dermatologist.

So it's one more "hurry up and wait" situation, and meanwhile - I am still off on sick leave.  

I can't imagine trying to making sense at work while all this tumultuous stuff is going on.
I wouldn't have time to fit work in my busy appointment schedule plus all the follow-up on everyone to make sure something actually happens.

At this point I can't trust anyone but myself.

Good news is, according to my dentist, my teeth and gums are perfect. 

speaking of major reconstruction: The Port Mann Bridge, old and new.

One of the things that surprised me in the real world, is how uncomfortable people can be with the word cancer when it happens to someone you know.  When confronted with the reality, it can be an awkward subject.

What do you say?  Is it OK to talk about death? Is it OK to be happy and joke around about it?

I had found it amusing when a friend at a recent wedding came up and was morosely discussing that "we are all heading down the same path to the end".  I didn't know what to say at the time because with nursing, death is a natural (albeit sometimes unexpected) occurrence and not always as sombre as one would think.

Telling Knots just wrote a wonderful blog post about this very thing - and how she used to respond to the comment "We all have to go sometime" with "Yes but some of us already have our boarding pass".

After some reflection, she switched the analogy from  "boarding pass" to "being on standby"  and then analyzed the different ways one "waits".

You have to go there now and read her very thoughtful and amazingly crafted blog post.  It may change your attitude!!

It certainly changed mine.

Photo: August 31, 2014

Now, it's just a matter of keeping it there.