The Angelus'

Introducing ...

Introducing ...

Athena's Birth Story:
On the morning of November 29th Dean and I were lying in bed when all of a sudden I felt my water break. So many emotions ran through us both. Excitement and fear were at the top . I called my doctor's office and they told me to go to the hospital and check in. I remembered from the classes we took that technically we had a bit of time to spare. So we showered, got ready and headed out. Along the way we stopped to grab some food. We knew there was a chance that we'd be in for a loooong day (and we were). We were both surprisingly calm.

We arrived at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach and checked in. They had me sit on what looked to me like a puppy potty training pad for a while to make sure that my bags of water really had broke. And yes it did. So we moved into our room overlooking the beautiful ocean in Newport Beach and  began the long waiting game. As soon as I was admitted, the nurses were hooking me up to machines and IV's and later I found out that they gave me Pitocin. Really wish they would have ran that by me first, I would have held off for a bit to see how I would progress naturally.

It wasn't until the evening that I finally started feeling contractions strong enough to ask for the good stuff (the epidural), unfortunately I hadn't dilated enough yet. So instead they offered me Morphine. Which I took and then regretted. It really helped the pains stemming from the contractions but boy did it make me sick. Finally during the night I was dilated enough for the epidural. Once I received it, it was naptime. :)  Throughout the night the nurses checked in on me and my progress, but unfortunately dilation slowed down and Athena's heart rate was now causing concerns. They said it's natural for the baby's heart rate to decrease during a contraction but should immediately return to normal once the contraction had ended. Athena's was taking too long to return to normal. The on call doctor came in and told me that he'll allow us to hold out a little bit longer but he thought that a c-section was in order. I honestly was very upset and sadden by this. I had spent the last nine months feeling anti- c-section and constantly keeping my doctor aware that I DO NOT want a c-section. And now I'm being told this might be the only way to deliver our little baby. Dean and my mother were so amazing, they knew how I felt and just kept reminding me of the bigger picture. This little human being that I've longed for for 5 years is going to arrive very soon and it really doesn't matter how she gets here, as long as she is safe and healthy. They were able to really help me prepare emotionally for the inevitable c-section. A couple of hours went by and there had not been any changes. By this time my actual doctor had started his shift and had popped in a couple times to prepare me for a c-section.

On November 30th at about 10:30 am the nurses took Dean and I to surgery to prep us both. Dean got to wear the very  fashionable hat, gown and mask ( I got to be fashionable too with a blue shower cap like hat). I wish I could say that the c-section experience was great and it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. But sadly I cannot. Surgically, there weren't any problems, the procedure itself went very well. The doctor went in, got Athena out, sewed me up and all was well. The only problem was that due to meds, and nerves, I was so so very sick during the whole thing. So there I am, arms tied down, giant curtain in front of me (so I can't see what's going on), and I'm dry heaving. Laying on your back unable to move while feeling the urge to throw up, is not so fun. It was awful. In addition I had the shakes like you wouldn't believe! The nurses kept putting more and more blankets on me (which made me feel a little suffocated), but the blankets were not helping. I could not stop shaking. I had Dean and the anesthesiologist (I think that's who he was) sitting at the head of me trying so hard to help me out. Finally at 11:42am my doctor announced that he had her out. Oh the joy! I still wasn't feeling good but hearing him say this was just the most wonderful thing I had heard all day. I was super excited and couldn't wait to see and hold little Athena.

When they brought Athena to us, I was still feeling woozy and very shaking, I was so afraid that I would drop her so instead I asked them to give her to Dean. He was such and amazing and proud daddy. I absolutely loved seeing our tiny little bundle of love resting peacefully in his arms. Once I was in recovery our nurse handed Athena off to me. We had a very peaceful and tender moment and it was so very thrilling :) So so so in love with this little girl.

~ Christi

So after basically abandoning the blog for a very long time and then forgetting the log in information, we are back. Hopefully I wont be such a blog slacker anymore.
When I eventually remembered my log in information, I found a few post that I had written but never posted. Two of them I will now post. They are the birth stories of my two beautiful daughters. I can't believe that I left them as drafts for all this time. Anyway, here they are.
~ Christi

I finally get to announce that after 4 and a half years of attempting to get pregnant and after 1 miscarriage I finally get to join the rest of you in parenthood. We found out on March 17th - St. Paddy's Day. I took a test before heading out to celebrate Irish Festivities.

The test



The babe at 7 weeks



I am currently 18 weeks pregnant and even though I've been sick for the majority of it, I am loving it!! The little turkey is due to arrive right around Thanksgiving ☺ November 28th. My next ultrasound will be on July 8th and this is when we will find out if we will be having a boy or girl.
I can't wait!!!

So every year (it seems) Dean tries to get himself and friends to all take a photo a day. This year I joined in. So far it's been a bit hard considering my camera went swimming on New Years Eve. For now I'm using Dean's.

So here's January's

This is the month. The month when, if my pregnancy hadn't been ectopic, I would have brought a new little Angelus into our lives. Now, I know I'm not the 1st or the only person to have had a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, so I certainly hope I do not end up sounding that way.

Last night I had a pity party for one. I pulled out gifts that had been given to me when I found out that I was prego and read through my pregnancy journal. May seem stupid, but somehow it kind of gave me a bit of hope and the will to not give up trying. I remembered the one thing that I hated hearing at that time, "At least you know you can get pregnant." The sounds of that drove me nuts. But last night I couldn't help but think it. After 4 years of trying to conceive, I finally did. Sure it didn't turn out the way one would hope but at least the capability of it was there.

Lately, all I can think of is that I must be undeserving of a child and that God surely is upset with me. I find myself constantly asking God for forgiveness and asking for his healing hand. Sometimes I feel as though he's saying 'no'. I have to thank my friend Justin Francis for his status update a few days ago on Facebook. By no means was he intentionally speaking to me, but this verse was just what I needed to hear. It reminded me that God does not hurt us and that I just need to continue to trust in him and his plan for me.

'For I know what I have planned for you,' says the LORD. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jer. 29:11

So here's to 2010, very hopeful year!

~ Christi

Gables Halloween Party